Tedxtc - Peter benson - Sparks - How youth thrive.

80 million, that's the number of children in the United States from ages 0 to 18. 80 million gems waiting to blossom, to bloom, to be engaged, to be seen, to be known, to be put in the play. 80 million gems. What's our vision for America's kids? Well you know what, we hardly ever talk about it. Is the vision to keep them safe? To keep them out of trouble? Is the vision to keep them in school? Those are all management and control ideas. Not very compelling. What is our vision for America's kids? So, because I love to go around and interview people is why everywhere I am in the world particularly in the United States, I do like to ask adults, what is your highest aspiration for our young? Some interesting things happen. No one has ever said, Oh, this child of mine my fondest wish is that they will ace statewide benchmark math and science test when they're 16. I've never heard anybody say, Oh, my fondest wish is that this young person will help make America more competitive in the global economy. No, when you actually listen, to people's statements about their dreams for our kids, you hear a very different language. Kids who experience joy, kids who are connected and engaged, kids who fall in love with their life and all of life, kids with kindness, and generosity, kids who are happy, kids who contribute. That, my friends, is the language of human thriving. And it's the language of quality, isn't it ? Not the language of quantity. Kids of joy, happiness, connection, engagement, fulfillment, kindness, compassion, generosity. The language of thriving. Here's something we know now, based on a series of scientific studies: That only one quarter of the 80 million, one quarter of kids, when they become high school students are on a pathway to human thriving. The other three quarters have fallen off that path. It's no longer about purpose and hope, and connectedness, and engagement, and joy, but it's about being alone, it's about being empty, it's about being medicated, it's about being confused and it's about being lost. Only a quarter of America's teenagers stay on a pathway to human thriving. And I think I know why this happens. There's probably a lot of reasons, of course, but here's one key one. About two thousand years ago, Plutarch, a Greek philosopher, I've forgot what his first name is, I think it was Frank Plutarch - (Laughter) Plutarch gave us one of the key axioms of human development, and that is that youth are not vessels to be filled but fires to be lit. Fires to be lit. What he is talking about, and what we know in human development, is that the best of development is from the inside out, not the outside in. In this nation, we've forgotten that, by and large, and we are do an awful lot of development, don't we, from the outside in. Fill the empty vessel with information, factoids, ideas, ideals, values, expectations and demands. Some of that's ok. But the real question of human development is letting 'this' emerge. in life... and what is 'this'? What is this fire ? The core idea in human thriving is the identification of that fire, that inner light, that human spark. I've been working in this space now, for about ten years. My team of scientists and I at Search Institute, have been creating a science of human thriving with a particular eye to children and teenagers. Thriving begins with the idea of the human spark. It's the metaphore I use to define that animating engine, that thing about a young person that gives them joy and energy, the reason why some will seek to actually get up in the morning and get moving, something that gives their life hope and direction and purpose. Spark by the way is very akin to the idea of spirit. Spirit is from the latin spiritus, and you know what that means: my breath. My breath, put into the world with vigor and courage. My breath, it's the ultimate question to ask each other and particularly to ask our young. What is your breath? What is your spark? You in the audience, mostly adults, you know what life is like when spark is alive. When you can name and claim some animating energy, some capacity that gives your life direction, hope and purpose, you know what life is like with spark and we also know what it's like when spark dies. We know what that emptiness feels like. We've conducted a series of national representative sample studies in the last few years, numbering six or seven thousand middle school and high school kids, to inquire about their spark and the biography of their spark and does anybody know and care and does anybody actually nourish this spark. The initial question goes something like, Tell me what it is about you, that gives you joy and energy? What's going on in those moments when life feels the richest and the fullest with purpose and hope? What is your spark? I'm dying to know. Let me tell you some things that are incredibly fascinating about America's young people. 100% of middle school and high school students get the idea of spark in a heart beat. They may not have used that word before but once we tear it up they know what it is we are talking about. And they'll often times interrupt the interviewer, and say, I know what it is, I know what that feels like, I know what that looks like. I can walk you into the cafeteria of my high school and I can point out the kids with spark and the kids without. You can see it in the face and in the body posture. A hundred per cent of kids get it, and then they say this, nobody has ever asked me this before. You really want to know what my spark is? Usually social scientists come in and they want to know about our drug use, our sexuality, our predilection to violence, our approach to school. Nobody has ever asked me to define my spark. A 100% get it. Two thirds of America's young people can name at least one spark. A few can name two, and a few can name three. But two thirds can quickly name one. Interesting that another 20% or so, can name their spark with a little nudge from a caring adult, a counselor, a teacher, a parent, a grandparent, a neighbour, a youth program worker, can pull it out of you, what is it about you that gives you joy and energy and animates your life. There is three kinds of sparks as young people define them. For some kids it's a skill or a talent: I love to make music. It's when life is the best. I love to draw, I love to write, I love to lead, to study archeology. For some kids, it's a commitment: my spark, it's surprising how many kids say, my spark is social justice, my spark is a commitment to the stewardship of the Earth. Some kids, the third category, it's a quality: my spark, I'm a person of empathy. That's what I do, that's when life is the best. I'm the one other people go to, to listen to them, awesome! First of all, right here. If you ever discover and name a kid's spark, say it back to them. Tell them you see it and hear it. Thank them for possessing it. Because the spark in almost all cases is good and beautiful and useful to the world. But we never talk to our kids about seeing the human spark. There are at least 220 kinds of sparks that we have now categorized in America. Here's something I wish for every city we come from: that at some point there would be a census of the sparks of our kids, and that census would flood the media, to put the story out into our cities about the rich ways that kids define their human spark. It gives us a whole another lens. It draws us toward them, rather than the images we have now of our kids, which are so often things that frighten us and push us away. Here are some of the leading categories of sparks: helping, serving and volunteering. Leading. Learning a particular subject matter, like archeology, physics, French. Service to the globe, that is stewardship of the Earth, the preservation of the natural world. Athletics. And the creative life. And the winner in all these categories is the creative life: art, music, drama, dance, movement is the largest category in which sparks fall for America's kids. Interesting. That's the arena in which most kids say, I'm my best self. That's the arena in which most kids will say, this is where life is the fullest and the most hopeful. How are we doing in America? In supporting art, music, drama, dance, movement. It's not that we want all those kids to necessarily become professionals in that field. It's about right now. Human development is about today, it's about how I awaken, how I am seen, how I am known and how I am embraced. Have I mentioned my grandson Ryder yet? Ryder is seven now, but when he was four, he taught us a very important thing about the human spark. He reminded us that the spark is not necessarily the same thing as the work you do. So Ryder was on our deck, and he says, you know what? - as he is holding up his hand. I am an artist, I don't know if it's the work I will do some day, but I am an artist. I am. Spark is a life orientation, it's an approach, it's a way of being present in the world, it may touch work, it may be work, it may be outside of work. It's not the same thing as vocational planning. It's about nurturing and naming what is in here. This mum is Lea Adler, when her son was eight - This is a story, by the way, that spark is not always pretty. When her son was eight, he cut off the head of a doll, put it on a plate of lettuce, brought it into his mother in the family room and said, Isn't this cool? Doesn't this look great? When he was twelve he boiled a pot of water, put six cans of unopened cherries and then waited for them to explode and then filmed the cherries and the juice rolling down the walls of that kitchen. Now, most parents what would we be doing? Seeking professional help, thinking of a reform school. Not Lea Adler, she is the mother of Steven Spielberg. And she cut him some slack, didn't she? She went with it. She went with the flow. Well the real problem in America, the real challenge is this issue of spark. "No one has asked me." Nobody knows what my spark is. That happens over and over again. You ever heard a kid say, See me, you never see me? What are they saying? It isn't about the external, is it? It is about, see what I am bringing to the human party. Thriving requires more than spark, we've worked to develop a scientifically grounded model of human thriving. That is spark plus three spark champions, preferably somebody in family, and school and in community, who is a spark champion. They see it in you. They name it, they affirm it, they run interference, they find you opportunities. They talk about you and your human spark. And then the critical nature of opportunity to express the spark. Great things happen my friends, when kids experience these three ingredients. And the science is really profound: spark + champions + opportunity, school success skyrockets, engagement in school skyrockets, compassion for others rises, a sense of purpose rises, violence decreases. How could it be otherwise? We are talking about the process of human thriving in the world. Now here is where it falls apart. Do kids have three champions? Not very often. Barely one half of our kids in America say their family knows and nourishes the spark. Only a third say anybody in their school names, knows and nourishes the spark. And in the broader community of congregations, synagogues, youth programs, playgrounds and neighborhood, only a quarter of kids say anybody knows my spark. And then there's the opportunity gap, that's huge. The mismatch between how kids name spark, particularly in the creative life and the opportunities for that to be nourished in community. There's an anthem for this idea of human thriving. This is cyclon fence looking out on a baseball diamond. The anthem is by John Fogerty of Creedence Clearwater Revival. It goes something like, "Put me in coach, I am ready to play, today!" And the word today is critical, not tomorrow, but today. I want to be in there today, I am a leader, put me in. I am a helper, put me in, know me. I am a giver, I am a protector of the world, know me and put me in. You shall know them by their sparks, probably, ought to be the most significant mantra and mandate for all of us in the world. And you shall know them by their sparks. I as a developmental scientist am amazed at how easily we forget about how young people bring to our world a special capacity or gift, that our world desperately needs and we so easily snuff it out. And as a citizen I am amazed how rarely we remember that innovation largely comes from the inside out, not the outside in. There's a bunch of things I'd do now to change and transform how we do business in America. I would make knowing kid's sparks, at the very center of school life. In fact, I'd put it right at the front. I don't know how you can engage and connect and bond kids to the institution called school without knowing their spark. I would teach families the process of the spark dialogue and how to name, affirm and be a champion. I'd make the first parent-teacher conference of the year to be about the spark of a kid. Let's talk that through and we'll get to the rest of the stuff. I would do a census in cities about sparks and put it out into the ether of community. And then I would map our after school programs against sparks and begin to realign opportunity with the expression of spark. My friends, this is really important stuff in the annals of development. As you drive home tonight I wish you would reflect some of your own spark biography, get used to that vocabulary and discourse: What is your spark? What was it ? What was it when you were sixteen? What was it when you were 26 and 36? Did it change, did it mutate, is it the same? Because in dialogue with kids they're going to want to know... Tell me your spark. They're going to turn the tables back on you. When you get home tonight if you have a partner, a spouse, practice the spark dialogue. What is your spark? Who knows it? How can I help? Where do you express it? What gets in your way? What is your spark? And then tomorrow, find a young person, in your family or somebody else's family and start the process. What is your spark? I am dying to know. We've got this power, my friends, in America if we could mobilize our people, to see differently, to know differently, and as we do that we move toward our youngs rather than away from them. Thank you very much. (Applause)