Dukes of Hazzard - Rosco's wedding plans

MY SHERIFF, GETTIN' MARRIED? BUZZARD ON A BUZZ SAW! ROSCO, YOU MAY BE ITCHY AND NEED TO SCRATCH, BUT YOU ARE STAYIN' SINGL, AND THAT'S AN ORDER. YOU'RE A SHERIFF AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE ONLY ONE BOSS. NAMELY, ME! UH, LISTEN. BUT, BOSS, I REALLY WANNA DO IT. I SAID FORGET IT! THE LAST THING I NEED IS A BOSSY WIFE TELLIN' HER HUSBAND, MY SHERIFF: "NO, YOU SHOULDN'T DRIVE SO FAST. "NO, YOU CAN'T WORK LATE TONIGHT. NO, YOU AIN'T GETTIN' A BIG ENOUGH CUT OF THE TAKE." NOW, THIS MARRIAGE IS OFF, CANCELLED, DEAD AS A DOORNAIL! [stuttering] BUT, BOSS, YOU SEE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU SEE, I'VE ALREADY MADE ARRANGEMENTS TO GET MARRIED TOMORROW. I'VE INVITED EVERYBODY. I INVITED YOU, AND LULU, AND--AND MY DOG, FLASH. I EVEN INVITED CLETUS. OH, THANK YOU, SHERIF, BUT ARE YOU FORGETTIN' WHAT DAY IT IS TOMORROW? NO, I'M NOT FORGETTIN' WHAT DAY IT IS, YOU DIPSTICK. IT'S MY WEDDIN' DAY! YEAH, DODO! AND IT'S ALSO THE DAY THAT THAT SPECIAL MINER'S PAYROLL COMES INTO MY BANK. $100,000. COLD CASH. AND YOU THINK I'M GONNA LEAVE MY BANK UNGUARDED WHILE MY LAW OFFICERS ARE AT SOME DANG FOOL WEDDIN', LETTING ANYBODY IN TO STEAL EVERY LAST PENNY OF THAT PAYROLLL, LEAVIN' ME WITH NOTHIN' BUT THE INSURANCE COMPANY TO MAKE GOOD ON THE LOSS. BOSS IS RIGHT. BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT. NOT NECESSARILY. NOT NECESSARILY. ROSCO, I'M BEING BLIND, JUST PLUMB BLIND. I MEAN, WHO AM I TO STAND IN THE WAY OF MY GOOD FRIEND AND BROTHER-IN-LAW, ROSCO, WHO'S THROWIN' HIMSELF INTO THE SEA OF MATRIMONY? [grunting] YES? YOU GET OUT OF HERE FOR A MINUTE, WILL YOU? ROSCO AND I GOTTA TALK ABOUT HIS WEDDIN' NIGHT. YOU KNOW, MAN-TO-MAN STUFF. WHAT AM I, WEARIN' A GIRDLE? YOU OUGHT TO BE. GO. [Cletus screaming] HE MAY BE KIN, BUT HE'S TOO STUPID TO BE TRUSTED. BOSS, DID I HEAR YOU RIGHT? ARE YOU GONNA REALLY LET ME GET MARRIED? YEAH, I AM. I AM. AND AFTERWARDS YOU AND ME ARE GONNA SHARE A $100,000 WEDDIN' PRESENT. THE USUAL SPLIT, OF COURSE. 80-20. IT'S MY MONEY. UH, AT LEAST, IT'S MY BANK'S MONEY. OH, THE BANK'S GONNA GIVE IT TO US? NO, NO, DEADHEAD. THE SOUTHERN DEPOSIT INSURANCE COMPANY IS GONNA GIVE US THAT MONEY, THAT'S WHO. WHY WOULD THEY DO THA? 'CAUSE TOMORROW I'M GONNA ARRANGE TO HAVE MY BANK ROBBED. AND IT'S GONNA BE DONE WHILE EVERY LIVIN', BREATHIN' SOUL IN HAZZARD COUNTY IS AT YOUR WEDDIN'. EXCEPT 'EM DUKES. I DON'T WANT 'EM DUKES AT MY WEDDIN'. INCLUDIN' THE DUKES. THERE COMES A TIME FOR FORGIVENESS. WELL, THIS IS ONE TIME I'LL FORGIVE THEM. THIS AIN'T THAT TIME. NO, YOU JUST GAVE ME ANOTHER IDEA. YOU'RE SO FULL OF THEM. I APPRECIATE THAT. AND THIS ONE'S THE GREATEST SINCE INSTANT GRITS. I KNOW IT IS. WHICH ONE IS IT? THIS IS THE ONE THAT TOMORROW WE INVITE EVERY LIVIN' BREATHIN' SOUL IN HAZZARD TO YOUR WEDDIN' EXCEPT THE DUKES. YEAH! WHICH MAKES THEM THE NUMBER-ONE SUSPECT IN THE HEIST. [stuttering] THEM BEING THE ONLY ONES WHO COULD'VE DONE IT. I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I JUST LOVE IT WHEN YOU GET THOSE BRILLIANT LITTLE IDEAS. GET OUT OF THERE! WE'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN EVERY STREET IN HAZZARD COUNTY.