To The Class of 2013

Greetings, Class of 2013.  I'm Josh Shipp author of "The Teen's Guide to World Domination" and THIS is the graduation speech you NEED to hear. Now, I have heard dozens of graduation speeches over the years.  And most of them were colossally boring... Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, four score and seven years ago, to hold these truths to be self-evident... ...Or (even worse) they are filled with stupid, unhelpful cliches. You are the future!  This is the beginning.  Of the future, right now, in the present! Ahhhh...What!?!?! Here's the thing.  You're sitting there.  Dressed up in your nice clothes, looking all handsome and / or lovely, wearing that silly cardboard hat.  This is a big milestone.  Congratulations. But I guarantee you that no one in your class is sitting there thinking, "When I grow up, you know what I wanna be?  A failure. I want to be in massive debt and I want all my relationships to fail miserably so I die alone. Except for my seven cats." Obviously, No one is sitting there thinking that.  Except for that guy who takes YOLO literally. Yo guys, Let's go crazy.  Man, YOLO.  I'm not gonna brush my teeth.  I'm only using mouthwash. YOLO.  I'll Fabreeze my face.  YOLO. When the teacher asks for a volunteer, I'll stand up and scream "I volunteer as tribute."  YOLO   The term YOLO, was originally created to communicate make something awesome of your life because you only live once.  That makes sense. We only live once and we want our life to count. Well...some people have taken it, and twisted it to mean, "Hey.  Do something stupid, selfish, and dangerous because "YOLO", you only live once."   Dude.  Put down the tablespoon of cinnamon & get down from the roof.  You're a not a pterodactyl. (whisper) You can't fly. You really do only have one life to live.  And if you don't want to waste your life, then the single most important question that you could ask yourself in any given situation is this... What is the WISE thing to do?   Honestly, You have two options here: You can live with wisdom or you can live with regret. (coughing) Lindsay Lohan. You Must.  Hunt Down.  Wisdom.   So where do you find said wisdom? Other than within the follicles of Abraham Lincoln's beard? You find wisdom by following the advice of caring adults.     To some of you that may sound crazy.  You don't like anyone telling you what to do.  That's not what this is about.  The fact is, this is the time in your life when you're least likely to listen to adults but you most need to.   I get it.  I grew up as a foster kid, bouncing around from home to home.  I was hurt.  I was abandoned.  I was even abused.  I didn't trust adults because it seemed like everyone I was supposed to trust let me down.   Eventually, I discovered that caring adults really are worth trusting.  A teacher, my foster parents, a big brother --  When I started hanging around adults that I respected and I began to learn from them, my life began to change for the better.  SO. WILL. YOURS. LISTEN TO ME...You are one caring adult away from being a success story. My advice? Go find a caring adult you respect, ask them specifically how can I improve my life, implement what they say, then wash and repeat.   Now some of you are a little bit freaked out about the idea of graduating.  I get it.  There are SO MANY UNKNOWNS.  I recently posted this question on Facebook: What most scares you about your future and had a slew of responses.  "How will I pay my bills.  Where will I live?  Will I even be able to get a job?  Who will do my laundry?"  

The meta-message there is that almost everyone admitted they were afraid of something.  Good news: you're not weird or alone for being afraid.   During the next few years of your life, you will be making BIG decisions that could affect the rest of your life. SO what you need is courage to take action despite your fear. Otherwise you end up like some paranoid lunatic sitting there mumbling to yourself... Ya know the Mayans actually miscalculated.  The end of the world IS this year.  Zombies are scary, but what's most scary is a zombie shark.  That's why I don't go in the water.  Also, I'm afraid of dampness.  If you scramble the letters in Kim Kardashian's name you get Drama Khaki Ice.  Coincidence?  I don't think so...   Woah.  Dude.  Calm it down a notch. I get that the unknowns ARE scary, but you don't have to give in to that level of cynicism, fear or bizarreness.  Here's my advice.  It's simple.  Do you remember Indiana Jones?  Please tell me you remember Indiana Jones?   (aside) They don't remember Indiana Jones.   Okay, what about Dora the Explorer?   Great let's work with that. 

Okay, imagine that Dora fell into a cave.  And she wakes up and finds herself surrounded by total darkness. Pitch black. Would she be afraid? Of course she would. She has no idea where she is, or what she's going to do or how to get out.   Maybe this is how you feel right now as you graduate.  You have no idea what's ahead, and life feels about as scary as a pitch black cave. The respectable thing about Dora is that she would NOT be paralyzed by her fear. What are ya gonna do spend the rest of your life in the cave? NO! She would find the courage to take action despite her fear.  Here's what she would do and what YOU should do: STEP 1. Ask yourself, "What do I have on me?"  What resources do I have right now.  On my person.  Maybe a flashlight.  Or a flare.  A mentor. Or, if you're Dora, a commercial jet.  It's unreal what that woman can fit in a backpack.  What do you have, and how can it help?   STEP 2. Take a small step. Not a big one, there might be a cliff there.  But a little one.  And small step by small step slowly keep moving forward until you find yourself on your way and in the light. This --my Dora-loving friend -- is how you make it through life.  Do you know how much of our world is unpredictable?  All of it. That's a fact. The only thing that I can promise you with absolutely certainty is this...if I wear your granddad's clothes, I am going to look incredible.   It's okay to be afraid, it's perfectly normal to be afraid. You're not weird or broken or destined for failure if you're afraid.  You're human. Just don't be paralyzed by your fear.  Difficult and impossible are NOT synonyms.  Find the courage to take action despite your fear. Courage is being afraid, but moving forward anyway. So be courageous. Look you are entering a complicated world full of challenges: the crippling economic debt, pandemic global disease and poverty, the sickness of corporate greed, and a world where terrible things like Newtown and Boston happen. Our world is filled with complex problems that can feel like a pitch-black cave. But if you seek wisdom from caring adults and take the next small step despite your fear... you can change the world!

 Alright, that was a bit cliche.  Bottomline: you probably won't change THE world.  I mean, that's on Dora.  And her backpack.  But you can change someone's world.  You can't do something about everything, but you can do something about something.  You can make a positive impact on the sliver of the world that YOU touch, and if enough of you do that, well THAT genuinely could change everything for the better.   
 Class of 2013 -- we're ALL counting on you. No pressure.