EP 11 - Reality Versus Valerie

- Oh... - Come to Momma. Expecto Prometheus! Expecto Prometheus! I had such high hopes for this spell... Alright. I love you. I love you. I... ... love... you. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU! - I love you too. - Don't you ever wash your hands? - Oh, Val, perfect. I was just talking about you. ... So she picks up the brownie with her fingers, shovels it into her mouth and runs off! - Someone's a firecracker! I see where you get it from... - And that's Mother's new fling. - Well, I was impetuous when I was young, but there comes the time when you have to start thinking... ... more practically. - True. So Valerie, your mother tells me you lost your job. You having money problems? - What? No. I mean, I didn't lose my job, I quit. - Without anything else lined up. See what I mean? - Mother, you know I work full time. - At a used bookstore, dear. - In retail. Which it's something I'm sure you know more than a little about. - Oh, more than a little. I'm just saying with the right career moves in your last job, you could've been the person doing the shopping rather than the person working. - Most parents complain about how the kids grow so fast, the years just slip by, where-oh-where has the time gone? But not Mother. I could never be 'adult' enough for her. She's always had a gift for making me feel like a little kid. It's nice to see she hasn't lost her touch. - So what are your prospects? - What? Who's a prospector? Prospects. Career options. What's the plan, Stan? - Uhm... ... well, the economy is... - Actually, this generation changes their plans all the time. You don't see many young people sticking with one career for the whole life anymore. Just old boring guys like us. - Ah... I'm so sorry about that. - You don't need to apologise. You were the one under interrogation. - It was like bad cop / bad cop. She certainly is a match for ol' "*** Eyes" Richard in there. - Were like "*** Eyes" ***. It's too many body parts in that sentence. - I'm really proud of you, you know? Your mom always put on you so much pressure and you never cave. You do what you want. I've know her for awhile, and she can be pretty intense. To be honest, I halfway expected you'd be exactly like her before we met. - Surprised? - Personally, I'm astonished. - I have to tell you something. I love you. - Wow... I love you too. - Awesome! - Ok, whew... that's great, because I was worried... - Val, I have to go to Uganda in two weeks. - Yeah, and I'm on my way to Eden Prime right now. You're serious? It's for Doctors For Africa. But it's not forever, and it doesn't change how I feel about you. I've been trying to tell you for a while, but... but everything was just so new, and... and then it was so great, and then... it just never seemed like the right time. - And now does? - Can we talk about this for a second? I... - How long? - ... How long am I gone for? Or how long did I know I'd be going? I don't know. And six weeks. - Six weeks? You've know for six weeks? Can you please pull over? - Val, c-could we talk about this, please? - What's the point? Have a nice trip. I can't believe he waited six weeks to tell you... that's half the time you've been dating! - The worst part about it is I don't think he was even going to tell me. Probably just wake up to a note that read: 'Thanks for the great sex, going to save lifes, see you never. Signed, your friendly neighbourhood Lying Person. - No, Val. No. He said he loves you. It's a coward, not a lier. You know? It's probably his love that was stopping him from telling you. - How is that love? You know who's not gonna leave me for go to Uganda? Whiskey. More, please. What did I do wrong? I mean, I tried the relationship thing, be nice, be myself. But obviously didn't make him want to stay. - It's not your fault. Don't ever say it's your fault. It's probably a pattern of his. You know, I have this great book I can lend you... - I wanna go dancing. Right now. - I'm working. And you need rest. How about I take you home to bed? And make you a nice cozy drink... it has ginseng in it! - Darcy, please. I just wanna take my mind off this by dancing my face off. - Fine. I get off in half an hour. But, we are not staying up late and you are coming with me to hot yoga in the morning. - What are you drinking? - Val? Are you alright? Systems are go-go! - We are leaving, and I'm recommending a cleanse. - I don't want cleanse recommendations! I wanna grab life by the balls, Darcy! I want to grab 'em like this. And then twist a little bit. Then pull' em right off. And then I'm going to flip on TV and buy one of those fruit processors and make a half ball... half life.... smoothie! - That's very graphic. I don't get it. Is this what you want from life? Grinding up with gross guys when you're drunk? - Maybe. Maybe I don't know what I want. And I wish everyone would stop asking me. Isn't enough if I'm happy? I don't have to listen to you, or Guy, or my boyfriend, or my mother, or anyone. So... my place or yours? - Yeah, I've got standards... - Valerie, hello. Is everything alright? It's really late. It's Val, go back to bed. What's wrong? - I'm single again. - Aw, Valerie. What happened? - Everything was fine and then I told him that I loved him and he told me that he's leaving... and now I don't know what to do... It's over. I need you to tell me what to do. - Oh... no. Val, you're going to have to figure this out for yourself. God knows you never take my advice anyway. We both know I've had a lot of men, Valerie. Not now, ***! And I can tell you that in these situations, you are your own best judge. Only you can know your own heart, Val. Take some time, just try to deduce is that you want. And once you know what that is, you go out and you get it. How does that sound? - Hard. - Of course it's hard. But I was strong , and you're strong too. So. It's very late. Are you home yet? - Almost. - Well, good. Text me when you get in. Sleep well and tomorrow I'll take you off for brunch. I love you, Valerie. - Uhm.. just on right up here. - Oh my goodness! Poor Val! - Poor Val. - Things are not going well for her. You guys, this is Galen Drinnan. He wrote that episode that you just saw. - I did. - Very sad for Val... where did you draw inspirations, Galen? - I just thought killing beautiful things. You know, if I take something and I just kind of like destroy... - Smash, smash, smash! - ... it's great that I plenty I got off Val. So, you know: better way to bring out then in an episode of Versus Valerie. - Sure! So Galen is also the editor of sexynerdgirl.com. Galen, why don't you tell us a little bit about sexynerdgirl.com? - Sure, so: sexynerdgirl.com is Val's in-world website that she writes for and runs with the team of contributing writers and she her blog is there, her vlogs are there... nerdy topics of all kind we post daily so go check something out.... and might find something you like. It's great, it's in general terms, the light side of the internet. - Sad episode, but... - You guys, Alan Frew of Glass Tiger, playing Richard! Damn it, mother! Ah! - Great casting. - Amazing. Heartbreaker. Truly. Scottish accent. - We had a lot of the great guest stars in this episode. We had Mark Meer who is always wonderful. We had Daryn McIntyre playing the sexy guy at the bar. And we had Alexandra Wylie playing Darcy, who is one of Val's best friends and great person to have in your corner when you're going to the bar and you get a bit messy. - Lastly but not leastly, how awesome is young Val, played by Fiona, great, super-talented, very sweet. - She's so sweet and cute. - As always, you should catch up with Versus Valerie on social media, because stuff is always happening there. We're talking about Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Tumblr and Google + - Next episode is our season finale. Episode 12 is the finale of Season 1. - That's great! - It's totally great! - And you know what? The best way to view it is have a viewing party. Get together with 3, 4... 20 of your friends. Hang out, have some fun, watch the last episode of the season. - Yeah, so send 3, 4... 20 of your closest friends episode 1 of Versus Valerie, and then they have time to get caught up before 2 weeks is out. And Season 1 is done. As always, thank you so much for watching. Leave a comment below, let us know what you like, let us know what you wanna see more of, and we'll see you in two weeks. - Bye! - Peace! - Airport?