I Let My Trolls Give Me a Makeover - Mashable humor
Internet trolls are the worst. No one knows that more than Mashable reporter Heather Dockray. Every time she appears in a video, some commenters feel obligated to tell her she looks like a "dude" and that she's "not a real woman." Normally she ignores them, but this time, she listened. Watch as New York drag queen Glace Chase gives Heather a makeover. Full story: ****** ****** Also, every time you leave a comment, a kitten happily purrs itself to sleep. Let us know what you like, or even love, in the comments below. We want to hear from you! Mashable is a leading global media company that informs, inspires and entertains the digital generation. ******
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bI love being a journalist. One of the best parts of being a writer is the feedback you
get from readers. But lately I started to detect a shift. More and more, my readers
were telling me I couldn't be a good writer because I look like "a woman who was like a dude."
"Why aren't women a woman anymore?" Good question.
So I decided to take their comments
seriously and do a makeover and become their version of a real woman.
So I reached out to someone who understood femininity better than anyone else: Glace Chase, a power bottom
drag queen with legendary *** lips.
I'm a tour guide. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm a working wife and mother.
Heather, we are going to work you out. We're gonna get you cleaned up and then
we are gonna to go to brunch.
To kick off my journey we headed to the gym where
I could work on my hot new lady bod.
It was a hard workout especially because my body is half dead.
But Glace pushed me to my limits. On the bike!
On the bike!
I'm not strong enough for this. I'm not ready for this.
*** you're not.
My back is killing me.
Mimosas. ***. Mimosas. ***.
Beautiful sweetheart, you're looking great.
But I couldn't just stop there. So I headed over to Beach Bum tanning to get the beach *** I'd always wanted.
I'm not sure I was fully prepared. It felt a little bit like a gas chamber.
It felt a little like a cancer shower. It did not feel good.
It's an improvement, sweetheart! It's an improvement.
Really? I feel like I smell like a sewer rat.
Well, you do--
I asked Glace to give me a full hair and makeup makeover. She wanted to keep my makeup muted
and my look toned but I encouraged Glace to push past convention.
Yes, I look like a lesbian ventriloquist dummy
but this is what the Redditors wanted.
But looking like a woman is only half the battle.
I had seen an episode of "Sex and the City" before and knew exactly what ladies loved:
a ladies lunch.
We had a blast!
To spinach! To spinach!
To brunch!
SoulCycle!
To female orgasms.
My transformation was almost complete, but before I could declare success I had to hear
it from the people who inspired me to take this journey in the first place: my trolls.
I reached out to my favorite trolls.
KidRockJoe@aol.com
As well as Arnie Joe, contributing writer at Reddit.
And Peter, my boss.
To complete the makeover I designed a special performance with them in mind.
I had become strong, confident, posed and beautiful.
I'd become the woman my trolls always said they wanted.
Let's go girls!
Man I feel like a woman now!
I mean, we still don't like you.
