Mario Parody - How peach always gets captured by bowser

Mondays and Fridays at 3 p.m. Central All right Super Mario should be here any minute now Any minute now. Any minute now. Aha! I told you he'd be here. Well, well, well, Mario. I've been expecting you- Yeah, yeah, yeah, ya said that last time. uh oh Well, looks like it's the end of that guy. For the 50th time this month. I swear, if there is a toad in the next room, I'm done. F*ck the princess Ｔｈａｎｋ　ｙｏｕ　ｆｏｒ　ｓａｖｉｎｇ　ｍｅ　 Ｓｕｐｅｒ　Ｍａｒｉｏ Whatever, here's the key. You're free to unlock your handcuffs and leave. Ｗａｉｔ Ｂｏｗｓｅｒ　ｋｉｎｄ　ｏｆ　ｂｒｏｕｇｈｔ　ｍｅ　ｈｅｒｅ ｉｎ ｈｉｓ ｅｍｂａｒｒａｓｉｎｇｌｙ　ｌｉｔｔｌｅ　ｓｐａｃｅｓｈｉｐ Ｓｏ　Ｉ　ｄｏｎ＇ｔ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｈａｖｅ　ａ　ｒｉｄｅ　ｂａｃｋ． AUGGGGGHHHHH Ｔｈａｎｋ　ｙｏｕ　ｆｏｒ　ｂｒｉｎｇｉｎｇ ｍｅ　ｂａｃｋ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｅ ｃａｓｔｌｅ Ｓｕｐｅｒ Ｍａｒｉｏ． F*ck off Peach! You! Make sure she stays in the castle. I'm startin' to get real tired of havin' to go over there and rescue her ***, every other f*cking day Uhhhh And for goodness sakes, get better security gaurds I mean just look at those two idiots. Stop right there. What? What did I do? Not you! I was talking to him! No you weren't, you were clearly talking to me! No I wasn't ya big *** You were clearly talking to me! Uh, so can I go in now? (both) Okay! Woah guys! Who was that just now?! I think it was Luigi. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Wait. If you're right here. and he's right there. and he's ALSO right there! Ha! I'm not right there! I'm actually on the roof! Then where's Princess Peach? For F*ck sakes why the f*ck does this sh*t always f*cking happen to me, you f*cking b*tch Woah! Language! F*ck you! Ｓａｌｕｔａｔｉｏｎｓ　Ｂｏｗｓｅｒ Ｐｌｅａｓｅ　ｏｐｅｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｄｏｏｒ　Ｂｏｗｓｅｒ Will you go away, I'm tired of getting thrown into lava because of you. Ｂｕｔ　Ｓｕｐｅｒ　Ｍａｒｉｏ　ｔｏｌｄ　ｍｅ　ｔｏ　ｆ＊ｃｋ　ｏｆｆ Well that's none of my concern isn't it? Peach? Come on peach, I've already kidnapped you today, just, please be rational, I don't want to do this anymore. Mama Mia! Oh it's Mario! Look Mario, I know this looks bad, but I didn't actually kidnap her this time. Please don't. Ｔｈａｎｋ　ｙｏｕ　ｆｏｒ　ｓａｖｉｎｇ　ｍｅ　 Ｓｕｐｅｒ　Ｍａｒｉｏ I hate you. So, SO much! Ｉｆ　ｙｏｕ　ｅｎｊｏｙｅｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｖｉｄｅｏ　ａｎｄ　ｗａｎｔ　ｔｏ　ｓｅｅ　ｍｏｒｅ，　ｄｏｎ＇ｔ　ｆｏｒｇｅｔ　ｔｏ　ｈｉｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｅ　ｂｕｔｔｏｎ　ｒｉｇｈｔ　ｕｐ　ｔｈｅｒｅ． Ｉ＇ｍ　ｇｏｎｎａ　ｇｏ　ｇｅｔ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　ｋｉｄｎａｐｐｅｄ　ｓｏｍｅ　ｍｏｒｅ．　Ｓｅｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｇｕｙｓ　ｌａｔｅｒ．