Lost Girl S4E1 - English Transcript

Oh, boo ya. Now let's see what all the fuss is about. Oh, this is so Raiders. Here's hoping this Ark contains less Nazi-face-melting goodness. Oh, the Una Mens Indeed. They are coming. And they will be hungry. - Let me go, zombie boy! - Whicher, hold on She is claimed. Yet dares to defile the blood laws. She will be delivered by the Una Mens. And you need to be delivered to a dentist, buddy. Your breath smells like the *** of a Yeti. Bold talk from the human who attacked a place of sanctuary. Whicher, you're making a mistake. You should just let her go. I keep telling you I am not human. That's cute. As you can see, this one cannot be the one you're looking for. - She is - All Fae, baby. Feel the heat! How is it possible? - I am mistaken? - Hey, "pobody's nerfect". We'll get her out of here, your emissary. The next time I see this one, her skin will line the Una Mens Holy chambers. - I totally had him. - Let's go. Thanks, Detective Do-Nothings. What, you couldn't have whomped his *** with your massive wolf paws? What, and miss the show? Nice work, Sparky. That was too close, Kenz. These temporary powers are not a good idea. Yeah, but necessary, because I'm a terrorist, remember? You terrorists all smell like sunflowers and Chardonnay? Okay, I'm gonna take Timkerbell home, all right? Yep. - After you. - I'll go do the paperwork. Sunflowers?? Nice. No one's here, Dyson. Stop sniffing. Just you, me and the, uh, thongs, huh? Ha. That's a whole lot of thongs, by the way. Well, I will have you know, that these are all business thongs. I don't even wanna know what that means. I can see why you need all this stuff, though. Sort of fills the place up a bit. Well, I am not lonely, if that is what you're asking, wolfie. I wasn't, actually. Why would you be lonely with me here? That is a very good question *** Are all wolves this romantic? - I'm just thinking about Hale, I - That's very open-minded of you. He's crazy about you, right? Since when are we this? More Council ***-hats. No, smells a little too, uh pleasant. Hello. Please I need to speak with the talented private investigator. My name is Aife. I remember you, lady. You made Ash who talks like Batman, go boom. Oh, suede, in this weather? You beautiful badass. - Let her go. - Look, I'm not here to fight. I need help, finding my daughter. Her name is Bo. Bo. Kind of a dude's name, am I right? Life is hard when you don't know who you are. It's harder when you don't know what you are. My love carries a death sentence. I was lost for years. Searching while hiding. Only to find that I belonged to a world hidden from humans. I won't hide anymore. I will live the life I choose. 4x01 - In Memoriam So you are a Succubus? The Succubus who tried to assassinate the Light Fae elders. - I was agitated. - And now? I'm less agitated. And I have a higher purpose: to find the daughter that I lost. Oh we've met before. You didn't leave much of an impression. Ha. Darling, I've 'met' many men before. And whatever they claim later in front of their lady friends, they're always impressed. But I was speaking more recently. At Taft's lab. That's right, you were there. So, you have a thirty year old daughter? A grown daughter no one has ever heard of, or seen ? It's true, there's no record, or physical indications that I ever gave birth. Though a Succubus' weapon is her body, so there would be no wear and tear, so to speak. Would you like to see for yourself? Scanning for stretch marks? Pass. I know in my heart I gave birth to a baby girl. I know I would have named her after my own mother. And I know this is her. I knew as soon as I found the photo. Five bucks says it's a picture of her cat. I'm not crazy. This woman is beautiful. Yeah, if you're into, like, faces and bodies. Whatever We're not interested. - Sorry - You're skeptical, I get it. My Daddy didn't raise no fool. That's a Recuerdo coil. That's hard proof that a Fae has been messing with her memory. I just want to know why. I'll pay, of course. I'll pay well. One daughter, coming right up. With, you know, expenses, naturally. Naturally. - Excuse me. - Wait, now? Same time. Every day. You've been going for a month and you have found squat. - She rescued me. - Dyson, she drove you off a cliff. And I would have died if I hadn't shifted. That's why I need to find Tamsin. Find out why Okay, you owe me for leaving me alone with the client, and the tab. Good news. She's gonna take your case. And you're lucky. 'Cause Kenzi is the best. I'd like to get going, as well. It's Fleet Week. - Okay. - Can I get you anything else? - Allow me. - Great. I'm a little short right now. Maybe I could come back sometime, make it up to you God yes. Lady, what you need is some kind of manager. New hobby? Is this because of what happened between you and Stella? What?? No. Nothing happened. Nothing like it's just a break or nothing like you knocked her up. Don't touch ! Something's out of step. Someone's been messing with the balance of space and time. My money's on the new Council. They seem really easily butt hurt. The Una Mens are a near-omniscent council of Fae authority who's sole purpose is to ensure the old laws are followed. Uh huh. What's with the seed? It's a symbol of the Una Mens. They're descending on our little 'colony' because things have gotten real messy in the past few years. I blame Bieber Fever. They, um, wouldn't do memory loss, would they? No, the Una Mens would never stoop to something so subtle. Wait why? Oh, uh, new client. I need a beat on the local Fae that can cause amnesia. - Amnesia? - Mm-hmm. Uh huh Dr. Snook. He's an ortenax; fish Fae; feeds off memories. Moonlights as an eye Doc. Trout-tometrist. Got it! Speaking of Doctors, any word on Lauren? She tricked Taft during surgery, after disobeying the Ash. - She abandoned the light Fae. - She saved Dyson's life! It's always been difficult to know what makes Dr. Lewis tick. That's because she's awkward, and formal and shy. The love of her life is dead. Lauren lost Nadia, then had to keep working for the people who killed her. Anyway, she's the only other human ally I've got. Even though I'm barely human these days. We have people looking for her. Yeah. I've heard that one before, Gramps. Trickster. Trick. Sir. Thank you. For this Just be careful out there! Evil comes in many faces. I'm seeing lots of Gucci and Prada Uh huh dermabrasions, botox. Mm-hmm. - Hello! - Janet! Janet, is the Doc in? We need to see him. Now, with a smile like that, you could talk me into your bed, but not through those doors. Now, skedaddle before I call the cops. The real cops. - Or - Or Ow, ow, ow, ow, okay! - Sit. Stay. - Roll over? - Jeepers Peepers - You don't have to fire the Nanny. The affair never happened. Your husband was only helping Olga stretch. Helping wives forget their husbands cheated on them? What a noble calling. Dr. Snook. We have some questions for you. Seems you've been messing with the wrong people's memory. We're done here. Janet, could you, um, get the, uh, bill? Come on, darling. Okay this way. Yep, you were great. This way okay. Oh, look at you - Nice one, buddy. - As for you curious carps, I'm, um Hey, hey! Snook, chill. Just want to ask you a few questions. No, no, sorry. Snook only does memory extractions. He does not restore them. Although, that is some beautiful work What are you talking about? I guess we forgot. Oh as expected the shifter does have a Recuerdo coil. But like Snook explained this is not my work. Okay. Okay, so what you're saying is somebody's been in here extracting our memories? - Mm-hmm. - This is very disturbing Yeah, you're telling me. I could be famous. I could be a Kardashian? You could be shy. Who has the power to cause amnesia, in both humans and Fae? Someone very talented and someone infinitely more powerful than Snook. A memory spell of this magnitude, you'd need to find and shatter the Recuerdo compass. Wicked, vault it to me. Ebay? Fae-jiji? The compass was lost off the shore of Madagascar - when the Esme Fierce ran aground. - Oo, burn. But rumor has it, that someone's paid quite a bit of money to have it salvaged. Nice save! So who's got it? Engelram. The Collector. Last-bash-before- the-Una Mens permanently-party-poops-all- over-this town Engelram? - Yes? - Ugh! I hear he keeps his gallery of antique-y Fae swag well under lock and key. What, I keep tabs on wealthy Fae dealings. For my science. Mmm But just in case, I will tell Dyson to score us two tickets to this loser recluse's *** show. Not a fan of a nice strawberry social? With the Fae? Watching them dance and drink, knowing that they feed on my kind? That their whole Dark/Light system is completely hypocritical? No, thank you. You get to wear a pretty dress. I gotta jet. Thanks for the Oolong. Um Aren't you forgetting something? We are all forgetting something. My Kingmoor ring? Thank you. Anything else? My Lass of the Summer's Eve collector's item! You know they only made a thousand of these? Girl's gotta eat. What's this? Whoa, whoa, whoa are you okay? Tell me everything you know about your client. Oh. No, no, no. I'm not angry, darling. I'm genuinely intrigued. When I say "design me one last costume befitting the new Dark Fae leader", why do you hear: "Dress me like an asexual hobo?" - I I - A-a-a I-I-du-du-do hope you realize Engelram's party is "the" event of the season, and my last chance to get the freak on. Before the Council arrive, to put the moratorium on all fun. Fun like this, for example Vex! You got no authority here, Marmaduke. Authority? All I see is a bully taking out his Mommy issues on the help. You can't stop me from shifting, Vex. And once I'm a wolf, I'm going straight for your throat. Yeah, well, I'm as stubborn as I am well endowed. And I do love a good Mexican Standoff. Olé. Nice picture, by the way. Yeah, I was as stunned as anyone to find out she had named me heir to the Dark throne, so to speak. I shed so many tears. But I had to stay strong. It's what Miss Died-on-the-toilet would have wanted. And what would your predecessor say to you giving your Light Fae enemies tickets to the Collector's ball tonight? Hmmm Since when have you liked balls? We need to get back something we've lost. And why the hell would I help you do that? Because if you don't: I may have to tell the Una Mens that you exaggerated the details of young Evony's demise. What?! I can smell her back there, Vex. - In her little cell. - She died. Oh, she's rotten, all right, but she's not rotting . - Not man enough to finish the job? - You're mental. It's a shame about Evony, you know? She was evil and insane, but she was a worthy foe. And ten times the leader you'll ever be. The good news is you cough up 3 invitations to Engelram's little shin dig. And I won't rat you out. What do you say? Cynthia? Could you provide Detective Dyson with our complimentary party tickets? Yes! My tickets! - Looks like I won't be needing them. - Thanks a bunch, Vex. Of course, I can't guarantee that once I get my memory back, I'll let you keep this cushy little job. Or your life. Stop smiling at me, you smug ***. This used to be a spirit night. I used to be the Ash and now I'm a disgrace. Don't see me crying in public. Lot of ladies shaking their, uh baby grands. - Not that I mind - Yeah, well every year, one girl gets chosen to meet the elusive collector. Elusive, as in, filthy rich. It's not the money, or his collection of priceless Fae memorabilia. Engelram's amphisbaena. - A wish granter? - Yep. So some lucky lady gets her deepest desires granted. That's nice. I wish my lady would get here. Toe cleavage? Real cleavage? Mata Hari wig? Holla! It's Kenzi. Uh I know we weren't always copacetic. But I could use your nerdy hypothesis on some color blocking right now. And, um I just hope you're safe. So you know, if you get this, call me, call me back Lauren. Okay, bye. You better be here to advise on accessories. My new toy. You want a closer look? Oh, what am I saying? Girls like you always want a closer look. What took you so long? I called you, like, an hour ago. This stuff doesn't whip itself. Come to think of it, neither do I. Give it to me. Wooo Spark extract, mined straight from the genitals of a sprite. Ya, don't oversell it. You better let a professional handle this. Mmmm That's it? You're already on the books for your last two visits. - Noted. - Of course if cash flow is a problem, there are always other ways to pay. You didn't make me Fae. You tricked me. Now, I'm just a hot human sheep in twinkly fairy clothing. So shed my brilliantly concocted disguise and see what happens when when the Council comes knocking on your door. Massimo, please. I'll get your money. Good. Or next time, I'll show up with something with teeth. Maybe I should interrogate that one? What do you say? You certainly got a type. - Kenzi. - Kenzi? Oh, my God Hi Hi. What do you think? I think you're late. And Engelram already has his eye on a favorite. I can still get the compass. Get his attention. You've got my attention. Look, I'm just saying you don't bring a wolf to guard the sheep. - What does that mean? - You see those two? They've been on the cover of Sports Illustrated. I like sports. I'm just saying that despite your many talents, maybe this is a little outside of your area of expertise. I mean, we need a killer kiss here. I will have you know that I have seduced many a rich-dork before. I think. Okay, do you want to get our memories back or not? And forget this magic moment? You wanna see my 'skill set'? Fine. I hope you stretched. Hi! Can you buy me a free drink? - Déja vu. - No, I'm Clio. Déja vu came down with a case of the crabs. Charming. Oh, my God I know you. Wow you're a cop. Whatever this is? I'm not interested. - I am a nymph. - Now I'm really not interested. - Ouch. - Just bad memories, you know? Tequila-soaked, nakedness. You know, we're not all bad. We're just kind of spawned that way. One, two, three, four One, two, three, four - One, two, three, four - Stop counting, Hale. And hold me closer, I'm not your Nona. Stop squirming. Dammit, act like you wanna tear my clothes off! Oh, golly. That's more awkward than your attempt at small talk. I agree. Excuse me. - I got it, partner. - You really don't. Who's the brunette? Would you just shut up and let me lead for once? Seriously? - Maybe we have done this before. - That, I would remember. The final rose. How original. Looks like someone's going private chambers. Pirate ***, sure. Stuffed unicorn Why not. Hello? Great door! Really loud. And I love all your crates. Very Pottery Barn. Is this situation going Indecent Proposal? 'Cause I'm gonna need to see the jewels up front, buddy. Welcome pretty girl. Mr. Engelram? At your sssservice. Please, don't stop yourselves on my account! *** your souls while Rome burns. Make merry while ye may! For The Una Mens are on their way! And I'll be on mine, too! As soon as you cough up what I, the venerable leader of the Dark, want. And what I want: is the Wolf. Ooowwww! I can get you out of here for a price. I think I'd rather stay; rip out his throat. The Morrigan, and a mesmer? Seriously? Do you know how to rappel? Why, you got some rope in that itty bitty dress? Do I have to do everything myself? Oh, Snook. Oh, you're on your own, Wolf. What are you? I am a humble gatherer of Fae memorabilia a big fan of your dancing And I am Amphisbaena. Slow your roll, Slytherin. I merely want to look inside. So I may grant your unspoken wish. No need, I'll speak it. I want the Ricardo Montalban Ricky Martin Uh, the, the Compass thing-y. - That's it? - Well I'll take your unicorn too, if you're looking to downsize. Just when it comes to unlimited wishes, you kind of landed on sssshallow. Well, you're one to talk. Like those toddler-esque pores happen au natural. Now, now. I simply shed my skin every two months. - That is so unfair. - You could try removing your makeup before you pass out atop your midnight helping of cheese popcorn and ***. Me-ow. - Back to the task at hand? - Right. Sorry. I merely thought the little human would wish for her return. No. Also, what? Pity. You don't know what you're misssssing. I know I'd like to get out of here before you swallow me whole, so thank you. - You called me human. - I should have realized it ssssooner. There was something so vulnerable about your tango - Oh, Cobra Commander. - I granted your wish, now I "am" going to swallow you whole. Isn't that a fair trade? Nice costume, Vex. Weren't you the impotent *** last year? Well, now it's time to see who really is the ***. And who's just dead. Did you come all the way down here just to show me your pretty new shoes? Hardly. This is about remembering. Or, making sure that no one else does. Your memory's gone, too. I worked it out ages ago. It's the only thing that makes sense, really. This is making less and less sense. Do you really think I was meant to be the Morrigan? I've never really had power before. I mean, not like this. And what if the thing everyone remembers leads them to challenge my hard-fought reign? I did terrible things to get my mesmer back. - Even for me. - Cry me a river, Vex. I still have nightmares about being helpless. Unable to influence. Unable to feed. But, this hm this is about as good as it gets for me. And I'm damned if I'm gonna let Kenzi let everyone else recall how good it was to be without me! How's this going to work, Vex? You can't mesmer me once I shift. Yeah, well it's a good thing I can mesmer your mate! Vex! Leave her out of this! Evan-nescence!! Since when do you do the dramatic? You want drama? I'm gonna end you. Small crate big crate, snake man coming Come on, Kenzi come on, you no friends, no talent, Glow Stick ! Okay "Pay me. " No, no, no. Of all times to get my human back on ! You fought by our side! Guilty! You betrayed our agreement about Evony! Harder!!! You love Kenzi! How could you do this to her?! We all love Kenzi. Hell, your Alpha Male's 'doing' her right now Is the former Ash really gonna kill the current Morrigan? I don't think the Una Mens would like that. There's only one way to find out. - Massive Wolf Paws - Forgot to tell you: love the hair. Oh, my Aife? It's been a long time Hi, Daddy. The Compass! - It cracked - Well, did that do it? No, you still got canola oil. Wait maybe we have to align the needle to the true North. Roger that. - Kenzi - What?? - You've always been there for me. - And you for moi. I would give my life for you. I'd never desert you. Maybe Vex is right. Maybe this is as good as it gets. Maybe Maybe we can make it better. I have, like, eighty thongs. Well, that's great. I mean I am lonely. And this for all of it, it isn't right. It hasn't been for awhile. And my And my heart hurts. Dyson, and I don't know why. Besides: when you're in love, you know. Right? Yeah. Whatever happens, though, you and me, we're in it together, right? Yes. Friends 'til the end. Bros before hoes. - Pals at the Dal - Yeah, all that. Yeah. Gimme that. - Bo - Bo No. Hi Daddy. Aife Aife please It's all that I have left. It's all that's kept me alive! Is my hate! Knowing one day we would have our reunion. And it would end in you spilling your cursed blood. I'll find her for us. This is for "her!" - Hale! Hale, are you okay? - Oh, he's fine. Very effective. Splendid siren-ing. You know, I'm glad you didn't get bitten by the snake, Kenz. And I gotta tell you, I love what you're doing with your mascara these days. - I do, too. - I'm so sorry No, stop stop, we're going to find her. - How long has she even been missing? - Where do we even start? By finding whomever could have erased the memory of the one we love most. Oh, you'll regret it. There lies some old, wild magiks. No, no, no No, Dyson, you can't go now! The last person to see Bo alive was Tamsin. Well, then what are you waiting for?! Go, go!!! Are you okay? Kenz we need to talk. Not until she's back. I can't even breathe. I gotta go. Okay, I gotta go Bo? Bo Oh I remember