Freeman's Mind - Episode 36

[Subtitles by danielsangeo] Okay, I'm not too sure what's going on here, but that guy dropped his gun. And guns open up a wide world of opportunities. It has blood on it, but it's a glock... Blehk! As for you. Yeah... Sweet! I want more things to shoot! Besides this pile of rancid meat. Oh, that'll work. Okay, I don't think I've fired a gun before but shooting things feels very familiar. And I didn't even have that dream where I was Snoop Dogg again. Yeah, I don't know, I think I shot somebody last night. Maybe a bunch of people. Well, I'm sure they had it coming. But, if that's true, I may have screwed up WAY more than usual this time. I should watch my back. And what the hell are these things? Besides dead? Hm, I'm low on theories. I think maybe these are some carnivorous plant cross-breeds that the Biology Department was working on where the containment obviously failed. Kind of like Little Shop of Horrors. Except we're the Big Shop of Horrors! Okay, I am still lost. Well, I think that's making sense. Biology had an accident, the specimen spread, but how do I play into this? I was probably down there trying to hit on Heather again and maybe she just lost it and knocked me unconscious Then tried to dump my body because, let's face it, she's pretty stone cold. ***, they're back. Well, it didn't work, Heather! Now I have a gun! You can't stop the Freeman! [lock jiggles] Well, okay, I guess doors can stop the Freeman, but [lock jiggles] Damn. This kind of takes all the wind out of my image. Actually, I don't know if this was the Biology Department... Because, whatever those things are, they're animals. And we don't do a lot of engineering with animals. There's just not enough money in it. Wait, I'm going backwards. I don't know. I mean, there was that pollen we developed for Monsanto that would kill people. Everybody was really proud of that. I'm going to go out this way. Squeeze in here... Whoa-whoa! Augh.... Goat cheese massacre! That hurts my knees! This suit needs shock absorbers. And drugs. Why am I wearing this suit anyway? Did I steal it? I don't think I would've been THAT stupid. If Black Mesa reported it stolen, somehow I think the police would know to look for the last person who was wearing it. I couldn't have been trying to steal it. Why, this must be--! Yeah, I'm lost. So, if I'm wearing this suit, that must mean we had an experiment. Hey, we did do the experiment! I remember. ...sort of... There was lots of green. Okay, so we had the experiment. Then what happened? Oh, I know! Then I had to kill a bunch of COCKROACHES! Because I HATE THEM! ...want them all to DIE! STOP! Then, after that... [lock jiggles] I got depressed... And...okay, this is easy to figure out. Because, if the experiment was a success, I would've partied all night And got drunk off my *** and probably woke up in a Dumpster. But! I woke up sober and that sucks. So, that must mean the experiment was NOT a success. I probably got into some fights, then. Oh, man! This is where I just was! Ah well, it beats the desert. Plus, I have a gun! So, my prosperity is assured. Now, I just have to find someone and tell them I'm lost. If they laugh at me I point my gun at them. If they tell me they're too busy to talk I point my gun at them. It's really that simple. Okay, I don't think I've tried this giant pot-stirring room. I'm not sure what they're stirring, but I'm guessing anything luminescent and neon-green isn't very tasty. Okay, now if I hang down properly, this should work. Ah, much better. Now, I just need to learn to do that faster so I'll be ready when I come to work with the smoke bombs. Wait, which way is north? You're not north. But.... no.... Everyone here's a liar. I don't like liars. Christ, where am I?! This is just some chemical processing facility. I don't remember what I was planning to do today, but I'm sure this isn't it. Black Mesa is NOT a tourist trap. Of course! I've already been here. It's not just me! NO ONE should be here. No one comes to a half-abandoned warehouse unless they work there they're trying to film a low-budget horror movie, or they're a photographer taking *** black-and-white photos pretending to be artsy. That's it. And I'm going the wrong way again! I supposed I shouldn't expect the red carpet treatment breaking and entering into to the site of a chemical plant, but I still find the building layout confusing and I'll lodge a complaint with the administration if I find the front desk. Well, not this way. Oh, and I would also like to file a complaint about the number of locked doors here and about the mutant animals that appear to be eating people. Trespasser or not, I have rights and I'm entitled to a reasonable expectation of safety and comfort when I break into a place. This is America, after all! I need to get an attorney. This whole situation is completely unreasonable for someone of my stature. And there is-- Jesus Christ, this is the wrong way, too! Alright, I'm going to have to start thinking outside the box here. I should think less like a human being that uses doors and more like a squirrel that has anger problems. Besides, I think it's entirely possible I'm the first person to ever set foot here. My name will be in history books. Therefore, as these are new territories discovered by the Nation of Freeman any and all claims shall henceforth be named after me. Me! The official name of this monument will be...the... Freeman Industrial-Strength Mixer With Green Crap Inside of It. Hey, I think that's an entrance over there. That seems entirely worth the risk. Especially since I really don't know the contents of this. I mean, there's the possibility that this really is just a giant vat of gelatin and dye even though it doesn't smell like it... I mean, this is normal, what I'm doing, right? People do things like this all the time when they get locked out of their office. And.... Oh, wow. That thing could take my head off. Errragh! See, this is how you get promoted. What I'm doing right now, this is progress. I'm...sure of it.... Eh, if this ends up being a fuel line and gas starts flooding in here I'm going to look really stupid.