STAR WARS VII - RETURN OF THE EMPIRE

This film is a parody. I am not affiliated with or endorsed by Disney or Lucasfilm. I wish I was. Lord Mouse, the Fleet has moved into lightspeed, and we're preparing to-- You have failed me for the last time, Admiral Bird! Admiral Seed! Yes, my lord? You are in command now, Admiral Seed. Thank you, Lord Mouse. And besides, I simply hate garbage mashers. Between ourselves, R2, your new friend is completely useless. The probability of him saying anything of interest is approximately 10,827 to 1. Oh, really? I'm fluent in over six million forms of communication, including street slang. So, yo, step off, fool. Oh, this is ridiculous. Oh, idiots! We are supposed to be meeting the Princess! Come on, you stupid little short circuits. Man! Oh, no! My goodness! Feel the Force, Luke. I'm doing it! Yes! Yes! To infinity and beyond! This is awesome. Luke, sensing a disturbance I am. Princess Leia has been captured. Rescue her you must. Okay. Han! Luke! No! It's a trap! You're making a big mistake, Caterpillar. Shut your piehole, Solo. I advise you not to talk to my friend like that. Who are you? I'm Luke Skywalker, Jedi knight, trademarked the Walt Disney Co. and Buena Vista Pictures. All rights reserved. Luke. Luke! - Hey. Hey! - What? Can you see if you can get me a few passes into the park? - No! - Come on, dude. I've been online all morning. They're all sold out. Just see if he has a few extra passes. No, I'm not gonna ask him for that, okay? Do you have any actual advice for me? I do. Live long and prosper. Get out of here, old man. Kill the Jedi and his friend. Come on, Leia! Come on! Hold on. We got company. Give it up, Emperor Walt! You'll all be destroyed! Young fools! Only now will you understand. Luke. Luke! What? Luke, this is really important! What do you want, man? Okay, listen. Good news. I got in the park, so don't worry about it, okay? I gave 'em the whole, like, "These are not the passes you are looking for" line. It was sweet. I walked right in. So ask him if he can get me into Club 33. No! I'm not gonna do that! And leave me alone! Just ask him. It's this really exclusive club right above "Pirates of the Caribbean." I heard all the hot chicks are there. Nobody can get into that place, man. See if you can get us a few VIP tickets. Table service. ♪ Poppin' bottles Holla ♪ You guys leave me alone, please? Can't you see we're about to die right now? Dude, come on! At least ask him for a coupon for a free churro. Those things are like nine bucks. Go away! I hate you! Luke, come on. Only now will you understand. You all work for me now! �