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X
No.
No.
All I hear from you is that you're controlled by someone else. Is it really that hard to stand on your own? Is it hard to believe that you reap what you've sewn.
This is all just objective reality, nothing exists untill it is true. Big brother will follow you around the town. Untill you believe that big brother is you.
I can't tell you what is true.
A is A, it's up to you.
TAKE CONTROLL OF YOUR OWN LIFE!