Special Monsters in The Night - 2014

Oh, man, thank you, pretty!, but bring me another one, my little rat... that my company pays! I bring you a poison right now. Bring me whatever you want, honey!, that there is no hotties like you in my village! Good morning from Adra with love, I am Zutano Mengano reporter of You are a loser tv! Our intention is to interview the infamous horror film director Jarrett Mortem, located in the city to shoot his latest film with Chu Man Fu, his screenwriter, Arkadiy Bellacovich, his cameraman, and Kopf Kinder, his favorite extra. He is going to work for first time with renowned actor from westerns Johnie Star and the... versatile adult film actress Jollie Golden. Newcomers from Hollywood, California! Without further dilation, join me to intimate with such interesting cult figures. But do not forget to enjoy the show while savoring a delicious yuck *** burrito! Please!, The interview!, Mister Mortem... You must know that yesterday was beginning of filming party. Yes, do not be a pain in my ***. ***!, My head is spinning... Mara!, Give me a hand! Oh, Jarrett!, What would you do without me? Thanks, girly, what a creme-babe you are! Jarrett, 'cause your ego is more than golden let's move directly to embarrassing questions. Shoot, watermelon. Is it true that you include subliminal images in your films? Drivel, trickeries, false rumors. I am a craftsman, a dream maker. My audience has entrusted their hearts to me... I would never play with their minds. Mister Mortem!, Mister Mortem! It is rumored that you fired your script girl. Jarrett, we must repeat, we have crossed the line. Concentrate on the script, leave me. Not at all, she left cause she found a job in a circus, she always wanted to be a freak in the most classic sense of the word. So finally her dream has been fulfilled, she already travels way to Prussia, touring with her new troupe. We miss her, but we'll manage. I'm sure of it. Holy ***, Tha Sheriff! I'm glad you're still alive, into my arms, dude! Careful, lad, if you don't want to end up headlong into the trough, wet and smelling like horse nose. Jollie! Dumpling, love jam... nice to meet you in person. It's all an ***. I'm with you at once, guys, just wait till I end this crappy interview. Jarrett, tell us, what's your reason to create movies, what kind of feelings are expressed in your films? I see this question tugs your heartstrings, huh? I make films to show what I enjoy, scraps, offal and ***. Actually I try to put the seed of kindness in all the stories I tell... Arg!! No, it's a lie! My only goal is to transmit to the audience all the dirt that holds my black heart. Although perhaps my script writer has something to contribute. Jarrett and Chu Man Fu be good friends, they meet at his journey in China long time ago. People be ungrateful and want Chu Man Fu's head as emperor. Mortem fascinated with real atrocities and chinese tales that Chu Man Fu know, so help him escape to Europe and employ Chu Man Fu. I thank the gods for the opportunity that give to Chu Man Fu, now only want to tell... ...beautiful stories to enlighten infants, they be the future. Mister Mortem, the maximum time is running out and I don't know how you plan to win the contest of Adra with this ***! It's like punching a gnome!, with the teaser of my upcoming release my superior talent will be patent! Quiet, child, don't be afraid... I'm gonna protect you. Look Johnie, that man is like a raisin! Relax, it's the mummy of Ramon Ra, deader than Jarrett's future, won't do anything to bother you. Noooooo!! Yuck! Well, poppet, I am happy to entertain your guts. Thanks... It has been a pleasure, a black lagoon, a cone, a rocket... For You are a loser tv, Zutana Fulana... Please no more...! Come on! Look, look, it's a mermaid! (The Mermaid sings horribly out of tune) (Puke time!) You love me, I'm your great idol, your guru, your god! When you awake from this dream... you will worship my creation as a great masterpiece... Special Monsters in the Night!! (Diabolic laughter)