Tooth Fairy - English Transcript

Battle One on the boards with both teams really digging for the puck. Now, it squats loose and the ice wolves have it and the puck is cleared out of the zone. Give it up! What a hit! Come on boys! Use the body! Take him away! Take him away! - Rafton's going up the ice! - Take him to the offside! He shoots... nice save by Grant. What a hit...What action! The Ice Wolves are just getting hammered. There is the familiar chant, Jim. and the coach is going for the big defenseman, Derek Thompson and here comes the Tooth Fairy. Go in the dark jersey and hit it. - That is an incisor. - I got the tooth. Oh, I got the tooth, baby! And the tooth fairy, Derek Thompson has struck again. You can't handle the tooth and that's the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth. I pledge allegiance to the tooth. Open the door for the Tooth Fairy. Who's the Tooth Fairy? Am I the Tooth...I'm the Tooth Fairy! Stop it. Stop it. - What's going on out here? - Hey Thompson, come here. - I want you to meet the future of our franchise. - Ah... new kid. He's probably not gonna be here for longer than a cup of coffee till he gets snapped up by the Kings. But listen, while he is here. Your job on the ice is to take care of him. - Okay. - Nothing else matters, alright. Alright. - Mick. - Yeah. Derek Thompson, Mick Donnelly here first line striker. Mick Donnelly, Derek Thompson, he's your bodyguard. - What's up, man? - Welcome to pro hockey, kid! Yeah, is there an old-timers' game today? I didn't realize you're even still playing, man. I used to be a big fan. Alright... See you later, man. Mr. Thompson! Sign the autograph for me. Yeah, sure. Absolutely! What's your name, buddy? Gabe, I'm the third leading scorer in my hockey league. - And my team might with the Championship. - Wow, that's fantastic. Good for you, Gabe. One day, I'm gonna play hockey in the big leagues just like you used to. - You work pretty hard at hockey, do you? - Uh huh, I play almost everyday. - And I drive him almost everyday. - Ah...uh huh. - How old are you? - I'm eight. You're eight, you're eight, okay. Well, here's the deal, Gabe. So, you're eight and you're the third leading scorer in your league behind two other eight year-olds. - Well, one's nine. - Uh hmm. Okay, well. See, Gabe, somewhere in this country there's a seven year-old playing against twelve year-olds and he's outscoring them. I mean, he's killing them. Making them wanna get run over by a Zambonian guy. And there are a bunch like that kid in every rink. And when the time's right, those kids will battle it out and only a handful of them will get signed. Now let's say, you do make the NHL... You won't...Now let's say you do. Let's say you hit the show right out of college but the show hit you right back. And before you could stay slap shot, you're pushed down to the minors with a blown out shoulder and nowhere to go. Listen, lower your expectations. That's how you're gonna be happy. There you go, Gabe. I want to suck your blood... What, what are you looking at and laughing at? - Why aren't you afraid? - Because those are French fries. No, I can't eat French fries. French fries are fatal to vampires. - Hey, I have an idea. - Can't talk, still dead. Mommy, my tooth came out! - Hey, yehey! Oh, congrats. - The tooth fairy's gonna visit me tonight. You bet, let's see. Oh, you are such a big girl. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm a tooth fairy. - Thought you said you're a vampire. You got some inconsistent mythology. I have a lot of homework. Can I be excused? Yeah. Mommy, it's time for you to go now and Derek can start babysitting. Not just yet. You wanna go and put your jammies on? I wonder if it would help if Randy and you had some one-on-one time. Ah..sure. I could do that. As long as I don't have to be alone with him. Calvin is here. Oh, little ketchup. - Oh, Tooth Fairy. - You know what, I got it. - Look, I put on my pajamas. - Dracula's back from the dead. Hey, what do you guys think of Donnelly? - Oh man, that kid is fast. - Even to Nitz Gresky. I love him already. Like a long lost brother. Can we just play? Next to you. Alright, I'm a little short. But this autograph that says the "Tooth Fairy." It's worth ten bucks on EBay. Ten of these is a hundred bucks, so I'm in. No, no, no, no. You have to pay. Hey, it's me. I'm a good boy. - I'll be right back. - He took his cards. Hey Derek, don't the kids have like a piggy bank or something? - I'm home. Hey, guys. - Hello, gorgeous. You know what... I'm a little tired. I'm not gonna hang out but I walk you guys out. Mommy, mommy! Mommy, mommy! Mommy! - What is it, honey? - My tooth is gone. - Well, that's cause the Tooth Fairy took it. - But there's no money. - I looked. - Let's look together. I'm sure it's here somewhere. - The vampire has returned! - Not a vampire moment. - It's not anywhere. - Well, I bet that they took it to where... ...on the Toothometer to see what it's worth before they bring you the money. Right, Derek? Sure, that's how the whole tooth thing works. No, that's not how it works. You put the tooth under your pillow, the tooth fairy flies into your room when you're sleeping, takes the tooth and leaves a dollar. - Where is it? - Okay... You tell me when to stop when the Tooth Fairy has been here coz I have five 10's... Derek. (Stop) Okay. Tess, you're a big girl now. You're six. So let's just get this out of the way. - There's is no such thing as a Tooth... - Bingo, here it is. How did it get down there? Oh, you must have rolled over in your sleep and it fell on the floor. I forgot. People forget. So then, your big idea to handle it was to tell Tess there is no tooth fairy. Carly, come on. The way I see it, is the reason why there are so many unhappy people in the world because all are clinged to some version of what if... Okay, so dreams are bad. Well, they lead to unrealistic expectations then yes. - This is ridiculous. - I know. - I'm going to bed. - Carly. You...are leaving. Don't get all dramatic. I'm her mother. I get the say on her childhood fantasies, not you. Disbelief...Fairy...Summons... What? Thompson, Derek Thompson. Yes, yes, God, it's me. Is that you God? - You're Thompson? - You're God? I'm Tracy, I'm your case worker. What is this? - How disappointing. - Come with me, please. No, thank you, thank you. Fairy questionnaires. What are you wearing? I don't know what I'm wearing. What are you wearing? - Who is this guy? - Dream Killer. I don't like your assault. What did I do? Why am I here? Where am I? No one likes your kind, right here. No one likes your attitude, the way you always show up here acting all strange, "Oh, why am I here?, What are these giant wings man?" Do we have a problem? Yeah, we have a problem. Do we have a problem, he said. We have a problem. Yeah, we have a problem because you just said do we have a problem which gives us a problem. - That's right. - Tracy, right? Ah, what a pretty girl's name you have. Don't laugh at him. That's not funny. That's strike two and you don't wanna get to strike three. - What happens after strike three? - Strike four. We'll get your uniform sort out in a minute and then we can get you registered and begin your training. - Training for what? - Oooh, training for what? You, Mr. Thompson, are gonna spend some time as a Tooth Fairy. Calm down, everyone. Just let him to be harmless. - Everyone alright? - Oh really, is that what, your fairy patrol? I'm 230 pounds, gonna take a lot more than just eight fairies to get me. Fairy, hands off! Is this fairy etiquette? Where were we? Help please! Wake me up! I'm in a nightmare, please! Please, help me! The nightmare is just beginning. You want a shot at the title. Is that it? You're feeling lucky? Maybe I am. Hold this, baby. I can see nothing, give it back. You want a piece of this? I'm ready to go. - You just made a big mistake. - He's got a magic wand. What's next? You gonna pull a rabbit out of the hat. Fairy fight! Oh, now I got one too. Let me introduce you to the Hammer Brothers. Sladge and Jack, who do you want? Who do you wanna meet? Oh dear, looks like you pick on the wrong fairy. Oh, magic wand. Oh my gosh, the magic wand. What is going on here? Stop it! You're behaving like leprechauns. He's got such a major attitude problem. Oh, I'm well aware of his attitude. Believe me. - Hello, Mr. Thompson. - Hi. Sorry about the follow up with your outfit. Budget problems. Tracy will take care of it. Who him? Yeah, sure. You, sir, are guilty of disseminating disbelief, killing dreams, committing first degree *** of fantasy which by Fairy Law.... Wait a minute. Is this because of what happened with Tess... Excuse me. I haven't finished speaking. Did I look as though I had finished speaking? I don't know. Everybody's got a British accent around. You've just interrupted me again while I was admonishing you for interrupting me. Do I not look official enough? I don't understand why policemen or firemen don't get interrupted. But you had a pair of wings and suddenly all manners go out the window. Shouldn't you be more in awe of somebody with wings than without? You have no idea what I'm capable of. I could just fly up into the air and do something crazy. Maybe I breath fire. You don't know. I'm sorry for interrupting you. I didn't mean it. That is better. In order to pay your debt to humanity, you are hereby ordered to serve time as a tooth fairy. Normal sentence is one week but because you have the nerve, the unmitigated gall, to actually call yourself the "Tooth Fairy" thus make a mockery of everything we stand for. I'm sentencing you to two weeks Tooth Fairy duty. - Ah, no, no, no. No, it's unfair. - Interrupting. Interrupting again. Unbelievable. Take him away and see that he's properly outfitted and get him into flying school. - I'm sorry, what? - Oh but first, you get to meet Jerry. Excuse me, Fairy Godmother. I have one last question. Does this tutu make my butt a little big? Yes...huge. - Egg on the face. - No, don't, no. Oh good, you got the male version. Get to a little spin so I can see. How about I give you a little spin of my fist around your nose? Okay, what does that mean? - It's a threat. That's what it means. - You just said, you're gonna do that. - No, I'll punch you right in the nose. - Just say that, it's much clearer. - What's that? Oooh... - It's just pathetic. It's like a child. Chicken is fine. I don't hate you, chicken. I like you, chicken. I hate your brisket. Yeah, I'm coming. Goodbye. Never marry a leprechaun. Oh, the dream popper. Hey, did it make you feel good to lie on that kid? I didn't lie to a kid. You told her there was no tooth fairy, right? - Right. - Liar. Look, I'm sorry. I... Sorry is a beginning. Now, if you're gonna be a fairy you gotta be ready although... Dude, there is a pill. I mean, amazing pill. If you take this pill, you don't have to do any of these. - Really? - No, I was just kidding. See, you're mad at me. You believe and then I took it away. Be mad at me. I don't care. I have tenure. Come on, walk with Jerry. Okay, here's your tool pouch. Waterproof, lot of compartments. - You can get a lot of stuff in there. You dig? - Yeah. Okay. This... This is your wand. Tooth detector, radar jamming, keeps picking up radio caliente. - I don't know what that's about. - Okay, what's that? Magic generator button. Does what you ever wanted to do but you have to believe otherwise it won't work. So it's pretty much useless to humans. Ah this, you don't ever wanna lose this. - What is it? - Well, it looks like an IPod adapter. - Right, so what is it? - It's an IPod adapter. - What's it for? - Listening to your IPod. You get it for your IPod. Did you not ask for your free IPod? - No, really? - I'm just kidding. You know, why do you keep doing that? I'm not well. I actually just have a few months to live. Oh, you're kidding. Of course, I'm kidding. Why would I share that with you? I just met you plus you lied to the kids. Come on, we got business to do. Invisibility spray. You use it, nobody can see you except for other fairies. And this, Dude, trust me. Shrinking paste. You put a little on your tongue, you shrink down to about six inches tall. You wanna do it? Come on, let's do it together. Come on, let's do it. Come on, we'll jump into each other's hands. Well, I don't wanna jump in your hands, Jerry. Really, come on, let's get small. Sometimes when I'm home with the wife, right. I'll take a double hit, I'll get down to about that big and let my feet dangle in the inkwell. Then, when she's out. I walk all over her body. So when she wakes up, there's these little footprints all over and she goes... and I go, "Hey, I don't know." See when you're married a long time, you'll do stuff like this. Alright, let's see. What else? Oh, would you like a mint. I made them myself. Here. Have a mint. Taste it. Come on. Really good. Go ahead. Come on. Taste it. Help yourself. These are good. Well, these are good. - Dog bark mints. Comes in very handy. - For what? Cats, mailmen, dogs that comes up behind you forget my drift or another kid that you lied to comes after you. How many times I gotta to say I'm sorry about that? Six times. I'm sorry, I was just kidding. I can't believe you did this. Did you play for years without a helmet or something? What is with you? It's like your brain is in the penalty box. I'm telling you... and you got like the eyes of a shark but like deader. Alright, listen. Cat away. Very important. If you're not a cat person, this thing will come in very handy. I almost have a senior fairy moment. Don't you move. This is my greatest invention ever. Amnesia dust. You throw a pinch, the kid forgets everything that happened for the last few seconds. - Yeah, right. Come on. - That's how it works. That's how what works? Amnesia dust. You throw a pinch, the kid forgets everything that happened for the last few seconds. - That's how it works. - That's how what works? Amnesia dust, you throw a pinch the kids forgets everything that happened for the last few seconds. - That's how it works. - That's how what works? Never gets old. You wanna fly, you gotta believe. But you gotta learn to use your wings. Use my wings. You know how ridiculous you sound right now. Oh, who's your hobbit friend over here? Wait, you stay here, okay. You have to learn from the best. And some dang fool accused this guy of being the best. Well me and flying is just not gonna happen, okay. I've got an old hockey injury so I probably got a bad wing. That's one I've never heard before. - How's it going, Duke? - What's up, man? - Want me to turn a He-Man into Peter Pan. - Oh, don't get me started, homey. Oh, what is that? Your little secret fairy jiving now. Maybe you didn't hear me, I said I got a bad wing, I can't fly! - Is this okay? - Yeah. - I'm tracking this baby up. - Put me down. - I think you're ready to practice FOA. - FOA? What's FOA? Flying Object Avoidance. I'll throw something at you, you get out of the way, okay. Oh, you better not throw anything at me. - You wanna get on him, Tracy? - Put me down! Imagine they're your responsibilities. You're avoiding them. - Bring it on. - We will do! Raise your right hand, repeat after me: I, fill in your name I, Derek Thompson... Swear to uphold and perform... Swear to uphold and perform... The duties, responsibilities and obligations... The duties, responsibilities and obligations... of a Tooth Fairy. of a Tooth Fairy. of a Tooth Fairy. And that I will not drink and fly. Drink and fly? Okay, now, it's serious. That's serious. That I will not drink and fly. Welcome aboard. These coupons are all redeemable at the gift shop. Oh, maybe I can have a fairy bumper sticker. Alright, I can see. That it's real. Fairies do exist. It's too late. Your sentence begins tomorrow. No, no, no...There's gotta be a way to postpone this like jury duty. I'm sure up here you have fairy duty or whatever it is you have up here. I got the coaches breathing down my neck and I've got to patch things up with my girlfriend. The interrupting thing. I'm sorry. Any assignment you miss, you get another week. And if you fail your terms of service or tell anyone you're a tooth fairy, your time will be extended indefinitely. - Oh really? I'm not leaving. - Goodbye, Mr. Thompson. No. I'm sorry. For what? - What I said last night? - Which part? All of the parts that deeply offended you. Okay, everything I've ever said. Or thought. Even before I met you. - Wanna come in? - Oh yeah. You can spend that one on one time with Randy. Yeah. You know what, let me go to my car and get something and I'll be right back. Me and Randy. Alright, yeah. - I don't know you could shred like that. - What do you want? Well, I bought you a present. Can you guess what it is? Is it a puppy? Why it's a guy and a puppy? It's one of my hockey sticks. And now after I signed your pal... The "Tooth Fairy" Now, it's worth lot of money. There you go. Okay, I'm just gonna leave it right here. I bet you get a lot of chicks with that guitar, don't you? Can we stop this now? - Stop what? - You're just like my mom's last boyfriends. Just pretending to be nice to me to impress her. You're wrong. I'm much better looking than your mom's past boyfriends. Big boy pound for trying to break the ice. - No, it's going away. - Look, I have to get back to practice. Okay, how about you come over to my place. I could break out my old drum kit, you can bring your guitar and we could have a jam session together. Or how about I just go and tell my mom you're actually pretty cool. - and you stop trying to bond with me. - I'll take that deal. You'll never believe what Randy said about you after you left. He said that you're actually pretty cool. - Well, I am pretty cool. - We'll see. But whatever you're doing is working so why don't you keep it up. - Hmmm, who's T? - I have no idea. I don't know. What I do know is I would love for you to close your eyes coz I have an amazing surprise. - Really. Okay. - Yeah. Alright. - Close your eyes. - Okay. I'll be right back. Is my surprise 6 foot 3 with dark brown eyes. - Oh, you'll find out shortly. - I love surprises! Get ready! - I know you're right in front of me. - You should keep your eyes closed. Okay. - Everything's okay. Don't peek. - Okay. - I need some air. - What? - I'm not feeling well. - Oh, should I come over. - No, no. Give me some toilet paper. - Of course, where is it? It's upstairs in the bathroom. It's way upstairs. Oh my gosh! - Hello. - Hello. - Who's this? - It's me. It's Tracy. - Tracy who? - Tracy, your case worker. Listen, your first assignment is just falling asleep so get yourself over quick. - To 663 Shelter Cove. - I thought that was a dream. - Well, think again. - Derek. - Oh no, no. - Where are you? Bushes. Please don't come any closer you can't see me like this. It will ruin your romantic image of me. Oh, honey. You are so sick. I checked the entire bathroom I couldn't find anything. You gotta look underneath the sink. Underneath the sink. Way back deep underneath the sink. Okay. You heard the rules. You can't miss an assignment. Plus those wings will stay on your back until you get that tooth. - Oh, man. - You could clean up a little. My wing. - Delicately done. Well done. - I can't believe this is happening. Well, it is happening so can you get in the house please and fetch the tooth. No, no, no...I'm not going anywhere. Why don't you go in? - Oh, because it's not my job. - That doesn't make any sense. You're a fairy so why don't you just go in and get the tooth? Because I'm not a winged fairy, alright. I'm a case worker fairy which actually bears a lot more responsibility. You know, those little filing and putting stuff along. It's tricky. Ah, so what you're saying is you're not good enough. I'm not saying that. - And they stuck you behind the desk. - Now, I tell you what... They did, alright, there's a lot of wing discrimination in the workplace. Very funny. Okay, tell me how are you gonna enter the house and get the tooth? - Maybe I'll wing it. - Brilliant. How are you gonna get in the house? - On a wing and a prayer. - This is very very funny stuff. But how are you gonna get the tooth? Which wing of the house should I start with first? Do you want another week? No, no, no. I don't want another minute of this. So what do you suggest, Einstein? I can't fly so do what? How about you shrink yourself down and slide under the front door? Of course, just shrink and slide in. Yeah, that's what anybody would do in this situation. - Is this gonna hurt? - Let's hope so. - Come on. - And how do I get big again? Oh, it's automatic. From the moment you shrink you start to gradually regrow. It only takes about an hour. Come on. - I can't believe this. - Eat it. Shut up. Do you like it? Yum, yum, Derek Thompson. Nice. Oh, not so brave now, little wee man. No, no, no, no, no... Wing jokes aren't so funny now, are they? The shoes on the other foot. - Okay, okay - Now, you should shoe me some respect. I'll shoe you some respect when I get bigger, I'm gonna get up there put that shoes on your face. - You shouldn't upset me. - Is that the best you got? - Just take the money. - Hey, watch it. Don't throw money. Money's heavy. Money is heavy. I hate this. I can't believe... Oh my wing, my wing. I'm the tooth fairy. I'm the tooth fairy. - Honey, what's the matter? - I saw something. - What did you see? - It was a little tiny man. Nice kitty. Don't hurt me, kitty. I'm a tooth fairy. Disappear. Kitty be gone. - Derek. - Carly. - Come cuddle with me. - No. - What? - Going to bed. Still not well. I'll call you when I'm bigger I mean better. Hello hockey fans. I'm Steve Libby coming to you from Wolf Den here in Lansing, Michigan. Home of the Lansing Ice Wolves. We're about to see the potentially historic debut of an 18-year old phenom Mick Donnelly who is just about set to take the ice for the first time. - So kid, you pumped up for your first game? - Yeah, pops. I'm super pumped. It just means one last game till I'm out of here and into the bigs. You know what, I'm done being generous. This is my kingdom, you're in my kingdom now. I'm the king. You're not even a prince. You know what you are, you're like one of those little guys in tights running around the court in a peepy wig. Looks like you've been dethroned. This is it. Final minute, regulation time. The Ice Wolves lead the Roughnecks 2-1. And the kid Donnelly has more than lived up to the height. He's still working on that hattrick. Off the face off, the puck comes back to the Roughnecks. There's a quick shot. Nice save. The puck goes into the corner and Donnelly picks it up. Oh, now he puts on the brake and spins out of trouble. Whoa, look at him flying, Jim. He beats another defender. And here he comes. Donnelly is pressing up the ice. What a move! He's going to the Roughnecks like they're a bunch of blinded mules. Donnelly surfing around the Roughneck goal. He looks upfront to pass. Now, he kicks off the board. Now, Donnelly cruise himself off the board and takes a pass from center. He looks to shoot. No, not now. What a move! Crashing open ice hit to Donnelly and he's down. Like Thompson was gonna clear Lamberg out of the zone and suddenly, instead he just dropped to the ice, no one even touched him. Hey, Thompson, you cost me a hattrick and an interview on ESPN. Hey, get over here. I wanna talk to you. What are you doing? Let's get out of here. No, no, not...I'm very busy right now. No autographs, I'm busy. Fine, I'll wait. What are you guys talking about? - What's he wearing? - Check out his feet. Disappear. No, no, no. Either you come out or we're coming in. - One... - Stop it. Two... Three! What happened? Why are you late? Where have you been? - Don't talk to me. - Why are you wet? - Shut up and I hate this job. - What's that smell? That's intense. I can't breathe. That's too much. - Hello. - Hi. - What the... - Mom, I'm home. Where's the kid? - Be nice, be respectful and nice. - I just came out of a toilet. You think I care? Ah, Mama Fairy, there is your tooth. So you do it with it, whatever it is you do here in Fairy World with your teeth. Mr. Thompson, according to your case worker, you're exactly embracing the Tooth Fairy spirit. Really, is that what my case worker said? So you called her and told her that. Well, let me tell you something. My case worker here has wing envy. - Not true. - It is true! I am a giant fan of the job I do. And all the administrating... - You hate this job. - I love it. I look forward to it. No you don't. You hate this. Will you two stop it? Just look at what you have done to this family. - Who are you? - Who are you? I don't know. Am I home yet? It's not funny. Did you see the dog? His eyes were like that. You overdid it. Fairy Godmother, who is your supervisor? Who is above you? Gandhi? Who do I talk to? Because I wanna file a complaint right now. - You have another assignment. - Another tooth. Are you kidding me? Sometimes, there's a double-header. Come on, just tell me where the tooth is so I could get it and just go home. Oh no, not until the child falls asleep. Till then, I'm afraid you have to wait. One kid's falling asleep in the afternoon, another kid's up all night. - Cup of tea. - Good tea? Refreshing. Hi-ya, you feeling any better? Yeah, a little bit. How about you guys come on up? - Hi Derek! - Hi gorgeous! Actually I have a really big favor to ask. Tess and I just got a last minute invitation to... - To beauty makeover party! - Nice. A beauty makeover party and I was wondering because you're not getting along so well now if Randy could hang out with you for a little while. (Please) Yeah, yes, of course. Super. Great. Thank you. I'll make it up to you. - Be good. Have fun. - Bye. Awesome. I can see hockey's been really good to you. You wanna hang with me or do you wanna go get a beauty makeover. - Pretty cool stuff in here, huh. - Yeah. Whatever. Why don't you take one down? See how it sounds. I don't wanna. Here. Give it a shot. - Please don't, no. - No, give it a shot. Let's see how it sounds. Go ahead. That sounds great. I'm gonna go check out the drums and the sticks and in the meantime you just keep practicing coz all that is just awesome. - Hi, Randy. - Hey, what's up? - You sound pretty good. - Thanks. - Are you gonna play in the Talent Show? - Kelly, there you are. - Why are you talking to Emo boy? - Don't be a jerk, Ben. - Your dad's waiting. We have to go. - Bye, Randy. Bye. Don't even think about talking to her. You got it, loser? Okay. You should put this away coz you stink. - What are you doing with Randy's guitar? - I don't know. - You should give it back to him. - Okay. Now you could get out of here. Beat it. - Oh, you are in trouble now. - We'll see. Oh, I know, we'll see. Can you beat two pair? Call me and find it out. Oh, big boy put $10 on this big boy totals. Look at that, me too, I'm not scared coz it's aces over kings. - Flush. - No. - Yes. - Nice. Can I ask you something? It's about your body and how it's changing, isn't it? What? You know, everything that's happening to you and your body now is completely natural. Stop talking! Stop talking! Eeew! No! Stop talking! - Okay, okay. Well, you... - That wasn't what I was gonna ask you at all. - Okay, okay. Alright. - That wasn't even close. Big boy pound for not wanting to talk about puberty. Thank goodness. Believe me. I don't want to talk about it either. Alright, so what's up seriously? Alright, well. There's this Talent Show coming up at my school and... Okay. My mom thinks I should play in it and I'm kind of...I don't know. - Well, maybe you should play in it. - Yeah? Yeah, yeah. You'll be great. I heard you play. You're really good, man. And the chicks they love guitar players. - We're back! - Hey, baby. We're up here. Don't tell your mom I said that about girls. - Hi boys! - Hi! - How did it go? - Well, I lose some chips. - Does not! - He absolutely does and you look... - Gorgeous! - You took the words right out of my mouth. You guys hungry? How about we go get some supper? Love to. Where did you go, then? Oh no. You guys got to go. Is someone hurt? No, not hurt the way that you have to be worried. And both of you look beautiful and I will call you later. I'm so sorry. - Okay. - Bye. - Shrinking paste. - Nope. Not that again. - Amnesia dust. - No. - Flying. - Bad wing. Forget it. Hey, and by the way, your all-purpose magic generator button, it doesn't work. It's broken. - Here's an idea, brain box. Why don't you... - Don't touch my pouch. It's my pouch. - That was too much. - What do you want? I'm just saying, you got the magical invisibility spray. Okay, that's relatively the approved. Yeah, I know that. Ignore my last comment. Hey, what a surprise. It doesn't work. Your stuff stinks. - Nice. - Till it wears off. - Did you hear that? - Yes. Go. Are you lost? Can we help you? How would you like a little amnesia dust? - Where am I? - Just go to the white light, my friend. Nice doggie. No, not me, doggie. What is this? - It's a long and delightful story. - Where's the tooth? Can I get a little help here? That would be all. You might just be the worst tooth fairy ever. - Oh, by the way, I need some more stuff. - Stuff? Stuff. The magic powder, the gank, the stuff. I need some, notify Q. No, no more stuff. Well, that's brilliant. I have a week and a half left on my job. How am I suppose to do that? I'm sorry, we're running very low on funding. And would you like to know why? - No, not really. - Because children aren't believing as they used to. It's not just us. It's unicorns, leprechauns, dragons, all those departments. Completely gone. If this trend continues, Tooth Fairly Land would cease to exist. No child will ever again receive a visit from a Tooth Fairy. Ever. No more visit from the Tooth Fairy. So what? You really don't get it, do you? You don't see the children fantasies, their abilities to imagine are important. Why? It nourishes their very souls. It's the foundation that allows them to dream. Dreams are bad. They're bad. They're useless. - You're done. - For the week? No, for the night. Unless, you wish to stay for Fairy-oke. Oh my....No. I got what you need. - What's that? - Goods, stuff, package, bag, bomb, the juice. The Bing, the ***, Frisco special, pink lady, little drummer boy. Who are you? Ziggy. But you can call me whatever you want. You can call me Zigman, Zigmaister. - Please stop talking. - You know, they want you to fail. - What? - Think about it. You fail. They talk on more time. It's like credit card debt, man. They just wanna keep you paying forever. - Yeah? - You really wanna play that game. - So... - A thousand bucks. - A thousand bucks. You're killing me, Ziggy. - How bad do you want this to end? Can I write you a check? Oh, my goodness! You can see me? Oh, man. This better work. Oh no, what is that? What are you doing? What did Ziggy give me? - Just stay calm. - 911. 911. - Fine, I just need the tooth. - There's an alien on my porch. You are amazing. Lily is so tagged off because she has to send another fairy to clean up your mess. I'd learned my lesson. Never buy black market stuff. I can't go through another two weeks without it. Yes, you can, friend. You just have to surrender to a higher power and take it one day at a time. Hello. Case workers decide who can see us and who can't. Which is something you'd know if you ever paid me any attention, ever listened to everything I say. But no. You always... Shut up! Hey, my friend, you really need to get yourself cleaned up. If you want I can give you a pamphlet. Oh and FYI, your sentence is being extended. Lily just tagged on another week so well done. - Great. Just what I need. - I think it is what you need, friend. Listen, I can give you fresh supplies right now on one condition. From now on, you follow the rules. You embrace the fairy spirit and you start listening to old muggins here. Fine. I'll be the best Tooth Fairy ever. You keep running out on me to see I don't even know who and then you never call and when I do finally hear from you it's to bail you out of jail. What's going on with you? I wanna tell you but I can't. Why not? I just can't. I know what this is. This is you acting up because you are afraid of making a commitment. You're nervous by us getting serious, aren't you? Yes, that's it. You know me so well. I'm nervous about how serious we're getting. What? You're a woman and frankly you wouldn't understand. What? No. No, I'm not nervous about us getting serious. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't even think about getting serious with you. What? I'm afraid and Carly I love you so much. I'm scared of messing up and I'm scared of losing you. I understand. So glad you could share that with me. Where can I get some of that? What are you doing? Are you oiling up your abs again? - I'm coming. - Hurry up! Hey, I've been stepped on, flushed, bitten and arrested. Will you stop complaining? You promised to embrace the fairy spirit. Oh, I'm embracing the fairy spirit, alright. But I'm doing it... My way. - I'm not sure that's in the rules. - Oh yeah. I'm just here for the tooth, sir. Just the tooth. I'm gonna take my glove away. That's it. Now, just hand over the tooth. Nice and easy. Let it go. Let it go. I said let it go. Very good. You have a good night, sir. - Who are you? - I'm the Tooth Fairy. Oh yeah. You got it? Alright, let's go. Alright, Mick, how's life is Lansing so far for you? It's been good. You know, I'm the new blood of the team and... you know, some of these wolves are getting a little bit longer than tooth if you know what I mean. When you say longer than tooth that would seem to be a veiled reference to Derek Thompson "The Tooth Fairy" It's not a rivalry, you know. I respect my elders. Is Thompson taking you under his wing? No, man. His wings are tattered. My wings are brand new. I'm ready to fly and you know, I like to do my own thing. Alright, a confident young hockey player. Good luck this afternoon. Thank you very much. Now, the Ice Wolves dumped the puck in the New Haven zone and we can make a line change. Mick, get ready! - Finally. - Hey, good luck out there, buddy. Okay. No, I mean it. I think you're gonna do great coz you're the bestest hockey player ever. Whatever. Mick, change, change! Hit them. Hit them. - Yeah. - Come on, sport. Donnelly jumps into the play and takes a cross slice pass. The Ice Wolves trying to cross the boom line. They're scrambled in front of the net now. These two rivals starting to get a little feisty with each other. Oh yeah. Alright, here we go! Here we go! Here we go! Puck goes in the corner but Mottley chases it down. - What's up with Donnelly, Jim? - Donnelly, get in there. The puck squirts loose around the board. Now Donnelly picks it up and speeds to the point looking to set up a play. Beat them, beat them, beat them! Hi! He takes a hell of a fall! What happened there, Jim? - Who hit him? - Did someone hit him, Jim? What is going on? - What's he doing? - Stop it. Is he laughing? Donnelly, are you okay, kid? What? - Are you trying to test me, kid? - Get off the ice! If you don't wanna play games you can head over to Health Care Center. Get out of here, right now. Move it. So, what did I miss? Why do you bark? I'm not gonna be ready. I might get up there and blow it. No, you'll be fine. We just got to keep practicing, come on. Everyone's gonna laugh at me. Maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe they will or maybe you'll blow the roof off the place, huh. Man, you're good but you'll not gonna find out if you quit. You can't score if you don't take the shot. Yeah, when was the last time you took a shot? Listen, when I first started I was a scorer. First round draft pick of the Devils. Playing in the bigs. So what happened? I busted my shoulder one night in Chicago. They sent me down to the minors to recover and it took forever. I got so angry and frustrated, one night in a game I got into some meat head from New Haven. I knocked out a couple of his teeth, the crowd went crazy and they started calling me "The Tooth Fairy" And it's stuck. And I haven't scored in years. But I got more penalty minutes than anyone else in the league. Like isn't your shoulder all healed now? Yeah, it's just not the same. But how do you know? You don't even try. You can't score if you don't take the shot. I tell you what... I will if you will. Okay. I'll take that deal. I have another tooth. That must be good. That moment. When you hand over the tooth. No, I'm not interested. Just wondering, you know. How it felt? Why don't you find out yourself? We've been through this, I'm not a winged fairy. Okay, okay, explain to me one more time. Why can't you have wings? Sorry, do you know nothing about fairy evolution? Fairy evolution. Who wrote that? Charles Darwing? Inspired, really. According to fairy evolution some fairies can grow wings and some can't. And you know, I'm one of the unlucky ones. Tracy, you don't have to have wings to be a tooth fairy. - Remember you got all of these. - That is true. Somehow, you gotta show them your strengths, speed, agility, flexibility. And how am I gonna do that? Around the cones! Around the cones! Around the cones! Quick feet! Quick feet! No, come back! Come back! - Where are you doing? - Look at this... It's three feet high. You're eight feet tall. Come back. - Oh, dinosaur! - No, it's not! What the heck! Come on. Rollercoaster. - Come on. - I'm okay, I'm okay. - Are you okay? - No. Bathroom robe is my worst nightmare. - I got it. I got it. - I'm bad. You look like a beautiful reindeer with your legs. You can plant seeds. You're planting. Not on the kid. On yourself. Amnesia dust. Amnesia dust. You sound great. You're gonna kill them tomorrow night. So, what do you think? Nice. That is big time. Randy Harris. Talent Show. I like that slot too. You really think I can be a famous rock star? Like Clapton or Hendrix or Steve Ray Vaughn. - You wanna straight. - Yeah. Okay. You're getting pretty good, right. So let's say you keep working at it really hard. Then, let's say you become the best 13-year old guitarist in your neighborhood. Here's the deal: You gotta remember that are a lot of neighborhoods out there with a lot of 13-year old guitarist but somewhere out there, there's a 12-year old who's shredding, I mean he's killing that guitar. You know what. Yeah, it's possible. Cool. Go get them. Late in the 3rd period, the Ice Wolves are down 4-3 to the Arrows Donnelly's getting a breather but having another great game. The Arrows leading scorer Pragwood takes the pass and he is on the move. Mick, your line's up. Hey old man, got a fresh pair of defense on? Ah, you'll never know, kid. This might surprise you. The Ice Wolves dumped the puck into the Arrows zone and change lines on a fly. That's suppose to put Donnelly back in the game. Out there, he's got the puck in roll so they're crossing the blue line. Change! Change! And here's comes Thompson on the bed replacing Josh. Thompson knocks Crossling flat on his back and kicks the puck to neutral zone where Browning picks it up. Thompson jumps back into play and Donnelly weeds around Crossling. Now, Thompson takes the pass right on his stick as Donnelly flies in the play. It's a 2 on 1 with Thompson of all people leading the way. Pass it! You can see Donnelly screaming for the puck but Thompson won't give it up. Thompson looks to pass. No, he beats the pass. He's got the top shelf wide open. - Pass it! - Pass! No. What is he thinking? The Arrows have numbers they're coming up the ice. They shoot. They score. Jim, it looked like Thompson was actually gonna shoot and he just choked. You're not a hockey player, you're a sideshow attraction! You know what, why don't you watch tomorrow's game from the bench, you bum. Great! - Hey honey, how was your game? - Not good. - Derek, guess what? I have another loose tooth. Good for you, honey. - What's the matter, hon? - Everything. Nothing, you know. Forget it. Can we go practice now? You know what, can we skip today's session. I just don't have it in me. - But the Talent Show's tomorrow night. - You'll be fine. - I need at least one more run through it. - No, you don't, okay. No, I do need it. I just need a little more practice. Just so I can get down. It doesn't matter what you do in the Talent Show. You're never gonna be a famous rock star. You're just gonna be another kid with a guitar. So do yourself a favor and just give it up, okay. Derek! Look, baby. I'm sorry but it's for his own good. Trust me. Come on, Tess! - What is wrong with you? - I had a bad day. - You had a bad day? - Yeah, I had a bad day, okay. No, no. That is not okay. You are never gonna speak to my children again. - We are done. - Carly. You know what your problem is, Derek? You can't say what if. And you never will. Okay. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Alright. Who wants to hear some good news? I do. Come on. - Why are you here? - Lily gave me this. Obviously, it's just a permit but the main thing is I'm on the way. Okay well, you should be on your way out of my place. I'm going to bed. No, this is all thanks to you. We got to go out and celebrate. I know a place where all the hot fairy godmothers hang out. Are you out of your mind? I just lost everything that's important to me. My girlfriend, those kids. And I'll probably just hang out my skates for good. All because like an idiot I bought into your tooth fairy garbage. And look where it's gotten me. What? You make one effort after all these years and it doesn't work out and suddenly you're just gonna give up? It's not suppose to be that easy. And you know it. I'll tell you what I do know. I know that you don't have wings. So that means you can't fly. That also means that you can never ever ever be a tooth fairy. And what happens if you try to escape out of a 10-storey building? I'll tell you what happens. Splat! Just like that. You know what's really sad? The person you hurt the most with all your dream killing is not Randy or Carly or even me. - It's you. - Get out. - Fine. - Good. Fine. I'm going to bed. 1:24 left in the 3rd period but the Ice Wolves still trailing 1 to nothing. And Derek Thompson is still completely in the coach's doghouse. I don't think he's seeing a second of ice time the whole game here. Here we go. Here we go. As he has all game on transport tranquil the mute grove continues to replace Thompson on the first line. Face off won by the Glover Myth. Oh, what a hit! Donnelly seals the puck. Now he's rushing up the ice sure-handed. Only Claudey can get back. Let's go, Mick. Let's go, Mick. This is classic, Jim. Every move Donnelly makes comes unanswered. Donnelly moves to his left. Oh, he's got blood out of detention and Donnelly moves around him. He's got the defense of Mcphee, he shoots. Oh, it's a crossbar. Hey, what happened? He blew the whistle. That behind the play, Jim. Petranco got sucker punched and I don't think he's getting up. Thompson. Go. Go! Alright, here we go, boys! The Ice Wolves have less than a minute to score, Jim and send this game in overtime. Off the face off, it's Classford with the puck and he start there driving as the clock winds down. I don't know, Jim. It looks to me like Thompson is just going through the motions out there. Thompson just got leathered! How could that not be a penalty? He just got tossed. I think the Tooth Fairy just got a taste of his own medicine. Look at Thompson, Jim. It looks like he's got some jump back in those legs. Thompson's rushing across the ice and I don't think it's to make friends. Well, this is gonna hurt. No, he pulled off, Jim. He didn't throw a check. Incredible! He steals the puck and now is barreling down the ice. - Look at him go! - They just can't keep up with Thompson. He's making moves we haven't seen in a long time. What is that guy? Thompson now has only one defender to beat. - He takes the stick on the face. - I don't think he's going down. No, he stays on his feet. He's gonna shoot! He shoots! He scores! Derek Thompson has not take a shot in nine years and one of the most amazing shots I've ever seen and ties it up at one-all. Call me the mayor of Southville. Let's do it again. Hey old man. Not bad. Nice shot, dude! And here we go. We're under 20 seconds as both teams head to the center line for a face off. Oh no. The Ice Wolves win the draw. Here's a cross slice pass to Thompson who ices it. - Why would he do that, Ed? - I have no idea, Jim. No, I can't leave now. This is my last chance to actually play the game. To go out the way I came in. Well, I could cover for you. After what I've seen, you deserve it. Thompson, what are you doing? - Who's he talking to? - Yeah, but aren't you just a trainee. - Isn't that breaking the rules? - Please, I've learned from the best. But I do think, you should look at the address before you decide. It's Carly's house. - Hey 14, come on, let's go. - Thompson! Get back in the game. - I can go. Lily does not have to know. - But I'll know. This is my house to take care of. - Let's do this. - How? You can't fly. - Good time to learn. - I knew you had it in you. Go get them. You wanna fly you gotta believe. No need to panic. It's just a giant amnesia gun. It's painless. You won't remember a thing. Don't you forget about me... You will. Good luck finding your cars. - Tess. - Derek. - Hi, honey. - Hi, Derek. - I like your costume. - I have to tell you something. I was wrong. The tooth fairy. It's real and it's me. I know. No, honey, I'm not talking about the hockey tooth fairy. I'm a real tooth fairy. No, you're not. - You are the real tooth fairy. - It will just be our secret, okay. Okay. Randy. What are you doing here? - I have to talk to you. - Go away. Listen. Those things I said yesterday, I was wrong. I don't care. You gotta keep playing guitar. You're really good. And nothing you love doing that much could ever be a waste of time. I'm so sorry. Even if I wanted to, I can't. I smashed my guitar, remember? Tonight is the Talent Show. Hold on a second. - Maybe this will help. - Whoa, it's awesome. - How did you do that? - All-purpose magic generator. - What are you wearing? - You'll find out. In the meantime, put some clothes on. We can still make the Talent Show, okay. Come on. Derek. Mommy! Derek is the tooth fairy. You rented a fairy costume to make it up to Tess. Yes, that's what I did. Hey mom, Derek got me a new guitar and he's taking me to the Talent Show. - What time is it? You'll never make it. - Don't worry about that. We can make it. You, that way. You guys, go upstairs and get there soon. We'll see you. Oh yeah. - Where's your car? - No car. Let's go. Hang on. - How is this happening? - It's okay, it's okay. Yeah, but like, how was it possible? Well, it all started one night I got a summons underneath my pillow. What the heck is a summons? A summons is like an invitation. I got an invitation to go to Fairyland. - Fairyland? - It's where I got these cool wings. I met this guy up there named Tracy. He kinda looks like a walking toothpick with the eyes of a big tuna. By the way I can shrink myself down to six inches. Pretty good. What? Sorry buddy, I've already broken enough rules. Randy, there you are. We've been looking all over for you. You're coming up. Get in there and tune up, come on. - Another tooth. - Thank you. You're welcome. I've got a concert I gotta get to. No, you skidded quite a few rules tonight, Mr. Thompson. But wait, I took care of Carly. I dusted Randy. And Tess, she's only six so pretty soon she'll forget. And even if she doesn't at least now she'll... - She'll always... - Always...what? She will always... Believe. Like I will. I get it. Dreams are good for everyone. Mr. Thompson, I hereby relieve you of tooth fairy duty. - Ah, you're good. - She's a pro. - Congratulations. - Put that away. I tend not to do the whole physical contact thing. Oh, you like me. I know you like me. You do the whole distant administrator to me. A thing which I understand but somewhere in there, you like me. - You like me. - Well, let's not get frisky. - I really gotta go. - Yeah, could you wait just one second? - Tracy, I need another word with you. - Ah, what's this about? Anybody that can rehabilitate Mr. Thompson more than deserves this. - What is it? - It's your wings, Tracy. Wear them with pride, everytime you collect a new tooth. - You're a tooth fairy, buddy. - I got my wings. You got your wings. - You need this. - I don't know why I'm speaking like this. No...Thank you, my lady. Listen, this is all great and I'm very very proud of you. You're the tallest tooth fairy in the world now. But I gotta go. Somebody's got to put me down. Tracy, would you like to do the honors or shall I? - Oh, so honors..oh, a gift! Yeah. - I'm afraid not. You'll not remember anything that happened in Fairyland. Why? Coz that's just the way we do it. I'll never forget you. I can't believe you showed up at the rink. It's just the way we do things. Thank you, Tracy. For everything. You big, four-eyed giraffe, back to the zoo. And you get that head back to Easter Island. - Hammer Brothers are still in town. - Let me meet those guys. - You're my man. - And you are my fairy. How can we make us stay in touch? Can we email? That's what I'm thinking. We should be able to email each other. Do you blog? I do blog. You write a blog. I would love to read your blog. You wanna read my blog? - Do you facebook coz I could poke you? - I love getting poked. Oh, there you are. I couldn't find you. Yeah, I was just at... - I am so exited. - Me too. - Thank you. - You're welcome. - Hi, honey. - Hi Derek! And then we go for our last performer of the night, Randy Harris! Randy! Go Randy! - Way to go, Randy! - Great job! Great, Randy! That's my kid! Hey, I was just wondering what if we got married? What if we got married? That's what I said, I said "what if" - Yes! - Yeah. We're getting married. Yeah, whoa!