New Tricks S5E2 - English Transcript

ALARM BLEEPS RADIO: Raised by 0. 5%, more than expected. Shares in the Far East followed Wall Street over night and rose sharply. Attention will now focus on the opening of the London Market. The Federal Reserve's move has raised hopes of a cut in UK interest rates. Here's our economics editor, Evan Davis. Morning, Brian. Morning, Gerry. THEY GRUNT Good morning, Sandra, how are you today? Why, I'm absolutely ***-a-hoop. Thank you very much for asking(!) Good morning. Good morning, Sandra. Look. I know you miss Jack, so do I. But he'll be back. He just feels let down and you can't blame him for that. No. You can blame me. Stop it, Brian. If I hadn't gone to pieces. When I stood up in that court in front of all those people and completely lost the plot. No, if anyone's to blame it's me. I mean that business with Emily made us look a right bunch of mugs. It was the system that failed him, not his friends. And he knows that. Yeah, I suppose she's right. I mean he wouldn't want to see us like this, would he? He'd want us to, you know, carry on. Bloody hell, Brian. He's not dead! Have you not got anything you want to say to me? It's all right, it's OK Doesn't really matter if you're old and grey It's all right, I say it's OK Listen to what I say It's all right, doing fine Doesn't really matter if the sun don't shine It's all right, I say it's OK Gettin' to the end of the day. Good morning, Sandra. Good morning, sir. Happy birthday. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. She's the ex-soap actress. Used to Excellent. Well, thanks very much. That's very kind of you. No, no, no. It's not a present, it's a case. Oh, right. I've got two others for your team. Look, Sandra, God knows, everyone feels terrible about what happened to Jack. Hanson should never have walked. But at the end of the day you can not ignore Jack's subsequent behaviour. He can't just take time off without clearing it. Whatever the circumstances. No room for sentimentality, eh? No, there's no room for unprofessionalism in any of your team. I've no doubt. Anyway, it would be good to give them the distraction. Oh, sir Um, about my birthday I think the boys have forgotten. And, um, I'd rather it stayed that way. Yeah, of course. Got any plans to celebrate? No. KNOCK AT DOOR Come in. Sorry. I had to take a call. Hello. Hello. I'd like you to meet my nephew, James Strickland. James is a recruit on the High Potential Development Scheme for graduates. The what? It's like a fast track scheme. Fast track to where? Well, the top. Er, not quite, James. Michael Austin. Not that actor bloke who was shot dead live on stage? March 13th, 1992. Wimbledon Theatre. Correct. At the opening performance of Death At The Masked Ball. Michael Austin was co-starring with his wife, Helen Brownlow. Now towards the end of the play, Michael's Austin's character, the butler, is shot and killed by the lady of the house, Miss Swathe, played by Helen Brownlow. Now when Helen fired the shot during the big performance, the force from the blank discharged a killing Michael Austin instantly. Now this biography of Michael by his daughter, Catherine, is about to go on sale. If you turn to page 101, you'll see what all the fuss is about. "Dear Michael, oops, *** you're dead. BM. " BM? Billy Morley, allegedly. He, Austin and Brownlow were starring in the production. If you turn the page. He's a smug looking ***, let's get him in for questioning. We can't. He died as a result of Parkinson's in 1995. Was he a suspect at the time? No. No-one was. The incident was seen as a tragic accident, the assumption being that the gun hadn't been checked properly. Now the stage manager, one Derek Bennett, swore that the gun was fine when he checked it. But it came out that he was a chronic alcoholic whose judgement was likely to have been impaired. And someone had to take the fall so he served two years for manslaughter. Bit harsh. Where's the original letter? We had it subpoenaed from the publishers, Royal and Brown. Forensics are trying to eliminate anyone who may have touched the letter since Miss Austin found it. She had the foresight to seal it in zip-locked plastic Which should give us a good chance of establishing whether or not it's genuine. Yeah, but hold on. sets of prints on the gun, Helen Brownlow and the stage manager. So, even if the letter was real and we can prove that this Morley bloke wrote it, we can't hook him up to the shooting without any prints. So the best we've got is charging one dead old geezer for threatening another dead old geezer! What's the point in that? This letter is new evidence, Gerry, so we are going to examine it. OK, we'll start with getting Catherine Austin's fingerprints. Yeah, and her agent, Mel Simons. He sent the letter to the book's publishers. Now, I want you to give the samples to James here. As part of his induction, he's going fingerprints and forensics. I'm at your service. Does that go for all of us? Yeah, of course. Terrific. I'll have a tea with two sugars. You're Gerry Standing, aren't you? Good luck. So what was Billy Morley giving? Eh? What character was he playing? Mr Swathe. Helen's husband. Giving? Yeah, it's an old theatrical term. Oh, I can't stand the theatre. You brilliant teacher Mr Higginbottom. He used to be passionate about Shakespeare. Used to get us to read it in class. I mean, out loud. He'd say, "Come on, lads, in your own accents, give it welly. " We'd do Hamlet and King Lear and Midsummer Night's Dream. We were all enraptured. It was quite magical. Then we got taken to the student production one of my favourites, Julius Caesar. Oh, what a let down. Dreadful. Hmm, bunch of middle-class prats pouncing around in togas putting on these plummy accents for an audience of other middle-class prats. You know what I mean, Gerry? Oh, absolutely. Total load of gaff. Bloody hell. I hate London. Ah, it's nice to come up West. See the sights. It's not a day trip, Gerry. us rubbing shoulders with the stars. She's more than likely incredibly but is not, and I repeat not to be treated differently from any other member of the public. I was 17 when I saw my dad die. Were you in the audience? Yeah, 'course, it was the opening night. Oh, well, that must have been pretty traumatic. Yeah, too right it was. Can you tell us about the letter? That *** Billy Morley sent it. You are saying that then, cos it's just that in the book We don't accuse anyone. We just invite the reader to draw their own conclusions. The implication is clear. Bordering on libellous even. It's been checked by a legal team. How did you get the letter? I borrowed a box of props from Death At The Masked Ball for research purposes. The letter was in there. And when was that? About 18 months ago. The book was only ever supposed to be about me and my dad and about being on telly and all of that. I never expected to find evidence that Billy Morley murdered him. Miss Austin, as suspicious as the letter is, it doesn't actually prove anything. What? Are you serious? His initials are on it! My dad hated him. It was no real surprise when he went all out to steal his wife. Helen Brownlow. The black widow. But Billy and Helen had an affair? She was all over Billy like a rash, had him twisted round her finger. You know she called him and my dad "my two boys". How did your dad feel about that? How do you think? I just wanted to make him proud. I don't expect you to understand. No, I do, as it happens. My dear fellow, as I have stated on numerous occasions, I have not spoken to her since he walked out of rehabilitation and therefore I have absolutely no comment to make and indeed it would be quite improper of me to do so. Yes. Yes, you can print that. Yes, feel free as a bird. I'm so terribly sorry, Mr, er Lane. Brian Lane. Mel Simons. How do? Do you know, I seem to spend the vast majority of my life with a red hot receiver pressed to my ear. I've got a sex scandal to sweep under the carpet and an actress in an African slum demanding a bigger Winnebago and a macrobiotic diet. Have you been offered a hot beverage? Because I can only imagine the thirst one must acquire while engaged in detection. I'm fine, thank you. I like to keep a very close eye on my body temperature. You're so right, dear Brian. Because after all, we are only given one vessel to inhabit. I know you are here to make an indelible impression of my, of my digits? Yes, we need to check them against any we find on the letter. Yeah, well, anything I can do to uncover what really happened to Michael. Your right hand first, please. Now, just relax it. So, am I to take it you don't believe it was an accident? Well, there, I think the letter rather implies the opposite, don't you? Do you believe it might have been sent by Billy Morley? It makes absolute sense in retrospect. The man was a complete horror. He made poor Michael's existence a living hell. You knew them both? I know everyone, Mr Lane. And besides, Michael was a client of mine and a dear, dear friend. I told him not to take the role in The Masked Ball. Oh, why? It was too much, the three of them working together again. Michael, Billy and Helen? Unhealthy. Anyway, it was a shockingly bad script. More claptrap than Mousetrap. PHONE RINGS Mel Simons. Oh, my favourite Dame. Trouble is, we're dealing with professional liars. Well, that's what they do for a living. Bloody actors. How are we supposed to know when they're telling the truth? They're a weird bunch, mate. I hope to God that woman hasn't got a slappable face. That was Helen Brownlow's agent. A Tiffany Barker, no less. She's just granted me an audience with the grand dame of ***, who is in Richmond about to reprise the role of the killer, would you believe? What? Same play? Same play. Same part. Aye up. We're on. Wimbledon Theatre. I've just pulled up a list of current employees. There you are. Derek Bennett. The Derek Bennett? Stage manager? Very same. Only now he's head of building maintenance. of the crime. It's a bit weird, but it's not an offence. Oh, here we go. The saviour of the Metropolitan Police force. Oh! Ah! Sorry, let me just Excuse me just Come here before Detective Superintendent Pullman nicks you for wasting police time. What's the story, James? I've got good news. What, they've lifted the smoking ban or you're being fast tracked back to Hendon? No, Billy Morley was arrested for possession of cannabis in But they're not a match to any of the samples taken from the letter. Seven of the samples taken from the letter have been identified. Three of them were from staff from the book's publishers. So we aren't interested in those. Ah, Mel Simons and Catherine Austin. These are the samples that you took earlier today. Whose are the other two? Derek Bennett and Helen Brownlow. Both sets of prints are on file from the original investigation. Both are a perfect match, leaving only one set of unidentified prints. Have you dated the letter itself? Forensics say the paper dates from around the time of the production. Looks like it's genuine. Good. OK. Right. Um, first things first. We need to find out why Bennett and Brownlow's prints are on the letter. Hold on. What about Billy Morley? He's the only one with a motive. Yeah, you go and see his wife, Jane. She's another bloody actress. Find out what she thinks went on between Billy and Helen and I'll get Helen's side of the story. Brian, you take Derek Bennett. OK, start of the second act. Um, ma'am. Detective Superintendent. Yes. Tonight. Um, I was just wondering. WellI could take you out for dinner, if you liked? Uh, well I don't Just to talk, you know, about work. I mean there's lots of things I'd like to ask you about your work. "About your work!" THEY LAUGH I'll show you how to work. Sorry, James. Bye-bye, James. Hey, Sandra, you know romance in the work place is very frowned upon. Don't be stupid, it wasn't like he was asking me out on a date. Anyway, I said no. Why, did the restaurant not have a creche? Actually, if you must know, there was a very good reason why he asked me out tonight. I can think of two! Christ, you're like a pair of kids. Grow up. Oh, we're just having a joke. Yeah, at my expense. The hilarity is limitless. Ooh! HE LAUGHS Mark Anthony's speech to the crowd. Julius Caesar, act two - act three, scene two. Sorry. CLEARS HIS THROAT Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them. The good is oft interred with their bones. So let it be with Caesar. (Noble Brutus) The noble! Sorry. If you don't mind, I'd like to start again. It's nothing like I did in the mirror this morning. Sure it wasn't. That'll do, thank you. Why don't you use your own voice more? You've got that lovely Northern He wouldn't let me! Friends, Roman's, countrymen, lend me your ears. I come to bury Caesar not to praise him. Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me. Who are you? Brian. Brian Lane. You're not on my sheet. No. No, I wouldn't be. Certainly do. Known it since I were 12-year-old. lend me your ears. I come to bury Caesar not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them. The good is oft interred with their bones, so let it be with Caesar. What cause withholds you then to mourn for him? Oh, judgement, thou art fled to brutish beasts, and men have lost their reason! Bear with me. My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, And I must pause till it come back to me. HE SNIFFLES Sorry, I was back in Hadley Grammar School there for a minute. That was great. Loved what you did with the regional accent. Thanks very much. No. Thank you. Um, listen, Brian. I know you're not on my list, There could be some smaller roles if you fancied having a crack at it. Think about it and we'll call you. Derek, Derek Bennett? Yeah. Excuse me. So, tell me about your husband, Mrs Morley. He died in 1995. Yeah, so I understand. Sorry. Don't be. You didn't kill him. God knows I'm not. Would you like tea? Or something stronger? Well, strictly speaking I'm on duty. Strictly speaking, you're not actually a policeman, are you? No. I cannot go out on that stage and pretend everything's OK. Helen, you are a wonderful actress. It would be the performance of a lifetime and if anyone can do it, you can. Let's give it one more go, yes? "There is a knock at the door. "Sarah raises an eyebrow. " Hello, Inspector, please come in. Detective Superintendent, actually. Tiffany Barker. How do you do? This is my client. I'm Helen Brownlow. A very nice malt, Mrs Morley. Miss Morley. Thank my husband. He was a connoisseur? No. A rich alcoholic. And now possibly a murderer too. Life just gets better and better. I'd like to ask you to think back. Not to last weekend, I hope? I was at a very naughty party. No, a little further than that. You mean to Michael's death, don't you? How did Billy react? Remember that film about the And Drew Barrymore gives it a geranium. And when he dies, the geranium wilts. Well, that's what happened to Billy. His flower drooped. How do you mean? Michael and Billy were two sides of the same coin, sweetheart. It was no coincidence they Went up for all the same jobs. It had always been that way, since RADA. But it was as if one couldn't exist without the other. They were obsessed. In fact, if I didn't know first hand Billy was a womanising pig, I'd imply an undertone of ***-eroticism. But what about Billy and Helen? What, did he *** her? You'd have to ask her that. Billy was in love with her. Everyone was, but, when Michael died, it was like part of him died. Yin lost its Yang. After that, Billy's spirit was gone. He had no fight in him. He got very ill, very quickly. Another? Catherine Austin is a busy little madam with ideas above her station. What's she done since Home County? Eaten crocodile *** in the jungle, that's what. She's not a proper actress. She's only worked because of you and Michael. Have you spoken to her? I mean about all this? Yes. Of course. Have you? She hasn't spoken to me for 16 years. I shot her father dead. By accident, I must stress. for me to put my life back together. Just as I have, here she is with her book and that ridiculous letter. You are aware that we've begun legal proceedings? What do you think this is? No, I mean proper legal action. With lawyers and money. Miss Brownlow, I'd like you to explain why we found several samples of your fingerprints on the letter. I have absolutely no idea. It's a fake. There's no way in the world . . You are really beginning to *** me off. I've come here to speak to Miss Brownlow, not you. Could you leave us alone, please? I'm sorry? Something the matter? No. No. No. It's just that uh Well, yes. Yes, I do recognise it after all. The motif on the watermark is quite unmistakable. You can't see it in Catherine's book, see? So, you know its origin? Yeah, without a shadow of a doubt, that sheet of paper came from a pad that we used in the play and it was under my jurisdiction at all times. But why would your prints be on this particular sheet? Well, the last thing actors need is any kind of distraction. So before every rehearsal I would pull and tug every sheet of that pad to make sure that we weren't going to be upstaged by any rogue sheet of bloody A4. So my prints will be on every single page of it. Attention to detail, Mr Lane. Something I expect you understand in your line of work. What about during the play? Who would handle it then? Helen Brownlow? Oh, absolutely. Literally hundreds of times. See, we rehearsed for six weeks in total and I had virtually every prop from day one. Who else? Well, um Helen's character, Miss Swathe, writes a note in it and gives it to the butler. Played by Michael Austin. Yeah. Yeah. Who then delivers it to the Earl Of Heaton. Played by? Tommy Jackson. Not a fan? There's a certain breed of actor, Mr Lane, who have more confidence than talent. Driven, selfish, capable of being quite ruthless. Tommy is, and always was, one of them. And yes, he would have handled the pad. I don't suppose you know where it is now? 'Course I do. It's in that box. With all the other things Catherine borrowed. Do you really believe it was Billy? Well, that's what I'm here to find out. Am I to take it you don't? A secret of a great performance is not to act, but to react. To take that first impulse, and bring it to life. In the moment. My husband did just that. He was a very gifted actor. That's what first drew me to him. Talent is hugely attractive, you know. Tell me about your relationship with Billy Morley. We didn't have a relationship. Are you implying something, Detective Superintendent? It's been suggested that Billy was in love with you. That it may have been mutual. That's just a lie. Catherine Austin remembers her father in an idealistic way and creates a false reality to go with it. I've skimmed the book. It's a wonderful piece of fiction. You must remember she was a child, he was a man who wanted to protect his daughter from things she wouldn't have wanted to see. Such as? Nobody's perfect. Are they? How were things between Michael and Billy during the production? Fine. Catherine seems convinced that they hated each other. Actually no. Despite their differences, they were both consummate professionals. What was Michael's mood during rehearsals? Fine. He didn't seem troubled? No. And he never mentioned being threatened? No. And did you see the letter? Not until I read it in that comic book, no. Detective Superintendent, I have a technical rehearsal in 15 minutes. I think I have been more than generous with my time and my cooperation. Don't you? Yes. Would you ask Tiffany to come back in, please? I'm um I'm sorry to open old wounds. Well, they never healed, Detective Superintendent. The gun was kept in a locked box in the props room. When was the box opened? Five minutes before it was due to be used. During act two, scene three, I would set it on this table here and then went to join Michael, who was waiting to make his entrance. He's the mop and bucket? Correct. Right, so he stood there in the wings? Yes. See, he was fitted with a small explosive charge that was connected to a little blood pack on his chest that he had to detonate when Helen fired the gun. So, I checked to see that it was rigged properly. So the gun was left unattended during this time? Yes, but it was only just there. I imagine it was dark in the wings, the lights were down, people were dressed in black? Correct. So where was Billy Morley at this point? He was on stage. He's the Greek column. Right, so then what happened? Well, Michael and I watched the first half of Helen's Which one was Helen again? She's the fig tree. So who else was backstage? The assistant stage managers, a couple of technicians. No cast? No. No, they were all on stage. Apart from Tommy Jackson, who was on the other side of the stage in the opposite wings. You could see his Benson and Hedges bobbing about. So when did Helen pick up the gun? A few lines before the end of the scene, she would excuse herself from the dinner table and leave for her secret rendezvous with the Earl of Heaton, who had just crossed the stage. Whilst on her way, she picks up the gun, sweeps around the back of the stage ready for her scene with Michael. Now, Derek how can you be so sure that your memories are that clear? You know, unclouded? You get used to working pissed. I was in complete control. Anyway, I haven't had a drink in 16 years. I checked that gun at least three times. It was left unattended for less than two minutes. If that was negligence, then I was guilty. There's no way that Billy Morley could have tampered with that gun. The letter came from within the theatre itself. No, we shouldn't waste our time with that. This "feud" was more like a bizarre friendship and if Billy and Helen were at it, we'd know by now. There are no secrets at a theatre, everyone knows everyone's business. Billy's prints aren't on the letter and were never on the gun. And why would he leave his initials? So are we looking for somebody who hated Austin enough to want him dead Tommy Jackson. Peacemaker? Eh? You remember The Peacemaker in the '90s? The TV detective! Woah, the dog's ***. That's what Derek Bennett said. Yeah. Tommy was the young star attraction of the show. There was a lot of bad blood apparently. Well, the theatre's a breeding ground for egos, in't it? It's notorious for it. Anyway, I've tracked him down. This week he's working in Woking. Easy for you to say. We'll go and see him tomorrow. Can I show you something? Only if she shows you hers! Ignore him. Just got the typeface analysis back from forensics. Check this *** out ma'am. Look, the B and the M in the words "***" and "MICHAEL" do not match the initials at the bottom of the page. So these were added later? Most likely, yeah. Then we're talking about two typewriters. OK, cheers. Oh, James. Um, dinner tonight. That would be lovely, thank you. So, you heard. Two typewriters means Billy Morley was framed. You're not really going out with that wet weekend? Just fancied some adult male company. Besides, who wants to be alone on their birthday? Oh, for You should have seen me, Esther, I got quite emotional. I bet you were majestic. The director said I was great. I felt so free. I'm really pleased you've got this new found interest in the theatre. Yeah, I've got to get cracking, though. Learn all about the craft, the language of the theatre. Maybe at last we've got something that we can do together. You know, going out, seeing plays. No, no, no. I'm talking about me, me studying to become an actor. A professional actor. Have you told the others about your umcareer change? No, no. I don't want to say anything just yet. SHE STIFLES A LAUGH Hi, Jack, it's Sandra. Just wanted you to know that I've been thinking of you and that's it, really. OK, hope to see you soon. Take care. Bye. Thank you. So, tell me about you. What do you mean? Well, tell me about you. Um, what did you study? Media studies. Oh, right. And then you joined the Met? You can have any degree to get on to the High Potential Development Scheme, it doesn't matter. I wanted a way in to forensics. So, what happened to your interest in, what was it? Television studies? I combined the two. Have you ever seen CSI? Uh-huh. And in the end, they found that out he died a thousand miles away all because of a dust mite the guy had in his eye socket! I know that some people think this is geeky and weird but I don't know. I think it's really exciting. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's certainly a fascinating discipline. And it's advancing all the time. There's this new thing they're testing at the moment, a way of analysing fingerprints that can tell you how old they are, and even the sex of the person. It's not officially approved or anything yet but the technology is in place. I want you to help me with this actor's trust exercise. Put that down. I want you to stand behind me. Put your hands up like that, hold your hands up like that, right behind me. And when I fall back, you'll catch me. Yeah? Trust exercise. OK? OK. Right. Right. THUD Oh! Thank you for dinner. It was a real pleasure. Bloody hell! Ahhhhhh. What typewriter? Act one, scene three. A Georgian study. Mr Swathe sits at a table. On the table, a cigar case and typewriter. Come on, Derek, attention to detail. Yeah. Yes, you're right. It should be stored with the rest of the stuff from the production. Could I have a quick look? Helen Browlow has disappeared! Any idea where she might have gone? None whatsoever. This is completely unheard of for Helen. Though I ought to have read the warning signs. You left Helen in a terrible state yesterday. I simply conducted an interview which your client was quite happy to give. What she has chosen to do since then has nothing to do with me. But if I'm being brutally honest, her timing looks appalling. I know! Tell me about it. The show bloody well goes up tonight! When the press get hold of this they'll have a field day and I'll make sure you and your team are hounded as much as my client. I'll give you a bell, if that's all right. ***. ***! What's the matter? Where's Brian? Dunno. Sandra Get out the way! Mr Jackson, I suppose you know why we're here? Course. I've had a squint at the book, I'm familiar with the case. So, er, what are we working with? Are we looking at ***? That's what we came to talk to you about. We'll ask the questions. So, go on, talk. We heard you were having problems with Michael Austin and Billy Morley. Handbags at ten bells. Nothing I couldn't handle. Though I see where you're going with your line of questioning. Yeah. Nice line of enquiry. I would have done exactly the same. Peacemaker ***. You do know you're not actually a copper, don't you? Do you? I was. Yeah, so was I, you muppet! I tell you what I'd have my team working on. Whether your suspect had sent the letter or not, to be involved in the actual killing they would've had to have tampered with the actual shooter. Well, Billy's got the Parky's by then, ain't he? I mean his hands are shaking like Bambi on the ice. There's no way he could have put that squib in the barrel of the gun. Check his meds. That ponce couldn't squash a grape in a fruit fight. So, you don't think Billy was involved? Nah. No way. Anyway, he's got three movies lined up after the run. I mean they are art house limited release, you know, low budget ***, but they're movies all the same. He's not gonna put all that at risk. So who else would want to threaten Michael Austin? Well, who wouldn't? The geezer was a right pain in the harris. I don't know how Helen put up with him for all them years always *** and moaning. What about? Everything. I never met a more self-centred geezer. What about Helen Brownlow? She's a good girl, great girl, Helen. Really? Really. Helen and Michael fought like cat and dog all the way through rehearsals. He was giving it all of that, effing and blinding. Couple of times it looked like Austin was going to mug off the whole gig. Such a bleeding drama queen. Anyway, I shall leave you to mull that over. I'm going for a slash. Ah, eh, ee, oh, ah! Ah, eh, ee, oh, ah, ah, ee, oh! Ah, eh, ee, oh, HA! Brian, you all right? Yeah. Yeah, fine, fine. Just exercising the organs of articulation. So, how was Tommy Jackson? Never meet your heroes. Ah, the missing typewriter? Yeah, James is on his way now to get it. Great(!) How was last night? Fine. So, no sign of Helen then? No. Well, what time do they go up? When does who go up where? No, what time does the show start? Another technical term? Gerry, you do seem to have quite an intimate knowledge of theatrical jargon. No, I just. Sorry? All right, then. When I was 18, I did a bit of work for a theatre company. Bloody hell! Oh, just a bit, you know! Well, I never had you figured for a thespian! He does like women! Exactly, and that's why I joined the Mile End Players. I cleaned up. Got hold of the leading lady, yeah, Sarah Clacy. Best looking bird in Bow. So were you an actor? No, I was a technician. Did a bit of lighting and stuff. Did you never try acting? Acting? I'd rather lick the back of a fridge. Hi, how is everyone? Is this the typewriter from the theatre? No. It's a kitten in a hat. You know, I hate to say it, but I think Tommy Jackson may be right. We can't prove anything. Anybody working at that theatre at that time would have had access to that typewriter. If this letter was sent to Michael Austin and he handled it, why aren't his prints on it? Because he never received it. Meaning? Catherine Austin has a book to sell. She's got her father up on a pedestal and an obvious grudge against Billy Morley. Now, Catherine reckons that she found the letter in the box at the props lock up where I found this typewriter. Derek Bennett says he left her in there on her own. Well, she could have written the letter herself and then put the typewriter back. You know, faked the whole thing to juice up her book. There's only one way to find out. Can I come? No, you can get that bloody typewriter to forensics. How long after you started writing the book did you discover the letter? A couple of weeks, two months. I'm not too sure. And you still maintain you found it in a store room near the Wimbledon Theatre? Yeah. Why? Well, here's my problem. At the time of your father's death, everything used in that production was gone through with a fine tooth comb. Then it was put into storage and remained there for 16 years. Catherine, do you own a typewriter? No, I don't. I use a computer. What are you saying? That I faked the letter? No, no, no. We're not saying anything. We're just asking you a few questions. Well, the answer is I don't know. I wish I'd never seen it. I wish I'd never agreed to write the bloody book in the first place. Agreed? Yeah. It wasn't my idea. Whose was it? Mel's. Mel Simons'. I wonder what that's like, Gerry. Performing when folks are watching you? You what? Acting. On stage with an audience. Oh, I wouldn't know. Wouldn't want to. Yeah, must be hard though. Nah, Sarah Clacy said its no big deal. No, she said all you've got to do is mean what you say. Look the other person in the eye. And don't trip over the furniture. But what if you're like me? You know. Like I was at Hanson's trial? Well, I suppose that's a bit like stage fright. It's psychological. She used to say you don't prepare too much, just breathe out and let it go. That's what she used to say anyway. Do you think Jack's coming back? Don't look good, does it? No. She's trying to hide it. Yeah. I know. Listen, tonight, why don't we take her out? Make amends for ballsing up her birthday. Yeah, OK. I'll give Jack a ring though. You never know. Helen Brownlow has resurfaced. Uniform found her wandering near the ponds on Hampstead Heath and they're pretty certain she was about to do something stupid. MOBILE RINGS Bloody hell. Yes, Detective Superintendent Pullman. Yup. OK. Right. No, James, I can't talk right now. Brian, I need you to get back to UCOS. I want you there when the typewriter results come in. How? There's a tube round the corner. I'm not travelling on the tube! Get a bus. Good God. I only went out to put things into perspective. I often do, this is ridiculous. I'm perfectly fine. And you don't have anything to tell us that you didn't before? Don't be absurd. Helen, how are you? How are you feeling now? I told you I'm perfectly all right. I'm focused. I know what must be done. The play will go on! Miss Brownlow, we have a witness who swears they heard a disturbance in your dressing room the night that Michael died. Some sort of fight. Oh, is it unusual for married couples to argue? Of course not. But you told me the opposite. You said that things were good between you and Michael. That's because generally they were. Yes, but Helen, this happened on the day he died. I just wonder why you didn't think it was worth mentioning. And what did you argue about that night? It was nothing. Well, we heard it happened all the time. That Michael was difficult to live with, disagreeable and high maintenance. You know nothing about my husband. Or our marriage. He was my best friend and I killed him. It should have been me. Helen. Please. Choose an animal to become. HE WHOOPS LIKE A CHIMP Brian. You're back. Where's Sandra? Detective Superintendent Pullman is out of the office. Are the results in? When will Sandra be back? About now. The results. Cheers. Ah, perfect match. Apart from the initials BM. Surprise, surprise. But at least we know that the main body of the letter was typed on that machine. Yeah. What we don't know is when. Catherine Austin, Billy Morley, Helen Brownlow, Derek Bennett, Tommy Jackson, maybe even Mel Simons. They've all had access to that typewriter and pad at some point. I'm more interested in the second typewriter and who added the initials. Who had access to the letter outside the theatre? Mel Simons and Derek Bennett. Do you remember that thing I was telling you about? The more detailed fingerprint analysis machine that can date test them? Yeah, vaguely. I used my uncle's name, got them Go on. Well, I got some very exciting results. Helen Brownlow, Tommy Jackson and Derek Bennett's prints date from '92 when the pad was in use during the play. Catherine Austin and Mel Simons both match up from the time they say they first discovered the letter in 2006. But. Butthere are anomalies. Both Derek Bennett and Mel Simons have left prints that predate that by about a year, 2005. So they're both lying about when they came into contact with it. Bingo! No, no, hang on. Wait a minute, didn't you say that this thing hadn't been approved yet? Yeah. So it's inadmissable as evidence. Yeah. But Simons and Bennett won't know that. Hey, now you're starting to talk like a proper copper! If it all goes *** up. I'll take the blame. That's very noble of you but I think you'll find that the blame will rest squarely on my shoulders. Bring them in. Four years ago, we were refurbishing the dressing rooms. We tore out an old wardrobe and it was just there. Must have been wedged there all those years. I couldn't believe it when I opened it and saw what it was. But it never had BM written on the bottom when I posted it. Posted it to who? Helen Brownlow. I sent it anonymously, care of her agent. Tiffany Barker? No, Mel Simons. And what happened after you posted the letter to Mr Simons? He rang me a year later, asked if Catherine Austin could come and look in the store room. I knew then that something had started. Yeah. The book. Derek, why didn't you just take it to the police? I was charged with manslaughter. How seriously would they have taken it? Look, whoever typed that letter tampered with that gun. I wanted Helen to see it. It was important that she knew it wasn't her fault. More important than What's going to happen now? I just hope that Mr Simons remembers it roughly the same way as you. There's nothing to tell. Really? That's interesting cos Tiffany Barker said she sacked you. Seemed to think it was quite acrimonious. Helen left my agency by mutual consent. There were some artistic differences. Yeah. You were in love with her and she wasn't with you. So, when the letter arrived in the post you saw a perfect opportunity to profit from the split and to exact some sort of revenge. Correct? I don't know what you're talking about. Whose idea was it to write the book in the first place, Mel? Catherine's, of course. That's not what she says. She's lying. Oh, come on, Mel. We both know that Catherine is something of a lost soul. She needs a guiding hand. That's where you come in. You gave it a whole year after the letter arrived though, before you arranged for her to borrow the stuff from the production. And then you slipped the letter in the box. Am I right? Prove it! Well, that's the beautiful thing, though, Mel. We absolutely can, cos your fingerprints tell their own story. Now, do we really need to go to all the trouble of getting a search warrant to turn over your home and your office just to find a typewriter that we all know is there somewhere? Catherine had been banging on for bloody years about writing her memoirs. Christ knows I tried to put her off. I mean, who the hell would buy that ***? I'd rather read a notice of my own death. She can barely talk, let alone write. And then when the letter fell into my lap You planted the seed of making the book more about her father. You waited a few weeks and ***, you slipped in the death threat. Potential bestseller. Ten out of ten, Miss Marple. But you make it sound so easy. I mean, my god, woman, I had to slip into that store room undetected like some geriatric cat burglar. Espionage isn't easy at my age but it is marvellous fun. Adding Billy Morley's initials must have been the icing on the cake, I presume? Give that man a cigar. Dead men can't fight back. One of the world's nice guys, aren't you, Mel? I'm an agent, you cretin. Is that a crime? No. Not in itself. But tampering with evidence is. So is perverting the course of justice, for that matter. Well, whatever else Mel Simons is guilty of, it certainly isn't rigging the gun. Not even producing the original letter. Plus there's no proof that Michael Austin ever received it. Or that the gun was ever actually tampered with. I rang Jack before, to see if he had any pearls of wisdom. So did I. Yeah. Me too. No answer. Nah. This is ridiculous. Where you going? To see Catherine Austin. Time we put this to bed. I couldn't agree more. I need to know what time I'm being picked up for Richard and Judy. DOORBELL RINGS Come in. Thank you. Thank you. Waste of bloody time. At least on this occasion we know the butler didn't do it. Bloody hell! What? Well, help me! What are we looking for? I don't know. Anything! Of course! What is it? Well, what if he did do it? Who? The butler! Look, in all these pictures, the butler, he's wearing gloves. He could have rigged the gun and typed the letter himself. Suicide! Yeah, planted the letter, to make it look like ***. Only for it not to be found. Where's that writing pad? Something's been written on I'll take it down to forensics. ***. Time for old-fashioned detective work, sunshine. I preferred Enter The Dragon. Sorry? Bruce Lee. Oh, right. I didn't really see either of them. That belonged to my father, his favourite film. Really? Cos most people think it was his worst, he didn't even finish it What? My dearest, darling, deceitful Helen Get that. PHONE RINGS Unsolved Crime and Open James? Put Brian on. He's a bit busy right now. Tell him I know what happened to Michael. So do we. It was an elaborate suicide, wasn't it? Tell Brian to meet me at Richmond Theatre. History might be about to repeat itself. No, you can't come! Helen committed the ultimate sin. So, she did sleep with Billy, after all? No. She told Michael that she thought Billy was the better actor of the two! You remember those films Billy was about to do? Well, Michael had been in contention for the same roles. When he found out that Billy got them, he flew into a rage and that's what they argued about that night, him and Helen. She told Michael that he should retire. That Billy deserved those roles more than him. He says in this she might as well have shot him through the heart. And then he made sure she did? Yeah. Then Michael wrote the suicide note and then typed the death threat. Which he left in the dressing room to try and create a mystery, a legend. Trouble is no-one ever saw it. I killed Oh, bloody hell! Stop! Police! Ah. Inspector. Do come in. I have an imprint of that letter. My dearest, darling, deceitful Helen I know the truth. Please. Put down the gun. Don't come any closer, Inspector. You can't blame yourself for what he did. I loved him. I killed him. No. He killed himself to torture you. And you're letting him win. One last victory. Do you know what it is to love and hate in equal measure? No, can't say I do. When I first met him he was so strong, so noble. But he became jealous of anyone who succeeded, of Billy or Tommy. The jealousy changed him, ate him up. And yet you stood by him? I didn't know he was going to kill himself! He always threatened to. I thought he loved himself far too much to actually go through with it. Give me the gun. Please. I destroyed the note. Not just for myself but for Catherine too. But the truth has a way of coming out, and as it did all those years ago so now it does again. I feel a bit sorry for her. She did let Derek Bennett serve two years for nothing. I still don't get how you knew. That Austin had rigged the gun himself? Bruce Lee. Eh? Bruce Lee. Catherine Austin had a poster of Game Of Death on her wall. She said it was Austin's favourite film. And? In the film, Lee plays an actor who fakes his own assassination. Get away. Yeah, and that's not all. Cos in real life, Lee actually died during filming. Exact circumstances are still a mystery but conspiracy theorists claim it was ***. Well, that is too much of a coincidence. Well, how come you know so much about Bruce Lee? It's like a finger pointing at the moon. Concentrate on the finger and you'll miss all that heavenly glory! Pub? Hello. Can we have a pint of bitter, dry white wine and a sparkling water, please? Thanks. I'm, uh, just going to give Esther a bell. Have you got 10p? Haven't you learnt your lesson? What? All the deceits, the agents, the love triangles. It's hardly going to go down well with Esther, is it? Thought I'd find you in here. What's that supposed to mean? Do you mind if I have a word? Seriously, mate, don't go there. I just wanted to say sorry. That's OK. Don't worry about it. Cheers, mate. Let me get these. Sure you can afford it? We don't want you running up your student loan. Oh, I assure you. This will be my pleasure. Mind how you go. Oi!