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1
[Gasps] You're one of them.
Stay back!
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm gonna recruit you.
To do what?
To be my most devote follower.
Oh, I always wanted a Minion.
I'll never follow you.
Your magic expose will never be.
And you will be loyal to only me.
[Laughing]
No use running.
Told ya.
Are you my Minion?
Yes, Mrs.
desdemona.
And I can't wait to report
about it on miss information.
What?
No.
You're my Minion.
It's between and you.
A secret forever it shall be.
Secret forever, cross my heart.
What's my first task?
I can't wait, I'm so excited.
I'm gonna be the best Minion ever.
Oh, wait, do I blog about this?
No.
You can't talk about this with anyone.
For starters, I need
information about Daniel.
He's broken up with Emma
I know.
I already blogged about that last week.
Don't you read my blog?
I published "the end of
demma" and "demma no more"
and is "the Max the new demma?"
You're confusing and
you talk too fast, stop.
Now, tell me about Daniel.
There's much to say.
Let's me pull his file.
Daniel was born April 1, so he's an aries.
Very headstrong.
He's captain of all the
teams at school including,
but not exclusive to
swim team, baseball team,
basketball team, soccer team
Em, it's me
Emma: No, go away!
Whoa, listen, I'm sorry
I was kinda *** you
about the whole Daniel thing, but
Emma: No, that's not it.
Then what is it?
Emma: I don't wanna say.
No!
Well, what's the matter?
It's just every time I tell
myself not to think of Daniel,
the person in front of
me turns into Daniel.
Andi's voice: What?
Now you're talking crazy, em.
Ah!
I cast a spell
it takes a hold of you
I see my dreams
and they're all coming true
come on, let's go
you and me together
look up
there's a magical adventure
every witch
way-ay-ay-ay-ay
Flying every witch
way-ay-ay-ay-ay
I'm going every
witch way-ay-ay-ay
Every witch way
cheese, eggs, blueberry and mango salsa.
Emma, you can't hide under there forever.
Emma: Watch me.
That's it, it's tough love time.
Ah!
We are going out now.
I'm not gonna let you rot
in this pizza-filled dungeon.
I guess I should get out.
I've just been
I know, and it's probably
been harder for you
with your condition.
But you gotta keep living.
Thanks, Andi.
Oh, but you gotta shower first.
Okay, be right back.
And please brush your teeth
like two or three times.
Okay, who's next on the revenge list?
How much longer do we have to
keep practicing your spells?
As long as it takes for me
to get it right every time.
So when I see all these people
tomorrow, I know my spells will work.
Got a problem with that?
No.
Of course not.
Good.
Now who's next?
Gigi.
What do you wanna get gigi back for?
All those photos she posted
of my mom and principal Alonso
when they were in love.
Now, do your best gigi.
Do I have to?
It helps me focus and get it right!
"This is gigi rueda, and
I'm miss information.
"
For this girl my only wish is that
she can only speak gibberish.
Well?
[Speaking gibberish]
Yes, I'm on a role.
Who's next?
Oh, I got Andi.
"Oh, come on, what you come at me for?"
Since she wants to become
a lion, tiger or a whale,
give this girl her very own tail.
Oh, my very own tail!
And it matches my outfit.
Oh, I can't wait for school tomorrow.
[Speaking gibberish]
I really thought you'd be better
at all those carnival games.
You know, from playing
videogames and stuff so much.
I let you win, okay, to cheer you up.
Uh-huh.
Is that why you sprayed your water gun
at the game attendant when you lost?
He gave me a defective spray gun, okay?
I was just demonstrating
its low water pressure.
Hey, em, over here.
What's this?
Emma Alonso's custom-designed
ice cream sundae bar.
Andi, that is so sweet.
Hey, hey, don't ruin it.
Now dig in.
I'm gonna go check on my goldfish.
He doesn't look too well.
Diego, this is awesome.
Thank you.
No problem.
And I'm sorry to hear about you and Daniel.
Thanks, Diego, that's
Are you okay?
Is it the sprinkles?
Are they making you sick?
Do you need the heimlich maneuver?
No, no, I'm okay.
I'm just gonna go eat this over there.
What what's wrong?
Diego, he mentioned you know who.
Oh, Diego, can't he just man the
sundae bar without opening his mouth?
It's not his fault.
I shouldn't have gotten out of bed.
I should just go.
No.
Ugh, I didn't wanna have to do this,
but you leave me with no choice.
Do what?
[Laughing]
Daniel and Emma just broke up.
She shouldn't be laughing.
Oh, my tablet!
Oh, relax.
Cool.
Now start boogering about
how much they miss each other.
Boogering?
Whatever it is you do when write
stuff in that little scratchpad.
Blogging.
Oh, and you'll need video
footage of them crying about
how much they miss each other.
Ah, I can fake all that.
But I need footage of them
that I can doctor first.
It's been really hard trying
to get either of them on camera.
What is this?
Headband slash hidden camera.
No way.
This is the best day ever.
Now get on it.
I've got props to make for the play.
Those aren't real, are they?
Of course they are.
How can we expect to grab
the audience's attention
unless the stakes and the props are real?
Okay, I can do this.
Just don't think about
not thinking about Daniel.
What's your problem?
[Speaking foreign language]
Whoa.
Agh!
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
I'm just Daniel?
Yeah?
Daniel Daniel?
Daniel Miller Daniel?
Are you sure you're okay?
I'm I'm
She's fine, she's fine.
Aren't you, Emma?
I guess.
Oh, that wasn't good.
[Laughs] Are you kidding?
Your "Daniel, Daniel Miller Daniel?"
Oh, it was great.
I wanted to come off cool,
confident, totally together.
You did.
Okay, just pretend like I've
just told you the funniest thing
you've ever heard.
Like you couldn't care less about Daniel.
[Forced laughing]
Maybe I should go over and talk
to her, make sure she's okay.
What's she doing right now?
She's with Jax.
Oh, I think she just swallowed a bug.
Oh, oh, no, she's laughing.
Jax is making her laugh.
[Laughing]
Desdemona?
Agh!
What are you doing here?
I mean, how can I help you?
It's Daniel.
Ah-ha, and you wanna get
back together with him.
No.
I mean yes.
But I'm having a little problem.
Ah-ha, trying to find out the best
way to get back together with him?
No, it's when I try not to
think about Daniel, the person
in front of me becomes Daniel.
Ah, yes, the old broken
heart witch's curse.
This happens to other witches?
Yes, especially after
their first big breakup.
Can you fix it?
I just did.
But it won't be the end.
As long as you yearn after
Daniel, you'll experience
some unique reactions.
How do I make them stop?
Easy.
Get back together with Daniel.
He's so upset I lied to him.
I don't think he'll ever forgive me.
But you're star-crossed lovers meant
to be, just like Romeo and jul
Hey, what would you say to playing Juliet?
Ugh, Sophie's playing Juliet.
Oh, lead actresses can always be
benched with a sudden case of the flu.
Or poison Ivy.
Or bubonic plague.
Desdemona!
[Laughs] I'm kidding.
But seriously, I can replace her.
I am the director.
I I no, I can't.
There has to be another way.
Why don't you come to rehearsal tonight?
Once you see how great and romantic the
play is, you might change your mind.
I'll I'll think about it.
Okay.
But if you don't get back
together with Daniel soon,
who knows what kind of
reaction you'll have next?
Like what?
Oh, just head to toe zits.
A never-ending runny nose.
Hair loss.
That sort of thing.
Diego, where are you?
Ah, now's my chance.
Revenge on Jax I still haven't gotten,
turn the apple he's eating rotten.
[Laughing]
That's for making me hop around school.
Ah!
[Laughs]
[Laughs]
You should just give up
before this gets any uglier.
For you maybe.
How about some buns for your hot dogs?
[Laughs] You can't hide from me.
[Laughs]
Sorry I'm late, Maddie, I was just
Maddie, what's going on?
Help me!
Oh, you want some more popcorn?
No!
What happened?
Did Jax do that?
Did he do that?
He didn't do anything.
I did.
I'd love to hear an explanation as well.
This is on another level!
Where did all this food come from?
I mean, the cafeteria
doesn't even serve popcorn.
You mean you didn't see
us actually fighting?
No!
But that doesn't mean I don't know
that the three of you are responsible.
You can't prove anything.
You are wearing the evidence.
Oh.
We'll clean it up.
Yeah, and after that I will see the three
of you in detention for two weeks.
Wait, can't we just negotiate this?
Yeah, you let Daniel do the
school play instead of detention.
You wanna help with the play instead?
Fine by me.
No, no, no, no, I was just
using it as an example.
Look, I will see the three of you
at 5 o'clock today in my office.
Oh, and no food allowed.
It actually doesn't taste too bad, but
You're a witch.
A wizard.
What are you?
The last living kanay.
Ugh, a kanay?
And you're friends with him?
I pick him over you any day.
You would?
Yes.
Now let's get out of here.
Look, just because well,
Jax is like new and mysterious
and a really good swimmer
and all suave and stuff.
Don't make me change my mind.
You won't believe what just happened.
I saw Emma in the hallway.
In the hallway!
How dare she!
[Laughs]
Very funny.
You know who she was with?
Who's Andi for 300?
No, she was with that new kid Jax.
That's it.
I'm adding Jax to the prank list.
Hey, thanks for helping me.
I know it's not easy.
I see him everywhere.
So, hey, no big deal.
You killed my friend, and
now you're going to pay
Either you or I will join him today
It will be you, I'm sorry to say
And cut.
Spectacular, boys.
Just spectacular
especially you, Daniel.
So passionate.
Uh, thanks.
Oh, wait here, I've got
some new props for us.
Here are our new props.
Are those real?
Yes.
And so is the poison at the end.
I like my musicals real.
Coach desdemona, I have some
more volunteers for the play.
Wow, those swords, they look real.
Good job on the props.
Thank you.
And of course they're real.
What?
You you can't use
real swords for the play?
Why not?
And don't say it's too violent.
[Whispering] The characters die at the end.
Get new fake swords.
In the meantime, see what else
the props department may have.
Mm, amateurs.
You heard the man.
You, you go get me
some swords or something.
And you, go help costumes girl.
You mean Katie?
I don't have time to remember
every single crew member's name.
Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh.
Oh, okay, next scene.
Sophie, Daniel, pueblo, places please.
[Sneezing]
Are you okay?
Just a little
Sophie, take five.
[Sneezing]
Outside.
Should we all take a break?
Never.
The show must go on and on and on
Emma, stand in for Sophie, would you?
Oh, no, I don't
Without a Juliet, we will
have to cancel the play.
It's just rehearsal.
This is theater.
Fine, I'll do it.
Do you mind?
Whatever.
Okay.
Romeo, Juliet, tybalt
Where's my tybalt?
Pueblo, where are you?
[Whispering] He just texted.
He has the chicken pox.
[Whispering] What?
How am I gonna find a replacement now?
I'll do it.
Perfect.
Join the others on the stage.
We got 'em, we got 'em.
What are those?
Bread and salami from
the cafeteria kitchen.
Oh.
All right, it'll have to do for now.
Hand them out.
Emma, take a seat while we rehearse
with these new, um, swords.
Okay, now Romeo fights tybalt to the death.
Ow.
Oops, sorry.
I win.
No, I win.
The salami is mightier than the baguette.
Well, let's ask the audience.
Emma?
Emma?
That's the wrong end.
I know that.
It's not working.
You have to push harder than that.
Ow!
Look what you made me do.
Ah!
What?
Your your face, it's
It's what?
It's purple.
[Gasps]
What an insane day.
Agh!
I need to keep these things at bay, turn
'em into birds, so they'll fly away.
Emma!
Emma!