Bat Boy: The Musical by Laurence O'Keefe - Dialogue and Script

Man #1 In a cave many miles to the south Lives a boy born with fangs in his mouth. Sleeping until the fading light, Flying through bloody dreams; When he awakes the summer night is filled with screams. Women You have heard he was born in the bogs. That he feeds on the flies and the frogs. Man #2 You call him "Beast" or "Changeling"; Man #3 Or "Demon Chimpanzee"; Man #4 But we will prove he's no such thing: All He's much like me! And me! Oh, hold me, Bat Boy! Touch me, Bat Boy! Help me through the night. Love me, Bat Boy! Save me, Bat Boy! Make it all turn out all right! Man #2 He was dragged from his home and thrown down At the edge of a coal mining town. Man #5 They stripped him of his dignity, Man #1 They beat him like a gong. Man #3 And he was kicked repeatedly, All And that was wrong! So wrong! Oh Hold the Bat Boy- Woman Won't you hold him! All Touch the Bat Boy- Woman Won't you touch him! All Bring him to the light! Woman Bring him to the light! All Love the Bat Boy- Woman Won't you love him! All Save the Bat Boy- Woman Somebody save him! All Make it all turn out all right! Would no one defend him, protect him, befriend him, would none hear his cry? Woman Yeah, would none hear his cry, y'all? All Or would they detest him, arrest him, *** him? Woman #4 Or just let him die? All You can't just stand by. Man #5 He has suffered and now it's your turn. You are here not to laugh; but to learn. Woman #4 Listen to his ungodly shriek, Watch what they put him through. Men Heed the tale of a filthy freak- All Who's just like you! And you! And you! Ohhh! Hold me Bat Boy (Hold me Bat Boy) Touch me Bat Boy (Touch me Bat Boy) Won't you help me through the night Make it all turn out all right! (Make it all turn out all right!) Love me Bat Boy (Love me Bat Boy) Save me Bat Boy (Save me Bat Boy) I've been calling out your name Come and take away my shame! (Come and take away my shame!) Hold me Bat Boy (Hold me Bat Boy) Touch me Bat Boy (Touch me Bat Boy) You hear me cry when no one hears, Won't you lick away my tears! Love me Bat Boy (Love me Bat Boy) Save me Bat Boy (Save me Bat Boy) Sink your fangs into my soul Only you can make me whole! Hold me Bat Boy Touch me Bat Boy Hold me in your arms tonight! CHRISTIAN CHARITY (Bat Boy is shreiking) Sheriff Evening folks! Shelley Whatcha got? Sheriff Doctor home? Meredith No, he's not. Sheriff When's he back? Meredith An hour or so. Shelley The heck is that? Sheriff Well, I don't know. Meredith What in the world? Shelley Where did you find? Meredith What is he doing? Shelley He's out of his mind! Meredith Is he in pain? Shelley Is he insane? Sheriff Maybe and possibly, let me explain. (Sheriff knocks Bat Boy down with his pistol.) Meredith and Shelley No! Sheriff Aw, heck. Maybe I shouldn'tve done that. But that boy was hoppin' like a scalded dog. Meredith Boy? Sheriff Maybe. Frankly, that's why I'm here. I figure maybe we need a veterinarian to sort this out. I'm hoping Dr. Parker will know what to do. I didn't know where else to take him... Shelley Mom! Meredith Shelley, quiet! Sheriff Can't go to jail, he's underage. Shelley Mom! Meredith Shelley, quiet! Sheriff Folks up at the Med School, bet they'd carve him up or bake him. I'd send the FBI a page, but I don't think we're at that stage- So, here he is folks, he's all yours. Couldn't leave him out of doors, creepin' on all fours. We could always shoot him but that don't seem right to me. 'N I can't rid myself o' my Christian Charity. Shelley Can we see him? Meredith Shelley- get away! Sheriff You listen to your mother, Shelley. You don't want to be near if it wakes up. It bit one of the Taylor kids. Meredith Shelley, don't stare- Shelley, don't poke. What is this, sheriff, some kind of sick joke? Shelley Mom, he's so gross! Mom, can he stay? Sheriff Shel, I was hopin' you'd see it that way. I'm comin' up for re-election. Shelley Mom! Meredith Shelley, quiet! Sheriff I gotta bring this thing to heel. Shelley Mom! Meredith Shelley, quiet! Sheriff A boy with his complexion's gonna meet with some objections, 'N I think I know how folks will feel once they hear this "Bat Child" is for real. Shelley It's a bat child? MOM! We gotta keep it! Meredith All right, sheriff. Dr. Parker has some cages. I'll take care of the boy for you. Sheriff Ah, that's great, Meredith. I can't thank you enough for the favor. And if he turns into a pain, call me, I've got stun guns and a chain Shelley Whoa! Meredith Oh! Sheriff(overlapping) So here he is folks, he's all yours. I couldn't leave him out of doors, creeping on all fours. We may have to put him down- Meredith (overlapping) Don't stare, Shelley- please don't poke. Don't touch him, Shelley, don't provoke. Shelley (overlapping) Mom! Look at him! I know but Mom... Look at him! What's wrong with him? All For now we'll wait and see! Sheriff and Meredith We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity. Sheriff (overlapping) So, here he is folks, he's all yours. Couldn't leave him out of doors, creeping on all fours. Those thunderclouds are closing in- Meredith (overlapping) Don't stare, Shelley, please don't poke. Don't touch him, Shelley, don't provoke! Shelley (overlapping) Mom! Mom! All We can't just let him be. We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity. We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity. Shelley Mom! Meredith Shelley, quiet! UGLY BOY (Bat Boy is shrieking) Shelley Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! shutupshutupshutupshutup! Such an ugly boy... Meredith He's just different. Shelley Like a stinky bony rat. Meredith Well, you wanted to keep him. Shelley I didn't know he'd look like that! Meredith Shelley! Shelley Well, look at him! (Thunder clap) Meredith Oh my, its going to be quite a storm. Shelley Stupid starving freak. Meredith Shelley, that's not nice. Shelley Doesn't have the sense to eat. Meredith We just haven't figured out what he needs. Shelley Dropping dead right at my feet. Meredith Shelley! Shelley Just look at him... Meredith He's just... tired. Shelley That's my mom. See, she cries ev'ry time a stray dog dies. Meredith Well, I feel bad for them. Shelley No one calls. Meredith Sure they call... Shelley No one claims. Meredith Sometimes... Shelley So we put them down and never learn their names... Meredith Well, we can name him, sweetheart. What would you like to call him? Shelley BAT BOY. Meredith Or maybe... Edgar. (calls to him) Ed-gar! Bat Boy (looks at her) Gggnnnnnnwwgwooo? Meredith Look! He likes that name! Edgar it is! Shelley Such an ugly boy. Meredith I'll try to make him something to eat. Shelley Guess we can't just turn him loose. Meredith Stay away from the cage. Shelley I'm afraid he'll reproduce. WATCHA WANNA DO? Rick Your dad's just going to kill it, right? Shelley (Shrugs) So watcha wanna do tonight? Rick Hey there little freak You remember me? We were never introduced properly Hey, you gonna cry? You don't look so tough By the light of day But we ain't gonna *** you right away First we gonna buy you lots o' fancy clothes! And make you clip your toes! And watch you walk around in makeup and pantyhose! Shelley We gonna take you back Out by the railroad track Rick and Shelley And leave your body for the dogs as a midnight snack Rick Your papa was a pig! Shelley Your mama was a snake! Rick We're gonna snap you like a twig and dump you in the lake! Shelley We gonna chain your arm To an atomic bomb And make you take your grandmama to the senior prom! (Shelley makes hip-hop stratching noises, or tries anyway) What? Rick Dude, you are so hot. (to Bat Boy) But first I'll show you what I wanna do tonight I'm here to bounce it with my crew tonight We'll make sweet love in front of you tonight! Shelley Ew! Rick Uh huh! Uh huh! Uh huh! Uh huh! Shelley You know my mom is right upstairs tonight Rick That chick is fully unawares tonight And if she catches up, who cares tonight...? Shelley Me! Rick Uh huh! Uh huh! Shelley Uh huh! Uh huh! Rick Uh huh! Uh huh! Shelley Uh huh! Uh huh! (They make out. Bat Boy imitates their noises.) Bat Boy A ha a ha a ha a hah! A ha a ha a ha a hah! Rick You freak! Can't you mind your own business, Bat Boy? Shelley Stay away from the cage! Rick What...you wanna bite me like you bit my sister? You wanna piece of me? Tough guy?.... (Bat Boy suddenly jerks his head at Rick and screams) That little freak. Did you see that? Shelley I told you Rick Why you trin' to step to me, little creep? Are you throwin down with me, little freak? Watcha gonna do? Shelley Rick... Rick Come on little coward Let's get it on I'm gonna make you wish you were never born! When I'm through with you Rick I'll show you how I spill your brain tonight! I'll run you over like a train tonight I'll put you in a world o' pain tonight So come on, come on, come on, come on I shoulda brought my loaded gun tonight! But stompin' you will be more fun tonight! You're gonna pay for what you done tonight! So wooo-eeee-yaaaah! I'm takin' out my bowie knife tonight I'm gonna end your worthless life tonight! I'm makin' you my prison wife tonight! Aaaaaaaah! Come on!     Shelley Rick! Stop it! Help! Mom! Mom! Help! Mom, Rick's being a pill! Omigod... Mom! A HOME FOR YOU Meredith Poor little person with eyes so sad, where in the dark did they hide you? What have you seen that could teach you that haunted stare? Poor little creature, it makes me mad, to think of the childhood denied you but give me a chance and we'll make it all right, I swear. 'Cause we're not here to harm you or make you feel ashamed. You can make mistakes here and you won't be blamed. So show us how to help you, and if we pull you through, then we will find a home for you. Home is a word that you should have learned. Home is where people accept you. People who treat you with love, which is awfully rare. Family's a place where your trust is earned by folks who are happy they kept you. We'll find a family who won't let you down, I swear. 'Cause we're not here to harm you, or- Bat Boy Oo Oo Oo Oo Oooo Meredith Oo oo Oo oo Oo oo? Bat Boy Oo oo oo oo ooO. Both Oo Ooo OOO ooo Ooo ooOoo- Ooo oooO Meredith No, we're not here to harm you and make you feel ashamed, You can make mistakes here and you won't be blamed! So teach us how to love you, and once the night is through, then we have have a home for you. So show me what to give you, see, look- I made a stew. And somehow if you make it through, then this might be a home for you. Bat Boy Oo oo Oo Oo oo! ANOTHER DEAD COW Maggie Boys, it's time for you to wake up and smell the music. We obviously got ourselves a predicament. Bud All right! I admit it! Bossie's thin as fishin' pole Ned Bessie's flat as a flounder Roy Little Bonnie, God rest her soul Was barely one quarter-pounder Bud I checked my bovine manual And I find no definition Bud and Ned Even this revised edition Does not mention malnutrition! Roy Gussie died of a hacking cough Clara drowned in the feeding trough All Three Why would the Lord wanna carry them off? All but Bud Dang! We got another dead cow And the rent is overdue Bud Dang! We got another dead cow We're facin' poverty All but Roy Got another dead cow And we're up to twenty-two Roy Better make that twenty-three! All but Ned Sweet Jesus, now I'm petrified Ned Sweet Jesus, now I'm petrified They're gonna reposess my double-wide! All Got another dead cow And I'm thinking of blaming - Maggie - You wanna be watching that kind of talk, let's not go there. Let's guide this train of thought back towards the depot. We gotta figure out what's wrong with these cows. All Something's making 'em Cough and wheeze Slowly driving them to their knees Bud It's gotta be some contagious disease! All A plague! All but Maggie We got another dead cow And we don't know why they die... Maggie We got another dead cow And we don't know why they die... We've got to find a link All but Bud We got another dead cow And apocalypse draws nigh Bud We got another dead cow And apolcalypse draws nigh You went to college, think! All but Lorraine Well, something's bound to raise a flag - Lorraine Like that little bat boy they found in the bag?... (pause) All Got another dead co - .... Got another d - .... Got ano - ... G - .... Got another dead cow But I'm tellin' you now I am makin' a vow By the sweat of my brow Gonna figger out who and what and how And why! Roy It is like they've been bled... Ned, Maggie, Lorraine ...why... Bud Do you think Dr. Parker will put it down? Ned, Maggie, Roy, Bud ...why... Lorraine Well, Dr. Parker's a good man. Bud, Maggie, Roy ...why... Lorraine He'll just kill it. All Why! DANCE WITH ME, DARLING Meredith We have to let him live. I'm begging you. As your wife. Dr. Parker You haven't been a wife to me in years. Meredith I could be. Dr. Parker ...Tonight? Meredith Uh... Dr. Parker Tonight? Meredith ...Let me get you a drink. Dr. Parker But there was a time, you know When you would dance with me Once long ago, there was love in your eyes You were so light in my arms We danced five hours or more We were the last on the floor With the sun soon to rise.... The band played one final song And you were humming along Oh, dance with me, darling We haven't danced Since I don't know when Do you remember that song, Meredith? Dance with me, darling Won't you embrace me Kiss me in case we don't meet again I've heard a rumor Barely a whisper Claiming that we were through So dance with me, darling Show them that it's not true Meredith So you'll do it? Dr. Parker So you'll do it? Meredith Yes. Dr. Parker (to Bat Boy) Did you hear that?  I guess that makes us "pals". 'Cause not I can't say no Tonight she smiled at me It just goes to show Someone up there still cares I prayed this day would arrive When she'd return to my arms Now if I keep you alive I can join her upstairs I see a way to proceed So we both can get what we need. Oh The Voices in Dr. Parker's Head Dance with me, darling Doo dooby doo doo Doo dooby doo... Dr. Parker Dance with me, darling La da da da, Da da da da da da da da Oh, dance with me, darling Da da da da da Da da da da da Da da da da Surely it's more than moonlight and music Surely it's more than wine Dr. Parker and Voices So dance with me, darling Show them that you're still mine! (Dr. Parker cuts the throat of the goose and pours the blood into a bowl. He forces Bat Boy's head into the bowl, making him drink deeply. Lightening. Thunder.) Voices Ah ah ah ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah ah ah Aaaaaaahhhhh! Dr. Parker Surely the gods must want us together Don't fight their grand design No, dance with me, darling... Voices Ah ah ah ah ah... Dr. Parker Dance with me, darling... Voices Ah ah ah ah ah... Dr. Parker And be forever mine! Voices Ah ah ah ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah ah ah Aaaaaaahhhhh! MRS. TAYLOR'S LULLABY Ruthie Monster! Monster! Mrs. Taylor Hush, baby. Ruthie Bat monster! Bat monster! Bat monster! Mrs. Taylor Sleep little Ruthie baby no one's gonna hurt you, Sheriff's gonna have that little freak destroyed, Or if he's a coward and he won't protect my children, Mama's gonna get the sheriff unemployed. Sleep little Ruthie baby don't you fear no Bat Boy, Mama's gonna hunt him down and bring him here. Then you can skin him and wear him as a jacket, and we'll string a necklace with a dried bat ear. SHOW YOU A THING OR TWO Meredith You are such a smart boy! We'll turn you into a proper young man in no time. Here is a cat... Bat Boy Hee ba za cat. Meredith There is a goose. Bat Boy Zi ba za goose. Meredith This is a rat. Bat Boy Zi bi za wat. Meredith And that is a moose. Bat Boy Ba ba ba ba boose. Meredith The cat crept up behind the goose but then away it flew. Bat Boy Flu Meredith The rat was jealous of a moose who loved a kangaroo. Bat Boy Ru. Meredith The cat and rat gave up and found a flat in Timbuktu. Bat Boy Tu. Meredith And now- Bat Boy And now- Meredith Review- Bat Boy Review- Meredith We read the whole way through! Bat Boy Caa, goose, Raa, moose, Kangaroow, tibuktoow! Meredith Understand? Bat Boy Yes I do! Meredith Good for you! I'll show you a thing or two Bat Boy Two. Meredith I'll teach you to name it. Bat Boy Nane it. Meredith Sure its tough but you'll tame it. Bat Boy Tane it. (chews book) Meredith You'll soon complete it and- wait, don't eat it. Bat Boy Oh. Meredith I'll show you the way its done, then I'll leave it to you. And whaddaya know, you may show me a thing or two. Shelley Hi Mom! Meredith Hello, Shelley. How was school, dear? Shelley It was great! How's Bat Boy doing today? Meredith Edgar is coming along nicely. We were just watching Masterpeice Theatre on PBS. Shelley How do you do? Bat Boy How do you do? Shelley Lovely, and you? Bat Boy Lovely, and you? Shelley Won't you sit down? Bat Boy Won't you sit down? Shelley Don't mind if I do. Bat Boy Don't mind if I do. Shelley The weather would be perfect if it weren't quite so hot. Bat Boy Hot. Meredith I fear we're out of sandwiches, that butler should be shot. Bat Boy Shot. Shelley/Meredith But won't you stay the night we're having dinner on the yacht! Bat Boy Yacht? Meredith Now ready- Bat Boy What? Meredith Or not, Bat Boy Not! Meredith Show me what you've got. Bat Boy Bow deep, kiss hand, pull chair, look bland. Pour the tea, pass the jam Meredith Are we clear? Bat Boy Yes, ma'am! (Bat Boy spills the tea and all dishes go flying. He panics. Meredith calms him.) Meredith I'll show you a thing or two. Don't cry, it's okay, dear. Rome's not built in a day, dear. Bat Boy Hah? Meredith A bit more schooling, a lot less drooling. Meredith/Shelley Easy does it, that's how its done. Soon you'll pick up your cue, Then whaddaya know, you may show us a thing or two! Dr. Parker Honey, I'm home! Shelley Hi, Daddy! How was work? Dr. Parker Great! How is Edgar coming along? Meredith This week's been a little rocky, dear. Shelley We're trying flash cards. Bat Boy Champs-Elysees? Meredith Parthenon. Bat Boy Great White Way? Shelley Everglades. Bat Boy Berlin Wall? Dr. Parker Autobahn. Bat Boy Carnegie Hall? Meredith Ice Capades. Bat Boy Pentagon? Shelley Golden Gate. Bat Boy Amazon? Dr. Parker Rio Grande. Bat Boy Taj Majal! Shelley Empire State. Bat Boy Wailing Wall? Meredith Disneyland. (Bat Boy whines in defeat) Dr. Parker Perhaps I should have a word with the boy. Let me talk to him over here for a moment! I'll show you a thing or two. Sure, kid, you feel weary. Head's all fuzzy and bleary. I know you're leery. But here's my theory. Keep sluggin'- that's how it's done. Soon you're bound to break through! And whaddaya know, you may- Bat Boy Wait a minute! Dr. Parker/Meredith Whaddaya know, you may- Bat Boy I think I've got it! Dr. Parker/Meredith/Shelley Whaddaya know, you may- Bat Boy Eureka! Dr. Parker/Meredith/Shelley Show me! Bat Boy Brooklyn Bridge, Lenin's Tomb, Watergate, Rainbow Room! Ruby Ridge, Liberty Bell, Bering Strait, Bates Motel! Spartacus, Fargo, And Anchors Aweigh! Love Story, Key Largo, Remains Of The Day! Puccini, Otello, Bellini, Wayne Shorter and Elvis Costello! Shelley Mom, Edgar just finished his essay for his high school equivalency exam! Bat Boy I will discuss Copernicus who ruined all our fun, And showed we're just a ball of dust that limps around the sun. Which brings me then to Darwin, when he bent us out of shape As he began to prove that man is nephew to an ape. We were annoyed when Doctor Freud declared it's not a soul, It is your blind subconsious mind that's always in control. But I submit that any twit if he had eyes to see, Can seize his fate; self-educate; and turn out just like me! (All Cheer) All Shirts, shoes, pants, vest. Can't go out there underdressed. Collar pressed, look your best. And won't they be impressed! 'Cause: I'll/He'll show 'em a thing or two! I was dirty and rowdy (rowdy) Even dressed a bit dowdy (dowdy) But now say: Others Howdy! All To a summa *** laude! I'll/He'll show 'em the way it's done! But no applause I'm/He's not through! Bat Boy I'm gonna Vince Van Gogh'em All And Henry Thoreau'em Bat Boy And Plato- All And Cato- Bat Boy And Edgar Allen Poe'em All Gonna Jean Cocteau'em Bat Boy And Jacques Cousteau'em All Fellini- Bat Boy Houdini- All And Michaelangelo'em Bat Boy Gonna Jackie O'em All Marilyn Monroe'em Bat Boy Botticelli- All Machiavelli- Bat Boy Larry, Curly and Moe'em And whaddaya know, once you- All Learn to crawl-ah Bat Boy You suddenly grow to be- All Ten feel tall-ah Bat Boy So buddy I'm going to- All -show 'em all a thing or two. Bat Boy Or two! Or two! All Show 'em a thing or two! CHRISTIAN CHARITY (REPRISE) Sheriff Settle down, folks! Now, Dr. Parker, we thought maybe you could just take the boy out of town for the weekend. It's important for the revival. Dr. Parker I can assure all of you as a veterinarian that the boy is not a danger. Sheriff It's not about these dumb elections Dr. Parker Never said it was. Sheriff Don't want the cart before the horse Dr. Parker Of course, nobody does Sheriff But some of my constit'chens claim he's skulkin' Through their kitchens And soon I may have no recourse But to enforce the law - Bud With deadly force! Lorraine So there it is, Doc Spelled out plain Maggie You will take no action That could derail this train MAggie, Roy, Sheriff, Ned, Lorraine You should just be grateful We don't hang him from a tree So don't you go testin' our Christian charity! So ship him out, Doc Don't care where Take the long way home Because Roy He's foulin' the air! Maggie, Roy, Sheriff, Ned, Lorraine Doc, we need a quarantine We want a guarantee He can't be allowed to come So shape up and show us Some Christian -       Bud So are we clear? You hear?  Yeah! Don't you go testin' our Christian charity! So ship him out, Doc Don't care where We think that's fair I swear! Doc, we need a quarantine We want a guarantee... He'll cause pandemonium! So shape up and show us Some Christian - Dr. Parker Alright! I give you my word. Edgar will not attend the revival. Sheriff Oh, now that's just great. I knew you'd be reasonable about this. All Thank God you'll be showin' some Christian charity And some dang sense A HOME FOR YOU (REPRISE) Bat Boy What is it that people...say about me? Dr. Parker People can be very cruel. Bat Boy But I'm not here to harm them I only want to learn They all walk in sunlight I deserve a turn I want to know my neighbours I'm not some garden gnome Why can't I make this world my home? It's torture to sit here idly while I'm being slandered in public. I can only imagine what they're saying. Dr. Parker We're not saying that you can't go out sometime, just not - Bat Boy Something was troubling me recently Watching the world from this table Reading and dreaming and gen'rally growing mold And today I looked up just in time to see This medical program on cable Astonished, I ran to the mirror, and there, behold! Look here, I've got a navel! It means I'm someone's child The doctor must have tied it While my mother smiled... Which means I may be human Complete with family tree And if you let me go and see This world may be a home for me! COMFORT AND JOY Dr. Parker You little creep, you're gonna pay. I won't be shoved out of the way! Oh no- Voices in his Head Oh no! Dr. Parker Oh no- Voices in his Head Oh no! Dr. Parker And I could make a solid case For smashing in your filthy face. Voices in his Head Kill him! Dr. Parker Shut up! Voices in his Head Kill him! Dr. Parker Shut up! I've got a spade and a burlap sack! Voices in his Head Kill him now! Dr. Parker And there's a hole in the yard out back! Voices in his Head Kill him now! Dr. Parker But if I fill it she'll ask me "why" Voices in his Head Kill him now! Dr. Parker So I've got one thing to do before you die! Voices in his Head Now! Now! Dr. Parker WAIT! She will see what you are, I will win back my bride She herself will decide To get rid of the boy! She'll admit she was wrong, She'll return before long She'll be singing a song Full of comfort and joy. Voices in his Head Comfort and joy- Comfort and joy! Dr. Parker Comfort and joy! Voices in his Head Comfort and joy- Comfort and joy! Kill the Bat Boy- Kill the Bat Boy! Meredith Oh, Honey, I apologize: You've really opened up my eyes. Shelley No way! Meredith Yes way! Shelley No way! Meredith Yes way! I'm laying out your Sunday best Now brush your teeth and get some rest. All right? Shelley No way? Meredith All right! Shelley All right! Meredith Now when they see him they'll make a fuss. Shelley Is that true? Meredith We gotta smile like we just don't care! Shelley That's not fair! Meredith They put their pants on the same as us! Shelley Yes they do... Meredith So just imagine them in their underwear! Shelley And then this time I swear... Both He will show that he's not What they're terrified of. He will show them a love They can never destroy! If we prove that they're wrong They'll come round before long And we'll all sing a song Full of comfort and joy! Chorus Comfort and joy! Yeah! Comfort and joy! Meredith and Shelley Comfort and Joy! Chorus Comfort and Joy! Comfort and Joy! Dr. Parker Stop the Bat Boy! (Town enters with hubbub) Sheriff Settle down, people! We want to make sure the revival goes off without a hitch, so let's go over the schedule. Listen up: From nine to twelve he does the healing... Ned Sheriff... Maggie You hush up! Sheriff At noon he'll bless the fields and plows... Mr. Dillon Tractors too? Maggie Hush up! Sheriff Then lunch is from one thirty- Ned Sheriff, what about my Gertie! Maggie Hush! Sheriff Well as it seems that time allows, three to ten: The Blessing Of The Cows! All Yes! The Blessing Of The Cows! Boy, that preachers a pro! Gives a heckuva show! Lorraine Just like Seigfried and Roy! All He'll bring comfort and joy! So if nothing goes wrong, Yes, if nothing goes wrong, Lord, if nothing goes wrong, We'll have comfort and... Comfort and Joy! Comfort and Joy! Lord, we need some comfort and joy! Any means you'd care to employ, Won't you send us comfort and joy! Bat Boy Dear God: I'm still not sure how people pray. Or what one does with one's hands. But please, my thirst grows every day. I feel it burn in my glands. Please won't you change the way I am, or prove I'm human underneath. Or if you just don't give a damn- (points to fangs) You could at leatht get rid of theethe! If I can't prove them wrong, show me where I belong, for a hunger so strong kills all comfort and joy. If you'd make me complete. I'll avoid all red meat, I'll eat nothing but soy to have comfort and joy... Dr. Parker By next week you'll be gone, six feet under my lawn. I'll have nobody toy with my comfort and joy... Meredith/Shelley He will come out a champ. It's just like summer camp. They'll get used to the boy, He'll bring comfort and joy... Townfolk Lord, please give us your word. Cure the plague on the herd. We don't mean to annoy but send comfort and joy... Bat Boy Comfort and joy! Comfort and joy! Dr. Parker Stop the Bat Boy! Stop the Bat Boy! All Comfort and joy! Comfort and JOY! (Lights up on Hospital room) Ruthie Dr.Parker, what are you doing here? Dr. Parker Don't worry, Ruthie. The Bat Boy will pay for what he's done to you. We're all going to miss you very much. (Dr.Parker injects Ruthie and she dies.) All AAHHHHH! A JOYFUL NOISE Rev. Hightower Oh the sheep has returned to the fold, and the prodigal son has come in from the cold! So like the prophets were told in the days of old- Make a joyful noise my soul! Choir (mumbling) Make a joyful noise my soul... Rev. Hightower Oh, the lion will lie down with the lamb, and the sinner will walk hand in hand with Abraham. And he will cry to the sky, Jesus here I am! Make a joyful noise my soul! - - - Hello? Choir ...ful noise, my soul... Rev. Hightower and Choir Make some noise! Make some noise! Make some noise! My soul is whole! Sing it loud! Sing it proud! Sing it strong, all night long! Make a joyful noise- a joyful noise my soul! Rev. Hightower Now, I know there's somebody out there. Someone who needs healing. I can feel your distress! You've got a sin... within. Step forward! Let the holy ghost heal you! He's putting a fire under your seat now. No fear. Who wants the healing? Bat Boy I want to be healed! Rev. Hightower Sweet wounded Jesus. LET ME WALK AMONG YOU Bat Boy I know you hate me. But if you could only see me the way I see all of you... Look at all your faces. Children, husbands, wives. God, you're all so beautiful. I envy you your lives. Going to work, building your schools, throwing a football or swimming in pools. Out in the sun, living by rules, I could learn how if you'd teach me the tools... I know I'm strange, so help me change, please. Let me walk among you. Let me show my face. I could learn to live with you, I can earn my place. I will move a mountain; your wish is my command. And some day you may want to shake my hand. I will paint your houses. I'll milk your cows at dawn. I will do your laundry and I will mow your lawn. Let me file your taxes. I am a CPA! And maybe then you'll shake my hand someday. I can grow a champion rose, or teach a yoga class. I myself designed these clothes. I can do my part. Must I die then with my nose still pressed against the glass? But if you'd shake my hand, well, thats a start. Yes, thats a start. Look in your heart! And let me join your carpool- No! Let me drive the car! Let me throw a barbeque or join you at the bar. Come and watch the ballgame, I'll bake a pecan pie! And I will shake your hand when you drop by. Oh, bring me to your churches and met me look inside, Bring me to your weddings and let me kiss the bride! Thank you all for listening... that's... all I had to say. But please will someone shake my hand? Won't somebody take my hand? Let just one person shake my hand! A JOYFUL NOISE (REPRISE) All Okay Bat Boy Okay? All Okay! Bat Boy Okay? All Okay! Bat Boy Okay? All OKAY! Praise God, the sheep has returned to the fold. And the prodigal son has come in from the cold! Bat Boy So like the prophets were told All In the days of old! Make a joyful noise, my soul! Make a joyful noise, my soul! Bat Boy and All Make some noise! (Make some noise!) Make some noise! (Make some noise!) Hallelujah- my soul is whole! Sing it loud! (Sing it proud) Sing it strong- all night long! All Make a joyful noise- a joyful noise my soul! A joyful noise my soul! A joyful noise my soul! A joyful noise- my soul! AMEN! THREE BEDROOM HOUSE Meredith Out! Out! Out! Time to get out! Shelley Out? Meredith Out! Gotta just rip out this page, bend the bars of this cage and run free! Shelley Free? Meredith Free! No one but Edgar, you and me! Gotta go find him and move on- Both And be gone before the dawn! Meredith Gotta get checkbooks, Shelley Checkbooks, Meredith Car keys, Shelley Car keys, Meredith Passports, Shelley Passports, Meredith Then goodbye! Shelley Toothbrush, Meredith Toothbrush, Shelley Blankets, Meredith Blankets, Shelley Daddy? Meredith No. Shelley Why? Meredith Shelley, listen to me. What do you do when you blow out a tire? Shelley Tire? Meredith Trash it! Some holes you'll never patch. Shelley You'll never patch? Meredith And who do you save when your house is on fire? Shelley Fire? Meredith Don't bring the guy who lit the match! Shelley Who lit the match! Meredith So we'll get a post office box, And we're gonna change all the locks, And we're gonna stay with my cousins a while. Then we'll get a three bedroom house with a white picket fence and a gun and a lawyer, so smile! Gonna get a homeowner's loan; Shelley Could... Meredith Gonna get an unlisted phone; Shelley Good! Meredith Gonna get away from this town gone insane! Shelley Kinda thought they would... Meredith Then we'll get a three bedroom house Shelley A beautiful three bedroom house Meredith Affordable Both Three bedroom house Meredith With a great big pit bull on a chain! Shelley Okay... Okay, Okay, Okay, Okay Right! Right! Right! Mother, you're right! Meredith Right? Shelley Right! Still kinda sad that my dad lost what marbles he had but we're free! Meredith Free! Shelley Free! I'll get a brand new fake I.D! Meredith And if we lack for anything I can hock this stupid ring! Both And we'll get a post office box And we'll get a front gate that locks! Shelley And we'll get away from those ignorant pigs! Both And we'll get a three bedroom house! Meredith A livable three bedroom house Shelley A lovable Both Three bedroom house Meredith And some plastic surgery and wigs! Shelley For who? Meredith For all of us... Shelley Right... Both And Edgar will soon have Shelley A garden to walk in Meredith His own driver's license Shelley A car- NO! A van! Both And Edgar will soon have Shelley A ballroom to dance in Meredith A good dental plan! Shelley Cause Edgar will soon have a home... Meredith Yes, Edgar will soon have a home... Both A heck of a home! And we'll get a post office box And we'll get a front gate that locks Meredith And big electrified fence all around! Shelley Whoa! Meredith And we'll get a three bedroom house- Shelley Or even a two bedroom house- Meredith No, honey a three bedroom house- Shelley Mom... do you think Edgar would marry me? (Pause) Meredith No, honey a three bedroom house, A three bedroom house In a concrete shelter ten feet underground! Shelley Mom! I want to marry Edgar! I'm in love with him! Meredith No, Shelley. Shelley What? Meredith You're not in love with Edgar! Shelley Yes, I am, Mom. I love him so much. And I want to be with him forever- Meredith No, Shelley! It's hideous! It's not right! Shelley You're just like the rest of them! Meredith You don't understand- Shelley! NO! What about the three bedroom house? The three bedroom house! Who do you save when your house is on fire... Your House Is On Fire... Your House Is On Fire! CHILDREN, CHILDREN Pan Children, welcome home To where we all began. Alone and face to face Let us erase the fall of man: Let the frogs pause in their song, Let the crickets hold their breath, Let the trees stand still as death And tell the mosquitoes not to bite. Now we've been hoping for so long, So fill the sky with fireflies. So they can see into each other's eyes And then they'll get it right... Oh, Children, Children don't be scared! The moon is up and we're all prepared! Children, take a look around- We're on sacred ground! And what we thought we lost at last is found. Now let the turtle and the dove Animals Ooh, sha la la! Pan Let the lion and the lamb Animals Ooh, sha la la! Oooh, Aaah! Pan Let the owl and wolf and ram embrace All Across the countryside! Pan Fur and feathers making love Animals Sha la la! Pan Paws and claws and jaws and beaks. All Let the song go on for weeks and weeks To bless this boy and bless this bride! Oh, Children, Children Don't be scared! The moon is up and we're all prepared! Children, take a look around, hear that joyful song! For what we thought was lost at last is found. Sha la la la la la! The Earth's asleep, time to wake it. If you have clothing, forsake it. We want you breathless and naked. Choose your mate; And then let's see what we create! HEY! (Dance break with animal noises) Pan Draw near, my dearly beloved, No preist, No church- but what of it? Take root, take flight, I command it! Here we stand- All Here we stand! Pan So no more stalling- take her hand! Oh, Children, Children All Children! Pan Don't be scared. All Don't be scared! Pan The moon is up and All -We're all prepared! Children, take a look around Pan We're on sacred ground, and hear that joyful sound! For what we thought was, All What we thought was lost at last is found! Found! Found! FOUND! All HEY! INSIDE YOUR HEART Shelley It's okay. I'm still here. Your secret's out, but don't fear. 'Cause I don't care what people say. Once I thought you were weird; But soon my doubts disappeared. I think you're normaller than they. Now you're scared; you're in need. Clearly someone has to bleed. I'll repay all you gave- I will give you what you crave. Let me prove I love you; let me become part of you. I see no better way to start! Now I can live inside your heart. Bat Boy You don't know what you're saying- Shelley Yes I do- Bat Boy Go on, go home, forget me- Shelley It's for you- Bat Boy I'll hurt you, I'm not playing- Please don't! Shelley No, I knew they when I- Both Let me- Bat Boy No! Shelley I want to- Both Please- Shelley Yes! Bat Boy No! It's too bizarre! Both Just- Bat Boy Go! Shelley I'm not afraid! It's no disease, it's who you are! Bat Boy It murders everything I touch. A screaming fire will fill you. You'll beg me please to kill you- I could not let you be my crutch! Oh, God, I feel my hunger grow- Go! Go on, go home, forget me... Shelley No. Such a lovely boy... look at what you've done to me, Woke me up and set me free, so look at me. Such a lovely boy... this way you'll be mine at last. And I'll be fine: I heal real fast. So look at me... Look at me! Bat Boy You don't know what you're saying- Shelley Shut up, that's it, I'm staying! Both I will shield you from harm Come spend your life on my arm. I see no better way to start. Let me prove I love you; Let me become part of you. Now we shall never be apart. I'll always live inside your heart! APOLOGY TO A COW Bat Boy I'm sorry, friend, I have to. I know, I know, it's rude I shouldn't work my problems out with food. I'm sorry pal, I've got to. It's either me or you. Fight or be beaten! Eat or be eaten! Look what it makes me do. It's stronger than it was and this is what the bat child does. Deep in the cave under miles of stone, I knew no word for sad. Singing to echoes and all alone, needed no mom or dad. I'd never dreamed of the world above; I'd never seen the sky. And yet I was content; I never wondered why. I never knew such a word as rage. I learned that from you. You locked your boy up inside a cage, and all the while you knew. Why bother giving me dad's old shirt, why even intervene? Why bother washing off all the dirt, if I am still unclean? You said you'd never hurt me, mom, whatever might occur! So: How could you dare, mom, Make me "aware", mom, Teach me to care, mom, and then deny me her! We had a chance at happiness, blissfully unaware... We had a love we thought you'd bless, we didn't have a prayer. 'Cause you had to come destroy our love Like everything else I had! Yet still I am content and I am not the least bit mad... No, I'm not here to harm you; I only want to KILL! You shall have your monster- I shall drink my fill! At last I am embracing my bloody destiny! Dear mom and dad, this face will be The last thing that you ever see! Revenge will be a home for me For me For me For ME! FINALE: I Imagine You're Upset/I Am Not A Boy Bat Boy How could you tell me I was human, when you knew me to be a beast? Meredith Look inside yourself, Edgar. You'll see a soul. Does a beast have a soul? Bat Boy A soul? Is that what you call it, that empty pit, that wound where my heart should be? You dug this hole in me bit by bit, nothing is left of me! Give me one reason why I should live. See, you have no reply. The world is man or beast, but I am both or neither. So goodbye! Sheriff I'm sorry, Edgar, really am. Sorry to hear your life's a sham. Still, it doesn't have to end this way! So put these on and don't be cute. A van's en route from the institute. He gets in it, no one dies today. Mob Sheriff, you idiot, why do you pity it? Look at the blood on him- why don't you kill him! What kinda man are you? What are you gonna do? We oughtta kill you too! Why don't you kill him! GET HIM! GET HIM! Bat Boy Don't deny the obvious- such an ugly boy. Everywhere you put me, look what I destroy! Mob Shoot him! Stop him! Jesus, Sheriff! Shoot him! Kill him! Kill him! Do it! Bat Boy Not strung up by farmers or caged in by police. If you're not a coward, give me peace. Mob Parker, you idiot, why do you pity it? Look at the blood on him- God, you're both evil! What kinda man are you? What are you gonna do? Parker, he wants you to! Kill him or we will! Bat Boy Coward. Dr. Parker I'm sorry. Bat Boy You know... One thing alone saved me from despair, back in my feral stage. Shelley Edgar... Bat Boy Once in a while she would meet my stare. Then I'd forget the cage. Meredith Edgar, don't! Bat Boy But surely her smile wasn't meant for me. Shelley Edgar no! Bat Boy Easier to dismiss. But, tonight she kissed me, here. (General gasp) Bat Boy Tonight she gave me this. (He takes out Shelley's handkerchief) I smell her perfume and her sweat... Dr. Parker Oh my God... Townfolk Jesus! Bat Boy Look what a gift she gave me- Dr. Parker Is it true? Bat Boy Almost enough to save me. Shelley Yes! Bat Boy And I imagine you're upset... Dr. Parker Oh my God! Bat Boy But I would kill for her again! Mob Stop him! Kill him! Bat Boy And do you know what she did then? Mob Stop! Bat Boy She offered me her vein. Mob No! Bat Boy She offered me her blood! Mob God! Bat Boy She offered me everything! (Dr. Parker puts a knife to Bat Boy's throat. Meredith stops him.) Dr. Parker Meredith, I'm sorry. All of this is me. Meredith Thomas, please. Dr. Parker (overlapping) I can't bear to look at him. You are all I see. His eyes, Meredith, he has your eyes. It hurts too much to put behind me... the way I lost you. Meredith (overlapping) Thomas, don't. Please, oh Thomas, don't deny the obvious, leave the past behind. We can start again, love. We have both been blind. Crowd Parker, damn you... Parker, you do it now... Meredith Thomas, I forgive you. I know, my love, I know. Dr. Parker And every day his eyes remind me. Crowd Now! Now! Now! Meredith Thomas, come here. Thomas, let him go! Dr. Parker Edgar! Are you hungry? (Bat Boy, wounded, falls to Shelley's arms) Shelley Oh, Edgar! My dear, sweet boy... Bat Boy I am not a boy. I am an animal. (He dies) HOLD ME, BAT BOY (Reprise) Shelley In a cave many miles to the south Lived a boy born with fangs in his mouth. He never knew what he was worth. I could not stop his fall. But in his precious hours on Earth, he taught us all. Maggie Love your neighbor, Rick Forgive, Institute Man Keep your vows. Bud and Ned And a mountain's no place to raise cows. Sheriff Revenge is something God forbids, Bud To scapegoat folk's is wrong, Mrs. Taylor's Kids And don't kill Mrs.Taylor's kids. Meredith Let go the fears to which you cling, Meredith/Dr. Parker And through your tears you'll hear him sing, Meredith/Dr. Parker/Shelley Lift up your ears and join his song! Meredith/Dr. Parker/Shelley/Townfolk And join his song! And join his song! And join his song! All Aaaaah! Hold your Bat Boy, Touch your Bat Boy No more need to hide! Know your Bat Boy, Love your Bat Boy Don't deny your beast inside! Ah, ah- Aaaaaa! Aaaaa! Aaaaaaaaaaah!