Flep 2 - 2x03 - L'ispettore

..Director..I should talk with you... ..don't you see i'm busy? I'm overwhelmed by job, pleasee.. No look, a person arrived and wished to talk to y.. ..and it will be one of the those usual door-to-door salesmen willing to give me some ***, kick him out.. No, look, today it's a different thing, it's important this time.. here, I knew this, you distracted me and I forgot to put the King over the Jack, right? aaaah ..but weren't you working?? look, just stop it, ok? 'cos if I loose my usual morning cards play I get *** mad. and I wouldn't like this day to end firing one of you idiots who pretends to work for me.. ..and you too, be more carefull when you distract me from my.... business tasks..good morning! morning. whoo..how can I help you? do you sell something? who are you? I'm from the labor inspectorate aah..the inspectorate..what a nice surprise..! It's been while since last time we had the pleasure.. five years, since when some of your employees suited you to court for not paying them.. oh, yes.. those fuc..foreigners, who though they were very important.. Illegal migrants, who were black working, to be accurate.. ..details.. Listen, I'm here for the usual quinquennial controls, there are always after a lawsuit..you know this, don't you? no..I did not know this.. but there's no problem!! my firm is at your disposal... it will be better for you that everything is legal, or you'll have tuff consequences.. champaagne?? would you like some? I don't drink when I work..I must have a tour of the firm. Should I make it alone or you would like to come with me? No, no..Of course I come with you..please, you first, please.. I'd like to know who's the *** that.. No, please director, do not lose your mind, keep calm Make those documents disappear and re-hang the fire extinguisher..c'mon!! Please, please..come in..he, is one of our best and most promising salesmen.. Hello! Hello! Your name? I am "the Hired"! What do you mean, sorry? In the sense I am the only Hired in this firm! of course, yes..as you can see, his name is pretty uncommon, and he's the only called Hired in this firm.. So, your name would be Hired..? exactly.. and your surname? and your surname? what the f**k is your surname? I don't remember it.. Remember!!..Hired Remember! yes, right this way.. Well, mr Hired Remember..do you work here with regular contract? of course..! and i am the only one! the only one? the only one deserving it...! right..I'll talk to you later.. well, please make a copy of your contract..i'll collect it later.. let's procede with our tour director.. but, can't I be that client's consultant? NO, I'll be his consultant.. and what will you suggest him?? to *** yourself off!! Seen, flep? it seems there's an inspector in the firm.. what inspector? a labor inspector.. you mean he controls that everybody's working? not really..a labor inspector is a person who has to control that every employee's working conditions are in accordance with the law. mmh, and which are your working conditions?? well, we are all in "black" for example. but you're wearing a purple t-shirt with jeans, looks like.. no..I mean black working, witouth contract.. no, excuse me..why do you need a truck? no, which truck? contract..job contract..we are without a contract.. I don't get it..how can you work here with a truck? We are without CONTRACT, not TRUCK! the CONTRACT..the contract.. well, I would say..there's no need to control this room..no? Look, let me do my job..good morning..you are mister..? Luca Piscistrelli.. Pipistrelli no Piscistrelli.. right right..and what is your job? Well, i actually work as.. Our Luca is a frieeend!! He come's here once in a while here in the firm to make some photocopies.. as in his firm they don't make them....and we, as we are friends, let him do some.. for some.. you mean all of these ones...?! Luca! what did you do? You misused our friendly act..HEM HEM HEM, you shouldn't do it.. ehm.. no..actual...noo ...these youngsters.. well, I can't see anything interesting here.. If you don't mind I'll take a coffee.. goodbye..but, sorry.. shut the *** up!! ..Caterina. Director, what can I do? Pay attention, a person is coming. prepare the best coffee you can make. Be sensual, available..OH GOT it right? It is of VITAL IMPORTANCE for this firm ..but are you sure that I have to.. Do what I said!! What do you mean when you say "available", director!! that you GOTTA GIVE IT to him! what are you sayin' flep? just prey it's a charming man! Hi.. HI... If you could step aside, I would take a coffee.. But I'm the coffee-employee, so it's just necessary for you to tell me what you desire and I will give it to you.. a caffè macchiato, thanks. So you work here..!..and what is your name? My name is Caterina but if you want you can call me Rina.. but why, Cate wasn't easier?? All right, Rina.. and do you have a regular working contract?? Well, I black work as a stagist..but I could do some work in black for you as well..dressed in black I mean.. You are scratching my cover with the zip!! No, thanks, I do not need anything..but what I heard is more than sufficient.. but...but what's this?? God! what do you have?? God! it's my fault, I put some downer and aspirine in the coffee.. and why would you have downer and aspirine? Some employees particularly stressed requested me them. God! he doesn't move anymore..do you think he's dead? and what's that?? ooh! he's got an hard-on!! So I made some effect!! No, no.. I think I've put also some ***.. Caterina, I want to congratulate with you..Thanks your intuition, the inspector isn't anymore a problem for us. he's alive, right? alive and healthy! because of the poisoning, he fainted and hit his head, so He doesn't remember anymore he has to control our firm. So I want to award you... what? You'll become manager! God! a propotion, I have never had it all my life! You'll manage all the coffee sector.. nobody will ever give you orders, except me and the clients asking coffees.. You'll manage every every thing...happy? I'm so happy! I can't believe this.. I'll be manager of the coffee sector.. but..director..I'm the only one in the coffee sector..the only employee in the whole firm.. yes but you're the manager now, not an employee anymore..you'll manage right everything!! sorry, let me think about it..I'll have the same tasks..but with a different title.. ..more qualifying! yes, but in the end.. eehm, listen up sugar... what the *** do you still want?? eeeeeh go make coffees, go go dear.. go.. remember, you're still a stagist..so We are controlling you.. ..ah Caterina.. yes? ..yep, really fair Translation by Alessandro D'Errico