The Princess and the Frog - English Transcript

(DOWN IN NEW ORLEANS- PROLOGUE) PLAYING) The Evening Star is shining bright So make a wish and hold on tight There's magic in the air tonight And anything can happen EUDORA: "Just at that moment, the ugly little frog looked up with his sad, round eyes and pleaded, "Oh, please, dear princess, only a kiss from you can break this terrible spell that was inflicted on me by a wicked witch!"" CHARLOTTE:(WHISPERING) Here comes my favorite part. (MEWING) EUDORA: "And the beautiful princess was so moved by his desperate plea that she stooped down, picked up the slippery creature, leaned forward, raised him to her lips, and kissed that little frog! CHARLOTTE: (EXCLAIMS ADORINGLY) TIANA: (GAGGING) EUDORA: "Then, the frog was transformed into a handsome prince. They were married and lived happily ever after. The end." LOTTIE: (CHEERS) (LAUGHING) Read it again! Read it again! EUDORA: Sorry, Charlotte. It's time for us to be heading home. Say "good night," Tiana. TIANA: (ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN) There is no way in this whole wide world I would ever, ever, ever... I mean, never kiss a frog. Yuck! CHARLOTTE: (MISCHIEVOUSLY) Is that so? [CHARLOTTE FORCES A SHREWDLY MADE HOOD THAT RESEMBLES THE HEAD OF A FROG OVER HER CAT'S HEAD. SHE THEN PROCEEDS TO PUSH THE CAT AT TIANA'S FACE, THE PAIR GIGGLING AS SHE DOES SO.] CHARLOTTE: Well, here's your Prince Charming, Tia. Come on. Kiss him. TIANA: No. LOTTIE: Kiss him! TIANA: Stop it! LOTTIE: Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him! TIANA: I won't, I won't, I won't! CHARLOTTE: [STILL HOLDING THE CAT] I would do it. I would kiss a frog. I would kiss a hundred frogs if I could marry a prince and be a princess. [CHARLOTTE SMOTHERS HER CAT WITH FURIOUS KISSING. THE CAT, TRAUMATIZED, JUMPS OUT OF HER ARMS WITH A SCREECH. IT ATTACHES ITSELF TO THE PINK FABRIC-CLAD CEILING WITH SPIKED FUR, POOFY TAIL, AND WIDE EYES.] (BOTH LAUGHING) EUDORA: You girls, stop tormenting that poor little kitty. [EUDORA STANDS ON A STOOL AND GRABS THE CAT FROM THE CEILING] EUDORA (CONT'D): Poor little thing. Mmm. MR. LABOUFF: Evening, Eudora. CHARLOTTE: Daddy! Daddy! (SPINS AROUND) Look at my new dress. Isn't it pretty? MR. LABOUFF: Look at you. Why, I'd expect nothing less from the finest seamstress in New Orleans. [CHARLOTTE PLODS OVER TO THE BOOK THAT EUDORA WAS READING AND POINTS AT THE OPEN PAGE] CHARLOTTE: Ooh! I want that dress! MR. LABOUFF: Now, sugarplum... [HE PICKS UP HIS DAUGHTER WHO IS SQUIRMING IN HIS ARMS RESTLESSLY. SHE YANKS ON HIS MUSTACHE EMPHATICALLY] CHARLOTTE: I want that one! Please, please, please, please! MR. LABOUFF: (THROUGH THE YANKING) Eudora, you suppose you could whip something up like that? EUDORA: Anything for my best customer. [EUDORA STEPS ASIDE TO REVEAL A PLETHORA OF PINK DRESS VARIATIONS LIKE THE ONE IN THE BOOK. EACH IS DETAILED AND INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL] (CHARLOTTE CHEERS) EUDORA: (GRABBING TIANA'S HAND) Come along, Tiana. Your daddy should be home from work by now. [TIANA AND EUDORA LEAVE. THE AUDIENCE SEES THE SILHOUETTES OF MR. LABOUFF AND CHARLOTTE AGAINST THE HALLWAY WALLPAPER.] MR. LABOUFF: All right now, princess, you're getting that dress, but that's it. No more Mr. Pushover. Now, who wants a puppy? CHARLOTTE: I do! I do! She's so cute! [TIANA AND EUDORA GET ON A TROLLEY. THE AUDIENCE SEES THE GRAND EXTERIOR OF THE LA BOUFF ESTATE, A SOUTHERN STYLE MANSION. THE TROLLEY ROLLS FORWARD AND THERE ARE OTHER MANSIONS JUST LIKE IT AS THE NEIGHBORHOOD CONTINUES. THE SCENERY EVOLVES INTO A LESS WEALTHY AREA WHERE SMALL SHANTIES, ALMOST, LIE NEXT TO EACH OTHER.] [THE SCENE CHANGES TO THE KITCHEN OF TIANA'S HOME. SHE'S STANDING ON A CHAIR DUTIFULLY STIRRING A GIANT POT OF DELICIOUS GUMBO.] JAMES: Mmm. Gumbo smells good, Tiana. TIANA: I think it's done, Daddy. JAMES: Yeah? Are you sure? TIANA: Mmm-hmm. JAMES: Absolutely positive? TIANA: Yes. JAMES: Okay, I'm about to put this spoon in my... Wait! Done. Hmm. - What? - Well, sweetheart, this is the best gumbo I've ever tasted! Come here. Eudora, our little girl's got a gift. Mmm-hmm. I could've told you that. A gift this special just got to be shared. Hey, everybody, I made gumbo! WOMAN: Ooh, that smells good! MAN: I got some hush puppies, Tiana. Here I come! JAMES: You know the thing about good food? It brings folks together from all walks of life. It warms them right up and it puts little smiles on their faces. And when I open up my own restaurant, I tell you, people are going to line up for miles around just to get a taste of my food. Our food. (LAUGHS) That's right, baby. Our food. (LAUGHS) That's right, baby. Our food. (GASPS) - Daddy! Look! - Where are you going? Charlotte's fairy tale book said if you make a wish on the Evening Star, it's sure to come true. Well, you wish on that star, sweetheart. Yes. You wish and you dream with all your little heart. But you remember, Tiana, that that old star can only take you part of the way. You got to help it along with some hard work of your own, and then, yeah, you can do anything you set your mind to. Just promise your daddy one thing. That you'll never, ever lose sight of what's really important. Okay? See you in the morning, babycakes. Get some sleep. Please, please, please! (CROAKS) (SCREAMING) (SIGHS) Well, Miss Tiana, rough night for tips, but every little penny counts. Don't you worry, Daddy. We'll be there soon. (DOWN IN NEW ORLEANS PLAYING) (SNORING) Good night, Cal's. Good morning, Duke's. (SIN GIN G) In the south land, there's a city Way down on the river Where the women are very pretty And all the men deliver (GRUNTS) They got music, it's always playing Start in the daytime Go all through the night When you hear that music playing Hear what I'm sayin' It make you feel all right Grab somebody, come on down Bring your paintbrush We painting the town There's some sweetness goin' round Catch it down in New Orleans We got magic, good and bad Make you happy or make you real sad Get everything you want Lose what you had Down here in New Orleans (SCREAMS) Hey, partner! Don't be shy Come on down, yeah, and give us a try If you wanna do some livin' before you die Do it down in New Orleans (GIRLS EXCLAIMING) Stately homes and mansions Of the sugar barons and the cotton kings Rich people, poor people all got dreams Dreams do come true in New Orleans (SCOFFS) (HORN HONKING) (DINGS) Order up! - Another coffee here, chere. - Coming right up, Virgil. - Hey, Tiana! - Morning, Georgia. - Hey, how you doing, Tiana? - Hey, y'all. We all going out dancing tonight. Care to join us? - Yeah, come on. Live a little. - Come on, Tiana. - You can dance with me. - It's Mardi Gras. You know I got two left feet. Besides, I'm... You need a napkin, sweetheart? I'm going to work a double shift tonight. Here are your hotcakes. You know, so I can... So you can save for your restaurant. I know, I know. Girl, all you ever do is work. (BELL DINGS) - BUFORD: Order up! - Maybe next time. VIOLET: I told y'all she wouldn't come. Are you talking about that dang restaurant again? Buford, your eggs are burning. Oh! You ain't never going to get enough for the down payment. - I'm getting close. - Yeah, how close? Where are my flapjacks? (LAUGHING) You got about as much chance of getting that restaurant as I do of winning the Kentucky Derby! (EXCLAIMS) Saddle me up, y'all! It's post time. Giddyup, giddyup. (MIMICKING TRUMPET) - Morning, Mr. La Bouff. - Good morning, Tiana. Congratulations on being voted King of the Mardi Gras parade. Caught me completely by surprise, for the fifth year in a row! (LAUGHING) Now, how about I celebrate with... Beignets? Got a fresh batch just waiting for you. Well, keep them coming till I pass out. Oh, Tia! - Tia, Tia, Tia, did you hear the news? - Hey, Charlotte. - Tia, Tia, Tia, did you hear the news? - Hey, Charlotte. Tell her. Oh, tell her, Big Daddy! Oh, yeah, Prince Naveen... Prince Naveen of Maldonia is coming to New Orleans! (SCREAMING) Oh! Isn't he the bee's knees? Tell her what you did, Big Daddy. Tell her! - Well, I invited... - Big Daddy invited the prince to our masquerade ball tonight! To our masquerade ball tonight! (EXCLAIMS) Tell her what else you did, Big Daddy. Go on. - And he's staying... - And he's staying... And he's staying in our house as my personal guest. (EXHALES) Oh, Lottie, that's swell. A little word of advice. My mama always said, "The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach." (CHUCKLING) - Ah! That's it! - What just happened? Tia! You are a bona fide genius. I'm going to need about 500 of your man-catching beignets for my ball tonight. Excuse me, Daddy. Will this about cover it? This should cover it just fine, Lottie. This is it! I'm getting my restaurant! (WHOOPS) Tonight my prince is finally coming. And I sure as heck ain't letting him go! (CHARLOTTE WHOOPING) Hmm. Everything looks peachy-keen, Mr. Fenner and Mr. Fenner. We'll have all the paperwork ready to sign, first thing after Mardi Gras. I'll do you one better. Why don't I sign them tonight when I see y'all at the La Bouffs' masquerade ball? MR. FENNER 2: You drive a hard bargain, Tiana! MR. FENNER 2: You drive a hard bargain, Tiana! (HORN HONKING) Table for one, please? Oh! Mama. Here's a little something to help you get started. Daddy's gumbo pot. Oh! I know. (TIANA SNIFFLES) I miss him, too. Well, now. Hurry up and open the door! Just look at it, Mama. Doesn't it just make you want to cry? Yes. The maitre d' is going to be right where you're standing. Oh! And over here, a gourmet kitchen! And hanging from the ceiling, a big old crystal chandelier! (CHUCKLING) You're your daddy's daughter, all right. He used to go on and on about this old sugar mill, too. Babycakes, I'm sure this place is going to be just wonderful, but it's a shame you are working so hard. But how can I let up now when I'm so close? I got to make sure all Daddy's hard work means something. Tiana. Your daddy may not have gotten the place he always wanted, but he had something better. He had love. And that's all I want for you, sweetheart, to meet your Prince Charming and dance off into your happily ever after. Mama! I don't have time for dancing. (SINGING) That's just gonna have to wait a while How long we talking about here? Ain't got time for messing around And it's not my style I want some grandkids! This old town can slow you down People taking the easy way People taking the easy way But I know exactly where I'm going I'm getting closer and closer every day And I'm almost there I'm almost there People down here think I'm crazy But I don't care Trials and tribulations I've had my share There ain't nothing gonna stop me now 'Cause I'm almost there I remember Daddy told me Fairy tales can come true You got to make them happen It all depends on you So I work real hard each and every day Now things for sure are going my way Just doing what I do Look out, boys, I'm coming through And I'm almost there (CROWD EXCLAIMING) I'm almost there People gonna come here from everywhere And I'm almost there I'm almost there There's been trials and tribulations You know I've had my share But I've climbed a mountain I've crossed a river And I'm almost there I'm almost there I'm almost there Excuse me! You need a hand there, buddy? (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) (CROWD CHEERING) (EXCLAIMING) Yes! (LAUGHS) (EXCLAIMING) (GIGGLING) Sire! I've been looking for you everywhere. What a coincidence, Lawrence. I have been avoiding you everywhere. We're going to be late for the masquerade. Listen, Lawrence, listen! (EXCLAIMS IN DELIGHT) It's jazz. It's jazz music! It was born here. Is beautiful, no? No. Dance with me, fat man. Stay loose, Lawrence! We're supposed to be at the La Bouff estate by now! Yes, yes, yes, but first I buy everyone here a drink! (CROWD CHEERING) With what? At this point, you have two choices, woo and marry a rich young lady or get a job! (HORSE WHINNYING) (GROANS) All right. Fine. But first we dance! No, this is idiocy! For someone who cannot see his feet, you're very light on them! Is perfect! You finally got into the music. Do you get my joke? Because your head is... It's in the tuba. - Get me out! - All right. Hold on. One... (LAUGHING) How degrading! I've never been so humiliated. Hello. Gentlemen! (GREETS IN FRENCH) A tip of the hat from Dr. Facilier. How y'all doing? "Tarot readings, charms, potions. Dreams made real." "Tarot readings, charms, potions. Dreams made real." (EXCLAIMS) Were I a betting man, and I'm not, I stay away from games of chance... LAWRENCE: Sire! I'd wager I'm in the company of visiting royalty. Lawrence. Lawrence! This remarkable gentleman has just read my palm. Or this morning's newspaper. (SOFTLY) Sire! This chap is obviously a charlatan. I suggest we move on to a less... (SINGING) Don't you disrespect me, little man Don't you derogate or deride You're in my world now, not your world And I got friends on the other side And I got friends on the other side - He's got friends on the other side - He's got friends on the other side That's an echo, gentlemen. Just a little something we have here in Louisiana, little parlor trick. Don't worry. Sit down at my table Put your minds at ease If you relax, it will enable me to do anything I please I can read your future I can change it round some, too I look deep into your heart and soul You do have a soul don't you, Lawrence? Make your wildest dreams come true I got voodoo, I got hoodoo I got things I ain't even tried And I got friends on the other side - He's got friends on the other side - He's got friends on the other side The cards, the cards The cards will tell The past, the present and the future, as well The cards, the cards, just take three Take a little trip into your future with me Now you, young man are from across the sea You come from two long lines of royalty I'm a royal myself on my mother's side. Your lifestyle's high But your funds are low You need to marry a little honey whose daddy got dough Mom and Dad cut you off, huh, playboy? Eh, sad but true. Now y'all got to get hitched. But hitching ties you down. You just want to be free, hop from place to place. But freedom takes green. (DR. FACILIER CHUCKLING) It's the green, it's the green It's the green you need And when I look into your future it's the green that I seen On you, little man I don't want to waste much time You been pushed round all your life You been pushed round by your mother And your sister and your brother And if you was married You'd be pushed round by your wife (CHUCKLES) But in your future, the you I see Is exactly the man you always wanted to be Shake my hand Come on, boys Won't you shake a poor sinner's hand? Yes Are you ready? - Are you ready? - Are you ready? Are you ready? Transformation Central - Transformation Central - Transformation Central Reformation Central - Reformation Central - Reformation Central Transmogrification Central (SHOUTS) Can you feel it? You're changing, you're changing You're changing, all right I hope you're satisfied But if you ain't, don't blame me You can blame my friends On the other side - You got what you wanted - You got what you wanted - But you lost what you had - But you lost what you had Hush Senator Johnson. Hey, Jimmy. I hope you're leaving some of them beignets for your constituents. Here you go, piping hot. Stella. Excuse me. Stella, no. No. (WHINING) (LAUGHS) Okay, but just one. But, Miss Charlotte, you said "later" two hours ago. Travis, when a woman says "later," she really means "not ever." Now run along. There are plenty of young fillies dying for you to waltz them into a stupor. - Give me them napkins, quick! - What on earth for? I swear, I'm sweating like a sinner in church. Tia, it's getting to be so late! There's still a few stragglers. It's just not fair! My prince is never coming! - Now, Lottie... - I never get anything I wish for! Lottie, wait! Just calm down. Take a deep... Maybe I just got to wish harder. Please, please, please, please, please, please! Lottie, you can't just wish on a star and expect things... MAN: Ladies and gentlemen! His Royal Highness, Prince Naveen! (GUESTS EXCLAIMING) (WHISTLES) (GUESTS APPLAUDING) (WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING) Evening, Tiana. Marvelous party. Evening, Mr. Fenner and Mr. Fenner. Fine-smelling beignets. Going to be the house specialty once I sign those papers y'all brought. Yes. About that. You were outbid. - What? - A fellow came in, offered the full amount in cash. Unless you can top his offer by Wednesday... You can kiss that place goodbye. You know how long it took me to save that money? Exactly! Which is why a little woman of your background would have had her hands full trying to run a big business like that. No, you're better off where you're at. - Now, wait a minute... - Love those beignets, though. Now, hold on there! You come back... (YELPS) (SHATTERING) Tia! Time to hit Prince Charming with those man-catching... What happened? - I... I just... - You poor dear. Oh, Prince Naveen, we'll be right back, sugar! I got just the dress for you. Tia, honey, did you see the way he danced with me? A marriage proposal can't be far behind. Thank you, Evening Star! You know, I was starting to think that wishing on stars was just for babies and crazy people. (GASPS) Look at you. Aren't you just as pretty as a magnolia in May? Seems like only yesterday we were both little girls dreaming our fairy tale dreams, and tonight they're finally coming true. Well, back into the fray. Wish me luck! Oh, Naveen... (SINGING) Almost Almost there People would have come from everywhere I was almost there I cannot believe I'm doing this. Please, please, please. (GASPS) (SIGHS) Very funny. So what now? I reckon you want a kiss? Kissing would be nice, yes? (SCREAMING) I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I did not mean to scare you. I... Wait, no, no, no! Wait. Hold on a sec... (YELPS) You have a very strong arm, Princess. Okay, please! Put the monkey down. Stay back or I'll... Please, please, please. (GRUNTS) Oh, wow. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Prince Naveen (WEAKLY) of Maldonia. Prince? But I didn't wish for any... Hold on. If you're the prince, then who was that waltzing with Lottie on the dance floor? All I know is one minute I am a prince, charming and handsome, cutting a rug, and then the next thing I know, I am tripping over these. Wait, wait, wait, wait! I know this story! (NAVEEN EXCLAIMS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) - The Frog Prince? - Yes! My mother had the servants read this to me every night. Yes, yes, yes! This is exactly the answer! You must kiss me. Excuse me? You will enjoy, I guarantee. All women enjoy the kiss of Prince Naveen. Come. We pucker. That's new. Look, I'm sorry. I'd really like to help you, but I just do not kiss frogs. Wait a sec, but on the balcony, you asked me. I didn't expect you to answer! But you must kiss me. Look, besides being unbelievably handsome, okay, I also happen to come from a fabulously wealthy family. Surely I could offer you some type of reward, a wish I could grant, perhaps? A wish I could grant, perhaps? Yes? Just one kiss? Just one, unless you beg for more. (EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST) (SOFTLY) Okay, Tiana, you can do this. You can do this. Just a little kiss. Just a little kiss. Okay. (INHALES DEEPLY) (GASPS) (EXCLAIMS) TIANA: You don't look that much different, but how did you get way up there? And how did I get way down here in all this... (GASPS) (SCREAMING) Easy, Princess. Princess, do not panic! What did you do to me? I'm green and I'm slimy! - No! No, no, no, that is not slime. - What? - You are secreting mucus. - You... You... (NAVEEN SHOUTS) (BOTH SHOUTING) (EXCLAIMING) (SCREAMING) Hey, Stella! Get them frogs! - Run! - I can't run. I'm a frog! Then hop! (BARKING) Down, boy. Down, monster dog! (BOTH SCREAM) En garde! NAVEEN: Look out! Out of the way! TIANA: Oh, no! - Where are we going? - Excuse me! TIANA: I can't see a thing! NAVEEN: Neither can I! - Wait! Stella! - Going up! - Stella, it's me, Tiana! - Tiana? Stella just talked to me. The dog just spoke to me! You know, if you're going to let every little thing bother you, it's going to be a very long night! (GASPS) Oh, dear. Oh! You're so quiet. You let him go? The poor devil was gasping, so I loosened the lid ever so slightly. (GRUNTS) (LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY) Now how did I ever get tangled up in all this voodoo madness? I can't go through with this! (GROANS) You wear this ghastly thing! Careful with that! Anything happens to this, I'm going to be... Fun fact about voodoo, Larry. Can't conjure a thing for myself. Besides, you and I both know the real power in this world ain't magic. It's money! Buckets of it. - That's true. - Aren't you tired of living on the margins while all those fat cats in their fancy cars don't give you so much as a sideways glance? Yes. I am. All you got to do is marry Big Daddy's little princess, and we'll be splitting that juicy La Bouff fortune right down the middle. - 60-40, like I said. - Hmm. Yeah. But what about Naveen? Your little slip-up will be a minor bump in the road, so long as we've got the prince's blood in this. (BOTH CHUCKLING) Yes. TIANA: Voodoo? You mean to tell me this all happened because you were messing with the Shadow Man? He was very charismatic. (GROANS) It serves me right for wishing on stars. The only way to get what you want in this world is through hard work. Hard work? Why would a princess need to work hard? Huh? Oh! I'm not a princess. I'm a waitress. A waitress? Well, no wonder the kiss did not work. You lied to me! No, I... I never said I was a princess. You never said that you were a waitress! You... You were wearing a crown! It was a costume party, you spoiled little rich boy! Oh, yes? Well, the egg is on your face, all right? - Because I do not have any riches. - What? (LAUGHS) I am completely broke! (BALLOON POPS) Uh-oh. (BOTH SCREAMING) You said you were fabulously wealthy! No. My parents are fabulously wealthy, but they cut me off for being a... Leech! Leech! You're broke, and you had the gall to call me a liar? (BOTH SCREAMING) It was not a lie. I fully... (SHOUTS) Run! I fully intend to be rich again. Once I marry Miss Charlotte La Bouff. If she will have me. - You're a prince? - Obviously. She'll have you. (BOTH SCREAMING) All right, then. Once you two are married, you are going to keep your promise and get me my restaurant, right? Not so fast. I made that promise to a beautiful princess, not a cranky... Why are those logs moving? TIANA: Those aren't logs. (ALLIGATOR SNARLING) (SCREAMS) (CHUCKLES) I got dibs on the big one. ALLIGATOR 1: Where'd they go? ALLIGATOR 2: Where'd they go? ALLIGATOR 3: I saw him first! ALLIGATOR 4: Come here, you plump, tasty morsel! ALLIGATOR 3: That's my tail, pea brain! ALLIGATOR 1: Where did they go? Come on! NAVEEN: Psst! Lower the vine. Find your own tree. - There he is! - I see him! I see him! All right. Look, look. Help me get out of this swamp, and once I marry Charlotte, I shall get you your restaurant. You're going to taste so good basted and battered and fried! Quick, quick! Pull me up! ALLIGATOR 1: (LAUGHS) You can hop, but you can't hide. ALLIGATOR 3: We got all night. (ALLIGATORS LAUGHING) NAVEEN: Well, waitress, looks like we're going to be here for a while. So we may as well get comfortable. (NAVEEN GROANS) TIANA: Keep your slimy self away from me! I told you, it is not slime! It is mucus! (SNORING) (EXCLAIMS IN PAIN) TIANA: Rise and shine, sleeping beauty! Gators are gone. What? We got to get back to New Orleans and undo this mess you got us into. I was not the one parading around with a phony-baloney tiara. Music to paddle by. I could use a little help. Oh! I will play a little louder. (PLAYING UPBEAT TUNE) How about a little less picking and a... (GASPS) (BOTH SCREAMING) I know that tune! Dippermouth Blues! (PLAYING UPBEAT TUNE) (PLAYING UPBEAT TUNE) Play it, brother! Oh, yeah! (EXCLAIMING) Where you been all my life? Where did you learn to play like that? Why, the bayou's the best jazz school in the world. All the greats play the riverboats. Old Louis would give anything to be up there jamming with the big boys. - Why don't you? - Oh, I tried once. (PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC) (PEOPLE SCREAMING) It didn't end well. Uh-huh. It has been a real pleasure meeting you, Louis. And thank you kindly for not eating us, but we best be on our way. Where... Where y'all going? To find somebody to break this spell. What spell? Brace yourself, my scaly friend. We are not frogs. We are humans. (LAUGHING) Y'all serious? I am Naveen, Prince of Maldonia. And she is Tiana, the waitress. (SOFTLY) Do not kiss her. (GASPS) Now, just a second. This goon here got himself turned into a frog by a voodoo man, and now... Voodoo? Like the kind Mama Odie do? Mama who-dee? Mama Odie. She the voodoo queen of the bayou. She got magic and spells, all kind of hoodoo. - Could you take us to her? - Could you take us to her? (GASPS) Through the deepest, darkest part of the bayou? Facing razor-sharp pricker bushes and trappers and hunters with guns? No. (PLAYING SOULFUL TUNE) Watch and learn. Louis, it is too bad we cannot help you with your dream. If only you were smaller, less toothy, you could play jazz to adoring crowds without scaring them. (STOPS PLAYING) Anyway, enjoy your loneliness, my friend. (BIDS GOODBYE IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) Cute, but it's not going to... Hey, guys, I just had me a crazy idea! What if I ask Mama Odie to turn me human? Louis! You are a genius! Hallelujah! (PLAYING UPBEAT TUNE) (SINGING) If I were a human being I'd head straight for New Orleans And I'd blow this horn so hot and strong Like no one they've ever seen You heard of Louis Armstrong Mr. Sidney Bechet All those boys gonna step aside when they hear this old ex-gator play Listen Oh, yeah! (BOTH YELP) When I'm human as I hope to be I'm gonna blow this horn till the cows come home And everyone's gonna bow down to me Thank you, thank you. Oh, thank you. I love you, too, baby. When I'm myself again I want just the life I had A great big party every night That doesn't sound too bad A redhead on my left arm A brunette on my right A blonde or two to hold the candles Now that seems just about right Eh, Louis? Life is short When you're done, you're done We're on this earth to have some fun - And that's the way things are - Tell it, brother! When I'm human, and I'm gonna be I'm gonna tear it up like I did before And that's a royal guarantee You are getting married! Oh, right. I'll just have to leave a string of broken hearts behind me! Your modesty becomes you and your sense of responsibility I've worked hard for everything I've got And that's the way it's supposed to be When I'm a human being at least I'll act like one If you do your best each and every day Good things are sure to come your way What you give is what you get My daddy said that and I'll never forget And I commend it to you - When we're human - When we're human - And we're gonna be - And we're gonna be I'm gonna blow my horn I'm gonna live the high life I'm gonna do my best to take my place in the sun - When we're - When we're - Human - Human CHARLOTTE: Prince Naveen, dear, I am positively mortified you had to endure that frog fiasco last night. Well, when you're next in line for the throne, you're poised like a panther, ready to expect the unexpected. (BOTH SNARL) (EXCLAIMS) Your ear? What? Oh! (WHIMPERS) (LAUGHS) Those pesky mosquitoes. They're everywhere. Please. (CLEARS THROAT) Miss Charlotte, I can no longer ignore the throbbing of my heart. Even though our time together has been brief, it's been heavenly! Land sakes, Prince Naveen! You got me blushing like a... Would you do me the honor of becoming Princess of Maldonia? Are you serious? As the plague. Yes! I most definitely will marry you! There's so much to plan! I mean, the guest list, the dress, the music, the flowers, the shoes... (SQUEALS) We're going to have ourselves a Mardi Gras wedding! (SIGHS) (GASPS) No! What do we do now? Because somebody let our froggy prince go, Larry, I'm reduced to asking for help from my friends on the other side. Now, this restaurant of yours, is it going to have etouffee? Jambalaya, gumbo. It's going to have it all. I've always wanted to try red beans and rice, muffulettas, po' boys. Stop, Louis. You two are making me so very hungry. Interesting. What are you doing? (SOFTLY) Shh! You are frightening the food. (LAUGHS) This is harder than it looks. (GROANS) (GASPS) What? Oh, no. No, no, no. There is no way I am kissing a frog and eating a bug on the same day. (SHOUTS) (MUFFLED) No! No, no. - Hello. - Hold still. Stop moving! You are making this very difficult! Y'all find anything to eat yet? Oh, my. Hang on. Old Louis got it covered. NAVEEN: No, no... TIANA: Don't... LOUIS: How's that? This could be a little better. You know what this needs? A sharp stick! Be right back. (SCATTING) - This is all your fault. - My fault? My fault... Let me tell you something. I was having a wonderful time until... Coo! Well, looky here! Girl, I guess you and your boyfriend got a little carried away. Am I right? - Oh, no, no! - Do not be ridiculous! - He's not my boyfriend! - I am the Prince of Maldonia! Let me shine a little light on the situation. (FARTS) Excuse me. One more time now. (GRUNTING) That's more better. Yeah. It's okay, baby. I don't explode me. I ain't no firecracker! I just got my big butt glowing! That's right! The women like a man with a big back porch! Lord, you done this up real good, for sure. Now where this go to at? Hang on, Cap. I'm just going to give a little twist here. We're getting to know each other now! (RAY WHOOPS) (SINGING) Won't you catch a fish? Catch one, catch two (MECHANICAL WHIRRING) We're back in the bayou 'round fishin' time (BOTH SCREAM) It's about time I introduce myself. My name Raymond, but everybody call me "Ray." Pardon me, but your accent, it's funny, no? I'm a Cajun, brah. Born and bred in the bayou. Y'all must be new around here, huh? Actually, we are from a place far, far away from this world. Go to bed! Y'all from Shreveport? No. No, no, no. We are people. Prince Charming here got himself turned into a frog by a voodoo witch doctor. Well, there you go. And we were on our way to Mama Odie's. - We think maybe she can... - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Mama Odie? Y'all headed the wrong directional, chere. Now what kind of chucklehead told y'all to go this way? I found a stick! Louis. Ray here says you've been taking us in the wrong direction. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) I was... Well, listen. I was confused by the topography and the geography and the choreography and... First rule of the bayou, never take direction from a gator. (WHISTLES) Why, me and my relationals will help show y'all the way. (EXCLAIMS) Hey, Cousin Randy! You ready for a little bayou zydeco? Ready when you are, Cousin Ray. All right, Lulu. Let's get to it, darling. (PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC) Come on, chere! Just follow the bouncing butt! (SINGING) We're gonna take you there We're gonna take you there We're gonna take you all the way there Gonna take you there We're gonna take you there We're gonna take you all the way Oh, yeah! Goin' down the bayou Goin' down the bayou Goin' down the bayou Takin' you all the way We got the whole family. There goes Mimi, Cousin Beaudreaux. Oh, Grandmama! Your light out! Hmm? We all gonna pull together Down here that's how we do Me for them and them for me We all be there for you We gon' take ya We gon' take ya We gon' take ya all the way there We know where you're goin' and we're goin' with you Takin' you all the way Goin' down the bayou Goin' down the bayou Goin' down the bayou Takin' you all... Yeah, you know! Come on, y'all! Keep that line flowin' and the lights a-glowin'! Yeah, you're right! Friends, I know I'm in hock to y'all pretty deep already, but seems our little froggy prince lost his way and I need your generous assistance getting him back. (LAUGHS) I hear you! Now, what's in it for y'all? Well, as soon as I dispose of Big Daddy La Bouff and I'm running this town, (LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY) I'll have the entire city of New Orleans in the palm of my hand. And you'll have all the wayward souls your dark little hearts desire. (LAUGHING) Y'all love that, don't you? So, we got ourselves a deal? (SHRIEKING) (LAUGHING) Now we're cooking! We're going to find ourselves a frog! Search everywhere! The bayou, the Quarter. Bring him to me alive. I need his heart pumping for now. (SPEAKING FRENCH) (CONTINUES LAUGHING) RAY: I'll take them the rest of the way. - Nice meeting y'all! - Bye-bye, Pookie! (RAY SPEAKING FRENCH) BEAUDREAUX: Will do, Cousin Ray! And don't forget to tell Angela, Ray-Ray say, "Bonne chance!" - That's your girl? - Oh, no, no. My girl? Ho, ho, ho. That's Evangeline. Evangeline? She the most prettiest firefly ever did glow. (SQUEALS) You know, I talk to Evangeline most every night. She's kind of shy. Don't say much. And I know in my heart someday we are going to be together. Yeah. - Aw! That's so sweet. - NAVEEN: Yeah, so sweet. Just do not settle down so quickly, my friend. There are plenty of fireflies in the swamp. (TIANA GROANS) What? (SHOUTS IN PAIN) Pricker bushes got me! Gator down! Gator down! The darkness is closing in! I'm so cold. RAY: Will you hold still, you big baby? (LOUIS SCREAMING) RAY: I ain't touched it yet. (CLATTERING) Oh! Take a look at them two jumpers. I can taste them frog legs already. Bet they taste real good with the sauce piquant, right, Pa? (SOFTLY) Will you keep quiet? (EXCLAIMS IN PAIN) (MUMBLING) Oh! My thoughts exactly, Two Fingers. It is time to catch us some frogs! (BOTH CHUCKLING) (EXCLAIMS) You know, waitress, I have finally figured out what is wrong with you. Have you now? You do not know how to have fun. There. - Somebody had to say it. - Thank you, because I figured out what your problem is, too. I'm too wonderful? (GRUNTS) No, you're a no-'count, philandering, lazy bump on a log. (CHUCKLES) (COUGHS) Killjoy. - What did you say? - Nothing. - (COUGHS) Stick in the mud. - Listen here, mister. This stick in the mud has had to work two jobs her whole life while you've been sucking on a silver spoon chasing chambermaids around your ivory tower! Actually, it's polished marble. (NAVEEN SHOUTS) I got me one, boys! Y'all get that little one over there! I got me one, boys! Y'all get that little one over there! (GASPS) (CHUCKLING) (GROANING) (PANTING) (YELPS) REGGIE: That's good hunting today, yes, indeed! Hunters with guns! (LOUIS SCREAMING) Look at them big frog legs. I want me some corn bread with this dinner! Oh, no! A bug got to do what a bug got to do! (GROANING) I think I done chipped my favorite tooth. (GASPS) Here I come, Two Fingers! I'll help... (EXCLAIMING) Pa! We got one! Shush now! Get on quiet there! What happened to yours? Shut your trap, Darnell! (LAUGHS) Free! (SCATTING) (GASPS) (SHOUTS) (THUDS) Pa, did you hear that suspicious thud? Yeah. I sure did. (GASPS) (SHUSHING) What are you two gawking at? (GROANING) Just missed him! I will make him pay for his insolence! Two Fingers! I need some help over here! - Now! Go! - Would you stop that? (RIFLE COCKING) Hold still. No, no, no. No, you idiot, not there! (LAUGHING) Watch this. (EXCLAIMS) Missed it! (CHUCKLES) Get them froggies! (ALL GROANING) (EXCLAIMS IN PAIN) (GROANS) These two ain't like no frogs I ever seen. They smart. And we talk, too. (ALL SCREAMING) (COUGHING) You all right there, little bug? I'm fine. But your breath done near kill me to death. - Would you mind? - I got you covered, brah. Much obliged, peewee. Now how about the other side? (GROANS) "And we talk, too." I like that. You are secretly funny. - Not a stick in the mud? Say it. Say it. - Well, I wouldn't go... - All right. You're not exactly... - I can't hear you. I'm sorry. What? ...a complete stick deep in the mud. (GROANING) Easy. Easy! - This one's in there, ain't it? Hold on. - Holy... (GRUNTING) Chere, I know we gots to get to Mama Odie lickety-split, but this particular extractification is going to take a while. Yeah. Poor Louis. You know what would make me feel better? (SCREAMING) Crawfish smothered in remoulade sauce... Mercy! - RAY: Just a little more! - With some Bananas Foster sprinkled with pralines... Oh, Mama! - How about some swamp gumbo? - That will do. (SHOUTING) Sounds delicious. I'll start with a pre-dinner cocktail and something to nibble on while I wait. Thanks. No, no, no, your royal highness. You are going to mince these mushrooms. - (STUTTERS) Do what? - Mince the mushrooms! Hop to it! - Little ridiculous. - TIANA: Are you mincing? All right! Relax. (HUMMING) (EXHALES DEEPLY) One. Step aside, mister. Watch and learn. Oh! All right. (CHUCKLES) - There you go. - You know, I've never done anything like this before. - Really? - All right. But when you live in a castle, everything is done for you. All the time. They dress you. They feed you. Drive you. Brush your teeth. Oh, poor baby. I admit it was a charmed life until the day my parents cut me off, and suddenly I realized I don't know how to do anything. Well, hey, you got the makings of a decent mushroom mincer. You think so? Keep practicing and I just might hire you. - Really? - No. (GROANS) Come on! What was that? That was below the frog belt. (WHOOSHING) (SHRIEKING) (SHADOWS SHRIEKING) RAY: You going to see a blind nutria. You say, "Hello." And he say, "What?" And you say, "That a ugly fish." (ALL LAUGHING) Anyone for seconds? That was magnificent! You truly have a gift. Why, thank you. (RAY GASPS) There she is. The sweetest firefly in all creation. Evangeline? I want to meet this girl. Where she at? How you can miss her? She glowing right up there in front of y'all. (SINGING) Look how she lights up the sky Ma belle Evangeline (LAUGHS) That ain't no fire... Shh! So far above me, yet I Know her heart belongs to only me (RAY SINGING IN FRENCH) (TRANSLATING) I adore you. I love you. I'm just translating. You're my queen of the night So still, so bright That someone as beautiful as she Could love someone like me No. I don't dance. Love always finds a way, it's true I've never danced. And I love you, Evangeline If I can mince, you can dance. (EXCLAIMS) (EXCLAIMS) RA Y: Love is beautiful Love is wonderful Love is everything Do you agree? (RAY EXCLAIMS IN FRENCH) Look how she lights up the sky (GASPS) I love you, Evangeline Ah! Lottie's getting herself one heck of a dance partner. We best be pushing on. (SIGHS) (SCREAMS) - Tiana! - Naveen! (SHOUTS) RAY: No, no, no! (NAVEEN GRUNTS) (GASPS) Not bad for a 197-year-old blind lady. (CHUCKLING) Now which one of you naughty children been messing with the Shadow Man? TIANA: We're so glad we found you, Mama Odie. Ray and Louis here have been telling us all about you. We've been traveling quite a long way, and you can't imagine what we've been through. And we... - And we heard that you... - Juju! (LAUGHS) Come on over here, you bad boy. Give us a little sugar, now. (GAGGING) Y'all just loves your mama, don't you? Good to see you again, Ray. How's your grandmama? She's fine. Got in a little trouble for flashing the neighbors again. Oooh, I like that gal's ***! (LAUGHING) Mama Odie. We don't want to take up too much of your time... Y'all want some candy? (STUTTERING) - Not really. - No, thank you. Now, that's too bad. It's a special candy. Would have turned y'all human. - Wait! Don't! Please don't take it! - No! Please! I'm just messing with y'all. How on Earth did you know that we wanted to turn back... (SNORING) - Mama Odie? - Juju! Why didn't you tell me my gumbo was burning? You sure this is the right blind voodoo lady who lives in a boat in a tree in the bayou? Pretty sure. Can't believe this. Got to do everything around here. - Mama Odie, if you... - Taste this! Well? Hit it hard with a couple of shots of Tabasco and it's the bee's knees. - Now, can we... - Juju! (EXCLAIMING) That's got some zang to it! That's just what it needed. Now, y'all figure out what you need? It's just like you said, Mama Odie. We need to be human. (SCOFFS) Y'all ain't got the sense you was born with! Y'all want to be human but you're blind to what you need! What we want? What we need? Is all the same thing, yes? (EXCLAIMS IN PAIN) Is the same thing? No! You listen to your mama now. (SINGING) Don't matter what you look like Don't matter what you wear How many rings you got on your finger - We don't care, no - ALL: We don't care Don't matter where you come from Don't even matter what you are A dog, a pig, a cow, a goat - Had 'em all in here - ALL: Had 'em all in here And they all knew what they wanted What they wanted me to do I told 'em what they needed Just like I be telling you ALL: You got to dig a little deeper Find out who you are ALL: You got to dig a little deeper It really ain't that far When you find out who you are You'll find out what you need - Blue skies and sunshine - ALL: Blue skies and sunshine Guaranteed - You got to dig - ALL: Dig - You got to dig - ALL: Dig Prince Froggy is a rich little boy You want to be rich again That ain't gonna make you happy now Did it make you happy then? No! Money ain't got no soul Money ain't got no heart All you need is some self-control Make yourself a brand-new start ALL: You got to dig a little deeper Don't have far to go ALL: You got to dig a little deeper Tell the people Mama told you so Can't tell you what you'll find Maybe love will grant you peace of mind Dig a little deeper and you'll know - MAMA ODIE: Miss Froggy. - Ma'am? - Might I have a word? - Yes, ma'am. You's a hard one, that's what I heard. Your daddy was a loving man Family, through and through You your daddy's daughter What he had in him, you got in you ALL: You got to dig a little deeper For you, it's gonna be tough ALL: You got to dig a little deeper You ain't dug near far enough Dig down deep inside yourself You'll find out what you need ALL: Blue skies and sunshine Guaranteed Open up the windows! Let in the light, children! ALL: Blue skies and sunshine Blue skies and sunshine Blue skies and sunshine Guaranteed Well, Miss Froggy, do you understand what you need now, child? Yes. I do, Mama Odie. I need to dig a little deeper and work even harder to get my restaurant. (SOBS) All right, y'all, one more time! (SINGING) It don't matter what you look like It don't... Nobody is going to sing with Ray? Okay. Well, if y'all are set on being human, there's only one way. Gumbo, gumbo in the pot. We need a princess, whatcha got? (SNORING) Lottie? But she's not a princess. Hush up and look at the gumbo. (KNOCK ON DOOR) Ta-da! TIANA: That's right. Big Daddy's King of the Mardi Gras parade. So that makes Lottie a princess. - Does that count? - Yes, it does, but only till midnight when Mardi Gras is over. (EXCLAIMS) Hop-along, you only got till then to get that princess to kiss you. Once she does, boom! (MAMA ODIE CHUCKLES) You both turn human! - Midnight? - That doesn't give us much time at all. What about me, Mama? I want to be human, too, so I can play jazz with the big boys. I want fingers and toes and a bellybutton. Not the kind that sticks out but the kind that goes in. Jabber Jaws, you dig a little deeper, you'll find everything you need. Come on, come on, come on. There's a lot of river between here and New Orleans. Y'all best get to swimming. Wait! I got a better idea. (WHISTLES) (HUMMING) (ALL GASPING) (MEN CHATTERING) They got guns! (EXCLAIMING) (GASPS) Man, that is one killer-diller costume! Hey, gator, can you blow that horn? Come on. Sit in with us! We're playing Mardi Gras. (SIGHS) (EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY) We can't miss this! Little Louis going to finally play with the big boys! Naveen, you coming? Oh! I'll catch up with you later. Oh, Evangeline. Why can't I just look Tiana in the eye and say, "I will do whatever it takes to make all your dreams come true because... "Because I love you"? Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cap! You making goo-goo eyes at my girl? That's it! Put them up! I'm going to make some shoes out of you! No, Ray! I am not in love with Evangeline. I am in love with Tiana! Ooh! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! You come here, you. And I can no longer marry Miss Charlotte La Bouff. You're going to be happy together! I'll find another way to get Tiana a restaurant. You're going to have the cutest little tadpoles! I will get a job. Maybe two. Maybe three. I can't wait to tell chere! No, no, no. I must tell her. Alone. Right. You rascal! (BELL CLANGING) TIANA: Where you taking me? I just wanted to show you a little something to celebrate our last night together as frogs. (GASPS) Oh! All my years no one's ever done anything like this for me. (LAUGHS) It is too much, is it not? Thank you, Beaux. I thought it was a nice touch. Pretend you did not see that. Please, please, sit down. - What's this? - Ta-da! - You minced. - I did! You have had quite an influence on me, which is amazing because I have dated thousands of women and... No, like two, three, just other women. And anyway, listen. You could not be more different, you know? You are practically one of the guys. No, no, no. You are not a guy. Let me begin again. I'm not myself tonight. Tiana! Sorry, that was loud. - This is a disaster. - No. It's cute. (CHUCKLES) - Tiana, I... - (GASPS) There it is! Your restaurant? Can't you just picture it? All lit up like the Fourth of July. - Yes. Jazz pouring out of every window! - It should be elegant. But you got to keep it loose, though. Got to let it swing. - You know a good ukulele player? - Really? You'd let me perform? I'll talk to the owner. Owner says yes. (EXCLAIMS) Folks are going to be coming together from all walks of life just to get a taste of our food. Our food? Huh? Oh, no. My daddy. We always wanted to open this restaurant. He died before he could see it happen. But tomorrow, with your help, our dream is finally coming true. - Tomorrow? - Lf I don't deliver that money first thing tomorrow, I lose this place forever. (SIGHS) Tiana, I love the way you light up when you talk about your dream. A dream that... It is so beautiful, I... I promise I will do whatever it takes to make it come true. (BOAT HOOTING) CAPTAIN: Port of New Orleans, all ashore! I'll go round up the boys. (SIGHS) Evangeline, I've always been so sure about what I wanted, but now I... What do I do? Please tell me. (MUFFLED GRUNTING) (KNOCKIN G ON DOOR) Prince Naveen, darling. You better hurry up. Don't want to be late for our Mardi Gras wedding. Um... Getting dressed! Just a few more minutes, my dearest heart. Okay, honey lamb. We'll be waiting in the Packard. Daddy, start the car! Oh, my heavens, I'm doomed! Ow! No, Larry! I'm the one who's doomed. Unless we get that frog's blood in... (RUMBLING) (SHADOWS HOWLING) (GRUNTING) (EXCLAIMS) We are back in business, boys! Get your filthy hands off me! Lawrence! (CHUCKLING) Oh, now hold still, Your Eminence. (BOAT HOOTING) ALL: (CHANTING) Mardi Gras! Mardi Gras! ALL: (CHANTING) Mardi Gras! Mardi Gras! Ray! Have you seen Naveen? Look at you. Where the ring at? What are you talking about? Well, if Cap didn't say nothing, I ain't going to say nothing because old Ray's sealed up tight as a drum. - You ain't getting nothing out of me, no! - Ray. Okay, Cap not going to marry Charlotte, he going to marry you! Soon as he gets himself kissed and y'all both turn human, he's going to find a job, get you that restaurant... I said too much, didn't I? You said just enough, Ray! Thank you, Evangeline. (RAY LAUGHS) (LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) He was trying to propose! That's what all that fumbling was about! And here I thought all he wanted was to marry a rich girl! (RAY EXCLAIMS) What are we looking for again? You just keep your eyes out for the biggest, gaudiest float with a Mardi Gras princess about to kiss herself a... (GASPS) A frog. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here tonight in this fine celebration to join together this prince and this young woman in holy matrimony. Oh, no. This can't be right, darling. And how you can still be a frog? Mama Odie, she... (GASPS) I know what we seen with our eyes, but if we just go back that way, we're going to find out your fairy tale come true. Just because you wish for something doesn't make it true. It's like my Evangeline always said to me... Evangeline is nothing but a star, Ray! A big ball of hot air a million miles from here! Open your eyes now, before you get hurt. She just speaking out a broken heart. That's all that is. Come on, Evangeline. We're going to show chere the truth! If any of you objects to the union of these two people, (CHUCKLING WICKEDLY) Speak now or forever hold your peace. Me! Me! I object! REVEREND: Do you, Prince Naveen, take Charlotte to be your wife? Cap, what you doing, son? (SHOUTS) (GROANS) REVEREND: As you both shall live? What? I do! Yes, I'm for it. - Do you, Charlotte La Bouff... - Is that you, Cap? NAVEEN: Ray! Get me out of this box! I can't hear you! I'm going to get you out this box! ...to keep yourself only unto him, as long as you both shall live? Oh, I do. REVEREND: And so, by the power vested in me by the state of Louisiana, I now pronounce you man and... Prince Naveen! (GRUNTS ANGRILY) (CROWD EXCLAIMING) Goodness gracious! Are you all right? I just need a moment to compose myself. CHARLOTTE: Cheese and crackers! NAVEEN: Lawrence, why are you doing this? As payback for all those years of humiliation. Get your royal rump back on that wedding cake and finish this deal! What's he doing? Stop him! LAWRENCE: Give it to me! I've got it! It got me, too. - Let go of that! - Stay out of sight! (GRUNTING) Come on. Come on. (WHISTLING) (UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) Ray? Hey, why did you stop? (LOUIS ROARING) MAN: He's a real gator! (RAY SHOUTING IN FRENCH) Ray? This proves what we saw ain't what we thought we saw! - What is this? - It's a voodoo hayacall. The Shadow Man, he been using it for the... (EXCLAIMS) You can't let Shadow Man get this, no matter what! Now run, girl! Run! Don't make me light my butt! (SHRIEKING) (EXCLAIMING) I'm going to get you! I got a lot more of me! Come here, you! (LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY) Who's next? (GROANS) (SQUISHES) Ray! Ray? (GASPS) Back off, or I'm going to break this thing into a million pieces! (MOANS) (SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) Naveen? Now, isn't this a whole lot better than hopping around the bayou for the rest of your life? Shadow Man. (CHUCKLES) Got to hand it to you, Tiana. When you dream, you dream big. Just look at this place. Going to be the crown jewel of the Crescent City! And all you got to do to make this a reality is hand over that little old talisman of mine. No. This is not right. Come on now, darling. Think of everything you've sacrificed. - Girl, all you ever do is work. - I told y'all she wouldn't come. Think of all those naysayers who doubted you. You ain't never going to get enough for the down payment. ...little woman of your background, you're better off where you're at. And don't forget your poor daddy. - Now that was one hard-working man. - MAN: See you in the morning, James. DR. FACILIER: Double, sometime triple shifts. (BONES CRACKING) Never letting on how bone tired and beat down he really was. - TIANA: Daddy! - Hey, babycakes! DR. FACILIER: Shame all that hard work didn't amount to much more than a busted-up old gumbo pot and a dream that never got off the back porch. But you? You can give your poor daddy everything he ever wanted. Come on, Tiana. You're almost there. My daddy never did get what he wanted. (ALL LAUGHING) But he had what he needed. He had love. He never lost sight of what was really important. - Easy with that. Careful. - And neither will I! (CHUCKLES) (LAUGHS MALICIOUSLY) (TIANA GROANS) Y'all should have taken my deal. Now you're going to spend the rest of your life being a slimy, little frog. I've got news for you, Shadow Man. It's not slime. It's mucus! (GASPS) No! No! How am I ever going to pay back my debt? (VOODOO MASKS VOCALIZING) Friends. MASKS: (SINGING) Are you ready? No! I'm not ready at all! In fact, I got lots more plans. Are you ready? This is just a minor setback in a major operation. (SCREAMS) As soon as I whip up another spell, we'll be back in business! I still got that froggy prince locked away! I just need a little more time. No, please! (EXCLAIMING) Just a little more time! I promise I'll pay y'all back! I promise! (SCREAMING) Hush (THUNDER RUMBLING) (BELL TOLLING) Prince! Prince Naveen! Your shy and retiring bride-to-be is getting antsy! (GRUNTS) (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Hello, darling. (BOTH SCREAMING) Miss La Bouff! Please, down here! Allow me to introduce myself. I am the real Prince Naveen! (WEAKLY) Of Maldonia. (GASPS) Did you say "Prince"? Boys, drag this maggot down to the parish prison. I'm completely innocent! Now, the Shadow Man bamboozled me! Goodness gracious. This is so much to absorb. Let me see if I got this right. If I kiss you before midnight, you and Tiana will turn human again? And then we're gonna get ourselves married and live happily ever after, the end! Yeah, more or less. But remember, you must give Tiana all the money she requires for her restaurant. Because Tiana, she is my Evangeline. CHARLOTTE: Anything you want, sugar. Pucker up, buttercup. - TIANA: Wait! - Tiana? - Tiana? - Don't do this. I have to do this. And we are running out of time. I won't let you! It's the only way to get you your dream! My dream? My dream wouldn't be complete without you in it. I love you, Naveen. - Warts and all? - Warts and all. (SNIFFLES) All my life, I read about true love in fairy tales and, Tia, you found it! I'll kiss him. For you, honey. No marriage required. (BELL TOLLING) Oh, my word! Maybe that old clock's a little fast! (CHARLOTTE GROANS) Huh? I'm so sorry. LOUIS: Tiana! Naveen! (PANTING) - NAVEEN: Louis, what is it? - Shadow Man done laid poor Ray low. - Ray. - He's hurting awful bad. (GASPS) Hey, chere, - how come you're still... - We're staying frogs, Ray. And we're staying together. Oh! (SPEAKS FRENCH) I like that very much. Evangeline likes that, too. (PLAYING SOLEMN TUNE) (GASPS) (ALL GASPING) (ALL CHEERING) And so by the power vested in me, (CHUCKLES) I now pronounce y'all frog and wife. Get to it, Hop-along! Give your lovely bride some sugar! BUTTERFLY: Congratulations. (CHUCKLING IN DELIGHT) This going to be good! Like I told y'all, kissing a princess breaks the spell. Once you became my wife, that made you... A princess. You just kissed yourself a princess. And I'm about to do it again. (ALL CHEERING) (EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY) (DOWN IN NEW ORLEANS (FINALE) PLAYING) (GROWLING) (SINGING) In the south land, there's a city Way down on the river Way down on the river Where the women are very pretty And all the men deliver They got music, it's always playing They got music, it's always playing Start in the daytime Go all through the night And when you hear that music playing Hear what I'm saying make you feel all right Who would have thought the prince would've had a younger brother! How old did you say you were? I'm six and a half. Well, I've waited this long. (LAUGHING) (Singing) Grab somebody, come on down Bring your paintbrush We're painting the town There's some sweetness going around Dreams do come true Dreams do come true In New Orleans (NEVER KNEW I NEEDED PLAYING) (Singing) For the way you changed my plans For being the perfect distraction For the way you took the idea that I had Of everything that I wanted to have And made me see there was something missing Oh, yeah For the ending of my first begin And for the rare and unexpected friend For the way you're something that I'd never choose But at the same time something I don't wanna lose And never wanna be without ever again You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you were here I had no idea You're the best thing I never knew I needed So now it's so clear I need you here, always My accidental happily ever after The way you smile and how you comfort me With your laughter I must admit you were not a part of my book But now if you open it up and take a look You're the beginning and the end of every chapter You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you were here I had no idea You're the best thing I never knew I needed That I needed So now it's so clear I need you here, always Who knew that I could be Who knew that I could be So unexpectedly So unexpectedly Undeniably happy With you right here, right here next to me 'Cause you're the best thing I never knew I needed Said I needed When you were here I had no idea You're the best thing I never knew I needed So now it's so clear I need you here, always Now it's so clear I need you here always {{{ the end }}}