Internet *** - Lyrics - Da Vinci's Notebook

Da Vinci's Notebook was a comedic a cappella singing group. Former Artists-in-Residence at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, they performed specials on Comedy Central and PBS, and spent time as the "house band" on Washington radio's WBIG-FM. They were also regular guests on the nationally syndicated Bob and Tom Radio Show.

Back in the not-too-distant past When I would need a quick repast Or a temporary break from my agenda Off to the bedroom I would head Pull out the Playboy from 'neath the bed And sneak a peek at all the portraits of pudenda My alternatives were slim If I tried to find another source for sin I'd have to hang out with the weirdos in the back room of my local video store But last month I finally made the call I got a brand new cable modem installed And it opened up the floodgates on a whole new universe of Internet *** (Internet ***) Roman *** scenes (Internet ***) dominatrix queens (Internet ***) girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep (Internet ***) gross anatomy (Internet ***) Pam and Tommy Lee (Internet ***) when you're given so much to choose from, who has time to sleep? After my girlfriend goes to sleep Then I get out of bed and down the hall I creep So I can hunker down and wallow in depravity until 3:00 or 4:00 You'll always find me in that same tableau Silhouetted by my monitor's warm glow And absorbing all the bounty from the cornucopia of Internet *** (Internet ***) barely legal teens (Internet ***) naughty figurines (Internet ***) geriatric German grandmas spanking Spanish men (Internet ***) *** Asian art (Internet ***) guys with extra parts (Internet ***) I don't think I'm ever going to see the sun again (Internet ***) melon-love.com (Internet ***) there's my neighbor's mom (Internet ***) bikers wearing diapers chasing nurses dressed like Smurfs (Internet ***) Maison l'Esclavage (Internet ***) un, deux, trois menage (Internet ***) every kind of *** from every corner of the Earth