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You’ll never get my formula
I didn’t catch that, something about a Jacuzzi? What’d he say? He’s so far away
I said ‘You’ll never get my formula’
Still didn’t catch that. All I’m getting is Jacuzzi
45 Minutes earlier
Vacation is so relaxing I’m glad you share my enthusiasm for tree watching.
Ooh, a silver eucalyptus! So Majestic!
Oh, gettin’ a phone call. Hey Amy.
Shut up. Look I heard James Franco has a baby bump. Go verify that he’s pregnant. What?
Shut up. Look I posted a picture to twitter, just check it out alright? What?
Okay shut up.
Man she’s so hot. I think she’s wearing a new lipgloss.
Wow, he’s even got that pregnant glow about him.
Back to work. Let’s move!
This is the address his sensei gave me.
Franco does martial arts too? Yeah.
Man this guy does it all. Renaissance man.
Where’s my lunch, Gary? I’m hungry and extremely irritable.
Maybe he is preggers.
Are you serious? How many times do we have to go over this? When I say I want a burrito I mean a burrito Gary!
What’s going on? Did you hear something?
That’s not James Franco. Yes it is, he has special powers.
Shut up, Gary. Get back to work.
I made that lasagna for the both of us.
Why do you look like a man with a glandular problem but sound exactly like James Franco?
Pretty cool, huh?
How did you- how
I’m a shapeshifter, I can turn into anything. See, I can even be you
Aw, your mustache smells like meat. That’s true.
It’s supposed to be a secret. A word that Gary apparently doesn’t understand.
Screw you Franco! You really get into character.
How did you get that power?
I was born with it. I morphed straight from a 9 pound 7ounce baby into a 225 pound Philipino man.
Now who the hell are you two supposed to be?
We’re fact checkers from Swag Magazine? Investigating a photo we saw of you getting on the subway.
It looked like you were in your second trimester.
Let me see that.
Best wishes.
Ah someone must have caught me mid morph. I do the pregnant lady so people give me their seats on the subway.
One of the perks. Now if you show that card to anyone I will turn into a goliath and give you a knuckle sandwich with extra knuckles.
That would be awesome.
Shiiiiit. You could become anything.
A king Yeah, done it. President Been there
The Sultan of Brunei Yeah, me and wife number 3 still talk.
You could take over the world with that power!
Wait. Look at all this equipment.
He’s making some sort of chemical weapon to take over the world. Stop him!
You won’t catch me, suckers! Whoo hoo hoo!
Wrong Way
You’ll never get me because I’m too fast.
Over here! I’m the man.
Someone stop that little girl. She’s an evil mastermind.
There he is!
You can hide but you can’t hide Franco! Get off of me you pervert! That pervert groped me!
I’m so sorry, imss.
Morons.
Aren’t you tired yet?
Seriously, go away!
Where is he?! We lost him!
Ooh! A California Ficas! It’s stunning!
Why does that Ficas have the foliage of a Pignut Hickory?
Stop following me!
Get that Franco Ficas!
I said you’ll never get my formula!
Did you say something about formula? Or a Jacuzzi?
Oh yeah, I’m developing this organic baby formula. That’s what all the equipment’s for.
Why are you manufacturing baby formula? Breast feeding was too painful.
I like to get into character.
How do we know you’re telling the truth and not planning a chemical attack?
Well, it’ll be on the shelves in the fall. I call it “Pi-*** Express”.
Wow you really do it all James Franco.
Yeah I like to keep busy.
It’s like you’re superhuman.
I am superhuman. Oh yeah.
Hey, what’re you writing, man? You better not be writing anything bad about me!
Don’t make me come up there and give you a knuckle sandwich with extra knuckles. Raahhhhh.
here
This is awesome.
It’s like a regular sandwich only painful instead of delicious.