A Sitcom - Pilotfolge - 2/3

Ha, those blind fools, Hugo! Yes! My perfect disguise has completely deceived them! I'm no harmless Professor of chemistry, but a fabulous, devillish Genius. Insane? Maybe! But cunning, and unstoppable! Ah, damn paper cut! Never mind, nothing's going to stop us now! We will take over the world! Today! Hugo, will you stop siniging this? It's disgusting! Professor? We're off to our favourite Pub! Care to join us? No thanks, dear, but bring me a packet of Peanuts if you'd be so Kind! Just put them in front of my door and knock sixteen times fast, sixteen times slow plus two four-four times with two crotchets and two triplets each, then I'll know! Alright, see you later then! Enjoy this common form of social interaction! And don't eat too much amphibean meat! That's not safe at the time! OK! Where were we? Oh, yes, the genius plan, Hugo! Our three friends... well maybe four, this absurd "Sven" character might have potential... I'll contaminate them with radiation using this mini reactor and I'm almost sure the radiation is not going to kill them! Professor Crack Followitz has validly described that this special atomic mini-radiation will release something in the subjects that can be compared to ... super powers! No matter if they become strong, can shoot laser out of their eyes or develop a bizarre form of hay fever! Equipped with these powers they'll enslave mankind in my name! But I have to make sure they're on my side! I wish I still had my wonderful hypnosis-gun, but I can't seem to find it! I'll have to spend time with them and fulfill their pathetic needs! It's necessary, Hugo, so they'll love me! My intelligence is exalted and my technology superior! And you know what that smells like, Hugo? It's the sweet smell of ruling the world! I made us some coffee! Thanks! Hey, just Forget that idiot! You know what he just texted me? "Be glad we broke up, now you've got more freedom, too!" No! I mean, is this guy insane? Humiliating me like that and then act like he did me a favour! I know, but, hey, he's not worth it! You know what, there's nothing to worry about, I read my Tarot Cards and it says there that you'll soon find a new man! Will you leave me alone with your Cards, please? I mean I don't believe in that, but it makes me nervous as hell anyway! If you don't believe in it, how can it make you nervous? Ever heard of influencing someone psychologically? What if, say, you know read in your Cards that I'll die sometimes soon? This would drive me crazy even if I didn't want to! Well, the Cards sure don't say anything about THAT, please relax! Fine then! Can I at least read your future out of the coffee grounds from your Cup later? I thought you do that with tea leaves? Tea leaves? Oh Karolin, and I thought of you as an enlightened Young woman! Who would've thought your that superstitious! Tea leaves! I wish I'd get more roles offered! And I wish I'd find a new boyfriend who isn't such a jerk! You know, sweety, I really have to go now, can I leave you alone? It's OK! It'll be alright, you'll see! Tea leaves! Hello Karolin! I overheard what you wish for! Accidently of course! I'm sorry you feel so bad right now! Thank you! However, I think I can help you! How? Using this AIWU! Artificial Intelligence with wish-fulfilling unit! This should be the right button! But, Professor, isn't there a Picture of a skull on that one? What? Oh, I've pushed worse Buttons in my life! A malfunction like this never occured before! Oh my God, Hugo, that's the wrong button! This is for the Shooting Robot! Remind me never to buy from the Westworld Company again! Whose room we put the urn in? Mine! I'll put it were now my Mister Barracudahead is Standing! Your beloved barracuda eating prize? The Oscar for devourers of Tropical predatory fish on a stick? But isn't that what's dearest to you? Ah, what's the Point of everything now? It's OK, you take the urn, Hans! Vanessa... Yes? This isn't the urn! It's a bucket of water! But if this is the water, what did I water the flowers on the graveyard with? Don't worry if you accidently put some ground in the urn! I mean it's graveyard, anyway! What a pity, Hugo! I didn't mean for this to happen! This is a heavy setback, Hugo! Only three recruits left! In the future we'll Need more thoughtfulness! What exactly are you trying to do? I'm trying to attack you! Yeah, why? I see through you, Müller, I know what you're up to! Hans, sometimes even I don't know what I'm up to! Er, your bootlicking is wasted on me, Müller! You killed Karolin so now you can kill the rest of us, one by one! But I saw through this sinister plan and now I've come to stop you! Really? Wouldn't you prefer to join my secret super army? What Kind of question is this? It doesn't make any sense whatsoever in this context! I was just about to kill you or at least make the cops arrest you, so, obviously, I have no intention to join your "secret super army", whatever that is! Damn it, Hugo, it seems this tactic was, well, good, but not good enough! I guess I'll have to try clever flattering! Hans, did someone tell you how good you look today? Wha...? What's this now? I mean, your... hair, is extremely good-looking today! OK, I don't know what this is supposed to mean Müller, and, frankly, I don't want to know! But now I'll put an end to your evil plans... ironically... using your own weapon against you! It's my hypnosis-gun! That's convenient! It'll save us all a lot of trouble! Perhaps I should have mentioned it backfires! I know Hugo, you'd think this is some cunning device to fool my enemies! But, truth is, it's just a construction error. Never mind! Hans, my weak-willed servant! Will you join my secret super army as soon as you get super powers? Yes, master! Perfect!