Pizza

Alright so here's the deal: Basically, a thousand years ago, some dude in Italy got bored of plain old bread one day because, well, let's face it - plain old bread is boring. The dude went through his fridge, which at the time was probably an old boot, and put what he found in there on the bread. Now back then, the only other ingredients that had been invented aside from bread were oil, herbs, and cheese. The oil and the herbs sat nicely on top of the bread but when the dude went to put the cheese on, it just rolled right off. In anger, the dude punched the bread in the face. In addition to some serious anger issues, the dude also had problems with his memory. See moments later he found himself trying to put the cheese on the bread again and this time, thanks to the bread's flatness, it stayed on. The dude had invented focaccia, which by the way isn't pizza. But you see, later that year, the tomato was invented by Jesus and people started putting that stuff on the focaccia. See that's when pizza happened. Boom. Now, how this great dish came to be known as "pizza" is a little trickier to explain. We would probably have a better idea if people back in the day had realized the importance of pizza blogging but, as it is, we have to sort of rely on words. Here are some of the theories. 1. "Pikte" in Ancient Greek and "picta" or "pitta" in Latin translates to "fermented pastry." Recall that the first pizza ingredients likely came from an old boot so fermentation was a real possibility. 2. Greek "pissa" means "pitch" and ptea means "bran." 3. In Latin, "pinsa" means to pound or crush... or to punch in the face. 4. "Picea" describes the phenomenon of bread blackening in the oven. Hey! - that's what happens when I make pizza. I must be Latin. 5. In Italian, "pizzicare" means "to pluck". Violinists back in the day used to play their instruments with pizza. That's a joke for all those music geeks out there. You are out there right? 6. The word "bizzo" or "pizzo" - German in origin - means "mouthful." Many respected historians postulate that this word could have been used to describe all-you-can-eat pizza night, which was probably invented like a week or so after pizza. By the way, thanks in part to the good work done by all-you-can-eat pizza parlours, people today consume 5 billion pizzas every year! That's 350 slices of pizza every second! In other words, just in the time that you've been watching this video, folks around the world have downed literally thousands of pizzas. Not impressed? Let me put that another way - every day, Americans alone eat 100 acres of pizza, which is enough to cover approximately 76 NFL football fields. Anyway, the rest of the details are kinda sketchy. Let me know what you want me to sketch out in the comment field below. Wanna be a total sketchball? - Subscribe to Sketchy History and join an elite and growing force of pizza munchers. Peace... of pizza.