24 Reasons All Comic Book Origin Movies are The Same Movie

Hey Siri, what's the name of that one comic book origin movie with the black guy from the Star Wars movies? I'm sorry Couch, all comic book origin movies are the same. Reason number one. Comic book Origin movies are always top 10 at the box office the year they’re released. Ticket sales wise, Superman: was #2 behind Grease in 1978. Spiderman was the 3rd highest grossing film worldwide, behind Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter sequels in 2K2. Batman was 2nd to Indian Jones the Last crusade and beat out #3’s Back to the Future sequel in 1989 and in 2008, Iron Man was number 8 finishing behind The Dark Knight, Indian Jones 4, Kung Fu Panda, Hancock, Mamma Mia, Madagascar sequel, and Quantum of Solace (bruh). Reason number two. Comic book origin movies always got a Oscar recognized villain and comic book origin movies are always Oscar nominated for best visual effects or best art direction the year they’re released. Reason number 4. Comic book origin movies always pay homage to the source material for the film. Stan Lee cameos in the marvel movies, Bob Kane’s name makes a cameo in Batman, and Superman pays homage to the old comics at the beginning of his movie too. Reasons number 5. Comic book origin movies are always for kids so the nip slips and *** moments are always rated pg13 or under. Aunt May has a nip slip in Spiderman, and Mary Jane’s nipples are screaming for attention when she’s soaked just like the girl in the Superman movie. In Iron Man, Tony shows Obidiah what he’s working with and in Batman, there’s nip slip paintings on almost every wall and someone forgets to tell Vicki Vale this movie’s for kids when she’s feeling on herself in this scene. Reason number six. Comic book origin movies always have an explosion scene where the good guy makes it out alive. Reason number seven. Comic book origin movie parents always die. And as for the maternal figure. The first two letters of her name always spell out M.A. or ma, short for mama to symbolize how much of a momma she is to the main hero. M.A. Martha Kent, M.A. Martha Wayne, M.A. Maria Stark, and M.A. Aunt May that cannot be a coincidence bro. Amen, you better preach it. Reason number nine. Comic book origin movies crime rates are always worse than Detroits. The main hero is always in a life or death situation with a gun pointed at ‘em. Reason number ten. Comic book origin movies always get boring midway through so the director adds an action scene where the hero fights weak bad guys before we get to see him face off with the master at the end. Reason number eleven. Comic book origin movies always have an evil crime boss who’s also a wise entrepreneur. Lex is a real estate tycoon and the CEO of "Lex Luthor Incorporated". Grissom runs day to day operations at Axis Chemicals, Osborne is the owner of Oscorp, and Obadiah is the manager of Stark Industries. Reason number twelve. Comic book origin movie villains always spit when they talk. Osborn spit so much he gotta wipe his mouth when he say sh words. This guy spits too, but it’s because of the fake accent. I woulda had to slap the hell outta joker if he spit on my chin like he did Batman over here and Lex is spitting, but everybody spits when they’re talking in the pool, so it’s whatever. Reason number thirteen. Comic book origin movie bad guys are always nicer than Jesus and Mr. Rogers combined because they’re always a part when the hero gets paralyzed or unconscious and they have them right where they want ‘em, but the villain monologues for a quick second then walks away to let the hero fight another day. Reason number fourteen. Comic book origin movies always have a reporter that turns out to be a groupie. Reason number fifteen. Comic book origin movies always have a scene after the hero reveals himself to the public and becomes a trending topic and is on the front of every newspaper. Reason number sixteen. The heroes or villains in comic book origin movies always have a personal assistant. You could argue Spidey hires Pete as a PR move, Batman has Alfred, Stark has Pepper, and Lex has Otis. Reason number seventeen. Comic book origin movie heroes always have an assassination attempt in uniform and an assassination attempt outside of uniform. Reason number nineteen. Comic book origin movie bad guys always do their research on the hero by up end up hitting the hero where it hurts. First they attack the city and it always backfires. Then hey go after the girl and that always backfires too. Reason number twenty two. Comic book origin movies always puts an aerial battle in the end where the hero is fighting against the villain or one of the villain’s inventions/slash weapons. Reason number twenty three. Comic book origin movies always have a scene where someone’s holding on for their dear life and is about to die but a member of the opposite sex always saves the day. Reason number twenty four. At the end of every comic book origin movie, it always sucks because the two main characters have been foreplaying each other for the entire movie and when they finally get some free time to live happily ever after, they foreplay the audience because nothing happens and they’re not boyfriend and girlfriend at the end or the beginning of the sequel movie. Those are 24 Reasons all comic book origin movies are the same. You agree? Yes? No? Maybe So? If not, politely share your thoughts in the comment section below. and click the subscribe button for more 24 Reason videos. I was never really cool with Superman growing up, long story, I don’t even wanna talk about it. However maybe some of you wanna hate the guy, but can’t really find a reason to. You’re in luck, check out my buddies over at 101Facts. They bring you an unholy number of facts about the alleged man of steel. Some you know, a lot you don’t. Click the link in the description to check out all 101 Facts about Sup and tell them I sent you.