City of Angles - Caper - Chapter 1

Uh.. This is bad I do not look good in orange (Police Officer) Hold it This is really bad This is *** Damn it, Alex We're not the bad guys Tonight we are So.. Graduated top of your class, MIT You got dozen of grants Engineering, robotics You're on the fast track In the perfect world, you'd be interviewing me So what happened? It's.. Not a perfect world So, what's he like? Sam Clarke? Oh, he's.. He's great I mean, I can't believe you got to work for the The Machine He's not The Machine All right, I know, I know He denies it, but.. I mean, i'ts obivious Did you get to see the suit? I built the damn thing Hey, this is Lucas What, really? Oh, oh, wauw I-It's a honour, sir So are you calling to give her a recommendation? Oh.. yeah, yeah, yeah.. No, no of course, yeah.. I understand No, thank you Eh, listen before you hang up I just wanna say-- Wauw Oh.. Uh, he says he wants you back It's not me he wants He wants back what I stole from him Well, stole isn't the right word Took back something that was mine Something I built Whatever.. Important thing is he's made my life a hell ever since No.. I.. Pops, I don't.. I don't need any money Okay? I.. just.. Actually, I just walked out of a job interview So... That's wonderful, sweetheart How did it go? It went.. great You started looking for a new place? Not yet. It was just an interview, you know So your still at the loft? Yeah, Yep, still there with those same idiots Dad, I gotta go I have another call coming in, could be about the job Love you I love you too Hey, handsome Let's go to work Welcome to the City of Angles Where everyones got one If this was a TV-Show I'd be tempted to go all Charlies Angels on you Once upon a time four friends came together to fight crime We split the rent on this rat palace The kind of place you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy Which is ironic Because most of our enemies are richer than god and have secret lairs, that cost more than a stack of aircraft carriers As for the good guys, we're barely getting by Luke Washington a.k.a. The Trooper The truest and most noble red, white and blue american I ever met Up until a year ago he was a journalist The only job that pays worse than crime fighting Now he's a blogger Gets paid in page views and sarcastic comments Lukes deal is he had two dads The dad that raised him was a sheriff in Dog Bone, Nebraska Got himself killed in one of those situations, you think only happens in a country song After he died Lukes mom hits him with the bomb shell that his biological father was this guy from out of town Like way out of town Starman knocked up his mom and skipped town Leaving behind a kid who never got sick Could toss a pig across state lines And.. Oh yeah.. Fly Ugh.. That's Dagr 12th of 12 sons from an alternative dimension Where Vikings still rule Sent here on a quest for some sacred.. something or other. Still hasn't found it He's eurotrash and a pain in the ***, but he's also the biggest earner in the house A man-candy-handy-man for anyone with 50 bucks to change a bulb Dagr, Son of Wodan. Bearer of the Sun Shield and twelfth in line to the throne of Ostergotland And must retrieve us the Scion of Maguferry. Cast the sunder into the shallow realm Turns out our dimension is the 3rd circle of hell for Dagr's people That's why he was sent here instead of his brothers Although Dagr's kinda laid-back about the whole quest thing Let's just say he's rolling with the punches The Jackal appeared over the city this afternoon at approximately 3:15pm But was immediately by local hero The Machine That's me, but we will get to that in a minute (News-reporter) ...Over the ocean away from the city Penny's on TV again Alexia, she's not your typical Amazon Rejected to royal blood-line, when she ran away at 13 to join the Assassins Guild Turns out covert killings didn't lend itself to as much glory-basking as her ego demanded So she decided to go straight She's one of the good guys now, but you don't wanna *** her off Girl can bench press a pyramid When she's battling evil dudes, rich dudes pay her to break them Only gig she could find that paid her to torture people The Machine then maneuvered the Jackal over the ocean away from the city, sparing any loss of life Once again The Machine has shown us the meaning of the word hero The City of Angles owes a great debt that can never be repaid Well they could at least try to pay it It would be nice to branch out from cereal and SpaghettiOs There's been eye-witness reports that The Machine sustained substantial damage and dropped out of the sky near Mid Wiltshire, any updates? We have officers combing the streets to render assistance, but right now all we can do is pray that he is okay (News reporter) Are you concerned that if you don't find The Machine and... (Police Chief) No one need to be concerned for The Machine Come on Which brings us to me The La Brea tar pits Have been waiting 38.000 years for you to fall into them What happened? Are you hurt? Could need one of you to take the suit out once it's start, damn thing shorted out again As you'd imagine, a multimillion dollar space suit requires a lot of upkeep It would be easy if I still had a workshop But after I, you know, liberated the suit from Clarke Industries. I am stuck with my dads old toolbox And whatever parts I can find a Fry's Hey, look. I can't possible comment on the ongoing speculation that I am The Machine but I can assure you that I am fine and I am sure The Machine is too No mortal can hold the sacred shield of Oskergotland Nobody watches TV anymore anyway All the good stuff is online If I had to say where it all started It was probably here Frustration was at an all time high and finances at an all time low This is when desperation set in and this is when it all began to go very, very wrong