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Whenever I think of ***, it sort of reminds me of, like,
a warm sunny meadow with a bunch of daisies and ***.
And I kinda sort of kind of got the sunny meadow part, but...
not seeing any daisies.
The number one thing that you all emailed me about
so often, all the time, every single day:
not being able to ***.
The ones who are emailing me about this
are the people with a vajay,
and I think there are a few reasons for this.
One is that when it comes to people with vajays,
we don't really talk about pleasure.
Two, in the event that we do talk about pleasure,
it's not really accurate...
For instance, a lot of people believe
that you *** from your ***.
Three: it's not quite as intuitive.
If you have a ***, it just sort of like,
booom! There it is.
If you don't have a ***,
you kinda gotta be a little more deliberate about it,
get all up in there,
and that is also sort of stigmatized
and considered a shameful thing to do.
It's so sad, because, orgasms...
No, don't need to have an *** to have great sex,
but let's be real, orgasms are amazing.
And everyone should be having them
if they wanna be having them.
I'm such a baby about the cold.
Are you ready for this, tree?
Just like a *** fills with blood and gets hard
before *** or *** happens,
so too does the *** and the ***, which is on the inside,
need to become aroused, erect and filled with blood.
It gets a little bit puffier,
the *** becomes more sensitive.
Everyone needs a different amount of time to become aroused.
Physical signs that you are aroused:
you have like a flush one your face,
a flush on your chest,
them nipples get hard,
these get a little bit lubricated...
Just like *** through a *** takes repetition...
God... My life... my life...
so does an *** if you have a ***.
Repetition is just generally on the ***,
which is the same body part as the *** in utero.
And then, once you hit a certain point of arousal,
that's plateau,
and when you keep going, when you continue stimulation,
then you ***.
That's when you're like: "Holy shitballs!"
You feel a release, you feel satisfied,
and you start to come back down.
OK, I had to move.
Out of the whole freaking woods,
Creepy McCreeperson decides: "Hey,
I think I'll set up camp five feet away
from the girl talking about ***."
Can you not?
Like I said before, the *** is the most common way
that people who have vaginas are gonna ***.
Make sure you're finding a way to stimulate the ***.
Make sure you're utilizing all of your body,
it's not just your genitals that can get you feelin' sexy.
No...
There's *** and necks and ears and scalps and thighs...
There are so many places that you may really like
that you haven't discovered yet.
Also, when you're in a state of arousal
and you feel yourself getting there,
it might help to push you over,
to just focus, let everything go quiet,
and just pay attention to how good it feels,
get in that moment.
Think about things that turn you on a lot,
and continue the repetition, continue it, continue it!
That is, uh... effective!
It is my personal philosophy that
people need to figure it out on their own first,
so... ***!
A lot of people say they're really uncomfortable
and they don't like the idea of touching themselves.
My guess is that if you're scared to touch yourself,
your mind is not in the ideal comfort zone to be orgasming.
You know, you're feeling guilty,
feeling uncomfortable, embarrassed...
We internalize a lot of the negative messages about sexuality,
it makes it a lot harder to get to that place
where you're really, really having a good time.
This might be one way for you to push yourself
and to become more comfortable with your body
and to become more comfortable with your sexuality.
It does help to sort of start thinking critically
about the ways that you feel about sexuality
and to be talking about it with your partner.
Talk about pleasure, talk about boundaries,
get to a place where you feel really safe and comfortable.
Stress can make it harder to ***.
Not just stress in everyday life,
but it's also stress about orgasming!
That puts pressure on you,
that puts pressure on your partner,
makes sex less enjoyable,
and it won't happen that way.
Coming to *** is really part of a *** journey.
So what I'm saying is
take a *** quest.
We're all so different, and our needs are also different,
and our desires...
At the end of the day, enjoy yourself.
Figure out what that means for you.
That's not just orgasms, that's...
That's life.
Alright y'all, good luck!
I'll see you next time.
Special thanks for transcript: clariola and Electrolemming
