The Rude Girl And The Crude Girl

- TONIGHT ON FIND ME MY MAN... - DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE BECAUSE THIS IS [bleep] YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO ANYWAY. I'M REALLY SERIOUS. - A SERIOUS PERSON IS A UGLY PERSON. THIS IS A NO BULL[bleep] ZONE. - SIZE DOES MATTER. I DON'T CARE WHAT NOBODY SAYS. - WHAT DO YOU HAVE, A FETISH OR SOMETHING? - IF YOU WANNA GET WITH THE PROGRAM, YOU CAN TAKE MY [bleep] NOW AND MY ATTITUDE, OR YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO TAKE IT. - THIS DATE WAS LIKE PULLING TEETH. - I LIKE A GUY THAT LIKES TO HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME. - WHY YOU WOULD ADMIT THAT ON THE FIRST DATE, BEYOND ME. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING, BUT I KNOW IT WASN'T RIGHT. YOU WANT A MAN TO SEE YOU FOR HERE, AND NOT HERE. WE GONNA GET YOU THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE 'CAUSE I'M GOING TO HELP YOU. MY FIRST CLIENT IS DANA, TYPICAL SINGLE YOUNG LADY. BRAINS, BEAUTY, BUT UNFORTUNATELY HAS A LOT OF ISSUES. - THANK YOU FOR CALLING TIPPIE TOES. THIS IS DANA. HOW MAY I HELP YOU? MY NAME IS DANA AND I OWN A NAIL SALON. A GUY WOULD DEFINITELY BE LUCKY TO HAVE ME. I'M GORGEOUS. I'M SUCCESSFUL. I'M YOUNG. I HAVE A LOT OF AMBITION. I MEET GUYS ALL THE TIME, BUT NO ONE HAS HAD THAT POTENTIAL TO REALLY TAKE SERIOUSLY. - OKAY. - DANA IS STILL SINGLE BECAUSE SHE IS A ***. I HAVE TO GET A POLISH SECURITY TOO? - YOU DAMN RIGHT. THAT'S YOUR JOB. I AM ABOUT 65% ***. - DANA'S 100% ***. - I COME OFF A LITTLE MEAN, A LITTLE BLUNT. DON'T HAVE A ATTITUDE BECAUSE THIS IS [bleep] YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO ANYWAY. I GUESS I'M CRANKY IN A SENSE. - SHE NEEDS TO GET LAID. [phone rings] - HI, NATALIE. - HI. - THIS IS DANA. - DANA! HOW'S IT GOIN'? - I CAME TO SEE NATALIE BECAUSE SHE'S THE BEST, AND I DON'T WANNA BE THE OLD SINGLE LADY WITH A HOUSE FULL OF CATS. I REALLY NEED HELP FINDING A MAN. - ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. WHEN YOU ENTER A NEW RELATIONSHIP, WHAT ARE SOME THINGS YOU FIND YOURSELF DOING THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE A NEGATIVE IN THE RELATIONSHIP? - I'M CONTROLLING AND I DON'T REALLY SHOW EMOTIONS AT THE BEGINNING AT ALL. I'M REALLY SERIOUS. - A SERIOUS PERSON IS A UGLY PERSON. WE CAN'T BE CONTROLLING. WE CAN'T BE TOO SERIOUS, ESPECIALLY AT THE VERY BEGINNING OF MEETING SOMEONE. WHY ARE YOU SINGLE? - I THINK I'M SINGLE, HONESTLY, BECAUSE I COME OFF AS A TOTAL ***. - YOU SEE THIS HERE? THIS IS A NO BULL[bleep] ZONE, AND WHAT I'M HEARING IS A BUNCH OF BULL[bleep]. SURE, I MAY COME OFF A LITTLE HARSH, BUT I DO IT OUT OF LOVE. THESE WOMEN NEED MY HELP, AND THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET THROUGH TO THEM. WHAT TYPE OF MEN DO YOU LIKE? - I LIKE A OPEN-MINDED INDIVIDUAL, WELL-GROOMED, WILLING TO TRAVEL, EDUCATED. - THAT SOUND LIKE A PRETTY DECENT MAN, OKAY? SO WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE'S GONNA BE ATTRACTED TO A "***"? - WOW. OKAY. - A MAN DO NOT WANT A ***-*** WOMAN. - HOW CAN A *** TELL ANOTHER *** NOT TO BE A ***? REALLY, LIKE, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO? - TAKE THAT WALL DOWN. I WANNA HELP YOU, BUT YOU HAVE TO ALLOW ME TO HELP YOU. ARE YOU OPEN TO THAT? 'CAUSE IF YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME. - YOU COMIN' ON HEAVY ALREADY. - MOST DEFINITELY 'CAUSE IF NOT, WE CAN'T WORK TOGETHER. IN THIS HOUSE, IT'S ONE WAY, AND IT'S MY WAY. - RIGHT. I'M SORRY. - CAN I GET A HANDSHAKE? - UM, I HAVE A LITTLE THING WITH GERMS. - IS IT LITTLE OR IS IT REALLY BIG? - TO ME, IT'S LITTLE. TO CERTAIN GUYS, THEY'RE, LIKE, "OKAY, SHE HAS AN ISSUE." - OKAY, I'M GONNA LEAVE THIS ISSUE ALONE FOR RIGHT NOW. LET'S MOVE ON. OKAY. I HAVE SOMEONE THAT I'M GONNA SET YOU UP ON A DATE WITH. - OKAY. - HIS NAME IS GEORGE. I WANT YOU TO JUST ENJOY THE DATE. MY CLIENTS DON'T ALWAYS HAVE A CLEAR SENSE OF WHAT THEIR ISSUES ARE... OKAY, HONEY. HAVE A GREAT DAY. SO TO FIND OUT HOW MY CLIENTS REALLY ACT AROUND MEN, I SEND THEM ON A FAKE DATE WITH ONE OF MY UNDERCOVER DATE COACHES. - WHAT DO WE HAVE GOING ON TODAY? I'M GEORGE, NATALIE'S RIGHT-HAND MAN AND HEAD DATE COACH. - WE HAVE THIS YOUNG LADY DANA. SHE HAS SOME ISSUES. - I REALLY TRY TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN AND FIND OUT WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS THEY MAY HAVE. - SO WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO IS DO WHAT YOU DO. - I'M GONNA KEEP YOU POSTED, LET YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING. - ALL RIGHT, I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR THIS REPORT. MY NEXT CLIENT IS MERCEDES. - MY NAME IS MERCEDES. I'M A GRADUATE STUDENT STUDYING CRIMINOLOGY. THE PRIMARY THING I'M LOOKING FOR IN A MAN IS PRESENCE, AMBITION, FAMILY-ORIENTED, CHARISMATIC, CONFIDENT. ALSO, SIZE DOES MATTER. I DON'T CARE WHAT NOBODY SAYS. I HAVE, LIKE, 38 TO 50 *** PICTURES, AND I KNOW 'EM ALL BY HEART. - OH, GOD. - I JUST GOT ANOTHER ONE. THIS IS GREAT. - MEAT CHECK IS YOU VERIFY THE GOODS BEFORE BUYING. - THIS ONE LOOKS ABOUT NINE. - THAT ONE IS ACTUALLY NICE. - I LOVE THIS ***, BUT IT'S JUST NOT ON THE RIGHT GUY. - MERCEDES NEEDS A LOT OF HELP FINDING A GUY. SHE DOESN'T NEED HELP GETTING [bleep] SHOTS. - I DO LIKE LOOKING AT *** PICTURES. I THINK THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. - NATALIE, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MERCEDES. - HI, MERCEDES. - HI, NATALIE. - HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GREAT. - HAVE A SEAT. SO, MERCEDES, GETTING STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. WHY ARE YOU SINGLE? - 'CAUSE I HAVEN'T FOUND THAT COMPLETE PACKAGE. I KNOW THAT NOTHING IS PERFECT, BUT I HAVEN'T FOUND ANYTHING THAT'S CLOSE TO IT. - OKAY, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOUR LAST MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP? - EIGHT MONTHS. - WHAT HAPPENED? WHY DID YOU GUYS BREAK UP? - WE BROKE UP BECAUSE HE WASN'T THAT FANTASTIC IN THE BED. BORING... - UH-HUH. - QUICK... - RIGHT. - SMALL ***. I NEVER HAD AN ***. I FEEL CHEATED. - OKAY, SO TELL ME WHAT ARE SOME HABITS THAT YOU MAY HAVE THAT MAY NOT BE SO ATTRACTIVE. - I'M A LITTLE BIT PARANOID. LIKE, WHO AM I REALLY WITH? LIKE, DOES HE TELLING ME ONE THING, AND THEN I SEE SOMETHING ELSE IN HIS PHONE. - IF I WAS TO HACK INTO YOUR PHONE, WHAT WOULD I FIND? - YOU KNOW, TEXT MESSAGES, UH, MAYBE A COUPLE OF *** PICTURES. - COUPLE OF WHAT? - *** PICTURES. - HOW MANY? - UH, ABOUT 20 TO 30. - WOW! WHAT, DO YOU HAVE A FETISH OR SOMETHING? - WELL, WHEN I GO ON A DATE WITH A GUY AND I LIKE HIM, I NEED TO CHECK OUT HIS GOODS BEFORE WE CAN MOVE ON TO THE NEXT LEVEL. MEAT CHECK. - A MEAT CHECK? ARE YOU SERIOUS? DAMN. MERCEDES HAS THIS REAL OBSESSION WITH PENISES. BUT THAT IS JUST SOMETHING SHE SHOULD NOT BE WORRIED ABOUT IN THE BEGINNING OF A RELATIONSHIP. THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. IN ADDITION TO THE ***, THERE ARE OTHER THINGS THAT MATTER, OKAY? YOU HAVE TO ALLOW THE RELATIONSHIP TO GROW TO THAT PLACE. AND JUST TALKING TO YOU, I SEE SOME THINGS THAT NEED TO BE DEALT WITH. IF YOU CAN'T FOLLOW THE THINGS THAT I'M TELLING YOU TO DO, WE CAN'T WORK TOGETHER. - NATALIE STARTED TO SCOLD ME. I WAS, LIKE, NATALIE'S ON SOME TYPE OF ILLEGAL SUBSTANCE IF SHE'S GONNA BE TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT. - I'M GUESSING MERCEDES' ISSUE IS THAT SHE IS TOO SEXUALLY FORWARD AND SHE'S DOWNGRADING HERSELF INSTEAD OF MAKING A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION. SO WHAT I'M GONNA DO, I'M GONNA SEND HER ON A FAKE DATE WITH KEVIN, MY COACH, AND SEE HOW SHE REALLY OPERATES. THIS IS WHAT WE GONNA DO. I'M SETTING YOU ON A DATE WITH KEVIN. HOWEVER, WHEN I SET YOU UP ON DATES, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEIR MEAT CHECKS. I'M JUST SETTING YOU UP BECAUSE I JUST THINK THIS IS THE IDEAL GUY FOR YOU. - I'M EXCITED AND NERVOUS. I'M, LIKE, "OH." - YOU DON'T NEED TO BE NERVOUS 'CAUSE I'M YOUR GIRL. I'M GONNA HELP YOU. - OH, COOL. - SO NATALIE'S GOT ME GOING UNDERCOVER ON A FAKE DATE WITH DANA, AND I'LL BE WATCHING TO SEE HOW SHE HANDLES HERSELF. DANA, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. - NICE TO MEET YOU AS WELL. - YOU'RE VERY BEAUTIFUL. - THANK YOU. - YOU KNOW, NATALIE, SHE TOLD ME YOU WERE A REALLY NICE WOMAN AND SOMEBODY I SHOULD LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING. - I GUESS I'M A LITTLE NICE. - I WANNA CALL HER UP AND SAY, "NATALIE, OOH, THANK YOU." - DON'T THANK HER QUITE YET. - ALL RIGHT. SO ARE YOU FROM HERE? - I AM. - WHAT DO YOU ENJOY DOING? - UH... - LIKE, WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN? - UM, I EAT SEAFOOD, SO WE'RE ACTUALLY AT A PRETTY GOOD SPOT. - OH, OKAY. HIGH FIVE ON THAT ONE? - WHAT'S UP WITH THIS HIGH FIVE SH--UH-- I'M NOT BIG ON TOUCHING. HERE. - NO, I JUST, YOU KNOW-- - ALOE. - OKAY, YOU WANNA USE THE GERMICIDE? - YEAH, AND THEN YOU COULD TOUCH MY HAND ALL DAY. - THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN ON A DATE WHERE I'VE HAD TO USE GERMICIDE, BUT OKAY. ALL RIGHT. - THERE YOU GO. I DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU A LOT. - I DUG IN A PILE OF DIRT BEFORE I SHOOK YOUR HAND. - I BELIEVE YOU. - [laughs] DANA BREAKS OUT, LIKE, THE BOUGIE HAND SANITIZER BOTTLE. WHO DOES THAT? AND I'M, LIKE, "WHAT THE [bleep]?" I WANTED TO SEE WHERE I COULD GO WITH THAT AND SEE WHAT DANA'S REACTION WOULD BE. - OH, MY GOD, LOOK. I DROPPED SOME STUFF ON A THING. OH, THAT LOOKS GOOD. [moans] WHAT? - YOU JUST ATE CRAP OFF THE TABLE. - IT PASSED THE FIVE-SECOND RULE. I MEAN, IF IT'S NOT ON THE GROUND FOR LONGER THAN FIVE SECONDS, YOU CAN PICK IT UP AND EAT IT. - WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU THAT? THAT IS NOT A REAL RULE. - HUH? - THAT IS NASTY. GEORGE WAS REALLY PUSHING MY BUTTONS, AND I HAVE NO PATIENCE. - YOU OKAY? - I'M FINE. I JUST CAN'T GET PAST THAT WHOLE-- THAT YOU JUST-- YOU BLEW IT. - I MEAN, DID I LOSE, LIKE, TEN COOL POINTS FOR THAT? - YOU DID. - HOW DO I GAIN THEM BACK? - I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL TO TELL YOU FOR THAT ONE. - I, LIKE, WASHED MY HANDS WITH YOUR STERILE WIPE, AND I'M SMELLING LIKE A GIRL OVER HERE, YOU KNOW? - ARE YOU AN [bleep]? - ARE YOU AN [bleep]? - YES, VERY MUCH SO. - YOU'RE JUST, LIKE, TRYING TO PUT THIS WHOLE SERIOUS THING GOING. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? - YOU HAVE TIME TO WASTE? BECAUSE I DON'T. - OH. - SO FROM THE BEGINNING, I'M JUST VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD AND BLUNT. EITHER YOU'RE GONNA GET WITH THE PROGRAM, YOU CAN TAKE MY [bleep] NOW AND MY ATTITUDE, OR YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO TAKE IT. - COMING UP... - I HAD A SMILE, "HI." - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING, BUT I KNOW IT WASN'T RIGHT. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CHECK SOMEONE'S PHONE. - I THINK IT'S CURIOSITY. - THAT'S WHAT YOU WANNA BELIEVE. - MY BLOOD'S BOILING. NATALIE'S ABOUT TO GET CUSSED THE [bleep] OUT. - YOU'RE GONNA GET WITH THE PROGRAM. YOU CAN TAKE MY [bleep] NOW AND MY ATTITUDE, OR YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO TAKE IT. - A DATE IS ALL ABOUT HAVING FUN AND GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE. WHEN A PERSON'S THAT ABRASIVE AND PUTS UP A WALL LIKE THAT WITHOUT KNOWING YOU, THAT'S A PROBLEM. AND THE AVERAGE GUY JUST DOESN'T WANNA DEAL WITH THAT. WHY IS IT TAKING SUCH, LIKE, AN EXTRA EFFORT FOR YOU TO JUST BE NICE? I'M ON YOUR TEAM. - YOU ON MY TEAM? - YEAH. - YOU LOST THE GAME ALREADY. - SHOULD I WALK YOU TO YOUR CAR? - SURE. THAT WAS QUICK. [up-tempo music] - SO TELL ME: HOW WAS THE DATE? AND I WANT YOU TO BE VERY HONEST WITH ME. NOW THAT DANA WENT ON HER FAKE DATE WITH GEORGE, I WANT HER TO TELL ME ALL OF THE DETAILS BECAUSE SHE HAS NO IDEA THAT GEORGE IS MY DATE COACH. HOW DID THINGS GO? - HE IS GOOD-LOOKING... - MM-HMM. - WELL-MANNERED, WELL-GROOMED, BUT AFTER THE DATE STARTED, I WAS A LITTLE BLUNT. I DIDN'T REALLY GO INTO MUCH DETAIL. I DON'T LIKE TO DO THAT... - RIGHT. - YOU KNOW, AT--AT THE BEGINNING, AND HE DROPPED SOMETHING ON THE TABLE. - OKAY. - HE PICKED IT UP AND ATE IT, AND THEN, HE WAS, LIKE, "FIVE-SECOND RULE." THAT WAS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE DATE, SO I WAS JUST, LIKE, "ARE YOU KIDDING?" I OFFERED HIM HAND SANITIZER... - OKAY. - AND I THINK HE GOT A LITTLE OFFENDED BY THAT. - SO WOULD YOU MORE OR LESS, LIKE, TOTALLY WRITE HIM OFF BECAUSE OF THAT? - I DID. - WOULD GEORGE BE SOMEONE YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED IN GOING OUT WITH AGAIN? - I DON'T KNOW. I HONESTLY WOULDN'T. [chuckles] - SO, DANA, I HAVE A SURPRISE. I BROUGHT GEORGE BACK IN TODAY, BUT NOT AS A SECOND DATE. SORRY TO BUST YOU, HONEY. GEORGE IS MY DATE COACH. - WHEN GEORGE WALKED IN, IT TOOK ME A LITTLE OFF-GUARD, BECAUSE HERE I AM TALKING CRAP ABOUT HIM. - DANA, YOU SAY YOU ACT ***? - [laughs] - WELL, I SENT GEORGE OUT WITH YOU TO SEE HOW ***. - ON OUR DATE, WITHIN THE FIRST TWO MINUTES, YOU'RE SHUTTING ME DOWN. BEING ON A DATE WITH YOU, IT'S LIKE PULLING TEETH. - IT WAS THAT BAD? - YEAH. YOU SNATCHED YOUR HAND AWAY FROM ME. - WHAT'S UP WITH THIS HIGH FIVE SH-- - OKAY, YOU WANT ME TO USE GERMICIDE? - YEAH, AND THEN YOU CAN TOUCH MY HAND ALL DAY. - THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN ON A DATE WHERE I'VE HAD TO USE GERMICIDE. YOU GOT ME USING HAND SANITIZER, AND I'M TRYING TO HAVE FUN WITH YOU. I WAS TRYING TO GET YOU TO LOOSEN UP AND RELAX. I WOULD NEVER GO OUT ON A DATE WITH YOU AGAIN. - [exhales] - THERE IS NO PERFECT PERSON. WHETHER IT'S GEORGE, WHETHER IT'S SOMEBODY ELSE, NONE OF THEM ARE PERFECT. BUT ONLY SOMEBODY WHO GOT SOME REAL ISSUES MEETS SOMEBODY FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND HAVE ALL OF THESE WALLS UP, AND *** ATTITUDE. - ARE YOU KIDDING? - A MAN IS NOT GOING TO TAKE THE TIME OUT TO UNDERSTAND YOU BECAUSE, FIRST OF ALL, THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THEY LIKE YOU. IN THEIR MIND, THEY'RE, LIKE, "OH, THIS CHICK IS CRAZY. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER." IF YOU CONTINUE WITH THIS ATTITUDE, NO MAN IS GONNA WANT TO DATE YOU. - OKAY. - YOU GONNA HAVE TO WORK ON YOU. - I CAME IN. I HAD A SMILE, "HI." - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING, BUT I KNOW IT WASN'T RIGHT. - I DON'T THINK YOU'RE A ***. I THINK YOU'RE JUST WORKING REALLY HARD TRYING TO BE A ***, AND THAT'S YOUR DEFENSE MECHANISM. - I DON'T KNOW. I-I HAVE TO CHANGE MY MINDSET OF THINKING. THERE IS NO REASON FOR ME TO HAVE SUCH A WALL UP TO A COMPLETE STRANGER, BUT I'M JUST MAYBE NERVOUS. BECAUSE THEY ARE A COMPLETE STRANGER, I WON'T LET THEM KNOW WHO I TRULY AM. - AND IT'S NOT GOOD. WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH IN LIFE THAT HAS CAUSED YOU TO HAVE THIS BLOCKAGE? - MY REAL FIRST, FIRST RELATIONSHIP, THAT WAS FOR ABOUT FOUR YEARS. WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY CLOSURE BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, HE PASSED AWAY. - OH, I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT. - AND THAT'S THE PERSON THAT I PLANNED ON BEING WITH. THERE WAS NO CLOSURE. THE FACT THAT I CAN NEVER CALL HIM, I CAN NEVER SEE HIM, IT REALLY, REALLY IS-- IS VERY DIFFICULT. AND THEN, AFTER THAT, MY FATHER PASSED AWAY. AND THEN, MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY. - OH, OKAY. - I'M A LITTLE JADED HERE. - IT'S, LIKE, ALL THE PEOPLE THAT LOVED YOU AND THAT YOU LOVED... both: ARE NO LONGER HERE. - NOW, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHERE THIS IS COMING FROM. SHE'S PUTTING UP A SHELL TO PROTECT HER FEELINGS BECAUSE SHE LOST HER BOYFRIEND AND THEN HER PARENTS. NOW, I UNDERSTAND WHY DANA IS PUTTING THIS *** ATTITUDE. AND NOW, I CAN HELP HER. THINGS THAT YOU'VE GONE THROUGH IN YOUR PAST, IT'S OKAY. IT'S TOTALLY OKAY. BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT YOU WANNA MOVE FORWARD IN LIFE AND YOU WANT TO MEET SOMEONE SPECIAL. AND PEOPLE, WHEN YOU MEET THEM THE FIRST TIME, THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'VE COME FROM. THEY DON'T KNOW YOUR STORY. THEY'RE JUST GONNA JUDGE YOU ON WHAT YOU'RE PRESENTING. - RIGHT. - YOU UNDERSTAND? ONCE I GOT TO TALKING TO DANA, I DIDN'T SEE A ***. I JUST THINK THAT SHE NEEDS TO OPEN HERSELF UP TO FIND LOVE. - THE THINGS THAT SHE TOLD ME WERE VERY MUCH TRUE. SOMETIMES, YOU DON'T REALIZE HOW YOU TRULY ARE UNTIL SOMEONE ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKS INTO YOUR WORLD AND SAY, "HEY, YOU'RE MESSING UP." - OKAY. HERE'S THE GOOD PART. I'M GONNA HANDPICK SOME GUYS ON YOUR BEHALF THAT I THINK WILL BE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING FOR YOU. - PERFECT. - WE GONNA GET YOU THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE 'CAUSE I'M GOING TO HELP YOU. - I'M EXCITED. - I AM TOO. MERCEDES IS JUST TOO *** UP FRONT IF SHE REALLY WANTS TO FIND A REAL RELATIONSHIP. SO I GOT MERCEDES GOING ON A FAKE DATE WITH KEVIN, MY DATE COACH, TO FIND OUT JUST HOW *** SHE IS ON A DATE. - HI. - MY NAME'S KEVIN. I'M ONE OF NATALIE'S DATING COACHES. NATALIE TOLD ME MERCEDES IS OBSESSED WITH THE MALE ANATOMY AND ISN'T AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT IT. I WANNA SEE IF SHE'S CRAZY ENOUGH TO BRING IT OUT TO A TOTAL STRANGER. - IN THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITY, EVERYTHING IS, LIKE, COLOR-CODED. SO WHEN I SEE, LIKE, KEVIN, I WAS, LIKE, "OH, MY GOD. HE IS SO BRIGHT." I DON'T LIKE THOSE BRIGHT GUYS. IT'S LIKE SLEEPING NEXT TO A HIGHLIGHTER. - SO IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. - IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU TOO. - MERCEDES, HER BODY IS JUST ALL OUT IN YOUR FACE. YOU'VE GOT THE ***. BAM. YOU'VE GOT THE ***. BAM. FOR A FIRST DATE, IT MIGHT'VE BEEN A LITTLE TOO MUCH. WHERE ARE YOU FROM? - I'M FROM MIAMI, FLORIDA. - YEAH? BORN AND RAISED? - BORN AND RAISED. - YOU DON'T MEET TOO MANY "BORN AND RAISED" THESE DAYS. - SO YOU DO WHAT? - PERSONAL TRAINER. - WHAT'S UNDER THE SHIRT? LIKE, DO YOU HAVE A SIX-PACK? - I DO, I DO. I HAVE A COUPLE EXTRA. I'VE GOT A EIGHT-PACK. - OKAY. - SO WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A MAN THOUGH? - I LIKE A GUY THAT'S JUST-- THAT LIKES TO HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME. - AH. OKAY. - I LIKE A GUY THAT LIKES TO SEND PICTURES. - LIKE, WHAT KIND OF PICTURES? - LIKE, PICTURES OF HIS ***. LIKE, "HEY, BABE, I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU." [mimics beeping] - HOW MANY OF THESE DO YOU HAVE STORED UP? - THAT'S MY SECRET. - AH. INTERESTING. OKAY. IS SHE A *** CONNOISSEUR? MAYBE SHE'S THE ART COLLECTOR OF PENISES? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. AND WHY YOU WOULD ADMIT THAT ON A FIRST DATE, BEYOND ME. IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A MAN AND YOU'RE ON A FIRST DATE, YOU MIGHT WANNA BE A LITTLE MORE SUBTLE BECAUSE THOSE GUYS WHO ARE DOWN FOR SENDING THEIR JUNK ON A PHONE AREN'T ONES YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH. - YOU'RE GONNA SEND ME A *** PICTURE, RIGHT? JUST DON'T SNAP A PICTURE OF IT. LIKE, LET'S SAY-- MY FAVORITE COLOR IS PURPLE. YOU CAN PUT IT, LIKE, ON A PURPLE BLANKET. AND YOU CAN SNAP THE PICTURE, LIKE, "OH," AND THEN FRAME IT. I'M LIKE, "WOW, HE PUT IN SOME WORK." - [laughs] SHE'S TALKING ABOUT ADDING BACKGROUND AND ALL KINDS OF DIFFERENT FASHION SENSIBILITIES OF HOW TO DELIVER THIS *** TO HER PHONE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WELL, GIVE ME ONE SECOND. I'M GONNA USE THE BATHROOM REAL QUICK? IS THAT COOL? YOU COOL WITH THAT? - YEAH. - OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. - HE'S GETTING UP TO GO USE THE RESTROOM. HIS PHONE IS JUST RIGHT HERE, AND I GOT OVERLY CURIOUS. [sighs] DID HE LOCK-- SUPER-LOCK HIS PHONE? - COMING UP... A LADY DON'T DO THAT. - HOLD UP. NOW, I'M GETTING UNCOMFORTABLE. - NO NEED FOR YOU TO HAVE AN ATTITUDE WITH ME. - I'M, LIKE-- I'M STARTING TO GET MAD. - YOU'RE SOME KIND OF FREAK. - DID HE LOCK-- SUPER-LOCK HIS PHONE? - I LEFT MY CELL PHONE ON THE TABLE, AND THEN I COME BACK, AND I SEE HER LOOKING THROUGH MY PHONE. I MEAN, IF THIS WAS A REAL DATE AND I CAUGHT HER LOOKING THROUGH MY PHONE, THE DATE WOULD BE OVER. THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO SAY. BUT I GOTTA DO MY JOB AND REPORT BACK TO NATALIE. - SO, LIKE, WHEN YOU'RE DATING SOMEBODY, ARE YOU THE TYPE OF GUY THAT HAS STUFF TO HIDE, SO I'M GONNA LOCK MY PHONE? - I THINK EVERYONE NEEDS THEIR PRIVACY. - I THINK IT CAUSES SUSPICION. IF IT'S LOCKED, IT'S, LIKE, "WHY IS IT LOCKED?" - 'CAUSE IT COULD JUST BE A PROTECTION THING. LIKE, SAY, I HAPPEN TO LOSE MY PHONE. I DIDN'T WANT SOMEONE TO, LIKE, GO IN, AND GET MY NUMBERS AND STUFF. - I COULD PROBABLY UNLOCK IT. - DID YOU DO THAT TO YOUR EXES? - MAYBE A FEW TIMES. - WELL, UH, I HAVE SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT. - OH, WHAT A GENTLEMAN. - I HAVE MY MOMENTS. - I THINK YOU JUST WANTIN' TO LOOK AT MY BUTT. - IT'S... [laughs] - YOU LOOKIN' AT MY BUTT? - NO, NOT AT ALL. YOU'RE GOOD. - SO, LIKE, HOW MANY INCHES IS YOUR ***? - REALLY? - I KNOW YOU KNOW. - HELLO! - HI. - I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU TODAY. I AM VERY CURIOUS TO SEE HOW THIS DATE WENT WITH KEVIN AND MERCEDES. I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR THE DETAILS. - LET ME INTRODUCE YOU. THIS IS GEORGE WHO IS MY DATE COACH. GEORGE HELPS WOMEN UNDERSTAND HOW MEN SEE A WOMAN'S BEHAVIOR OUT ON A DATE. SO TELL ME: HOW DID YOUR DATE GO? - KEVIN, AS FAR AS HIS APPEARANCE, HE'S, LIKE, VERY BRIGHT. SO I WAS, LIKE, "OKAY, IT'S NOT GONNA BE ANY ATTRACTION THERE." - OKAY, SO YOU JUST FEEL THE CHEMISTRY JUST WASN'T THERE BETWEEN YOU TWO? - YEAH. - DURING THE DATE, WAS ANYTHING MENTIONED LIKE, PRIVATE PARTS, UM... - UH, WAIT. I LIKE A GUY THAT LIKES TO SEND PICTURES. - LIKE, WHAT KIND OF PICTURES? - LIKE, PICTURES OF HIS ***. [laughter] - I DON'T THINK SO. I DON'T--I DON'T REMEMBER. I MEAN, I THINK I MIGHT'VE PICKED UP HIS CELL PHONE. - WHY WOULD YOU PICK UP HIS CELL PHONE? - BECAUSE HE WENT TO THE BATHROOM, AND IT WAS JUST, LIKE, RIGHT THERE. - SO YOU DID PICK UP HIS CELL PHONE. - I CANNOT BELIEVE MERCEDES WENT THROUGH THAT MAN'S PHONE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER? THAT IS JUST NOT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS. HACKING IS NOT SEXY. HACKING IS CRAZY. WHEN YOU'RE SECURE WITH YOURSELF, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CHECK SOMEONE'S PHONE. - I REALLY THINK IT'S CURIOSITY. I THINK A INSECURE WOMAN IS GONNA STAY WITH A MAN THAT CHEATS ON HER. - NO, SWEETHEART. NO, NO, NO. - BUT IF I-- IF I LOOK THROUGH SOMETHING AND I FIND IT, THEN I'M LEAVING. - UH-UH. SWEETHEART, THAT'S INSECURITY. - I THINK IT'S CURIOSITY. - THAT'S NOT EVEN CURIOSITY. THAT'S WHAT YOU WANNA BELIEVE. - ***, YOU DON'T [bleep] KNOW ME. ASK ME THE RIGHT QUESTIONS, AND GET TO KNOW ME BEFORE YOU SIT ON THE COUCH AND POINT FINGERS, AND TRY TO JUDGE ME, AND TELL ME SOMETHING THAT I'M NOT. - YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO RIGHT NOW? I'M GONNA BRING SOMEBODY ELSE IN ON THIS CONVERSATION TO SIT WITH US. HI! - WHAT'S UP? - HOW ARE YOU? - I'M FANTASTIC. - REMEMBER HIM? - WHEN KEVIN WALKED IN THE ROOM, I JUST KNEW, LIKE, RIGHT THERE THAT I WAS BEING SET UP. - HELLO. - HELLO. KEVIN. I WAS JUST THINKING "MERCEDES, BE RESPECTFUL. MERCEDES, BE RESPECTFUL." BUT MY BLOOD WAS BOILING, AND I WAS, LIKE, "NATALIE'S ABOUT TO GET CUSSED THE [bleep] OUT." - KEVIN IS MY DATE COACH, AND I SEND HIM OUT WITH MY LADIES FOR THE FIRST TIME SO THAT YOU CAN HEAR IT FROM A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE. - YOU SET ME UP. - KEVIN, I'M INTERESTED IN HEARING YOUR SIDE OF THE DATE. - REALLY, WHEN IT CAME TO HAVING A CONVERSATION, IT KIND OF MOVED INTO SEX REALLY QUICKLY. - REALLY? - YEAH. - ME AND HER JUST HAD A CONVERSATION, AND SHE DIDN'T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? - THAT SHE HAS GUYS SEND HER PICTURES OF THEIR... - PRIVATE PARTS. - THE PRIVATE PARTS. - OKAY. - [imitating brakes screeching] YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? LIKE, RED FLAG. FROM THE AVERAGE MALE'S PERSPECTIVE, EVERYTHING IS VERY, VERY SIMPLE. IF THE CONVERSATION GOES TO SEX, THAT'S ALL THEY'RE GONNA THINK ABOUT. AND THEN, EVERYTHING ELSE GOES OUT THE WINDOW. - DO YOU THINK THAT'S APPROPRIATE FOR YOU TO DISCUSS ON A FIRST DATE WITH A GUY? THAT YOU HAVE PICTURES OF PENISES IN YOUR PHONE? - I TOLD HIM IF I GOT IN A RELATIONSHIP, I'D DELETE IT. - I'M ASKING A QUESTION, AND I NEED YOU TO ANSWER ME. WHAT GUY DO YOU THINK WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUS TO KNOW THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR PHONE? - I DON'T KNOW. IT DEPENDS ON THE GUY. - IT'S NOT EVEN DEPENDING ON THE GUY. NO GUY. A LADY DON'T DO THAT. AND EVEN IF YOU DO HAVE IT IN YOUR PHONE, THAT'S YOUR BUSINESS. IT'S NOT HIS BUSINESS, IT'S NOT HIS BUSINESS, AND IT'S NOT NOBODY'S BUSINESS BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING ATTRACTIVE ABOUT THAT. - HOLD UP. NOW I'M GETTING UNCOMFORTABLE. - NO NEED TO GET UPSET. NO NEED FOR YOU TO HAVE AN ATTITUDE WITH ME. - I'M, LIKE-- I'M STARTING TO GET MAD. - YOU'RE SOME KIND OF FREAK. YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE I'M SAYING SOMETHING CRAZY WHEN I'M SITTING UP HERE TELLING YOU YOU WANT A MAN TO SEE YOU FOR HERE AND NOT HERE 'CAUSE THIS [bleep] HERE GET OLD. ONCE THEY GET YOU A COUPLE OF TIMES, THAT'S A WRAP. BUT WHEN A MAN STICK AROUND, IT'S BECAUSE MENTALLY YOU GOT HIM. - I DON'T KNOW. IT'S A BAD HABIT. I NEED TO STOP. - YEAH, YOU NEED TO STOP THAT, LIKE, RIGHT NOW. YOU DO WANT SOMEBODY TO TAKE YOU SERIOUS, RIGHT? HMM? COME ON, TALK TO ME. - LIKE, I'VE BEEN IN SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS. WHEN I'M S-- LIKE, MORE SOPHISTICATED, LIKE, DRESS A DIFFERENT WAY, LIKE, HAVING AN INTELLECTUAL CONVERSATION WITH THEM, THEY JUST NOT GETTING IT, LIKE, AT ALL. SO I'M LIKE, "OKAY." I GET USED TO PLAYING, LIKE, A LITTLE BIT MORE DITZY THAN I REALLY AM, LIKE, WHEN I'M MEETIN' THESE GUYS BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE THAT'S JUST WHAT THEY WANT, AND, LIKE, THAT'S WHAT ATTRACTS THEM. I JUST GOT USED TO PLAYING THIS ROLE, LIKE, WHEN I MEET GUYS. TO MAKE THINGS WORK OUT, I'LL GO AHEAD AND DUMB MYSELF DOWN. - NOW I GET IT. FINALLY, I'M STARTING TO GET A CLEAR PICTURE OF WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON WITH MERCEDES. LISTEN, SWEETHEART. YOU DON'T DOWNGRADE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU WANT HIM TO GET YOU. [bleep] THAT. YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY? YOU FIND SOMEBODY WHO CAN UNDERSTAND MERCEDES. THEY DON'T GET YOU? THEY'RE NOT THE ONE FOR YOU. IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE. - WHEN NATALIE WAS TALKING TO ME ABOUT NOT DUMBING MYSELF DOWN, A LIGHT BULB DID GO OFF BECAUSE I NEED TO FIND A GUY THAT I CAN BE MY INTELLECTUAL SELF WITH, THAT'S GONNA ACCEPT THAT, AND CAN BE WITH ME ON THAT LEVEL SO I CAN BE HAPPY TOO. - OKAY. LET'S LIGHTEN IT UP. NOW, THIS IS THE GOOD PART. I AM GOING TO SELECT SOME GUYS ON YOUR BEHALF, AND YOU'RE GOING TO GET A CHANCE TO ACTUALLY WATCH ME AS I INTERVIEW THESE GUYS. SO THAT'S GONNA BE FUN. - SOUNDS GREAT. - ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET A HUG. LET ME GET A HUG. LET ME GET A HUG. AND JUST KNOW IT'S ALL WITH LOVE. - COME ON IN, GUYS. - HELLO, HELLO. - HI, HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, CAL. I HAVE SELECTED FOUR MEN FROM MY FILES THAT I THINK DANA MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN. CHRIS, OKAY. WOW. I PUT MY CLIENTS BEHIND A ONE-WAY MIRROR SO THEY CAN ACTUALLY OBSERVE ME INTERVIEWING THESE MEN. THIS IS LIKE CANDY. - RIGHT? [laughs] - THIS PROCESS IS DESIGNED TO HELP THEM LEARN HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT MAN. WITHIN THIS GROUP, I'M LOOKING TO FIND THE ONE WHO COULD BEST HANDLE A STRONG-MINDED, DOMINANT WOMAN LIKE DANA. AS ALWAYS, THE FINAL CHOICE OF WHO DANA WILL DATE IS UP TO ME. YOU LOOK SO NICE. LET ME TAKE A MINUTE TO SOAK IT ALL IN. [exhales] - HE'S, LIKE, A SMALLER VERSION OF TYLER PERRY. HE'S HANDSOME, BUT I DON'T LIKE HIS TIGHT-*** PANTS. - ALL RIGHT, GUYS. HERE WE GO. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX? - WOW. UM, A LITTLE DROUGHT. MAYBE A MONTH AGO. - LESS THAN A WEEK. - COUPLE DAYS? - OKAY, WHAT ABOUT YOU? - UM, NIGHT BEFORE LAST? - WHAT IS SHE TO YOU? - I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS YOU CAN SAY, LIKE, A FRIEND. - SHE'S A GOOD-- A GOOD FRIEND. - LIKE, A FRIEND WITH BENEFITS TYPE THING. - FRIEND WITH BENEFITS? - DO SHE THINK THAT YOU GUYS ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP? - NO, I DON'T THINK SO. - BUT YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HER. PURPLE SHIRT IS OUT. - DO YOU LIKE BOSSY WOMEN? - I CAN APPRECIATE, YOU KNOW, A STRONG-MINDED WOMAN. YOU KNOW, I'M A FREE-SPIRITED PERSON. I LIKE, YOU KNOW, GO-WITH-THE-FLOW TYPE OF THING. - YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE I'M PRETTY STRONG-MINDED, AND I'M GOOD AT-- WITH DIRECTIONS. LET'S SAY WE'RE LOST OR WHATNOT, YOU KNOW, LISTEN TO ME. I'M GONNA GET US OUT OF THIS. - NO ONE'S GONNA BOSS MY HEART. IF SHE TRIES TO BOSS ME FOR SOME MENTAL REASON, I WON'T HAVE IT. - I LIKE TO HAVE FULL CONTROL. I WILL ALWAYS HAVE FULL CONTROL. I'M A CONQUEROR, SO I WILL ALWAYS HAVE FULL CONTROL. - WOW, OKAY. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S A POSITIVE OR A NEGATIVE. - WELL, MY BRAIN IS TOTALLY SCREWED BECAUSE I AM BEING TURNED ON BY WHAT HE'S SAYING RIGHT NOW. - WELL, GO FOR IT. - HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER? - MY MOM ACTUALLY PASSED AWAY ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO. BUT I'M REAL CLOSE TO MY STEP-MOM, MY FATHER. - BEST WAY TO APOLOGIZE TO YOUR WOMAN. - GOOD PLAIN "I'M SORRY, LET'S MAKE IT RIGHT"? - LOOK HER DEAD IN THE EYES AND SAY, "I'M SORRY." - ON MY KNEES WITH SOME CHOCOLATE AND WINE. - I'LL TAKE YOUR APOLOGY. [laughter] - THAT MEANS HE KNOWS HOW TO TREAT SOMEONE. I LIKE THAT. - WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SEAN? - SEAN IS COMPLETELY ELIMINATED. HE'S BORING AND DULL AS HELL. CONREDGE IS EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY SEXY, AND I THINK I CAN ACTUALLY HOLD A REALLY GOOD CONVERSATION WITH CHRIS. - OKAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH. THIS HAS BEEN WONDERFUL. PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. BYE-BYE. ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO. WE HAVE CAL. - I DON'T--DON'T LIKE CAL. - WHY? - I DIDN'T-- HIS PANTS WERE TOO TIGHT. - WHAT ABOUT SEAN? - NAH. - NO. - CHRIS IS ACTUALLY HANDSOME. I WAS JUST SO FASCINATED OFF OF... - CONREDGE. - [laughs] WHAT A HOTTIE. WHEN HE WALKED IN, I WAS, LIKE, "OKAY, I REALLY LIKE HIM." - WE ARE SO OFF RIGHT NOW. CAL IS YOUR MAN. YOUR EYES ARE ATTRACTED TO CONREDGE, BUT CONREDGE HAS A VERY STRONG PERSONALITY. SO WHEN I BRING YOU TWO TOGETHER, I THINK IT'D BE TOTALLY A CONFLICT. - I THOUGHT NATALIE WAS [bleep] UP, CRAZY. LIKE, "CAL WHO? WHY I GOTTA GO OUT WITH HIM?" - COMING UP... - I SEE HIM OUT THERE STRUGGLING WITH THE BLANKET AND STUFF, AND I'M JUST LIKE, "I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH CAL. WHO THE HELL IS THAT? OH, TIGHT PANTS?" - ARE YOU A GOOD DANCER? SHOW ME SOME MOVES. - YOU KNOW. - I COULD TELL FROM THAT DANCE HE'S LAZY IN THE BED. [inhales sharply] OH, MY GOD. - ONE OF THE BEST PARTS OF MY JOB IS GOING OUT ON THE TOWN AND FINDING ELIGIBLE BACHELORS. YOU KNOW YOU'RE FINE, RIGHT? - [chuckles] YES. - AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE HANDSOME, RIGHT? - YES. - IT'S A TOUGH JOB. BUT, HEY, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA DO IT. YOU LIKE BLACK WOMEN? - YES. - YOU LIKE WHITE WOMEN? - YES. - YOU LIKE HISPANIC WOMEN? - YES. - WHAT ABOUT BIG WOMEN? - A BIG WOMAN AS IN... - SOMEONE THAT YOU MAY HAVE TO ROLL OVER. - IF I LOVED HER, I WOULD ROLL HER. - YOU WOULD ROLL? - I WOULD ROLL. [laughter] - ROLL UP, AND THEN, IT'S OVER, RIGHT? - WE ARE SO OFF RIGHT NOW. CAL IS YOUR MAN. YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME LIKE, "WHY?" - [laughs] - "BUT I WANT HIM!" - I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL. - I KNOW. THIS IS WHAT I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND. THERE'S NOTHING LIKE SEEING A MAN THAT GOT SOME SWAG. CAL, ON THE OTHER HAND, HE'S JUST LOW-KEY, GO WITH THE FLOW. ME BEING THE RELATIONSHIP STRATEGIST, MATCHMAKER, AND COACH, I'M GONNA SAY CAL FOR YOUR FIRST DATE. - [groans] - I JUST DON'T THINK THAT HE WOULD JUDGE YOU AT THE BEGINNING LIKE CONREDGE WOULD. CAL WILL BE THE PERFECT PERSON FOR DANA, AND WHY? BECAUSE CAL WILL BALANCE DANA OUT. REMEMBER: WALLS DOWN. BRING IT ALL THE WAY DOWN. GEORGE? - THE *** SWITCH? TURN IT OFF. - ALL THE WAY. - OKAY. - YOU WITH ME ON THIS? - I'M GONNA TRY. - OH, YEAH. YOU GONNA TRY, AND YOU GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN. ALL RIGHT. ENJOY. - THANK YOU. - OKAY, HONEY. - HELLO. - HOW ARE YOU DOING? - I'VE SELECTED THREE CANDIDATES THAT I THINK WILL APPEAL TO MERCEDES... GOODNESS! WOW, YOU LOOK NICE. AND IT'S MY MISSION TO FIND MERCEDES A MAN WHO CAN HANDLE HER *** NATURE AS WELL AS HER INTELLIGENCE. LET'S SEE HOW MERCEDES REACTS TO THAT. - CAN HE SEE ME? - NO, THEY CAN'T SEE YOU. - ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET STARTED. ARE YOU A JEALOUS TYPE? - ABSOLUTELY NOT. - ABSOLUTELY NOT. - LIAR. YOU'RE A JEALOUS TYPE. YOU DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT. - AND YOU? - WITH REASON, YES. - OH, SEE? HE'S HONEST. HE SAID YES. - A LOT OF GIRLS RIGHT NOW, THEY'RE NOT REALLY RESPECTFUL. - MM-HMM. - OR FAITHFUL. - WHAT DO YOU THINK WOMEN DO WRONG IN A RELATIONSHIP? - A LOT OF FEMALES THESE DAYS BECOME PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS. - OH, WOW. - HMM. - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN MARRIED? - NO. - DO YOU WANNA GET MARRIED? - EVENTUALLY. - EVENTUALLY. YOU LIKE SEX? - EXCUSE ME? - DO YOU LIKE SEX? - LOOK AT HIM. - I THINK THAT WOMEN AND GUYS SHOULD JUST BE GIVING SEX TO EVERYBODY. - [laughs] - CAN YOU TRUTHFULLY SAY THAT YOU'RE REALLY READY TO MEET SOMEONE SPECIAL? - I DON'T THINK YOU'RE EVER 100% READY TO JUMP INTO A RELATIONSHIP OR A LOVE SITUATION WITH ANYBODY. - ARE YOU A GOOD DANCER? - I THINK I'M A DECENT DANCER. - SO STAND UP. SHOW ME SOME MOVES. - I DO A LITTLE THING CALLED "THE JERRY J." - LET ME SEE. - MM, YOU KNOW? - OH, THAT'S HOW YOU DANCE? [chuckles] - [gasping] OH, MY GOD. - OH, WOW. GO AHEAD. THAT LOOKS SEXY, THOUGH. - [gasps] OH, MY GOD. - ♪ UH, UH, UH ♪ - YOU LIKE THAT, THOUGH. - I DO. - COME ON. WHAT ABOUT YOU? I KNOW YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW ME. - DO I? - YES. - NAH. - DAVID, HE'S APPREHENSIVE ABOUT EVERYTHING. HE NEED TO LOOSEN UP. - DO YOU LIKE SEXY? - UH, NO. - WHAT ABOUT YOU? - A LITTLE BIT. I MEAN, TALKING ABOUT IT, AND, LIKE, ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. - DAVID, HAVE YOU EVER SENT NAKED PHOTOS OF YOURSELF TO SOMEONE? - NO, I WOULD NOT GET MYSELF CAUGHT UP IN THAT. - DAVID, COME ON NOW. - WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE *** POSITION? - DOGGY STYLE. - I'D LIKE FOR THEM TO DO WHATEVER THEY LIKE TO DO. THAT WAY, WE'LL BOTH HAVE FUN AT THE SAME TIME. MAYBE I'LL LEARN SOMETHING NEW. MAYBE SHE'LL LEARN SOMETHING NEW. - WILLIAM, WHAT ABOUT YOU? - SHOOT, MAN. I-I GOT A COUPLE POSITIONS. - OH, MY GOD, WILLIAM. I COULDN'T TELL FROM THAT DANCE MOVE. - I LIKE COWGIRL. IT GIVES THE GIRL MORE CONTROL. - AW, THAT MEANS HE'S LAZY IN THE BED. - WELL, ON THAT NOTE, YOU GUYS WERE SO GREAT. ALL RIGHT, GUYS. HAVE A GOOD ONE. ALL RIGHT. WASN'T THAT FUN? DID YOU SEE? - THAT WAS FUN. - ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. WE HAVE DAVID. WE HAVE WILLIAM. WE HAVE ADRIAN. NOW, WHO DO YOU LIKE? - I DON'T KNOW. I NEED SOME HELP. - I AM GOING TO SELECT ADRIAN. - I AM INTERESTED IN ADRIAN, BUT I FEEL LIKE I KNOW ALREADY. - YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW. YOU JUST MORE OR LESS GOING ON WHAT YOU'VE JUST OBSERVED. - LIKE, NATALIE HAD CHOPPED MY *** UP SO MUCH IN, LIKE, OUR PREVIOUS CONVERSATIONS THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO TRUST HER JUDGMENT. - WELL, I THINK ADRIAN IS OUTGOING, I THINK HE'S FUN, AND I JUST THINK HE'S A GUY THAT YOU WILL FIND QUITE INTERESTING. ADRIAN IS THE GUY FOR MERCEDES. HE'S A GENTLEMAN, AND I THINK HE'LL BE ABLE TO HANDLE A WOMAN LIKE MERCEDES, AND HE WON'T TAKE IT TOO FAR ON A FIRST DATE. - HOPE HE'S THE RIGHT ONE. - SO NO TALKING ABOUT SEX. NO *** PICTURES. - AND REMEMBER: DON'T DOWNGRADE YOURSELF FOR ANYONE. ALWAYS UPGRADE, MM-KAY? AND IF THEY CAN'T RELATE TO YOU, THEY'RE NOT THE PERSON FOR YOU. ARE WE ON THE SAME PAGE? - YES. - ALL RIGHT. YES, WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE. COME ON. I'M GONNA WALK YOU OUT. - WHEN I KNEW I WAS GOING TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ADRIAN, I WAS, LIKE, [bleep] NATALIE'S RULES. I'M GONNA DO WHAT THE HELL I WANT TO DO. BUT WHEN I GOT TO THE POOL HALL, I SEE THIS TALL GUY. HIS HAIR WAS JUST, LIKE, LAYING ON HIS SHOULDERS, AND HE SMILED AT ME. YEAH, I WAS LIKE, "MOI?" BECAUSE I WAS ATTRACTED TO HIM, I DECIDED TO FOLLOW THE RULES THAT SHE HAD SET FORTH. - HI. I'M ADRIAN. NICE TO MEET YOU. - MERCEDES. - MERCEDES? YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. - THANK YOU. WE'RE KINDA MATCHING. - YES, WE ARE. FIRST CONNECTION. - YEAH. - [chuckles] - HE SMELLED GOOD. I, LIKE, CHECKED HIM, LIKE, FROM HEAD TO TOE. - YOU WANT TO BREAK? - LET'S SEE IF I CAN... - AIM. THERE YOU GO. - [gasps] - THERE WE GO! SEE? SO WHAT DO YOU DO? - I'M GETTING MY MASTER'S DEGREE RIGHT NOW. - YEAH. IN? - IN CRIMINOLOGY... - OOH. - AT FLORIDA ATLANTIC. - NICE. - THEN I WORK AT THE V.A. IN THE MENTAL HEALTH DEPARTMENT. - HOW IS THAT? - IT'S NOT AS BAD AS MANY PEOPLE THINK. ADRIAN'S ACTUALLY INTERESTED. HE ASKS QUESTIONS. HE JUST DIDN'T STAND THERE AND, LIKE, NOD HIS HEAD, LIKE, "MM." YEAH, I SERVED IN THE MILITARY. - WHAT BRANCH? - THE ARMY. - OH, NICE. - NATALIE WAS RIGHT. I NEED TO FIND A GUY THAT I CAN BE MY INTELLECTUAL SELF WITH THAT'S GONNA ACCEPT THAT, AND CAN BE WITH ME ON THAT LEVEL SO I CAN BE HAPPY TOO. - FOR EVERY BALL I MAKE, YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A KISS IN A DIFFERENT PLACE. - OKAY. - ALL RIGHT. YOU THINK I'LL MAKE IT? I THINK I WILL. - [gasps] [giggles] HE'S THE ONE FLIRTING WITH ME. I'M TRYING NOT TO ASK HIM ANYTHING ***. I'M TRYING NOT TO ASK HIM ABOUT HIS ***. IT FELT GOOD A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW, TO HOLD BACK AND LET HIM BE THE MAN, LET HIM FLIRT. HE MAKES ME NERVOUS AND IT'S GOOD. - SO I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, ALL RIGHT? TWO MINUTES? - MM-HMM. - OKAY. I'LL BE BACK. - ADRIAN'S GETTING UP. HIS PHONE IS JUST RIGHT HERE. IT IS SO HARD FOR ME TO NOT GO THROUGH HIS PHONE. I KEEP THINKING ABOUT NATALIE'S RULES. I'M TRYING SO HARD TO BE THE GOOD GIRL. BECAUSE I WAS ATTRACTED TO HIM AND WANTED TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT... - EVERYTHING GOOD? - YEAH. - I HAD DECIDED TO FOLLOW THE RULES THAT SHE HAD SET FORTH. I'M GLAD I DID. SO, UM, I ENJOYED MY TIME WITH YOU TODAY. - I HAD A GOOD TIME TOO. WE KIND OF MATCH IN MORE THAN ONE THING. I LIKED IT. - I HAVE TO, LIKE, GET TO WORK. - ALL RIGHT. I'LL WALK YOU OUT. - I LEFT THE DATE A LITTLE BIT UNSURE. HE COULD'VE BEEN BEING NICE. I MIGHT BE BEING PUNK'D AGAIN. SO IT WAS A UNEASY FEELING. [hip-hop music] ♪ ♪ - WALKING TO THE PARK FOR THE DATE, I'M THINKING I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH CAL. CAL WHO? WHO THE HELL IS THAT? OH, TIGHT PANTS? HE'S, LIKE, A SMALLER VERSION OF TYLER PERRY. I SEE HIM OUT THERE STRUGGLING WITH THE BLANKET AND STUFF, AND I'M JUST, LIKE, I'M NOT SITTING ON THAT DIRTY *** BLANKET ON THAT FLOOR. - NICE TO MEET YOU. - HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M KYLE. - NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M DANA. - PLEASURE. NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU. - AND THEN, WHEN I SAW HIM, I WAS LIKE, "DAMN, HE'S FINE AS HELL." YOU HAVE A NICE, LITTLE SETUP HERE. - YEAH, YEAH, SET UP A LITTLE PICNIC FOR US, YOU KNOW? - I WALKED UP ON YOU RAMBLING. - YEAH, YEAH, YOU SURPRISED ME. I DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU OVER THERE. [laughter] - AND I SAW THAT HE WAS REALLY INTO TRYING TO SET THINGS UP AND A LITTLE NERVOUS. SO I'M, LIKE, "ALL RIGHT." - YOU WANNA HAVE A SEAT? - SURE. - COOL, COOL. YEAH, YEAH. IT'S A LITTLE DRY OVER HERE. - THIS IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT. - YEAH, YEAH. A LITTLE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. THOUGHT WE COULD START OFF WITH A NICE LITTLE GLASS OF WINE. - THAT IS A GOOD START. - [groans] WE GOT SOME SNACKS FOR US OVER HERE. WE GOT SOME NICE STONE CRABS. [laughter] - WHEN HE OPENED HIS MOUTH, AND YOU HEAR HIS VOICE, AND HE'S ACTUALLY VERY INTELLIGENT, IT WAS JUST, LIKE, "DAMN. WHERE THE HELL YOU BEEN?" - LET'S GET YOU A NICE PIECE HERE. - WHERE ARE UTENSILS TO PROPERLY EAT WITH? - DON'T BE SCARED. - I'M NOT SCARED. I'M JUST--I'M NOT THAT BIG ON FINGER FOOD. - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU AND ME BOTH. [laughter] - COMING INTO THE DATE, NATALIE TOLD ME, "BE OPEN-MINDED." SO I TURNED THE *** SWITCH OFF AND I TOOK MYSELF OUT OF MY NORMAL CHARACTER TO TRY TO ADAPT. - YOU LIKE IT? - MM-HMM. GOOD CHOICE. GOOD JOB. - THANK YOU. I GOT SOME OTHER GOODIES. I WANTED TO BE ALL ROMANTIC AND FEATURE STRAWBERRIES. - UH... - SO... WOULD YOU LIKE ONE OF MY STRAWBERRIES? - MM, YOUR DIRTY-*** HANDS ARE NOT COMING TOWARDS MY MOUTH. I'M NOT GONNA FEED YOU. YOU'RE NOT FEEDING ME. SO, KEEP YOUR DISTANCE. NATALIE WAS LITERALLY IN MY EAR. - SO WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE'S GONNA BE ATTRACTED TO A "***"? - NATALIE, I KNOW. [chuckles] LET ME TRY TO GIVE HIM A DIFFERENT SIDE OF ME THAT I'VE NEVER GIVEN A GUY IN A VERY LONG TIME. DO YOU MIND IF I FEED IT TO MYSELF? - OH, NO, NOT AT ALL. THAT'S TOTALLY FINE WITH ME. - THANK YOU. [laughs] - [laughs] - I WASN'T WITH THE WHOLE FEEDING-EACH-OTHER YET, BUT I COULD SEE US GETTING THERE. - YOU WANNA GO FOR A LITTLE STROLL? - UH, WE CAN. - COOL. [groaning] - ARE YOU--ARE YOU THE DOMINANT ONE IN THE--IN THE RELATIONSHIP? - USUALLY, I AM. - AH. - I'LL BE HONEST. IT COMES FROM MY WORK. PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT ONCE YOU'RE-- YOU PUT ON THIS FACADE FOR SO LONG BECAUSE YOU HAD TO FOR YOUR WORK, THEN EVEN WHEN YOU'RE OFF, SOMETIMES, THAT STILL COMES OUT. - BUT YOU-- YOU MEAN WELL, THOUGH. - I MEAN WELL, EXACTLY, AND I'M ACTUALLY SEMI-RELAXED. - THAT'S GOOD. I'M GLAD YOU'RE COMFORTABLE AND--AND YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELF. I AM TOO. LET ME GET SOME. [chuckles] - OH, OKAY. HE ACCEPTED THE HAND SANITIZER. I WAS EXCITED ABOUT THAT. I WAS, LIKE, "OKAY, I'M NOT THE WEIRDO HERE." I'M, LIKE, "WOW. WHERE DID THIS GUY COME FROM? "WHERE HAS HE BEEN? AND WHY THE HELL I COULDN'T FIND HIM ON MY OWN?" YOU ARE SO SWEET. - THANK YOU, THANK YOU. YOU ARE TOO. - THANK YOU. I--YOU KNOW, I REALLY WORKED HARD. - YOU WORK TOO HARD. - DID IT WORK? - DEFINITELY DID. - HEY. - HI, MERCEDES! HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. - I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR HOW MERCEDES' DATE WENT WITH ADRIAN. I HOPE SHE DIDN'T MEAT CHECK HIM. TELL ME ABOUT THE DATE. - YEAH, I THINK I DID A GOOD JOB. I DIDN'T VIOLATE HIM. I DIDN'T DO ANY MEAT CHECKING. - THAT IS-- - I WAS DOING--I WAS GOOD. - SO THAT MEANS YOU DID NOT TALK ABOUT PENISES. - MM-MMM. - NONE OF THAT. - NONE OF THAT. - OKAY. - HE WAS REALLY FLIRTING WITH ME. I WAS HOLDING BACK. - DID YOU DOWNGRADE YOURSELF THIS TIME? - I DID NOT. I WAS OPEN. I TALKED ABOUT MY MILITARY EXPERIENCE. I TALKED ABOUT WORKING IN THE MENTAL HEALTH DEPARTMENT. - GOOD, AND YOU HAD FUN. - AND I HAD FUN. - SO IS HE SOMEONE THAT YOU WOULDN'T MIND GOING ON A SECOND DATE WITH? - I WOULD GO ON A SECOND DATE WITH HIM. - DO YOU THINK THAT HE WOULD WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN? - I WOULD HOPE THAT HE DOES. - LET'S FIND OUT 'CAUSE I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU. - ANNA, SEND ADRIAN IN FOR ME, PLEASE. - HELLO. - COMING UP... IS MERCEDES SOMEONE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE AGAIN? DO YOU THINK THAT HE WOULD WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN? - I'M HOPING THAT HE WANTS TO. - WELL, GUESS WHAT? WE GONNA SEE RIGHT NOW. - HE'S HERE? - HE'S HERE. - I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU. ANNA, SEND ADRIAN IN FOR ME, PLEASE. - HELLO. - both: HI. - [chuckles] both: HEY. - WHEN ADRIAN WALKED INTO THE ROOM, I WAS SHOCKED. I WAS, LIKE, "HOLD THE [bleep] UP." - SO, TELL ME, DID YOU HAVE FUN? - YEAH. YEAH, WE HAD FUN. THERE WAS, LIKE, SOME KIND OF CONNECTIONS SINCE, LIKE, WE MET. - IS MERCEDES SOMEONE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE AGAIN? - DEFINITELY YES. - YOU HEARD THAT? DEFINITELY. - I'M DEFINITELY LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING HIM AGAIN, AND I KNOW HE IS LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING ME. I GUESS NATALIE AND HER TOUGH LOVE TACTICS DID COME THROUGH. - MAKE SURE WHEN YOU GUYS LEAVE HERE, PLAN THE SECOND DATE. DAMN, I'M GOOD. GOOD-BYE. HOW'S IT GOING? - GREAT. - HOW ARE YOU? - YOU LOOK PRETTY. I'M VERY CURIOUS TO SEE HOW THE DATE WITH DANA AND CAL WENT. I HOPE SHE COULD POSSIBLY TURN THE *** SWITCH OFF... COMPLETELY OFF. HOW DID IT GO? - HE WAS ASKING A LOT OF QUESTIONS, MADE ME FEEL AS IF HE WAS INTO ME, AND FOR A DIFFERENCE, I ACTUALLY ASKED HIM SOME QUESTIONS. - AND WHAT ABOUT THAT *** SWITCH? - [laughs] IT WAS COMPLETELY TURNED OFF. - TURNED OFF. I'M SURE YOU WOULD AGREE THAT IT'S NOT NECESSARY, RIGHT? - NO. - DO YOU THINK THAT HE WILL WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN? - I'M HONESTLY HOPING THAT HE WANTS TO. I WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN, BUT I-I REALLY DON'T KNOW. - WELL, GUESS WHAT? WE GONNA SEE RIGHT NOW. - HE'S HERE? - HE'S HERE. - [giggles] - ANNA, CAN YOU PLEASE SEND CAL IN? - OH, [bleep]. - HELLO, HELLO. - WHAT IS HE GONNA SAY? HE'S PROBABLY GONNA BE, LIKE, "THIS GIRL GOT TOO MANY ISSUES." - SO WHAT IS IT THAT YOU LIKED ABOUT DANA? - OH, SHE'S A FREE-SPIRITED PERSON. - YOU SAID FREE-SPIRITED? - YES, ABSOLUTELY. - OKAY. WOW. IT'S AMAZING HOW SHE TOTALLY CHANGED. LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. - UH-HUH. - WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT WITH DANA AGAIN? - ABSOLUTELY. ABSOLUTELY. I WAS WAITING TO SEE HER AGAIN. I COULDN'T WAIT. - OH! - [laughs] YOU'RE NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE I'M HERE, RIGHT? - NO, NO, NO, NO. - THIS IS SO SPECIAL! - I WAS JUST MAKING SURE YOU WEREN'T GOING TO BUST MY BUBBLE LIKE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO SEE ME AGAIN. - WOW. I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. I'M GETTING TEARY-EYED. - "A" FOR EFFORT. WE APPRECIATE IT. - LET'S HUG IT OUT... - ABSOLUTELY. [chuckles] - AND I WISH YOU GUYS SO MUCH JOY. THANK YOU. - THANK YOU, ABSOLUTELY. [chuckles] - ALL RIGHT! DANA TURNED THE *** SWITCH OFF, LET HER GUARD DOWN ON THE FIRST DATE, AND NOW, SHE'S OPENED HERSELF UP TO LOVE. AND MERCEDES WASN'T OVERLY *** ON HER FIRST DATE. SHE WAS ABLE TO BE MORE HERSELF, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, SHE DIDN'T DUMB HERSELF DOWN. SO SWEET! OH, MY GOODNESS. ♪ I AM THE ONE ♪ YEAH. THIS SEASON ON FIND ME MY MAN... - I DON'T TURN HEADS. I BREAK NECKS. - WHAT DO I HAVE TO OFFER? ALL OF THIS. - I TREAT MY BOYFRIENDS LIKE THEY'RE MY BABIES. - OH, MY GOODNESS. IS SHE CRAZY? - MY FUTURE HUSBAND HAS MONEY, ASSETS, AND RESOURCES. HELLO? - YEAH, SHE CRAZY. - OH. - WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU WHOA-ING? - IT'S ABOUT AS CLOSE TO *** AS YOU CAN GET. - I WANNA STAB HIM IN THE FREAKING EYE. - IT'S TOO ROUGH. IT'S TOO GHETTO. - OH, WELL. - DON'T COME AT ME WITH THAT OKEYDOKE. YOU WANNA PLAY? GET TO THE DAMN PARK. YOU CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE A GOOD MAN WHEN HE'S STANDING IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE. IF THEY CAN'T LIKE YOU FOR YOU, SEE YA, BOO! GOSH, YOU GUYS LOOK GOOD. WHAT DO YOU BRING TO THE TABLE? OH, MY GOODNESS. I HAVE THE FINAL CHOICE, AND I SELECT ALFRED. - OH, MY GOD. - THERE WAS CHEMISTRY. WE LIKED EACH OTHER. both: SALUD. - MY JOB IS TO BE THERE WHEN MY CLIENT SAYS, "FIND ME MY MAN." FOR MORE INFORMATION ON FIND ME MY MAN, GO TO OXYGEN.COM.