Sochi 2014 Opening Ceremony - Abridged!

Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony Abridged! What is up with this alphabet? 666 Number of the beast 666 Look, mum, I'm flying! Help. They've nailed our feet to the float. DEVIL GIRL ^O^ < LOL! Okay, who do I shoot for this *** up? OOoooo not I... I will survive At least the fan works Here comes the athletes (seriously, this bit went on for, like, 20 *** hours... BORING) Daddy-Tashkins: "Do you want a kiss?" Totaltopdude1964: "Get off my leg, darling" (Save it for later when we get back to my hotel room where I've brought my sling and sounding kit with me) Walking cake display. [Seriously, who the *** designed that and thought that it was a great idea? YOU CAN'T READ IT. IT'S TOO SMALL] YYYYEEEEEAAHHHHHH. MUTHAFUCKING FLAAAAGGGG. YAAAAAASSSSS Aw, looking fabulous, Germany. Looks like they've raided the army surplus USA: Keeping Grandmas knitting. [is it wrong that I kind of want one of those jumpers?] ... in case you're wonder what Santa's Little Helpers got up to... Do us proud, or I'll kill you SELFIE I've seen *** that start like this. And now back to Game Of Thrones Those horses are being chased by a bagel! Wheeeyy! Novelty Condoms. Now in XXXXXXXXXXXXXL Down in front Invisible genital tickles The practice of sport is a human right. Every individual must have the possibility of practicing sport, without discrimination of any kind and in the Olympic spirit, which requires mutual understanding with a spirit of friendship, solidarity and fair play I can see your lady garden NNNRRRRR AIRPLANES DEERRRRR BLAH BLAH BLAH [EVERYONE CLAP] HIYA I JUST WANT SOME PIES I don't know where my mum is Anyone need a lighter And then Russia - with all of its political corruption and human rights abuse... AND dashboard cams - exploded. The End.