Mystery Date

( theme music playing ) ( coughing ) YOU SOUND TERRIBLE. YOU EVEN LOOK TERRIBLE. YOU DON'T. ( coughing ) I'M GOING TO STAND OVER HERE. FINE, IF YOU THINK YOU'LL BE SAFE OVER THERE BY YOURSELF. ( elevator dings ) - GOING UP. - SO AM I. THANK YOU. MY GOD, DON. MY BAD PENNY. ANDREA, THIS IS MY WIFE MEGAN. MEGAN, THIS IS ANDREA. SHE'S A FREELANCE WRITER FOR, YOU KNOW, THE FIRM. OH, NICE TO MEET YOU. YES, YOU AS WELL. ( elevator dings ) Andrea: WELL, GOODBYE. IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU. ( coughing ) INCROYABLE. - LOOK-- - YOU LOOK. HOW MANY TIMES IS THIS GOING TO HAPPEN? WHAT? I WORKED WITH HER SIX YEARS AGO. WE'RE IN MIDTOWN. I'M GOING TO RUN INTO PEOPLE. YOU KNOW, THERE ARE SOME PARTS OF TOWN WHERE WE CAN RUN INTO SOME PEOPLE I WORKED WITH. ( coughing ) ( sighs ) ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS THAT THEY'RE SEE-THROUGH. WHY IS TRANSPARENCY DESIRABLE IN PANTYHOSE? I CAN SEE FINE. YOU WANT TO GET IN HERE WITH ME? - HELLO, PEGASUS. - HEY, YOU. - YOU HAVE TO LET ME ANNOUNCE YOU. - GO AHEAD. HELLO, STANLEY, GINSO. I HAVE AMAZING PHOTOS-- CRIME SCENE SNAPS FROM CHICAGO'S STUDENT NURSE MASSACRE. - NOT SUITABLE FOR PUBLICATION. - WHAT? ( typewriter clacking ) OH, MY GOD. ( sucks in breath ) I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE UPSET OVER NOTHING. - YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE. I'LL GET OVER IT. - MEGAN. I'M FINE. YOU SHOULD BE. - THEY LOOK LIKE RAG DOLLS. - WERE THEY ***? THEY DON'T KNOW, BUT A COUPLE OF THESE ARE NAKED. - IT WENT ON FOR HOURS. - UGH. - THE REST JUST WAITED. - THEY WERE TIED UP. - ( door closes ) - I'M SORRY I'M LATE. MEGAN. I'VE GOT SOME PICTURES. GINSBERG, YOU GOT TO SEE THESE. ( coughing ) I'LL SEE YOU LATER. AND I'LL SEE YOU LATER. THE SEX MURDERS IN CHICAGO. - THE STUDENT NURSES. - REALLY? TAKE IT. - OH, MY GOD. - LOOK AT THE BOTTOM ROW. I THINK THIS IS GOING TO MAKE THE COVER, NOT THE RIOTS. - REALLY? - YEAH, WE DID THE RIOTS THIS WEEK. WATTS A YEAR LATER. PLUS, THERE HAVE BEEN FIVE RIOTS THIS SUMMER. I SAY IT'S BETTER THAN EVEN MONEY MR. LUCE FINDS A TASTEFUL WAY TO DO THIS. YOU KNOW WHAT-- PUT IT AWAY. IT'S DISGUSTING. IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS I WISH I DIDN'T SEE. - AND WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? - WE'RE NOT LAUGHING. NO, YOU'RE EXCITED BY IT. SOME GIRL TRUSSED UP LIKE A CUT OF MEAT? EIGHT GIRLS, BUT NINE WERE KIDNAPPED. ONE SURVIVED. I ONLY AM ESCAPED ALONE TO TELL THEE. HOW DID SHE DO THAT? SHE HID UNDER THE BED. HE LOST COUNT. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE SICKOS. MICHAEL. HE'S RIGHT. ( gas hissing ) IT'S BEEN 25 MINUTES. IT'S NOT EVEN SET. I TOLD YOU THE JETS ARE CLOGGED. GIVE ME SOME MONEY. I'LL GO TO THE BAKERY. AND WE NEED TO GET BEER. GREG LIKES SCHAEFER. DO WE HAVE TIME? NOT IF YOU WANT ME TO GET THE BABY OUT OF HERE BY NOON. WHY? HE'S GOING TO WANT TO SEE KEVIN MORE THAN ME. THAT'S WHAT HE'S GOING TO SAY, BUT HE'S GOING TO WANT YOU RIGHT AWAY. LET ME GO GET MY PURSE. YOU'RE MAKING ME VERY ANXIOUS RIGHT NOW. IT'S OKAY TO BE ANXIOUS. IT'S NORMAL. EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE UNFAMILIAR FOR BOTH OF YOU. AND WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S SEEN? WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S DONE? HE'S A SURGEON. HE WASN'T IN COMBAT. HE SAW THE SAME THINGS THERE HE SAW HERE. WELL, THERE ARE OTHER THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN MEN ARE AWAY, - ESPECIALLY AT WAR. - STOP IT. STOP TALKING ABOUT MEN IN GENERAL WHEN I KNOW IT'S ALL ABOUT DADDY. EVEN IF THERE HAVEN'T BEEN OTHER WOMEN, HE'S NOT USED TO LISTENING TO A WOMAN. IT'S JUST THE IDEA OF COMING HOME AND FINDING A LITTLE HOLE IN HIS LIFE AND STICKING HIS ELBOW THROUGH UNTIL HE CAN WALK ALL THE WAY IN. I KNOW. AND THAT'S WHY I WANT TO START WITH HIM SEEING HIS SON FOR THE FIRST TIME. HE'LL KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. YOU'RE RIGHT. DO YOU REALLY WANT A CAKE? BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO TAKE ME A WHILE TO GET DRESSED. COULD YOU? - ( intercom buzzes ) - Your daughter's on line one. HELLO, SWEETHEART. WHAT'S THE MATTER? GRANDMA PAULINE IS STILL HERE AND I HATE HER. STAY OUT OF HER WAY. YOUR MOTHER WILL BE BACK FRIDAY MORNING. IT IS FRIDAY MORNING. SOMEONE CALLED ON HENRY'S PHONE AND SAID THAT THEY COULDN'T GET AN AIRPLANE FLIGHT, SO SOMEONE'S DRIVING THEM BACK FROM BUFFALO TONIGHT. YOU'D THINK HENRY COULD GET A FLIGHT. I KNOW. HE'S SO IMPORTANT. They call Bobby all the time in sleepaway camp. I GUESS IF I WAS PEEING IN MY PANTS, THEY MIGHT WANT TO SAY HI. THAT'S NOT NICE. Grandma Pauline wears so much perfume. Every time she comes near me, I want to barf. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME, THAT I'M ALLOWED TO WATCH AS MUCH TV AS I WANT BECAUSE IT'S THE SUMMER. YOUR MOTHER LETS YOU DO THAT? I'M ON VACATION. I THINK THE BEST THING IS FOR YOU TO GO OUT IN THE FRESH AIR AND GET SOME SUN. I DID. IT'S REALLY HOT. STOP COMPLAINING. I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET RICKETS IN THAT HAUNTED MANSION. I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEKEND. ( coughing ) HOW ARE YOU? I HAVE A COLD, BUT YOU'VE MADE ME FEEL BETTER. CAN'T YOU COME GET ME? NO. AND DON'T ASK AGAIN. - Okay, bye. - BYE. - ARE YOU SICK? - I'M GREAT. LET'S GO. SO IT STARTS WITH KEN COSGROVE CLIMBING OUT OF THE MUCK AND WALKING ON DRY LAND. HE SAYS A BUNCH OF NICE STUFF ABOUT GINSBERG AND YOU. I TOLD HIM NOT TO USE THE WORD GENIUS ABOUT EITHER OF US. AHEM, A WOMAN AND HER SECRETS-- OH, THE THINGS SHE'LL NEVER TELL, LIKE HOW LONG IT TOOK HER TO GET READY OR THE REASON SHE'S SMILING. A GOOD-LOOKING WOMAN AT A PARTY. AND WHERE SHE GOT THOSE INCREDIBLE SHOES. ANOTHER WOMAN, NOT TOO CATTY, SAYS, "I LOVE YOUR SHOES. WHERE DID YOU GET THEM?" WE HOLD ON FIVE SECONDS OF HER SHOWING OFF THE SHOE FROM THE CALF DOWN, AND THIS GIRL'S LEGS WILL BE SPECTACULAR. AND, YES, YOU CAN COME TO CASTING. ( coughing ) THAT'S PLENTY. ARE YOU KIDDING? I'M READY TO TAKE OFF HERE. I JUST WANTED TO HEAR THE TONE OF YOUR VOICE SO I CAN MAKE SURE IT'S NOT AS ANNOYING AS IT IS IN EVERYDAY LIFE. - ( snickers ) - IT'S CALLED A REGIONAL ACCENT. AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, YOU'VE GOT ONE, TOO. WE CAN'T ALL SOUND LIKE WALTER CRONKITE. DO YOU LIKE THIS? I NEVER SAW BOARDS FOR THE CINDERELLA THING. WELL, YOU KILLED IT, AND FOR GOOD REASON. CINDERELLA AND SHOES IS A CLICHE. - YOU COULD HAVE T.B. - SLEEPING BEAUTY? SNOW WHITE? NOTHING WORKED? THEY'RE MORE ABOUT NECROPHILIA THAN SHOES. IT'S FOOTWEAR. DON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE. ( doorbell rings ) ( gasps ) ( both laugh ) - OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE SO SKINNY. - SO ARE YOU. Gail: SOMEBODY WANTS TO SAY HELLO. JESUS, IS THAT HIM? HOLY CRAP, LOOK AT HIM. JOANIE, I'LL GET THAT. YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS FULL. WE THOUGHT YOUR FLIGHT MIGHT BE LATE BECAUSE OF THE STRIKE. YEAH, WE PICKED UP SOME FOLKS IN HONOLULU WHO HAD BEEN STRANDED, BUT EVERYTHING WAS FINE. GAIL, GO GET THE BROWNIE. I DON'T THINK WE HAVE ANY FILM. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL TAKE KEVIN AND GO GET SOME, SO YOU TWO CAN VISIT A SPELL. OKAY, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. YOU HAVE SUPPLIES IN CASE YOU HAVE TO BE GONE FOR A WHILE? I HAVE EVERYTHING. AND SO DO YOU, GREG. GET OVER HERE. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? OUT IN THE WILDERNESS, BABY. ( phone ringing ) - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - LOOKING FOR ASPIRIN. - WHY DON'T YOU HAVE DAWN DO IT? - I'M EMBARRASSED. I'VE EATEN UP A BOTTLE SINCE SHE'S BEEN HERE. MY HUSBAND'S AN ASPIRIN ADDICT. - I'M SO ASHAMED. - ( coughing ) YOU'RE VERY WARM. I'M SENDING YOU HOME. I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS MORNING. IT COULDN'T BE AVOIDED. IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO AND I WAS UNHAPPY. BECAUSE YOU WERE MARRIED. IT'S FINE. IT'S JUST EMBARRASSING. WHY SHOULD YOU BE EMBARRASSED? SERIOUSLY? BECAUSE YOU'RE MARRIED TO ME NOW. AND AFTER ALLISON AND FAYE MILLER AND WHO KNOWS HOW MANY MORE... I WAS DIVORCED. AND NOW YOU'RE NOT. AND THAT KIND OF CARELESS APPETITE-- YOU CAN'T BLAME THAT ON BETTY. I TELL YOU, LET IT GO. - YOU BROUGHT IT UP. - NO, I DIDN'T. YOU DID. AND ALL I CAN THINK IS YOU FEEL GUILTY, WHICH MAKES IT WORSE THAN I THOUGHT. I MARRIED YOU. AND I'M GOING TO BE WITH YOU UNTIL I DIE... WHICH COULD BE THIS AFTERNOON. IS THIS REALLY HOW YOU WANT TO SPEND MY LAST HOURS ON EARTH? SWEETIE, GO HOME. I HAVE TO GO TO THIS MEETING SO I CAN SKIP THE NEXT TWO. AT LEAST GO LIE DOWN. ( dog barking ) EAT YOUR SANDWICH. I'M NOT HUNGRY. OH, MY LORD. - THOSE POOR SOULS. - WHAT? NOTHING. OW! SOME THINGS ARE NOT FOR CHILDREN. MOMMY LETS ME WATCH THE NEWS. YOU DEMANDED TUNA SALAD, SO YOU'RE GOING TO SIT THERE UNTIL YOU EAT IT. IT HAS RELISH IN IT. YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TASTED IT. YOU HURT MY HAND. WELL, I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. I'M SORRY. BUT YOU HAVE TO BE RESPECTFUL. I KNOW YOUR MOTHER HAS OTHER RULES. - SHE DOESN'T HAVE RULES. - I DON'T BELIEVE THAT, BUT I BELIEVE THAT SHE MAY BE DISTRACTED. AND I AM SURE SHE WOULD BE SICK IF SHE KNEW HOW YOU WERE BEHAVING. NOW YOU'RE GOING TO FINISH THAT SANDWICH, CRUSTS AND ALL. I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES ALL DAY. ( music playing ) HOW'D YOU SLEEP? VERY WELL, THANK YOU. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HE'S MAKING LUNCH. HE WON'T LISTEN. GREG, HONEY, I HAVE STEAK. MOM BOUGHT A CAKE. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I HAD STEAK IN VIETNAM. I DID NOT HAVE BOLOGNA. AND I'LL HAVE VEAL TONIGHT WITH MY FOLKS. WHAT ARE THE THREE OF YOU UP TO? I'M SHOWING KEVIN HOW GOOD I AM WITH MY HANDS. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE RIOTS. PLENTY OF NEGROES IN SAIGON AND THEY'RE PLENTY BRAVE. I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A RULE THAT YOU HAVE TO WEAR YOUR UNIFORM ALL THE TIME WHEN YOU'RE HOME. GAIL, IS THERE A CHANCE YOU COULD PICK UP MORE BEER? OF COURSE. I WANTED TO GET THE AFTERNOON PAPER ANYWAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH, MOM. WE'LL BE BACK IN TIME FOR DINNER. YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE, YOU KNOW? THANK YOU. I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. GREG, IF SOMETHING HAPPENED OVER THERE AND YOU FEEL THE NEED TO TELL ME, YOU SHOULDN'T. AND IF YOU DO, YOU CERTAINLY SHOULDN'T ASK ME TO HOLD YOUR HAND. WHAT? NO. NO, IT'S NOT THAT. LISTEN, JOANIE, THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE OF PLANS. I HAVE TO GO BACK. I KNOW, FOR ANOTHER 40 DAYS. NO, FOR A YEAR. WHAT? IT WAS ONE YEAR HERE AND ONE YEAR THERE. THAT'S WHAT THEY TOLD YOU. LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE HEARING A LOT OF HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE. IT COULDN'T BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. - YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY. - YOU DID YOUR PART. THEY'RE A BUNCH OF LIARS. NOBODY LIED TO ANYBODY. IT'S MORE COMPLICATED. IT'S WAR. IT DOESN'T STOP FOR OUR PLANS. AND I'VE COME TO TERMS WITH THAT. NOW WE HAVE 10 DAYS TOGETHER. LET'S NOT WASTE IT. I NEED TO STORE UP AS MUCH OF YOU AS POSSIBLE. AND, YES, YOU CAN COME TO CASTING. Michael: AND YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GOOD, WAIT TILL YOU SEE IT IN PRINT. "YOU'LL NEVER TELL. THEY'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO." I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO YOU THINK, MR. BUTLER? I THINK KEN WAS RIGHT-- YOU'RE A GENIUS. ( coughing ) SQUARE-ON STRATEGY. I THINK THE BOYS DID A GOOD JOB. THE GIRL SHOULD BE EUROPEAN-LOOKING. MAYBE GET A FRENCH GIRL. GREAT. SO? SOLD. I HAVE TO TELL YOU, YOUNG MAN, YOU REALLY KNOW WOMEN. I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE. THIS REALLY GETS INSIDE THEIR HEADS. WELL, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, THEY CONFUSE ME. I MEAN, I KEEP THINKING ABOUT CINDERELLA. WE WERE GOING TO COME IN HERE AND TALK ABOUT CINDERELLA, BUT IT'S TOO DARK. REALLY? WE WERE KIND OF HOPING FOR IT. NAH, I DON'T THINK SO. I MEAN, SHE'S RUNNING DOWN THIS DARK SIDE STREET. AND IT'S OUTSIDE A CASTLE, SO IT'S GOT THOSE WALLS AND THE COBBLESTONES. AND SHE'S RUNNING, BUT SHE'S ONLY GOT THIS ONE INCREDIBLE SHOE FOR HER INCREDIBLE GOWN, SO SHE'S HOBBLING, WOUNDED PREY. SHE CAN HEAR HIM BEHIND HER, HIS MEASURED FOOTSTEPS CATCHING UP. SHE TURNS A CORNER. THOSE BIG SHADOWS. AND SHE'S SCARED. AND THEN SHE FEELS A HAND ON HER SHOULDER AND SHE TURNS AROUND. AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE. HE'S HANDSOME AT THAT MOMENT OFFERING HER HER SHOE. SHE TAKES IT. SHE KNOWS SHE'S NOT SAFE, BUT SHE DOESN'T CARE. I GUESS WE KNOW IN THE END SHE WANTS TO BE CAUGHT. SEE? IT'S TOO DARK. WHY DON'T WE DO THAT? THE MAN SAID SOLD. YOU WANTED CINDERELLA ANYWAY. - YOU FORGOT THAT. - NO, I SAID IT WAS A CLICHE. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THEY WOULDN'T LIKE IT, BUT IN YOUR HEART YOU KNEW IT WAS GOOD. IN MY HEART I'M ON THE VERGE OF THROWING YOU IN FRONT OF A CAB. OKAY. SO HOWEVER PROUD OF YOURSELF YOU'RE FEELING RIGHT NOW, JUST KNOW THAT EVERYTHING I'M SAYING HAS "OR ELSE" AFTER IT. DON'T DO THAT AGAIN. THINK OF THOSE IDEAS IN FRONT OF ME. DON'T DO THAT AGAIN. ( coughs ) I GOTTA MAKE A CALL. HE'S SUCH A DECENT GUY. YOU KNOW YOU ALMOST GOT FIRED JUST NOW. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT. I'M POSITIVE. - ( intercom buzzes ) - Mr. Draper is on line one. HELLO. HOW'D IT GO? GOOD. WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? I'M KEEPING YOUR CHAIR WARM. SO I'LL SWING BY AND GET YOU IN AN HOUR? WELL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO HOME, CLIMB INTO BED? - REALLY? - Yes. I ONLY NEED ANOTHER COUPLE OF HOURS. AND, DON, no smoking. ( coughing ) ( sighs ) MOHAWK SAYS THAT L.B.J. IS SCARED OF FORCING THE MECHANICS TO ARBITRATION BECAUSE HE HAS MIDTERM ELECTIONS AND HE'S WORRIED ABOUT LOSING THE LABOR VOTE. - THAT'S GOOD NEWS. - YES, IT IS. THE STRIKE'S GOING TO GO ON FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE MORE WEEKS AND MOHAWK CAN SOP UP ALL THE EXTRA ROUTES. SO THEY WANT US TO WALK THEM THROUGH THE CAMPAIGN FIRST THING MONDAY MORNING. - A PHONE CALL WILL DO. - THE CAMPAIGN, OF COURSE. WE'RE READY TO GO. HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND. DAMN IT. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE, CLARA. GOOD NIGHT, MR. CAMPBELL. ( laughter ) WHERE'S GINSBERG? HE'S PROBABLY EVERYWHERE AFTER DON SCATTERED HIS ASHES. APPARENTLY HE WENT HAYWIRE IN THE PRESENTATION DOWNSTAIRS. I DON'T CARE. CALL HIM. I JUST DID. HE'S NOT HOME. - IS HE COMING BACK? - YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING TO GO OUT THERE AND FIND HIM. I'M GOING TO START WITH THE WHOLE WORLD AND THEN I'M GOING TO EVENTUALLY CHECK MY APARTMENT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT? I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND? ARE YOU DRUNK? GET YOUR FEET OFF THAT DESK. I NEED YOU TO WORK UP SOMETHING FOR MOHAWK. OH, I'M SORRY. FOR MOHAWK, YOUR, QUOTE, "MAN" IS GINSBERG. LET'S SAY YOU WERE TO DO THIS FOR ME AND ON MONDAY YOU EXPLAIN TO GINSBERG AND CAMPBELL THAT I ASKED YOU TO... ONLY I ASKED YOU SOMETIME LAST WEEK. DO YOU HAVE A BRIEF? - DID GINSBERG HAVE A BRIEF? - I NEVER TOLD GINSBERG, OKAY? YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT. - YOU KNOW ABOUT THE AIRLINE STRIKE, RIGHT? - YES. WHY IS MOHAWK STILL FLYING? BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH ALL THE OTHER MECHANICS ARE ON STRIKE-- BOO-HOO, THEY NEED MORE WRENCHES OR SOMETHING-- MOHAWK'S MECHANICS HAVE A SIDE DEAL, SO THEY HAVE TO KEEP WORKING. THEY MUST LOVE THAT. YEAH, WELL, THEY'RE GOING TO LOVE THE OVERTIME. AMERICAN AIRLINES IS TAKING EVERYTHING BIG AND GIVING THEIR NORTHEAST CORRIDOR TO MOHAWK. ( sighs ) SO WHAT DO YOU WANT? HOW ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE "MOHAWK, BREAKING THE STRIKE ONE FLIGHT AT A TIME"? OR MAYBE "FLY OVER THE PICKET LINE WITH MOHAWK"? HEY, TROTSKY, YOU'RE IN ADVERTISING. FINE. SO WHAT'S THE ANGLE? CAMPBELL OR I HAD THIS IDEA THAT IT WOULD BE SOMETHING ABOUT, YOU KNOW, HOW TIMES ARE TOUGH AND YOU CAN'T GET ANYWHERE. SO THANK GOD MOHAWK IS OFFERING EMERGENCY SERVICE. YOU DON'T WANT TO USE THE WORD EMERGENCY WITH AN AIRPLANE. I DON'T WANT TO DO ANY OF THIS. I'LL SEE YOU MONDAY. HOLD ON A SECOND. YOU WANT ME TO WORK UP AN ENTIRE CORPORATE IMAGE CAMPAIGN FOR $10? I CAN MAKE YOU DO IT FOR NOTHING. I'M THE BOSS. YOU'RE RIGHT. THE WORK IS $10, THE LIE IS EXTRA. INCREDIBLE. WHAT DO YOU MAKE A WEEK, SWEETHEART? MM, YOU DON'T KNOW, HUH? THAT'S HELPFUL. YOU KNOW, I COULD FIRE YOU. GREAT. THERE ARE SOME PORTFOLIOS IN JOAN'S OFFICE. MAYBE YOU COULD FIND SOMEBODY TONIGHT. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING VERY DEMANDING FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS NO OTHER CHOICE. - ( sighs ) - DAZZLE ME. FINE. HOW MUCH YOU WANT? HOW MUCH YOU GOT? - $400. - GIVE ME ALL OF IT. JESUS! IT BETTER BE GOOD. DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOUR WATCH? ( sighs ) I'M ON MY WAY OUT. ARE YOU STAYING? HELLO. GOOD NIGHT. YEAH. SOMETHING CAME UP. WOULD YOU TELL PATRICIA SHE CAN GO HOME? OKAY. ( doorbell rings ) GET IN HERE. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? - WE DIDN'T GET TO TALK. WE'VE DONE ALL THE TALKING WE'RE EVER GOING TO DO. ARE YOU OKAY? HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE? - I HAVE A WAY WITH DOORMEN. - I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU. YOU CAN EITHER TAKE THE STEPS OR YOU CAN GO OFF THE BALCONY BECAUSE IF YOU RUN INTO MY WIFE ON THE WAY OUT OF HERE, YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOU HAD. OOH, FORCEFUL. MY, OH, MY. EVERYBODY PROBABLY THINKS THAT SHE DID THIS, BUT I KNOW IT WAS YOU. YOU REALLY SHOULD GO. I GOTTA LIE DOWN. I'LL TAKE THE STEPS. YOU KNOW WHAT-- TAKE THE SERVICE ELEVATOR. GOODBYE. I'M SORRY. - YOU'VE GOTTA UNDERSTAND. - ARE YOU OKAY? PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO GO. IT WAS JUST SEX. IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. I'M SORRY. I'VE GOTTA LIE DOWN. ( TV playing ) THE GIRL UNDER THE BED-- OH! I'D BE SURPRISED IF SHE COULD EVER TALK AGAIN. THAT POOR THING-- PARALYZED WITH FEAR WHILE HE OPENED THAT DOOR EIGHT TIMES AND DRAGGED ANOTHER ONE OUT? AND THAT... NO, AS MUCH AS I'D LOVE TO GO, I CAN'T MAKE ANY PLANS UNTIL THEY WALTZ THROUGH THAT DOOR. MM. YOU NEED TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH. RIGHT NOW? ( TV turns off ) TAKE OUT THE TRASH OR YOU CAN GO TO BED RIGHT NOW, WATCH THE SUN SET FROM YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW. IT'S THE SADDEST THING IN THE WORLD. IF I TAKE OUT THE TRASH, WILL YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE ***? NO. I WILL NOT BARGAIN WITH YOU. HOW OLD ARE YOU? THAT'S SOMETHING WE GIRLS KEEP TO OURSELVES. WAS YOUR MOM STRICT? NO, BUT MY FATHER WAS AND I'M A BETTER PERSON FOR IT. I KNOW YOU DON'T THINK SO, BUT I'M A GOOD PERSON. SALLY, I JUST THINK SOMEONE IN YOUR WORLD NEEDS TO DISCIPLINE YOU SO YOU CAN START ACTING LIKE AN ADULT. MY FATH-- MY FATHER. I REMEMBER ONE TIME HE WAS SLEEPING ON THE COUCH IN THE LIVING ROOM AND I WALKED BY. AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, OUT OF NOWHERE, HE KICKED ME SO HARD THAT I ACTUALLY FLEW ACROSS THE ROOM AND HIT A PIECE OF FURNITURE. AND THEN HE LOOKED AT ME AND HE SAID, "THAT'S FOR NOTHING, SO LOOK OUT." THAT'S NOT VERY NICE. NO, BUT IT WAS VALUABLE ADVICE. ( band playing ) WHEN IN DOUBT, GO WITH THE MOST EXPENSIVE, RIGHT, POPS? I DON'T WANT ANY WINE. OKAY, CAN WE ALL CHEER UP, PLEASE? WE'RE TOGETHER, I HAVE A NEW BABY BOY, NOT TO MENTION THIS PLACE COSTS A FORTUNE. SO HOW ARE WE STARTING? THE LOVELY SENORA? - I'LL HAVE A GIN FIZZ. - EVERYBODY ELSE IS HAVING WINE, BUT YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A SECOND. - HOW ARE YOU DOING? - CAN'T COMPLAIN. ENJOY YOURSELF. THANK YOU. YOU, TOO, SIR. FIRST ARMORED DIVISION. FORT HOOD. DO YOU WANT ME TO COME BACK? NO, BUT YOU CAN RECOMMEND SOMETHING. - ARE YOU IN A RUSH? - NO, IT'S JUST THAT I GOT A BUNCH OF TABLES. WELL, I'M SORRY IF THAT LITTLE DISPLAY OF RESPECT IS SLOWING YOU DOWN, BUT A LOT OF KIDS YOUR AGE WOULD BE THRILLED TO BE WAITING TABLES TONIGHT. I'M SORRY, SIR. OF COURSE. - ( song ends ) - ( applause ) THIS IS A NICE ONE. THANK YOU. THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. THE SCAMPI LOOKS VERY GOOD. I'M SORRY, THIS IS A PAINFUL CHARADE. - MOM, PLEASE. - I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. EVERYONE ELSE IS TRYING TO COME HOME. RUTH, GREG IS FACING THIS WITH GREAT BRAVERY AND I'M PROUD OF HIM. HE DID HIS TIME. YOU'VE GOT TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT. MOM, I DON'T WANT YOUR GRANDSON HEARING THIS ARGUMENT. JOE, YOU WERE IN THE SERVICE. CAN'T YOU WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR CONGRESSMAN AND TELL HIM HE'S GOT A FAMILY? WHY? IS SOME CONGRESSMAN GOING TO TALK HIM OUT OF GOING BACK? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I'M PUTTING A MORATORIUM ON THIS CONVERSATION. NOW WE ARE EITHER GOING TO HAVE THIS DINNER THAT I'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT FOR MONTHS OR WE CAN ALL GO HOME. HE DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT IT. OF COURSE NOT. WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT? DID YOU HAVE A SAY IN THIS? YOU'RE A FATHER NOW. - WHAT? - JOANIE, CALM DOWN. YOU VOLUNTEERED? THEY NEED ME. ( accordion playing ) YOU KNOW, JOANIE PLAYS THE ACCORDION. ( typewriter clacking ) ( soft tap ) HELLO? HELLO? IS SOMEBODY HERE? ( both scream ) ( sighs ) WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I FELL ASLEEP. WELL, IT'S TIME TO GO HOME. I WILL, IN A BIT. COME ON, I DON'T WANT TO WALK OUT ALONE. I DON'T KNOW. I THINK I'LL JUST STAY HERE. YOU CAN HOP IN A CAB. I HAPPEN TO HAVE A LOT OF CASH FOR ONCE. EVEN IF A CAB WAS GOING TO TAKE ME, THEY'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE ME PAST 96th STREET. REALLY? WELL, THEN, TAKE THE SUBWAY. MY BROTHER WON'T LET ME-- YOU KNOW, WITH EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENING IN CHICAGO. ( laughs ) WELL, YOU'RE NOT A NURSE. OH, RIGHT. IS THERE A RIOT IN HARLEM? THERE WAS A THING IN BED-STUY. THERE'S A LOT OF POLICE. WELL, I KNOW THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT SAFER. MY BOYFRIEND'S IN CHICAGO. HE'S COVERING THE RIOTS. IS THAT RIGHT? WHY DON'T YOU STAY WITH ME TONIGHT? I'VE STAYED HERE BEFORE. I'LL BE FINE. GET YOUR THINGS. ( distant traffic blaring ) ARE YOU ASLEEP? OH, YOU'RE HOME. YOU'RE MUMBLING. HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE? I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU. YOU LEFT THE BACK DOOR UNLOCKED. - WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE? - I CAN'T. YOU HAVE TO. WE'RE ALONE. I JUST WANT IT FAST. NO. I KNOW SHE'S COMING HOME. I'LL BE GONE. I PROMISE. ANDREA. I CAN FEEL YOU AGAINST ME. REMEMBER THAT NIGHT AT LINCOLN CENTER WHEN YOU TOOK ME BACK TO THE LOADING DOCK? YOUR WIFE WAS WAITING INSIDE. SO IT'S JUST ME, MY BROTHER, WHO'S 19, AND MY MOTHER, WHO SAYS SHE'S 39. - LIKE JACK BENNY. - ( both laugh ) - IS YOUR BROTHER IN SCHOOL? - NO. HE DELIVERS FURNITURE AND ARGUES WITH MY MOTHER ABOUT JOINING THE ARMY. MM. YOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING IN THE TAXI ABOUT DON AND I CUT YOU OFF. NO, I WAS FINISHED. YOU CAN TALK TO ME. I WAS HIS SECRETARY, YOU KNOW? YOU WERE? - SO HOW DID YOU-- - I DIDN'T EVEN ASK FOR IT. SOMETIMES THEY DRAG THE SECRETARIES IN FOR FOCUS GROUPS TO TRY THINGS AND I WAS DISCOVERED... LIKE ESTHER BLODGETT. ( laughing ) OH, GOD, I'M REALLY DRUNK. Y'ALL DRINK A LOT. ( laughing ) SO WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO SAY? I WAS GOING TO SAY-- GO AHEAD. YOU CAN TALK. - I'M TRYING TO. - OH. ( laughing ) I'M SORRY. I WAS GOING TO SAY I HOPE YOU WON'T TELL MR. DRAPER ABOUT ME SLEEPING THERE. YOU TWO TALK SOMETIMES. NAH. WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER. I KNOW WE'RE NOT REALLY IN THE SAME SITUATION, BUT I WAS THE ONLY ONE LIKE ME THERE FOR A LONG TIME. I KNOW IT'S HARD. I APPRECIATE THAT. DO YOU WANT TO BE A COPYWRITER? NO. I LIKE MY JOB. YEP. YOU'RE RIGHT. COPYWRITER'S TOUGH, ESPECIALLY FOR A WOMAN. DO YOU THINK I ACT LIKE A MAN? I GUESS YOU HAVE TO A LITTLE. I TRY, BUT... I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE IT IN ME. I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO. ( gasps ) I'M SORRY. I CAN'T SLEEP. WELL, YOU CANNOT SNEAK UP ON SOMEONE MY AGE, ESPECIALLY IN THIS HOUSE. I'M SCARED. CAN I SIT WITH YOU? ONLY FOR A BIT. WHAT'S THAT FOR? WHY ARE YOU SCARED? I READ THE NEWSPAPER. OH, HONEY. DID YOU PULL IT OUT OF THE TRASH? WHY DID THAT MAN DO THAT? WELL, PROBABLY BECAUSE HE HATES HIS MOTHER. - I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED. - WHAT HAPPENED? THOSE GIRLS GOT READY FOR BED AND THERE WAS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR, AND A HANDSOME MAN WAS THERE. AND MAYBE ONE OF THEM KNEW HIM, BUT PROBABLY NOT BECAUSE HE WAS PROBABLY JUST WATCHING THEM FROM AFAR. ALL THOSE YOUNG, INNOCENT NURSES IN THEIR SHORT UNIFORMS STIRRING HIS DESIRE. FOR WHAT? WHAT DO YOU THINK? YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW. WHY DIDN'T THEY RUN AWAY? BECAUSE THEY WERE SCARED. THEY PROBABLY THOUGHT, "HE CAN'T *** NINE OF US." - WHY NOT? - YOU JUST CAN'T. THEY DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO BE WORSE THAN THAT. THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS IN STORE FOR THEM. NOW I'M REALLY SCARED. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, NOT WHILE I'VE GOT MY BURGLAR ALARM. HOW AM I GOING TO SLEEP? GET THE WATER. WHAT'S THAT? IT'S SECONAL. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO TAKE A PILL? - ( Kevin crying ) - YOU TWO STOP IT. DAMN IT, JOANIE! - STOP IT. - GAIL, OUT! TAKE HIM OUT OF HERE! - ( pounding ) - OPEN THIS DOOR OR I WILL KICK IT DOWN! WHO GOES BACK? I WILL THROW A PARADE FOR YOU EVERY DAY - TO THANK YOU FOR PRESERVING FREEDOM. - IT'S DONE. WELL, YOU CAN'T MAKE A DECISION LIKE THAT WITHOUT ME AND YOU HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT. IF THIS WAS WORLD WAR II AND THE *** WERE STILL ATTACKING US, YOU'D SAY, "YES, OF COURSE!" SOLDIERS WANTED TO COME HOME FROM WORLD WAR II ALSO! I'VE GOT MY ORDERS, YOU'VE GOT YOURS. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - TO MEET THE BOYS FOR A DRINK. HE JUST NEEDS TO BLOW OFF STEAM. DON'T GET INVOLVED, MOTHER. YOU'RE A MILITARY WIFE. YOU MAKE SACRIFICES. SOMEONE'S KEVIN IS OVER THERE AND HE'S GOING TO GET HURT AND GREG WON'T BE THERE. BUT OUR KEVIN IS RIGHT IN THERE AND HE DOESN'T CARE. IT'S A YEAR. YOU CAN DO IT. - I'LL HELP. - NO. GO LIE DOWN. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TIRED YOU ARE. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND THE COUCH. SINCE MY ROOMMATE MOVED TO THE OTHER ROOM, I JUST HAVE A PILE OF ABE'S CLOTHES. THIS IS PERFECT. WELL, GOOD NIGHT, THEN. I-- I'LL JUST-- I'LL THROW THESE OUT. THANKS. GOOD NIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. NO, YOU WON'T. DON'T ARGUE WITH ME. I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE. HOTEL NEXT TIME? NO NEXT TIME. THAT WAS A MISTAKE. A MISTAKE YOU LOVE MAKING. I'D BETTER NOT SEE YOU AGAIN. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO RUIN THIS. YOU LOVED IT. AND YOU'LL LOVE IT AGAIN BECAUSE YOU ARE A SICK, SICK-- ( gasping ) ( choking ) ( coughing ) ( TV playing ) - ( door closes ) - Betty: HELLO? WE'RE HOME. MA. - MA. - ( groans ) WHAT'S GOING ON? WHERE'S SALLY? SALLY? SALLY? ( door opens ) HOW ARE YOU FEELING? WHERE WERE YOU? I WAS RIGHT THERE. YOU'RE BURNING UP. NO, LAST NIGHT. I WAS WAITING FOR YOU. I CAME RIGHT HOME. YOU WERE A MESS. I WAS REALLY WORRIED. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME. OKAY. THERE ARE SOME SCRAMBLED EGGS IN THE BOWL AND I MADE FLAPJACKS. JUST COFFEE. - WHERE'S KEVIN? - YOU SLEPT A LONG TIME. HE WAS AWAKE AND WENT BACK TO BED ALREADY. I BARELY SLEPT AT ALL. I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT AND... I WANT YOU TO GO. I'LL PUT THIS AWAY. I'M GLAD YOU CAME AROUND. IT'S ONLY A YEAR. NO. I WANT YOU TO GO AND NEVER COME BACK. DAMN IT, JOANIE. THEY NEED ME. WELL, THEN, IT WORKS OUT, BECAUSE WE DON'T. I'M VERY IMPORTANT THERE. I HAVE 20 DOCS AND MEDICS WHO RELY ON ME. THEY LOOK TO ME FOR MY SKILL AND LEADERSHIP. I'M GLAD THE ARMY MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A MAN, BECAUSE I'M SICK OF TRYING TO DO IT. THE ARMY MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A GOOD MAN. YOU'RE NOT A GOOD MAN. YOU NEVER WERE, EVEN BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED, AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. IF I WALK OUT THAT DOOR, THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. IT'S OVER. ( distant siren wailing ) ( sighs ) ( music playing ) ♪ HE HIT ME ♪ ♪ AND IT FELT LIKE A KISS ♪ ♪ HE HIT ME ♪ ♪ BUT IT DIDN'T HURT ME ♪ ♪ HE COULDN'T STAND TO HEAR ME SAY ♪ ♪ THAT I'D BEEN WITH SOMEONE NEW ♪ ♪ AND WHEN I TOLD HIM ♪ ♪ I HAD BEEN UNTRUE ♪ ♪ HE HIT ME ♪ ♪ AND IT FELT LIKE A KISS ♪ ♪ It felt like a kiss ♪ ♪ HE HIT ME ♪ ♪ AND I WAS HIS. ♪