Bear Witness to When Love is Not Enough

Bari and Bear here to bear witness on what comes up when love is not enough. I found myself very sad the last few days and I know that in part it's because I'm looking at what's going on inside of me and feeling the the pain of love not being enough and in recognizing that there's a sense sometimes of not hate it's not that love the lack of love always equals hate in fact there's such a range and in my view and what I see and feel is that there can be disappointment there can be a sense of abandonment there can be despair deep deep despair loneliness and how do we hold these emotions how do I hold them. Well the first thing that I do is I allow them to be there I recognize that they are a gift and as much as I don't want to feel the pain that will occasionally accompany those emotions I want to feel them for what they are and to honor the importance of feeling and and appreciating that these are a part of life and when we see things and we feel things and we know things like people crossing a crosswalk and having a car run a red light and run over your children and kill them. That's devastating - absolutely devastating for some people feeling what happened in Parkland at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school really wrenched them For me it was hearing about these women who were in a crosswalk walking in Brooklyn and a woman inexplicably drove into them it was possibly a medical event so how does the universe do that to humanity? Why are these things happening and then to ask these questions and then that can bring in a despair a questions and how could this be possible we work for love we want there to be compassion we want people to thrive. Why, why is there so much pain in our world today. And we can stay just in despair. We can turn it into thinking that things will never change.They won't get better. Or we can fear change and want just a hold on to whatever feels familiar. But these things happen and change comes it's the one in inevitable there is in life well that and death. So how do we live with the disappointment.How do I work with the feelings that I have for instance when I felt a huge loss when I separated from my wife and lost my tribe How hard that was. How do we recover from heartbreak? And there are a few really important ingredients. One is compassion. Having compassion for those emotions. Two, is finding a tribe and I'm very grateful for the tribe that I found in the program that I've been in. Since I lost my tribe in my community, and that was also heartbreaking, and it happens. So how do we move forward? How can we thrive again? We find people, we find people who can see us and to know us and love us because what we need is connection and what we need is compassion and what we need is love. Even when we feel like love isn't enough to keep us from feeling the pain. But there's persistence. There's compassion. There's bringing in these elements to bridge from one place to another. So that's Bari and Bear bearing witness on when love isn't enough. If you like anything here and you want to subscribe to the YouTube channel I invite you to. Come back and visit my website on the musings page and they will also be there. And comment. I'd love to hear your comments either on the YouTube page or write to me through the website. This is a journey and we're taking it together thank you