Listening Is an Act of Love

DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE WHEN WE WERE 19 AND TOTALLY IN LOVE AND COULDN'T TELL ANYONE? MY FATHER WAS EVERYTHING TO ME. I LIVE MY LIFE TRYING TO BE HALF THE MAN MY FATHER WAS. DO YOU HAVE ANY REGRETS, GRANDPA? NOPE, LIVED A WONDERFUL LIFE. I WANT YOU TO DO THE SAME THING, LIVE WITH COURAGE. [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] BENJI: I JUST START BY ASKING YOU ONE OF THE QUESTIONS ON MY LIST, RIGHT? ANYTHING YOU WANT. OKAY. SO WHAT WERE YOU LIKE AS A KID? I WAS PRETTY WEIRD. I DIDN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING BUT WATCH TV AND I SPENT A LOT OF TIME BY MYSELF. BUT I ALWAYS LIKED TALKING TO OLDER PEOPLE, LIKE THE WAITRESS AT THE LUNCHEONETTE AT NEAR MY HOUSE OR MY GRANDPARENTS. I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS JUST A FEW YEARS OLDER THAN YOU, YOUR GREAT-GRANDPA ABE AND YOUR GREAT-GRANDMA ROSE AND HER SISTERS CAME OVER TO OUR APARTMENT FOR THANKSGIVING. AFTER DINNER, I FOUND THIS TAPE RECORDER LYING AROUND AND SOMEHOW I GOT THE IDEA TO INTERVIEW THEM. I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT I WAS DOING, BUT I RECORDED THEIR VOICES AND STORIES AND I SAW HOW MUCH THEY LOVED BEING LISTENED TO. A FEW YEARS LATER, YOUR GREAT-GRANDPA AND YOUR GREAT-GRANDMA AND ALL HER SISTERS PASSED AWAY, BUT I REMEMBERED I'D MADE THAT TAPE. SO I WENT LOOKING FOR IT, BUT I COULDN'T FIND IT. EVEN NOW WHEN I GO TO YOUR GRANDMA'S HOUSE, I GO LOOKING FOR THAT TAPE, JUST HOPING IT'S GONNA TURN UP. BENJI: I DON'T GET IT. WHY DO YOU KEEP LOOKING FOR IT? BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE ME SO HAPPY TO HEAR THOSE VOICES AGAIN, AND I'D LOVE TO PLAY THAT TAPE FOR YOU. YOU KNOW, DOING THAT RECORDING REALLY TAUGHT ME SOMETHING. YOU CAN FIND THE MOST AMAZING STORIES FROM REGULAR PEOPLE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR LIVES AND LISTEN. BENJI: REALLY? THAT'S IT? DAVE: YEAH, IT'S SIMPLE. WE CAN LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT THE PEOPLE ALL AROUND US, EVEN ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE ALREADY KNOW, JUST BY TAKING THE TIME TO HAVE A CONVERSATION. AND IF YOU PAY JUST A LITTLE ATTENTION, YOU'LL FIND WISDOM AND POETRY IN THEIR WORKS. DO PEOPLE REALLY WANT YOU TO ASK ABOUT THEIR LIVES? YEAH, THEY DO. MOST PEOPLE LOVE TO BE LISTENED TO BECAUSE IT TELLS THEM HOW MUCH THEIR LIVES MATTER. ALL YOU NEED TO ASK ARE QUESTIONS LIKE: WHO IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE? OR, WHAT ARE YOU PROUDEST OF? REALLY, LISTENING CLOSELY IS SIMPLE. WHEN YOU'RE CURIOUS, TREAT PEOPLE WITH RESPECT AND HAVE JUST A LITTLE COURAGE TO ASK THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS, GREAT THING ARE GONNA HAPPEN. [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] JAMES: LET'S TALK ABOUT MISS DEVINE. CHERIE: LIZZY DEVINE. JAMES: MISS DEVINE WAS A WIRY LADY. SHE WORE SUMMER DRESSES, SHE HAD A BANDANA AND A STRAW HAT AND SHE WAS THE ONLY PERSON I KNEW THAT HAD MORE POWER THAN MY GRANDMOTHER. CHERIE: SHE WASN'T A MEAN PERSON, SHE WAS STERN. JAMES: STERN, YES, VERY STERN. CHERIE: YOU KNOW, WHEN SHE SAID SOMETHING, SHE MEANT EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID. IN FACT, SHE WAS OUR SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER. THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD KEEP YOU FROM GOING TO SUNDAY SCHOOL, YOU HAD TO HAVE ONE FOOT ON A BANANA PEEL AND THE OTHER IN THE GRAVE. JAMES: ABSOLUTELY. CHERIE: THAT'S THE ONLY THING. JAMES: THERE'S NO EXCUSE. CHERIE: YOU HAD TO GO. JAMES: HAD TO GO. CHERIE: ONE OF THE THINGS THAT YOU PRAYED FOR WHEN YOU WERE IN MISS DEVINE'S CLASS WAS, "LORD, PLEASE LET ME GET OLD ENOUGH TO GET OUT OF THIS CLASS." (LAUGHTER) SHE DID THE CATECHISM, "WHO MADE YOU? GOD. WHERE IS GOD? EVERYWHERE!" (LAUGHTER) SHE WENT THROUGH, AND WE SAID, "OH LORD, HAVE MERCY, PLEASE." JAMES: THIS MISS DEVINE WOULD COME IN ON SUNDAY MORNINGS TO TAKE US TO SUNDAY SCHOOL, AND WHEN I SAW HER COME, CHERIE, I THOUGHT THE LEAVES WOULD BE BLOWING OFF THE TREES AND THE SKY WOULD GO BLACK AND THE CLOUDS WOULD COME IN. AND SHE'D COME IN THE HOUSE ONE MORNING SAYING, "GOOD MORNING, CHILDREN." AND EVERYBODY, MY MOTHER ON DOWN SAID, "GOOD MORNING, MISS DEVINE." AND SHE SAID, "IT'S TIME TO GO TO SUNDAY SCHOOL THIS MORNING, CHILDREN." I SAID, "MISS DEVINE, I CAN'T GO TO SUNDAY SCHOOL TODAY." SHE SAID, "NO?" I SAID, "NO, MA'AM." SHE SAID, "WHY NOT?" I SAID, "BECAUSE MY MOTHER DIDN'T BRING ENOUGH CLOTHES FOR ME TO GO TO SUNDAY SCHOOL THIS MORNING." SHE SAID, "OH, NO?" I SAID, "NO MA'AM." SHE SAID, "WHAT DO YOU HAVE? WHAT KIND OF CLOTHES DO YOU HAVE?" I SAID, "ALL I HAVE, MISS DEVINE, ARE MY PAJAMAS AND MY TENNIS SHOES." SHE SAID, "WELL, THAT'S OKAY, HONEY. PUT YOUR TENNIS SHOES ON. WE'LL GO TO SUNDAY SCHOOL." I LOOKED AT MY MOTHER AND SHE LOOKED AWAY, CHERIE. MISS DEVINE MADE ME WALK TWO BLOCKS IN MY PAJAMAS AND MY TENNIS SHOES. I HAD TO SIT IN CHURCH WITH MY FRIENDS, DOING SUNDAY SCHOOL IN MY PAJAMAS AND MY TENNIS SHOES. I'M GONNA TELL YOU, CHERIE, I NEVER LIED AGAIN. (LAUGHS) CHERIE: MISS DEVINE WAS ALWAYS THERE TO TAKE CARE OF US. JAMES: RIGHT. CHERIE: BUT WHEN MISS DEVINE BRAIDED YOUR HAIR, YOUR EYES WENT UP LIKE THIS. (LAUGHTER) YOU HAD TO SLEEP ON SOFT PILLOWS BECAUSE, I MEAN, BOY, SHE HAD IT TIGHT. JAMES: MM-MM. CHERIE: AND MISS DEVINE HAD MANGO TREES ALL OVER HER YARD, BUT MISS DEVINE NEVER BROUGHT YOU A MANGO UNTIL IT WAS ROTTEN. (LAUGHTER) IT WOULD BE, IT WOULD SMELL LIKE LIQUOR. (LAUGHTER) THAT'S WHEN SHE BROUGHT YOU A MANGO. JAMES: YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT'S THE KIND OF STUFF THAT WE GOT GROWING UP, AND I NEVER FORGET THAT. [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] NOE: MY MOTHER, SHE WOULD ACTUALLY MAKE UNDER $8,000 A YEAR. AND IF SHE REACHED THE $8,000, SHE WOULD ACTUALLY BE HAPPY THAT SHE MADE THAT MUCH. SO, I WOULD LITERALLY GO OUTSIDE MY HOUSE, PUT ALL MY PRODUCTS THERE AND SELL THEM. I DIDN'T MAKE MUCH. I MADE, WHAT, 20 BUCKS A WEEK. BUT FOR A EIGHT YEAR OLD, YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY. ALEX: THAT'S A LOT OF COMIC BOOKS AND STUFF, YEAH. NOE: BUT THE THING IS, I WASN'T LIKE OTHER KIDS. I DIDN'T GO BUY POKEMON CARDS. LITTLE MONEY I MADE, I GAVE IT TO MY MOM. THE FIRST TIME, I REMEMBER SHE WAS COOKING AND I CAME UP TO HER AND I TOLD HER, "MOM, I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE MONEY, SO HERE'S 15 BUCKS I MADE." SHE TURNED OFF THE STOVE, SHE TURNED AROUND AND STARTED CRYING AND HUGGED ME. FROM THAT POINT ON, I JUST DEDICATED ON GETTING MONEY FOR MY FAMILY. ALEX: HOW DID YOU MAKE THAT MONEY? NOE: FIRST OF ALL, THE ONE THING THAT COMES TO PEOPLE'S MIND IN THE BAD NEIGHBORHOODS IS DRUGS, BUT I DID NOT SELL DRUGS. REASON FOR THAT IS, FIRST OF ALL, I KNOW IT'S WRONG. SECONDLY, I PICTURE MY MOM, HOW DISAPPOINTED SHE'LL BE IF SHE FINDS THAT OUT. SO, I ACTUALLY STARTED HELPING IN A CONSTRUCTION SITE, AND THIS WAS IN FIFTH GRADE. IT WAS BAD ON MY BONES. I HAVE BAD SHOULDERS, BAD KNEES, FOR ALL THE STUFF THAT I WAS CARRYING. ALEX: WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER, DID YOU REALIZE KIND OF LIKE, HEY, THIS ISN'T NORMAL, OR THIS ISN'T WHAT OTHER PEOPLE GO THROUGH. NOE: WELL, I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS POOR. BUT I REMEMBER ONE TIME IN PARTICULAR, MY SHOES WERE ALL SCRAPED UP, SO I GOT PAINT AND I PAINTED THEM WHITE. SOME KID FELL AND TRIPPED IN FRONT OF MY SHOES AND NOTICED THEM. HE POINTED IT OUT AND LAUGHED, AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME REALLY HARD, LIKE, I'M ACTUALLY POORER THAN I THOUGHT. HOW'S YOUR FIRST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE BEEN? THINGS ARE GREAT. I JUST THINK ABOUT IT, LIKE, BEING THE FIRST ONE TO GO TO COLLEGE IN MY WHOLE FAMILY OF OVER 50 OF US. THAT'S MY BIGGEST MOTIVATION. I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU THAT YOU WENT THIS FAR, AND I JUST WANT TO HAVE YOU COME BACK IN LIKE, TEN YEARS, DRESSED REALLY SHARP, YOU KNOW... NOE: AND NICE SHOES. ALEX: WITH A SUIT AND NICE SHOES AND FINALLY HAVE A PAIR OF SHOES THAT YOU HAVEN'T PAINTED, AND I WANT YOU TO GET EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED. [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] I ALWAYS HAVE A NOTECARD IN MY POCKET THAT TELLS ME WHAT THE DATE IS AND I HAVE TO WRITE DOWN WHEN I EAT MEALS, BECAUSE SOMETIMES I MIGHT EAT LUNCH THREE TIMES BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER THAT I ATE ALREADY. THE DOCTORS SAY THE BRAIN CAN CONTINUE HEALING UP TO TWO YEARS, BUT WHATEVER IS NOT BACK BY THAT POINT IS NOT LIKELY TO EVER COME BACK. SO YOU HAD YOUR SURGERY IN NOVEMBER OF 2008, RIGHT? RIGHT. AND SO, I'M GONNA HAVE TO LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE THIS WAY. AND THE THING THAT SCARES ME THE MOST IS LIKE, THE THOUGHT THAT I WILL WAKE UP ONE DAY AND I'LL BE 80 YEARS OLD AND I WON'T REMEMBER THE LAST 40 YEARS OF MY LIFE. YASIR: DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU FIRST CAME OUT OF SURGERY? GWEN: I KNOW THAT I USED TO ALWAYS THINK THAT I WAS IN SAN FRANCISCO. (LAUGHS) YASIR: WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS CALLED? DO YOU REMEMBER? GWEN: CONFABULATIONS? YEAH. DO YOU REMEMBER ANOTHER CONFABULATION THAT I USED TO HAVE? YASIR: YOU USED TO THINK THAT YOUR CO-WORKER BARBARA WAS YOUR MOM. GWEN: (LAUGHS) THAT'S RIGHT. YASIR: EVEN THOUGH SHE'S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT RACE THAN YOU. GWEN: (LAUGHS) THAT'S FUNNY, YEAH. THERE WAS ONE POINT WHERE YOU WERE CONFUSED BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT WE HAD BROKEN UP. AND I WOULD ASK YOU LIKE, "WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE STAYING AT MY PLACE?" YOU'RE LIKE, "WELL, WE'RE JUST COOL LIKE THAT." (LAUGHS) YEAH, SORRY ABOUT THAT. THAT'S ALRIGHT. AND AFTER ALL YOU'VE BEEN DOING FOR ME. THANKFULLY YOU GOT OVER THAT. I'M THANKFUL FOR THAT AS WELL. SO IS THERE ANY POSITIVE THINGS THAT HAVE COME OUT OF LOSING YOUR MEMORY, WHEN YOU LOOK BACK ON IT? WELL, I RAN THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON WITH YOU, MY BOYFRIEND, AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I ASKED YOU WAS TO HELP ME AS A TRICK TO NOT LET ME LOOK AT ANY OF THE MILE MARKERS ALONG THE WAY. AND IF I ASKED YOU HOW LONG WE'D BEEN RUNNING, TO ALWAYS TELL ME 10 OR 15 MINUTES. (LAUGHS) AND IT REALLY WORKED LIKE A CHARM. YASIR: YEAH. GWEN: AND WHEN WE GOT TO THE END, YOU AND I ARE RUNNING ACROSS THE FINISH LINE, AND AS IF ON CUE, I STARTED CRYING MY EYES OUT, I WAS SO HAPPY. YOU KNOW, I HAVE SPENT A LOT OF DAYS SINCE MY INJURY COMPARING MYSELF TO WHAT I USED TO BE AND FEELING SAD ABOUT THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOST, BUT DOING THE MARATHON SHOWS ME THAT I STILL HAVE A LOT LEFT IN ME. [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] MY DADDY WAS ELECTED MAYOR TWICE AND I USED TO WALK DOWN THE STREETS HOLDING HIS HAND. EVERYBODY'D STOP AND PET ME ON THE HEAD AND SAID, "HOW YOU DOIN', LITTLE MAYOR?" (LAUGHS) YEAH, I HAD A WONDERFUL DADDY. AND WHEN I WAS ABOUT 14, HE SAID, "SON, LOOK, YOU COME FROM A LONG LINE OF CHRONIC ALCOHOLICS. I'M AN ALCOHOLIC JUST WAITING FOR THE FIRST DRINK AND I REFUSE TO TAKE IT." HE SAID, "IF YOU DO, YOU'LL GET AWAY WITH IT FOR A WHILE, BUT IT'LL DESTROY YOUR LIFE AND PROBABLY KILL YOU." HE SAID, "I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER THAT." I SAID, "OKAY, DADDY, I'LL GIVE IT SERIOUS THOUGHT." I GAVE IT ENOUGH THOUGHT THAT THAT HALLOWEEN, I WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING WITH MY BUDDY AND WE PASSED A HORSESHOE OF FRAT HOUSES. THOSE KIDS KNEW WHO I WAS. EVERYBODY KNEW WHO MY DADDY WAS. AND ONE OF THEM FRAT BOYS SAID, "HEY, YOU EVER HAD A DRINK?" AND I SAID, "NO, I HADN'T." AND HE SAID, "NOW, YOU DRINK THIS. IT'S GONNA BURN AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THIS." I NEVER FELT SO GOOD IN MY LIFE. AS LONG AS I HAD ALCOHOL IN MY SYSTEM, I WAS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE, A SELF-CONFIDENT, GOOD-LOOKING, WITTY HUMAN BEING. AND IT WORKED VERY WELL FOR 40-SOME MORE YEARS OF MY LIFE. DAVID: MUST TAKE A LOT OF SELF-DISCIPLINE TO TURN AROUND. EDDIE: WELL, IT TOOK MORE THAN THAT. I HAD JUST BEEN RELEASED FOR MY 28TH TREATMENT FOR ALCOHOLISM. THE DOCTOR TOLD ME WHEN I LEFT, SAID, "I'LL GIVE YOU TWO WEEKS AND I'LL READ YOUR NAME IN THE OBITUARIES." SO I WENT TO THE CEMETERY WHERE MY MOTHER AND DADDY WERE BURIED AND I LET THEM KNOW THAT I'M SOBER AND GONNA DIE THIS WAY. SO THEN I CAME ON DOWN TO A PLACE I KNEW THERE WAS AN EXIT RAMP OF CARS COME AROUND. I HELD A SIGN THERE AND THAT'S WHERE I MET YOU. EVERY TIME YOU CAME BY, YOU'D STICK OUT A TWO DOLLAR BILL AND A CAN OF TUNA FISH. AND IT WAS NEW YEAR'S EVE AND I HAD NOWHERE TO GO, COULDN'T DRINK, EVERYBODY'S PARTYING. AND YOU WALKED ON OVER AND SAID, "YOU REMEMBER ME?" I SAID, "YEAH, YOU'RE THE TWO DOLLAR BILL MAN." HE SAID, "I'M GONNA TAKE YOU HOME WITH ME FOR A NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?" I SAID, "I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD WORK, SIR. YOU'VE GOT A WIFE? SHE'S GONNA HAVE A LOT TO SAY TO YOU ABOUT BRINGING A HOMELESS, SMELLY OLD MAN HOME WITH YOU." YOU SAID, "MY WIFE WILL RECEIVE YOU WELL." I WENT TO YOUR HOME AND HAD A SHOWER AND YOU GAVE ME SOME CLEAN CLOTHES AND WE SAT DOWN AT THE TABLE AND I TOLD YOU SOME STORIES ABOUT WHO I REALLY WAS AND WHO MY DADDY WAS. THERE WAS A LOT MORE TO ME THAN YOU MIGHT IMAGINE. I HOPE I WAS A LITTLE BIT OF A HELP ALONG YOUR PATH. WELL, YOU KNOW, DAVID, WITHOUT YOUR KINDNESS AND YOUR FAMILY AND ALL, I DON'T KNOW... I WOULDN'T SAY I'D HAVE GONE BACK DRINKING AGAIN, BUT I SAY IT WOULD'VE BEEN ROUGH. [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] WHEN DID YOU AND DAD DECIDE TO ADOPT? WE ALWAYS KNEW FROM THE TIME WE FIRST MARRIED, AND WE MUST'VE TALKED ABOUT IT EVEN BEFORE THAT. YOU KNOW, WE'RE VERY METHODICAL PEOPLE. (LAUGHTER) NOW, THIS IS SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW. WHEN I WAS 17, I GOT PREGNANT. AND THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE IS MY FATHER, BUT HE GAVE ME 24 HOURS TO LEAVE TOWN. AND I GAVE THIS BABY UP FOR ADOPTION AND SAID AT THAT TIME THAT I WILL ADOPT A CHILD WHEN I'M ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF A CHILD. WOW. I JUST...WASN'T READY FOR THAT. I'M SURE. SO MANY TIMES I WOULD THINK, "GOSH, IS THIS THE TIME TO TELL HIM?" BUT I'M 73 NOW AND IT JUST SEEMS LIKE SUCH A BIG SECRET. WELL, I GUESS SPEAKING OF SECRETS, WHEN I CAME OUT, I REMEMBER KINDA SAYING TO YOU, "HEY, MOM, I WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING," AND I STUMBLED JUST TELLING YOU I WAS GAY. AND THE FIRST THING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH WAS, "I LOVE YOU AND I'M YOUR MOTHER." JACKIE: BY THAT TIME I KNEW. IT WASN'T EVEN ANY QUESTION IN MY MIND. IT'S JUST...YOU, AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER IF YOU'RE HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE. PLUS, YOU HELP ME WITH MY HAIR SOMETIMES. (LAUGHTER) YEAH, IT COMES WITH ITS PERKS. THERE'S NO DOWNSIDE FOR ME. SCOTT: IT'S KINDA FUNNY, I THINK WHERE YOU'RE CONCERNED, I TRY NOT TO BE VERY EMOTIONAL. I WORRY THAT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW JUST HOW DEEPLY I LOVE YOU AND HOW SCARY IT IS FOR ME SOMETIMES TO IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT YOU. JACKIE: THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN'T MAKE BETTER FOR YOU AND I DON'T DOUBT IT'LL BE TOUGH, BUT YOU'LL BE OKAY. THE THING THAT'S BEEN WONDERFUL, SWEETHEART, IS THAT WE SPEND A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER AND WE HAVEN'T MISSED MUCH. [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] I WASN'T VERY NICE. IF I MAKE A MISTAKE, MY MOTHER, SHE MAKE ME APOLOGIZE. IN OUR CUSTOM, WHEN YOU APOLOGIZE TO YOUR MOTHER, YOU HAVE TO BRING A CUP OF TEA AND SAY, "I'M SORRY." BUT I PURPOSELY DROPPED THAT HOT CUP OF TEA ON MY MOTHER'S LAP. AND I WASN'T A GOOD STUDENT. I ALWAYS LIE TO GET OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE A LOT OF BOYFRIEND AFTER ME. (LAUGHTER) THAT TIME I WAS STILL YOUNG; I WAS NOT BAD LOOKING THEN. (LAUGHTER) SO WHAT ELSE? HURRY, HURRY. I'M GONNA GO HOME. HOW'D YOU MEET GRANDPA? I WAS A TRAINING NURSE IN A HOSPITAL. HE WAS THERE FOR HEMORRHOIDS OPERATION. SO WHEN YOUR GRANDPA SEE ME, YOUR GRANDPA KEEP ON ASKING ME TO GET MARRIED. AND I SAY, "I DON'T LIKE YOU. YOU HAVE BALD HEAD." (LAUGHTER) I DIDN'T LIKE HIM BECAUSE HE'S UGLY. BUT ONE THING ABOUT YOUR GRANDPA, HE'S VERY SMART. THAT'S IT. NO MORE QUESTION. GRANDMA. JUST A COUPLE MORE QUESTIONS? -SHORT ONE. -SHORT ONES. TELL ME ABOUT WORKING AT BLOOMINGDALES. WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU KNOW WHAT I DO. I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU. NO, YOU HAVE TO, YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT. I AM A DETECTIVE. (LAUGHTER) I GOT THE VERY FAMOUS DESIGNER. I BETTER NOT MENTION HER NAME. SHE STOLE THIS DRESS, $3,000. SO I WALKED OUT THE STORE, I SAID, "WOULD YOU LIKE TO PAY ME THAT DRESS?" SHE SAID, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" I SAID, "YEAH, YOU'RE A THIEF!" (LAUGHTER) SO, THAT'S MY LIFE. DO YOU HAVE ANY REGRETS? NO! WHY SHOULD I REGRET? NO. I THINK I'M OLD ENOUGH TO DO WHATEVER I WOULD LIKE. AND THAT'S IT. (LAUGHTER) [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] YOU KNOW, THERE'S A LINE BETWEEN INDEPENDENT AND STUBBORN AND MY MOM CROSSED THAT A LOT. CHEN: SHE LIKED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS, BUT SHE DIDN'T REALLY MIND. LIKE, SHE TOOK CARE OF GRANDPA AND SHE DID A LOT OF THAT ON HER OWN. YOU KNEW, BECAUSE SHE COMPLAINED ABOUT IT, BUT SHE WOULD DO IT EVEN THOUGH SHE COMPLAINED. CHENG: YEAH. I DON'T KNOW HOW WILLING SHE WOULD'VE BEEN TO DO STORYCORPS IF SHE ACTUALLY DIDN'T KNOW SHE HAD SO LITTLE TIME LEFT. IT WAS KIND OF LIKE ONE OF HER LAST GIFTS TO US. MY MOTHER WAS CREMATED AND THE ORIGINAL PLAN WAS TO PUT HER IN THE SAME CREMORIAL... NEXT TO GRANDPA. (LAUGHS) CHENG: BUT SHE SAID, YOU KNOW, "KEEP ME AT YOUR PLACE FOR A WHILE." SO RIGHT NOW I HAVE THE ASHES AT HOME AND I TALK TO MY MOM EVERY NOW AND THEN. I'LL TELL HER GOODNIGHT OR "I MISS YOU" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. SO, I'M KINDA HAPPY SHE'S WITH ME. [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] SO MAYBE THIS YEAR, I'LL ASK GRANDMA SOME QUESTIONS, JUST LIKE YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE A KID. BENJI, SHE'D LOVE THAT. LISTENING IS ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING GIFTS YOU CAN GIVE. IT MEANS THE WORLD TO PEOPLE AND IT'S FREE. I MEAN, JUST IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF EVERYONE STOPPED AND LISTENED. I THINK WE'D SEE WE'RE NOT NEARLY AS DIFFERENT AS WE THINK. WE'D SEE A LITTLE BIT OF OURSELVES IN THE STORIES OF STRANGERS. PEOPLE MIGHT SHOUT A LITTLE LESS AND LISTEN A LITTLE MORE, BECAUSE WHEN WE TAKE THE TIME TO REALLY LISTEN, WE SEE THAT KINDNESS, COURAGE AND GENEROSITY ARE ALL AROUND US, AND WE KNOW THAT EVERY VOICE MATTERS. [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] CLOSED CAPTIONS BY CAPTIONLINK WWW.CAPTIONLINK.COM