How to Make It in America S1E8 - English Transcript

* I need a dollar dollar * - * a dollar, that's what I need * - * hey hey * * well, I need a dollar dollar * - * a dollar, that's what I need * - * hey hey * * said I need a dollar dollar * * a dollar, that's what I need * * and if I share with you my story * * would you share your dollar with me? * * well, I don't know if I'm walking on solid ground * * and all I want is * * for someone to help me * * I need a dollar dollar * * a dollar, that's what I need * * and if I share with you my story * * would you share your dollar with me? * I washed it In case you have to wear it today. - Thank you, grandma. - Si. - Are you sneaking out? - What? Oh, god. No. - Sorry if I woke you. - It's fine. I'd offer you some coffee, but the pot broke. Oh, really? The vintage joe dimaggio mr. Coffee? - Mm-hmm. - Oh, man. Sorry. - You loved that thing. - Yeah, I did until it shattered And almost took a finge - That sucks. - Yeah. *** happens. Yeah. It does. So, um -It was good seeing you. - Yup. It was good to see you too. - Okay. - Bye. hey. How you feeling today? - Been better. You? - All good. We need to talk to the cops and see what they got on the truck, So meet me at the police station, all right? And hurry up, 'cause I don't got time to *** around today. Whoa whoa. Who is this? What have you done with my friend cam? Your friend cam is now a slave to his cousin rene, So you know what that means. What the hell is a rasta monsta, anyway? - It's an energy drink. - Never heard of it. That was the point of the truck. - Right. It says here it's been insured as " a work of art. " - It was - apparently it had a mural Of "a skeleton with dreadlocks Getting pulled by a team of angry pit bulls. " lovely. So nobody you interviewed outside of the diner saw anything? Nope. They never do. These cops need to step it up. My tax dollars pay for their salary. What? - Your tax dollars. But still Well, one of us needs to call haraki And tell him we're not delivering the t-shirts today. Ben, the day still isn't over. Either way, it's not gonna happen today. No way. Yeah, I guess the right thing to do is cancel And keep the relationship good and open for the future, right? Yeah. I mean, that's a better look for crisp Than just flaking completely, you know? I'll call haraki and I'll tell him. All right. Well, let me buy you breakfast first. - I can' - what? I've gotta work. - Edie: Good morning, gorgeous. - Good morning, edie. Is this a happy call or a sad call? Are you available to meet me at the hotel? - Yes, I am. - Okay. So see you there in an hour? There's a bonus in this for you, sweetie. Bye, edie. How much for a billboard on houston? Are you *** kidding me, man? That's a lot of *** money, bro. ***, for $200 and a bag of weed, I can hire this hood rat that lives in my building Who'll climb up and paint a nice mural, man, Right on top of the calvin klein ad. You think that'd make the company look too ghetto? Oh, ***. Yeah, you're probably right. Will you please hold on a second? What the *** is this, bro? I said egg whites, not egg yellows. - Are you *** color-blind? - They're egg beaters. They lady said egg beaters are the same thing as egg whites. It's not the same thing. Look. Can you learn to follow directions Before I turn into a cam ***? - Mm-hmm. - I'm-- I'm so sorry. Yeah, my little cousin- he just started working for me. He's half retarded. hello. Hey, how you doing, man? It's cam calderon from crisp. I thought you were coming to deliver last night. - What happened to you? - Well, we had a little problem With the shipping on our end. Oh, I hope the problem is cleared up. Are you bringing me my shirts today? Of course we are. Yeah. Yeah, you'll have them by tonight. If your shirts sell like I think they can, I want to backup the order with some hooded sweatshirts. We can do that. We're already working on some hoodies, so that's perfect. - Just let me know how many. - Good. My assistant will call you soon to tell you where to drop off. Thank you, haraki. Who steals a delivery truck like that? - That's some serious crackhead ***. - I think cam and I are cursed. Oh, shut up. You're not cursed. Stop. - Well, we're not blessed. Dude, did I ever tell you the story about my uncle julius? No, I don't think you did. - Oh, he was the coolest dude back in cleveland. Everybody loved him. He's got nine kids And he drove the bus. The dude was never not happy. - What happened to him? - He won $2 million in the lottery And then got severely depressed. All right? Lost it all within the year And now he's back to driving the bus, happy as hell. You lost me, man. - All right, dude. Let me just telyou, Things come and go. Money comes and goes. T-shirts come and go. Sometimes there's greater forces at work that we're aware of. You know what I mean? You've just got to roll with those *** punches. - You know, bob and weave. - Damn. You just got really deep on me there. You know, I get my philosophize on every once in a while, - Dropping gems. You know? - I love it. I love it. Who is this? Hold on. hello. Yeah, this is ben. What are you doing, huh? Sit. Oh yeah, haraki's guy. What's up, man? He told you what? Yo, no personal calls during work. Jabar, let me ask you a question. - What's up with the truck? - What do you mean? I mean with all the people y'all know on the streets, - No one's seen nothing. - Nope. Then why are we not looking for it? We could find that *** ourselves. - You're crazy. - Come on, jabar. I know a dude like you can make one phone call And make that *** appear like that. I probably could, but it wouldn't matter anyway, 'cause we can't put the damage claim in before Monday. Damage claim? What you talking about, damage claim? Don't you mean stolen claim? - Lost, stolen or damaged, man. What do you care? 'cause I care. "'cause I care" is not an answer. 'cause yesterday when we left union square We went to go pick up 300 t-shirts From this silkscreener out in brooklyn And the t-shirts were in the truck when it was stolen. Your shirts were in the truck? Yeah. They're supposed to be on a plane to tokyo tomorrow. - This is sad. - Yeah, I know. Come on, jabar. I need a ride from somebody Who can see over the steering wheel. You stay and go back to work. Come on. Grab my car. Ben. - Why the *** do I have haraki's people Calling me about a drop-off tonight? Did you not cancel? - I might not have - are you crazy? Why? I have no idea, but this *** ain't over. When I talked to haraki it was over, - But now it's definitely not over. - Whoa whoa, cam. What are you talking about? I think rene stole the rasta monsta truck. What? - Jabar was talking about filing a claim For a truck that's still missing, then rene walked in And bailed him out. The whole *** felt mad suspicious. Okay, look. Even if it's true, what could we possibly do about it? go s rene. - With no proof? - I know it in my bones, man. All right? All right. Where are you? - I'd love it. Oh! - That's really good. - Hi. - Darren: 10 minutes late. It's not nice to keep the boss waiting. I thought they'd teach you something like that at brown. Yeah. - I'm kidding. I tried calling you last night. Darren and I were just having a very titillating conversation About the budget for this place. It might even involve some purchasing trips To some very exotic locales. Wow. Well, that sounds real nice. - Edie: Mm-hmm. - That sounds very nice But I'm out. out where? Out of here. - Edie: What are you talking about? I'm not doing this hotel. I'm not. Darren, thanks for the offer, Really, but this is just not how I like to get new business. With that said, you should hire edie. She's gonna be an incredible asset to you. But, rachel, you work for me, So ij I'm doing it, you're doing it. Actually, I'm not working for you anymore, because I quit. I quit edie weitz designs. - Slow down, please. - I'm cool. I'm cool. - No, you're completely losing it. - Maybe. Maybe. Or maybe for the first time in a really long while, I'm finally getting it. Wait. What does this mean for us? I mean-- - darren, I don't know if there's an us anymore. I'm just-- I'm not into your whole I-don't-take- no-for-an-answer thing. - Okay, we can work on that. - Ben and I slept together last night. - What? - So there's that. - Umm. - Huh. All right. Good talk. - Eddie: How's that? - Mike: Go up. Try more up. - Eddie, up more on your side, please. I'm going as high as I can, boss. ***. Stretch. Come on, man. - Oh, hey. How you doing? - I can't thank you enough for this. It's a truly charitable contribution. You're welcome, father. It's the least I can do. are you okay? Yeah, of course. Why? You seem troubled. Is there someplace we could talk in private real fast? You want to go in the chapel? I mean someplace not so close to god. - God is everywhere, rene. - Yeah, I know, But he's freaking me out in here right now. - Come on, let's go out front. That's fair enough. - Thank you. The stress of running a business is no joke, father. You're strong enough to do this, rene. Yeah, I know, but I still get my urges. Urges. Urges are normal, for all of us. Yeah, but mine are criminal, Even violent sometimes. Rene, here's something a smart man Once shared with me that helped. Maybe it'll work for you. - I mean, please. - Whenever you get an evil Or impure impulse, Close your eyes, take a deep breath And then you imagine yourself taking the elevator down To the basement of your soul where that angry part of you lives. And you confront it. You look the angry rene right in the eye And you just Smile. That work for you? Yeah, and it can work for you too. I don't know, father. I guess I could try reasoning with him. I don't know. I just made a five-hour playlist and packed some snacks. Wow. - What do you know about bacon-wrapped figs Stuffed with parmesan? - I know that bacon makes everything taste better. Where's all your stuff? Yeah, I need to talk to you. You're not coming. Yeah, look. I'm sorry. Something just came up. Look, ben. If you're uncomfortable, I get it. - No. - You don't have to make up-- Julie, honestly, it has nothing to do with you, okay? I was really looking forward to going, but cam's about to do something crazy And if I'm not there with him, the thing could get totally out of hand. - Are you guys gonna be okay? - Yeah yeah, But are you gonna be okay iving alone? Look, ben. I once drove from jersey to florida by myself To see a radiohead concert. Baltimore will be no sweat. - Are you sure? - I'll be fine. Got a few rasta monstas for me? Boss, your cousin and his friend showed up. Yo, it's Saturday night. I thought you two guys would be wining and dining each other somewhere. - How you doing, rene? - What's going on, coz? No idea. You tell me. Well, we think that you may have accidentally Come across our t-shirts. How could I accidentally come across those? I don't know. Honestly, I don't wanna know, But we need those shirts ba tonight Because they're supposed to ship out tomorrow. You know, I don't know what the *** you're talking about right now, ben. And honestly, I'm a little insulted by the implication. That is the exact opposite of what we came here to do. We did not want to insult you or any of you guys. We just want our shirts back and we will be out of your way forever. Boys, you know what you're saying to me right now? You're saying that I, a two-time felon, Have potentially committed my third strike for some sort of fraud. You think I want to go back to jail, man? You think I would do something dumb like that? Come on. Rene, I'm not a snitch. Cam's not a snitch. Obviously, those shirts are a big enough deal for us To even bother you about it. We just want 'em back. Whether or not you stole a truck or not, That is not our business. But the shirts inside that truck are. Are you finished? Yeah. - Just give us back our *** shirts! We all know you boosted that truck! - *** thief. - Men: Whoa. - ***. - Whoa. What the *** did you just say to me? You heard me! Oh. I'm gonna give you a pass tonight Because I know what those shirts meant to you. But after tonight I never ever want to hear about your shirts Or my truck again. You got me? Yeah, I got it. But you gotta understand, coz, Those shirts are all I got. Why don't you two get out of my office Before I change my mind and beat you senseless for wasting my time? You guys are bringing me down. Seriously. I already doubled my zoloft intake for today. - Do you have anymore on you? - You are gonna be fine. - Both of you. - Will we? Yes. - We blew our *** deal with haraki. He was actually feeling our shirts. And there's also the matter of your investment, david, - Which we also lost. - Okay. Well, ben, In '08 I lost $685 million. I was bundling mortgage-backed securities Like they were sardines in a can. - Damn. - Yeah, but it's all good, Because I'm making it back Little by little, million by million. The secret is not to get rich quick. The secret is to get rich slow And you appreciate it. Pfft. We couldn't get rich any slower if we tried. Guys, you need to have faith in yourselves. I do. Crisp is always gonna bounce back. We always will. Right? - "we" will? - Yes, we will. Come on, clinky-clink. Crispy-crisp. Barkeep, three shots-- Tres generaciones-- por favor. Huh? - A last shot, then I'm going home. Hey, wilfredo! Yo, wilfredo. - Hey, man. - What's up? You good? Yeah, man. What the hell happened to you? I tried calling you. I came to your house. - You never came by my house. - Wilfredo, I came by many times. - You saw me and hid. - Yo, s khalid and them dudes there? Them guys is really trying to kill me. I-- I don't know how khalid is, man. Yeah, whatever, donald. Donald? No. Ben. Your friend ben epstein. Oh, ***. What's up, ben? - Hey, man. - What's up? No, I was just looking for you. I wanted to talk to you about those decks. Look. I'm sorry if I let you down at all. You know? - Wh-wh-- what decks? - Your decks. The wilfredo gomez decks. Oh, ***. Yeah, the giraffe, the elephant. Oh, that skateboard was sick. - So you liked it then? - I loved it. It was beautiful. I wanted to ride that skateboard. Yeah. - I wanted to really ride it, But you know what happened to it? I let my brother ride it and he just straight up bounced with it. He bounced with it, huh? Yo, donald. yeah? Don't trust nobody, donald. For real. Not even mickey. Mmm. Mmm? - Yo, what the-- - shh shh shh shh. it's the tooth fairy coming to knock your teeth out. See you outside in two minutes. Okay? Put your clothes on. * love, love is the answer * * that's all right * * so don't you give up now * * so easy to find * You're getting me a little nervous, coz. What are we doing out here? - * look to your soul * - * and open your mind. * I knew it. I knew you took it. Yay for cam, little private ***. Why? Why did you do it? 'cause that truck is an expensive piece of art. I got it cheap. And art insurance pays for damaged art faster Than it does for stolen art, so-- you know. Still, I don't get it. I thought you loved that truck. Oh, of course I do. But like you, I also had to get a loan To get my business started. And I owe, just like you. A lot of money. So were the t-shirts in the truck? They were. Rene, can I please get them back? You know I'm not gonna say nothing. You can trust me. I'm your cousin. With my past, I can't trust nobody. Come on, man. Let's go. But I do want you to succeed, cousin. You know, I was really impressed When I seen what you did with those shirts. It made me think you and your boyfriend have some talents. You know, too bad you don't make 'em in xxxl. These dudes love 'em. I want those t-shirts to be the start Of a successful, legitimate business for you. You do? - Yeah, but before that can happen, I need you to do something. It is what it is, papo. I go down, you go down. * look over yonder * * what do you see? * * the sun is a-rising * * most definitely * * a new day is dawning * * hoo-hoo * * people are changing * - * ain't it beautiful? * - * hoo-hoo * * crystal blue persuasion * Yeah. Huh. * better get ready * * gonna see the light * * love, love is the answer * - * hoo-hoo * - * and that's all right * What? You're just gonna travel? Until the money runs out, yeah. - Where to? - I don't know. I'm gonna paste a map on my wall And just throw a dart, see where it lands. I'm gonna be aiming for paris. oh, obvious. Well, I know that's one throw you're not gonna miss. - That is correct. - Huh. What about you? How's- how's crisp? Crisp is good. - Really? - Yeah. - It's really good. - Yeah So can I ask you a question? Please. How were we the other night? - What? - Never mind. Sorry. Uh, the other night was-- - It was-- - it was a little off. - You know? - Yeah. Maybe more than a little. But it wasn't always like that - No. - Right? - Hm-mmm. - No. Ben, I'm sorry If I made you feel like I expected too much. You didn't. All right. Wherever that dart lands, Just be safe And send me a postcard. - All right. - Come here. Take care, rache. * dial up my number now * * weaving it through the wire * * switch me on * So how long have you guys been doing this? Long time. Haraki doesn't like to pay International import tax or wait on shipping. - I don't blame him. - Much easier this way. Gets to stores faster, customers too. Only customs has little problem, so shh. I won't say anything. I promise. It was a pleasure doing business with you. - Thank you. Oh, you take it. - If you don't mind. - No, you got it. - I got it. - The pleasure was all ours. - Thank you. Hey, you tell haraki out of all the retailers we deal with, - He's our favorite. - Okay, thank you. Yo, so what are you gonna do with your half of the money? Pay my rent first And then I don't know. I'm thinking we make another pair of jeans. Oh, hell yeah. We should definitely do that. - But I was thinking - Uh-oh. We should make a crisp hoodie, Then take it to tokyo ourselves. - Yeah? - I'm serious. Our time over there is right now. We've got to be face to face with our customers-- Promote, market, politic it. Get the japanese buzz buzzing. I think this could be something big, son. Do you even have a passport, cam? What? Not yet, but I'll get one. Plus I know this dude that sells airline miles for cheap. Tell me the plan ain't crazy. It's a crazy plan.