The License

[Phone rings in office] - Hi - Hi We're here to get our marriage license Oh, isn’t that nice? How long have you two been seeing each other? Two years. We finally decided that it’s time! Good for you. Oh, you do know that we passed that “Traditional Marriage” amendment, right? Yeah, but that doesn’t affect us. Okey Dokey. Well, Let me get your paperwork started. I'm gonna need your waist size, dear. My waist size? Yeah, I'm thinking you're about a 28? [Chuckles] 24! Yeah right This should fit you [Chains dropping on desk] What's this? It's a chastity belt, of course it chafes for the first few weeks. And here's your key Don't loose that, or you're gonna have a disappointing honey moon! [Chains sound] Ok, I am not locking myself into this thing! You need to check that attitude dear. It is “Love, honor, and obey.” Actually, that’s not the vow we’re using. Hah! Like you have a choice. Hey Judy! Is the mayor in? I have a great couple here that would like to get married. Ok, if you can fit them in. Thanks What’s the mayor got to do with this? And where are your goats? The what? The seven goats? You know the purchase price you’re giving her father? What? It's tradition. Wait a minute. I’m not buying her, she wants to get married Hey Edna. Is this the couple? - Aren’t they cute? - Hello sir. I’m Jim West. I’m a huge supporter! We both voted for you. Yeah, great. OK. Let’s do this. Hey! Hey! What are you doing? Oh, he’s just gonna deflower your bride, dear. What! Are you crazy! Well, it’s traditional for the local lord to have his way with every woman on her marriage night. [Woman screaming] That’s insane! Well, you wouldn’t want to go against tradition, now would you? I’m gonna be needing that bill of sale from her father. You should have recieved it when you delivered the goats. Bad news! The package was opened before Christmas. Oh, that’s such a shame. Hey people! code 4! code 4! Another one? Come one! The faster we get this over with, the faster we can get back to work. What’s happening? Well, we’re having a stoning of course. What! What are you talking about? We’re just doing what the Bible says. It’s in Leviticus here. [Woman screams] I’m sure you can find it. Something about... “any woman who’s not a *** on her marriage night shall be *** to death.” We set up an area for you right in the parking lot Now, did you bring your own rocks, or will you be needing one of ours? There you go. there's gonna be a small service charge for that.