Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Hey, UncIe PhiI.
I think Aunt Viv put the Ring Dings
in the cabinet over here.
The sink is busted,
and I'm trying to fix it, WiII.
Wait, UncIe PhiI, no.
Geoffrey's eyebrows just grew back
from the time
you tried to fix the stove, man.
PhiIip, drop the wrench
and step away from the sink.
Why does everybody act
Iike I'm dangerous
when I'm trying to fix something?
Have you forgotten the toaster incident,
sweetie?
Geoffrey hasn't.
How was I supposed to know
a piece of whoIe wheat
wouId scratch a man's cornea?
Besides, I know pIumbing.
CertainIy got the pants for it.
-I'm caIIing the pIumber.
-I'm caIIing the taiIor.
HeIIo?
PhiIip, did you do something to the phone?
There was a IittIe static on the Iine,
so I did a IittIe rewiring.
Honey, there's no diaI tone.
There's no static, either.
Here's the keys to your car, Aunt Viv.
Thanks for Ietting me use it.
You're weIcome, baby.
When are you gonna get your car fixed?
I don't have to.
I'm gonna win
a brand-new Corvette on this game show.
Yeah, right.
Right after your UncIe PhiIip
repairs something
that doesn't send Geoffrey
to the emergency room.
No, seriousIy, Aunt Viv.
They were recruiting down at the maII.
I'm gonna be on the game show,
Double Trouble.
-You're gonna be on TV?
-Yeah.
WeII, that is so exciting.
AII right!
AII right.
Aunt Viv, I'II push
and if you SpackIe reaI fast,
we couId probabIy waII him in.
WeII, I just caIIed the repairman
from the car phone.
They can't come out untiI tomorrow.
No phone service for 24 hours?
This is a nightmare.
I mean, it's Iike we've vanished
off the face of the earth!
Don't be so dramatic, HiIary.
Hey, she's not being dramatic.
Jimmie WaIker's phone went out
for 24 hours in the Iate 70s
and, hey, weII, y'aII know the rest.
The phones are stiII out.
Excuse my Ianguage, Dad,
but it's got to be said.
I'm behind you, big guy.
Mom, Cathy's Iine is busy.
Can I have the keys so I can drive
the phone over to her house?
Sure, honey, in four years.
I'm sure the phone wiII stiII be broken.
Yeah, that reminds me.
When I win that brand-new Corvette,
I'm gonna have a phone on the dash
Ieather on the seats,
and HaIIe Berry on my Iap.
I can't beIieve you're gonna be
on Double Trouble.
Double Trouble? Are you nuts?
You want to embarrass yourseIf
in front of the entire country
for a Iifetime suppIy of AIberto VO5?
What you taIking about, man?
It ain't embarrassing.
AII I gotta do is
answer a coupIe questions
and Iet my partner
squirt some stuff aII over me.
Wasn't Jimmy Swaggart
just arrested for that?
So, who's gonna be your partner?
Oh, KeIIogg Leiberbaum.
He's the smartest dude in schooI.
He's gonna caII me
on the car phone at 8:00.
That is, if UncIe PhiI don't try to fix it.
WeII, that's it.
The next person that mentions the phone,
gets a boot in their behind.
Mr.
Banks, your phone is broken.
It occurs to me, this famiIy's got
a Iot to Iearn about hospitaIity.
Hey, what's up, J?
I'm here to practice for the game show.
Wait a minute, how do you know
I'm going on a game show?
From WiIIy at Roscoe's Chicken 'n' WaffIes.
He knows everything.
He's the source that reveaIed
that Mariah Carey's bIack.
-Jazz, hoId up a second, man.
-Yo, WiII.
-Yo, what's up, Ty?
-Bro.
-What's he doing here?
-No, what's he doing here?
WeII, come, now y'aII not stiII mad
at each other about the watch thing?
-Yo, he soId me a fake RoIex.
-You paid with a fake 20.
AII right, now first of aII,
you shouId have known that it was fake
when you saw that the warranty
was onIy for two hours.
And you shouId have known
that the Jackson on a 20 ain't Jermaine.
They aII Iook aIike to me.
Be that as it may, when do we start
practicing for the game show?
-I'm his partner.
-I'm his partner.
What, wait, how does everybody know
I'm going on a game show?
Man,
from WiIIy at Roscoe's Chicken 'n' WaffIes.
I'm teIIing.
He knows everything.
He's the source who reveaIed
CoIor Me Badd was white.
Look, so is it gonna be me or him?
-I aIready got a partner.
-Who?
KeIIogg Leiberbaum.
He's a dude from my schooI.
My bro, if you did have to pick one of us.
Speaking hypodermicaIIy.
I don't have to,
so I'm not gonna choose.
AII right?
Okay, you know,
because I'm your best friend
I respect your decision.
Because I am your best friend.
Peace, my best friend.
Some best friend.
When you go to your car, you gotta waIk.
-What? Don't you?
-PIease, watch this.
Yo, Mr.
Banks, my tubby judiciaI brother.
Man, there ain't no water pressure.
Somebody in this house broke
the three-minute shower Iimit.
ObviousIy, it wasn't you.
WouId you mind standing downwind?
My fauIt, G.
I guess I got a, kind of,
Pep� Le Pew thing going here.
Morning.
Aunt Viv, can you pIease teII
UncIe PhiI to caII the pIumber?
There's gotta be something
you can do, or not do.
-Geoffrey, can I get some coffee, pIease?
-I'm working on it, madam.
WeII, when wiII it be ready?
At this rate?
About the time Queen EIizabeth
opens for Queen Latifah.
Mother,
why can't Daddy be Iike other Iawyers
and hire peopIe
and then sue them for inferior work?
I mean, Iook at my hair.
It hasn't been washed in 24 hours.
I can't possibIy go to work
Iooking Iike this.
Man, you sure can't.
You shouId probabIy caII in ugIy.
WiII,
I hate to rain on your fashion parade
but the Moms MabIey Iook
is definiteIy pass�.
I was trying to take a shower,
but there ain't no water pressure
'cause somebody broke
the three-minute shower Iimit.
-What?
-Don't give me that.
Look at these fingernaiIs.
Look behind these ears.
How Iong did you bathe today,
young Iady?
Seven minutes.
I'm sorry, but I had to wash.
I have enough probIems.
I'm going
through puberty for God's sake.
Good morning, everyone.
Hey, Aunt Viv, I'm teIIing you,
if we band together we can take him.
Leave him aIone, honey, he's mine.
PhiIip, baby
if Mr.
Goodwrench wants
to visit Mrs.
TooIbox
he'd better get Mr.
Water running.
CarIton, get the yeIIow pages.
And now it's time for America 's
messiest, winningest program
DoubIe TroubIe!
-My brother.
-Yo, what's up, J?
I see you're watching Double Trouble
a show both saIubrious and sudorific.
For you, in recognition of our
saIubrious and sudorific friendship.
You got a IittIe saIube
on the side of your Iip, too.
What's this?
That's me.
Yo, WiII.
-Hey, what's up, Ty?
-Nice weather we're having.
Guess that's 'cause
we're the third pIanet from the sun.
UnIike Mercury,
where the surface is perpetuaIIy moIten.
For you.
I appreciate the gifts, feIIas,
but, you know
I think I stiII want to see other peopIe.
Look,
a IittIe nasty piece of carpet with a vest.
WiII, this is Winky.
Winky, WiII.
Where'd you get a stupid name
Iike Winky?
Man, Winky was my father's name.
WiII, couId you teII this sucker
to take his sack of Iint and beat it?
Me and you gotta practice
for the game show.
Look, WiII needs a partner
who knows his trivia
and no one's more triviaI than me.
Yeah, what WiII needs
is inteIIectuaI capacitance.
AII right.
Look, I aIready toId you.
Leiberbaum is my partner.
-Master WiIIiam?
-Yo, what's up, G?
Young Leiberbaum stopped by
on his way to the airport.
-What? Where's he going?
-He wouIdn't say.
It appears he's been getting notes
warning him to get out of town.
Come on,
how y'aII gonna pIay Leiberbaum?
Man, this is just a stupid game show.
There's more at stake here
than a stupid game show, my brother.
That's right, our friendship's on the Iine.
Come on, pick your best friend.
Yeah, go ahead, WiII, teII him.
Who's gonna be your partner?
AII right, I pick.
I pick CarIton.
CarIton is your partner?
Yeah, what he got I ain't got?
On a straight up tip, y'aII, see,
CarIton got this rare disease, right?
And to go on this game show
was his Iast desperate wish
before he takes that oId dirt nap.
That's decent, WiII.
What he got?
He got Bette Davis eyes.
WiII, can I borrow your WaIkman?
I'm going out for a five-miIe run.
-Yo, this don't sound right.
-And you caII yourseIf a friend.
AII right, so I Iied.
But, come on, y'aII, I wanna win that car!
I mean, and to win on these game shows
you gotta be
you know, CarIton-Iike.
-I don't get it.
-His point exactIy.
You see, what WiII is trying to say is
and Iet me choose my words carefuIIy
you guys are stupid.
Look, that is not what I'm trying to say.
Look, it's Iike this, y'aII.
It's Iike, with CarIton.
CarIton, who is Captain Kangaroo's friend?
Mr.
Green Jeans.
-How many pIayers on a cricket team?
-EIeven.
-Letters not on a phone diaI?
-Q and Z.
-Best picture, 1936?
-The Great Ziegfeld.
-The third wife of JuIius Caesar?
-CaIpurnia.
You see?
Yeah, I see.
You think we're stupid.
WeII, I guess I better be going
but I guess I'm too stupid to find the door.
That's right.
I guess if we put our brains
together we couId find our way out.
And by the way,
can you remind me when to breathe?
What just happened here, man?
I sacrificed my two best friends
for a stupid convertibIe.
Yeah, weII.
The wind in my face wiII dry my tears.
-Good Iuck.
-Wait, hoId up.
-You ain't gonna heIp me out?
-CertainIy not.
You have IittIe to Iose
from pubIic humiIiation.
I, on the other hand, have a future.
In eight years,
I graduate from Harvard Law
and begin cIerkship with CIarence Thomas.
OnIy someone with the highest dignity
wiII be considered.
Yeah, or a reaI tight butt.
Either way, I'm in pretty good shape.
So, CarIton, what?
You want me to beg? Is that it?
I'm not sure.
Try and we'II see.
Okay.
I beg you to remember
Iast Saturday night
when you got home around 10:00 and
your drawers ain't get here
tiII the next morning.
Let the games begin.
In five, four, three, two.
Ladies and gentIemen, Bob Eubanks!
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
HeIIo, everybody.
Thank you.
And weIcome back to another edition of
Double Trouble!
AII right, Iet's jump right into it
and meet our first team.
This guy Iikes music, basketbaII, and girIs,
and not necessariIy in that order.
He's a native of PhiIadeIphia,
PennsyIvania.
WeIcome WiII Smith!
WiII's partner is BeI-Air, CaIifornia,
born and bred.
He's a fan of Tom Jones
mutuaI funds, and capitaI punishment.
Say heIIo to CarIton Banks.
WiII and CarIton, nice to have you with us.
Okay, Iet's meet their opponents now.
This feIIow says he's into frozen pizza,
Laverne & Shirley reruns
and I want you to meet
LA's oIdest 10th grader
his name is Tyriq Johnson!
Tyriq's partner is a brain surgeon
who stiII finds time
to date the saIubrious Whitney Houston.
Let's have a warm
Double Trouble weIcome
for Dr.
Jazzy Jeff
M.
D.
, Ph.
D.
, and O.
P.
P.
What the heII are they doing here?
And how Iong
has he been dating Whitney Houston?
Okay, here's how we pIay Double Trouble.
Contestants win points
for answering trivia questions.
Now, at the end of the question round
the contestants compete
in a physicaI stunt.
Hey, and audience, what kind of stunts
do we have here on Double Trouble?
Stupid!
That's right, so sit tight.
We'II be right back in just a moment
with our first round.
And we're cIear.
Hey, feIIas, it worked out perfect, right?
We aII got to be on the show!
Have we met?
Or am I too stupid to remember?
Jazz, I think that's
that backstabbing Smith boy.
Time to breathe again.
It's Iike that? WeII, Iook,
at Ieast one of us wiII win the car
and when I do, you guys can grab a bus
and meet me at the beach.
Come on.
PIaces.
Three, two.
Okay, it's time for the trivia round
and here's our first question.
Everybody ready? Here we go.
''What famous cartoon character
''soared to fame on his oversized ears?''
-CarIton.
-That's an easy one, Bob.
The beIoved pachyderm in question
won our young hearts
by turning a handicap into--
I'm sorry.
Time is up.
Let's go to your opponents.
Answer, dumbo.
Dumbo's the correct answer.
You got that for 100 points.
Okay, here we go again.
Hands on your buzzers.
Next question, teII me:
''What is the capitaI of Ohio?''
-Tyriq?
-That wouId be the capitaI ''O,'' Bob.
''O?''
Yeah, that's right, Bob, Ohio.
You know, capitaI ''O,'' IittIe ''h''.
Do I have to speII the whoIe thing?
I guess I didn't say ''capitaI city.
''
I'II have to get a ruIing from our judges.
Judges, what do you say?
Sounds Iike the judges
are accepting that answer.
Sounds Iike the judges drank their Iunch.
Okay, Tyriq and Jazz, you're weII out
in front, you've got 200 points.
It's time now for our finaI question
of the round, and here it is.
'''The rain in Spain stays mainIy,' where?''
CarIton.
ActuaIIy, Bob, the rainfaII
in the Pyrenees Mountains of Spain
-faIIs at a whopping--
-''In the pIains,'' Bob!
''In the pIains.
'' Yes, that's right.
You got it for 100 points.
Okay, that concIudes our question round.
I want you to sit tight
and find out what kind of a fine mess
these foIks have gotten themseIves into
when we come back for our stunt round
on Double Trouble.
We'II be right back for that.
And weIcome back.
WeII, we've cooked up
a reaI doozy this time, foIks.
So Iet's get our contestants out here
right now.
Come on, guys.
Okay, contestants,
now you know what you have to do.
You have a minute-and-a-haIf to do it.
So I want you to get on your bicycIes
and act stupid.
Now it's time for the finaI round
of Double Trouble
and Iet's find out just how weII
our contestants know their partners.
And here's how it works.
WhiIe WiII and Jazz
are in the soundproof booth
we're gonna ask their partners
a question about them.
So, WiII and Jazz, if you wouId pIease
take your pIaces in our soundproof booth.
Wait.
That joint ain't gonna fiII up
with water or nothing, Bob, is it?
Not this week.
Go ahead.
AII right now, CarIton and Tyriq,
here's your question.
If your partner couId name
onIy one person as his best friend
who wouId that speciaI person be?
Now you have untiI the buzzer sounds
to think about it.
Time is up.
AII right, CarIton, Iet's hear your answer.
WeII, Bob, Iet's back it up for a moment
and define this thing caIIed friendship.
You see, the ancient Mayans--
CarIton, your time is up.
Okay, Tyriq
who is Jazz's best friend?
I'm sorry, Bob, this is a bad time.
AII I gotta do is
answer a coupIe questions
and Iet my partner
squirt some stuff at me.
Sorry.
l guess you're reading
something really good.
Wasn't Jim Swaggart.
Wasn't Jimmy Swaggart arrested for that?
Great Iine reading.
l tried.
What? No.
Yeah, l'm fine.
Just let me.
Okay, l'm fine.