Talk to Me - English Transcript

Wake up, God damn it! I know it's hard. Your eyes is burning, slowly opening. You slowly realizing that this wasn't no dream. No, this is your life. Yeah, right about now you're looking at them cold walls that surround you, and you wondering, "How the hell did I get up in this joint, Jack? "And how the *** I'm gonna get out?" But you know what they say: "It's like life, y'all. "Ain't no way to it, but to do it. " So reach on up there and scratch another day off the wall, man. But don't be whining. Uh-uh. Ain't gonna be no signal fire. Just take a stand. Be a man. It's good to see you, man. And try to understand. Hey, listen, man. Listen. You ain't in here 'cause of the master's plan. No, you in here 'cause you *** up! Look, this is the *** that I've been writing you about. You dig? Yo, I was reading my court papers the other day, y'all. They say, "Ralph Waldo 'Petey' Greene versus the United States of America." I say, "***! No wonder I'm up in this ***!" So I'm gonna dedicate this next one to my baby. Man, she gonna be up here in a minute, and this gal, Lord have mercy, she's fine as frogs, yeah. So while this is playing, I want y'all to think about the one y'all love. And I'm talking about the one sends you them pictures, man, not the cat in the next bunk. I guess you're pretty hard up for entertainment around here. Yeah, man. This is prison. Whatever gets you through twenty-to-life. I got a meeting. You... You need anything? I don't need ***. Okay. Let me ask you something. Why do you even bother? Because I promised Mama. Don't do me no *** favors. Hello, Vernell. That's the *** line. Conjugal visits. Hay. Hey, Radio man! Hey! So Milo been telling you about me, huh? What? Milo. Your brother? Said y'all need a new DJ at that radio station. Hey, I'm your man. My brother wouldn't know. And in case you forgot, you're in prison. It's a minor challenge. You're a miscreant. That's more than a minor challenge. The *** this *** call me? A Miss who? A miscreant. A convict. Listen to this ***! I'm a miscreant! Well, you know what? I like that ***! 'Cause that makes me sound like a con with class. Hey, Ralph Waldo "Petey" Greene, miscreant mack at your service. You forgot "felon." "Lowlife." So do that mean I got a job or what? Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! I need you to do me a favor, sugar. Okay? I need you to go home and take this right on down to Nighthawk for me, okay? Here. Here! Come on, take it! Here! Ain't no padding in there, sweetie. You tell him it's all me, okay? Vernell. What? You don't get your *** in that room... Oh, shut up. It's just a bra. Hey, radio man! You better come on! I'm gonna look you up when I get out of here, man. Yeah? How many years you pulling? Five to ten. Nickel to a dime. It ain't ***, baby. You do that. I'm the best there is, baby. I'm the greatest! I'm the greatest of all time, baby! This is The Nighthawk Show, doing it for all those fine young things down at Howard University. The Love Hawk with you all night, rocking your radio in the nation's capital. It's 5:10 on the Sounds of Soul, the big O-L. We keep losing ground to WOOK. We can make up the lost ground on OK, sir. I mean, we have a very exciting slate. Great music, talk... Sounds good, but it's not working. What's the problem? The problem is we've lost touch with the real DC in our attempts to win over the Beltway. This has always been a station of the people and in case you forgot, most of the people don't live in Georgetown. Yeah, but the people who live in Georgetown do shop at Giant Foods and ***'s. Sponsors that pay your salary. No. I pay his salary, and yours. Maybe I should start paying your salary to him. Sir, I think... I'm serious. What do you say, Dewey? You think you can turn us around? Yes sir, I do. Good. Let's give it a try. Good afternoon, gentlemen. Sir, I just need a minute of your time, please. Hey, y'all, guess what? I found out today I ain't a con, y'all. For real. I am not a con, or a felon, or a thug. No. I am a miscreant. Now, y'all know what that is? Good morning. That's a con, brother. A felon, a thug. We ain't in prison. No, this a correctional facility. See, when you broke into that car, or shot that ***, it wasn't 'cause you a wrong-doing ***, no. No, see, you troubled, brother. You disenfranchised. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. And now... All this wordplay so that we don't have to face the truth. 'Cause the truth is, no matter how many ways you try to slice it, I'm a con. Lights out! And you a con, too. Warden's got a little ***! Warden's got a little ***! Yeah! Come on, Warden! What you got? You got that little ***? Who the hell is that man on my tower? Braxton, Poochie, sir. Ten-to-fifteen, armed robbery. Hey, Warden! You got a little, itty-bitty ***! That's right! That's you, Warden! Shoot him. Sir? Right between the eyes. I don't know if we can do that, legally. Technically, he's not trying to escape. Well, where in hell can I shoot him, then? Listen here! I want Petey Greene! You hear me, Warden? I want you to get Petey Greene out here, right now. Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! What's he gonna do? Where Petey at? Oh, yo, Petey! Yeah. Look, you got a little ***! Warden! Your ***, Warden! Look like you got quite a situation here, sir. Yes, Mr. Greene, I do. Warden's got a little ***! Can you do anything? I don't know, sir. I mean, what you got in your boxers is God's doing. Sorry, Warden, you kind of walked right into that one. Poochie! ***, what the hell are you doing up there, man? Yeah! Warden's got a little ***! Now look here, Warden. Poochie crazy. He's a good kid, but he got all *** up on that narcotic. Come on, Warden, what you got? I can get him down. Got that little ***! I can even shut him up. Come on, what you gonna do? What you gonna do, Warden? I'd be very grateful. Now, exactly how grateful are we talking about? All right. Poochie! Petey! It's Petey! Boy, if you don't come down from there and stop making all that noise, I'm gonna call your mama. I'm gonna tell her you out here acting a fool, man. Now, come on down. Poochie. Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! We take all necessary measures in support of freedom and in defense of peace in Southeast Asia. Stop the bombing, and stop the war. Come on. Petey! Yeah. Ain't this a ***? What? I can't move my legs, baby. You jiving! No. Look here, Petey. Now, you know I been with you ten years, right? Hell, nine of them you was in jail. So you know how I feel about you. But I didn't get all foxy, nails done, new dress to hear you talking about you can't move. Now, I know you're scared. Okay? Every man is scared. But baby, I'm standing here in a girdle and some tight-*** shoes, and I wanna meet me some Nighthawk! So you best to get your legs to moving and get in there and get your job. What if I ain't good enough? Hell! Every man I know ain't good enough, Petey! But even with all your ***, you the only one who is. Now, come on! Look at you! You the man with the pants! Yeah. The ***-talking, ***-walking, good-Ioving man. Oh, that's right. The mack that's the head of the Cool Cat Clan! Give me some! Preach on. And you'll be damned if you take *** from any black, yellow, green or white man. Amen! Hallelujah! Baby, did I tell you how good you look? I know! Good afternoon, good people. There he is. You wanted to meet him, go on. I can't move my legs. Hello, DC, this is Sunny Jim, coming back at you. Well, it's about time for me to go, but don't forget to come to the country fair tomorrow. I know I'd love me some cotton candy. How about you, Widget? "Oh yeah, I love it, I love it. It's sweet, it's fluffy, "and it's oh-so-satisfying!" I'm gonna leave you with the sunny, sweet, cotton-candy sounds of The Supremes. Have no fear, The Hawk is here. You're late. Oh, I'm never late. The Hawk is always right on time. Just hurry on up and get in there. What you got? Better tell these women to stop calling here for you. I'm not your social secretary. Jamming up my phones! One heifer sent her ***! Don't blame me. It's the voice. In the last six months, we've seen our numbers rise with our core audience. Nighthawk's show, as you can see, is winning in its time slot. But we need to take another serious look at our programming. We need to inject some new ideas, some new blood, some... Oh, hell, no. You all right, Dewey? Yes, sir. Anyway, the morning show... May I help you? Yeah, sweetness. Tell your boss that Petey Greene's on the scene. May I ask what this is pertaining to? I don't know what it's pertaining. Just tell him it's about my job. Go on, get on the horn, sugar. This is the Nighthawk, Taking you all the way to the midnight hour. That's my song! Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but there's a Petey Greene who wants to tell you he's "on the scene." Come on with your bad self! Sir? ...a five-dollar bill right there. What in blue blazes is going on out here? Did this *** just say "blue blazes"? He did! Who are these people? Hold it, now. Hold it, man. We got an appointment, all right? Go on, get your boss, sugar. That is my boss. No, not Blue Blazes. I'm talking about the skinny, righteous ***. Young man, there is one boss here, I am he, and we don't use that term. Hey! Well, right the *** on, man! Where you been hiding? Come on, tell your boss here about my job. What? What? Tell your boss that I'm your new DJ, man. Did you promise this fellow a job? No sir. I didn't promise him anything. Now, you is about a lying ***. You promised me a job as soon as I got out the joint. Well surprise, I'm out. You owe me. Oh my God, he's a convict. Ex-convict! I prefer "miscreant." Freda, call the police. Now, you ain't calling a ***! You know how much *** I had to run to get out of jail? I ain't never going back there, man. Now, you promised me a job, and I'm here to work in this funky joint. And ain't no way in blue blazes I'm leaving till I get what's mine. Right on! So figure it out. That's right. Sir, would you excuse us for one moment please? Would you like to come with me? Yeah. Talk to me. ***. This is my song! Girl, you can't feel that? What y'all trying to do to me and ***? Get your *** hands off of me! Have you lost your mind? Are you trying to get me fired? Man, I'm trying to get me a job! Look, I admire your determination, okay? But you do not walk in here and talk to Mr. E.G. Sonderling like that! And where the hell did you get the idea you'd be a disc jockey? From you, brother. What? I never said that. I said, "Look me up." Okay? And even if I could get you a job, it would be as a janitor, or a window cleaner, maybe. Oh, I don't do windows, Jack. I guess that kind of work is beneath a convict of your pedigree, huh? You know what, man? *** you. I thought you was real. You ain't nothing but another white boy with a tan. See, a cat come out of Hard Time, U.S.A. Looking to turn his life around... ***, I expect to get rejected by ***! So because I'm black, I'm supposed to ignore the fact that your only experience has been in jail and hire you as a DJ? You *** right. You sound just like my brother. ***, I ain't him. I'm out here trying to get what's mine. His *** is back there in Lorton, cooling his heels. But you know what? That's all right. You Sidney Poitier-*** ***, I'm gonna get what's mine. And when I do, I'm coming right back here and shove it in your *** face! Sellout! Vernell. Come on, baby, we're splitting. All right, baby. Come on. All right! Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait! One second. Wait. I'll be right back! Wait for me, okay, sugar? That Formica? Hey, you're... No, you can't go in there. You make me so hot. Bye-bye! Thank you! It was so lovely meeting all of y'all. Bring your *** on! Shut the *** up! I'm coming, God damn it! Blue Blazes, you so cute! I'm gonna take this off your hands, girl. Power to the people! Vernell! Shut up! ***! I told your *** I was coming up here to see the Nighthawk! Thanks. You're welcome, brother. Hello, brother. Democratic freedom, brother. First Amendment, baby. God bless you. Go straight to hell! Go straight to hell! WOL! WOL! WOL! WOL! Go straight to hell! Go straight to hell! You're embarrassing yourselves. WOL! You're embarrassing... You're embarrassing yourselves! Go straight to hell! WOL! WOL! Go straight to hell! WOL! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! Dewey Hughes is in bed with... Dewey Hughes is in bed with the man! There he is! Dewey Hughes is a blushing... Well, does he have blood? I don't know. Now, a righteous brother tries to better himself, make up for his mistakes... That's right! ... and WOL slams the door right in his face. Now, I ask you, is that righteousness? No! Ladies and gentlemen, WOL would never turn its back on our listeners. Our goal is to speak for and to unite the community, not divide or hurt. Did he say WOL speaks for the community? Why ain't they speaking about that black boy that got shot down by them pigs the other day? Yeah! Yeah! Do you know why? 'Cause if they did, Mr. Giant Foods may not give them any more of that green stuff. And as we know, money is always the real truth! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Hell, no! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Telephone! Petey! Petey! Petey! Let him know! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! You're late. Hey, you a little out of your element around here, ain't you, Mister Tibbs? Well, I thought you might be more comfortable in familiar surroundings. Yeah, you right. So, I wanna bring this little show of yours to an end. Well, that mean you offering me a job? No. Well, then I'm afraid the show must go on. That's entertainment talk. Listen, man, since you're here, wanna play a little game? A little 9-Ball? Sure. Call it, sugar. Heads. Please. Tails. Rack 'em, chump. Please. Wanna make it a little interesting? A little wager on it, radio man? You don't wanna just play? Ain't really playing unless you got something on the line. What do you think? About five hundred? Rolling kind of heavy for a man just out of the joint. Oh, they got a real nice savings plan. Okay. Uh-huh. I see Mr. Blue Blazes keeps you happy. I do okay. Now, this is just a side bet, you understand. Really? What you say, Tibbs? How about you play me for a career? One game, 9-Ball. I win, you get me a job down at that station. And as you know, I don't do windows. And if you lose? I leave you the *** alone. Well, then, let's play. Well, all right. I tell you what. Here's another hundred says you don't drop a ball off the break. Mister Tibbs, trying to talk a little ***! I like your style, Tibbs! Yeah, I'm gonna take some more of your money. Get him! I'm about to run this rack. You're chalking up your cue a little heavy there, ain't you? I mean, that ain't your cellmate's *** you're holding. Just for that, I'm gonna drop the nine ball off the break. ***, you couldn't drop your drawers to *** The Supremes if all three of them was lying butt-naked on this table. What's the matter, big time? You thinking about all that money lying in your lady's lap? Is that why you're sweating? Or maybe it's all that whiskey you've been sucking on. Or maybe you're sweating 'cause you know that even if you give it your best shot, you still might leave 'em standing. 'Cause this ain't Lorton anymore. This is the real world. And you ain't *** out here. Are you through? Knock 'em down, champ. All right. Come on. Come on. Baby. Yeah. There it go! Damn! Too bad, big time. I had faith in you. One ball, corner. Two ball, side pocket. Three ball, corner. See, negroes always think that if you speak correct English, or you wear clothes other than clown suits, that you're not real. Four ball, side pocket. And to you, what's real is a *** loud-mouthing, right? Telling everybody how bad he is while he's looking for a handout. Five. But you give him a chance to take what's his, and he can't sink one single ball. Six. Lucky seven! Now, you were so busy running your mouth, you never really asked yourself why I chose a pool hall to meet. 'Cause this uppity *** could never have grown up in these projects, or made his way through school hustling *** *** who thought he wasn't down. They call me Mr. Hughes. Grew up in the Anacostia projects. This con climbed the tower in the yard back in Lorton. He up there, man, he's talking real... You know, unflattering about the warden's ***. Nobody could talk this cat down. So they call Petey Greene, man, I talked this cat down in five minutes, man. Let's just say the warden was very, very grateful. Five minutes, huh? Mmm-hmm. But what the warden don't know is it took me six months to talk that crazy *** up there in the first place! Let me ask you something. Why? Why you want to be on the radio so bad that you're gonna go through all this? Oh, man, it's what I do, man. It's my thing, you know? I started off making them daily announcements back at Lorton as part of the work program, you know? A reward for good behavior. Couple years later, I convinced them to let me play this record that my Aunt Pig had sent me, a Sam Cooke record, man, A Change Is Gonna Come. That's an incredible song. She sent me that record, you know, to try and give me a little hope, and I wanted to play it for the men in them cells, you know, give them some hope. And I'm telling you, man, it's the only thing that kept me from going stone-crazy behind them walls, man. And now that I'm out, I still need that. Why should I put my *** on the line to give you a shot, Petey? ***... 'Cause Petey Greene is the real deal, Jack! ***! I swear to God, I mean, he is the sho'nuff, I mean, ***... Sorry. It's okay. See, what this pretty lady is trying to tell you is that, man, being a DJ, that's the only thing I'm good at that don't involve me breaking no law. And ***, since you here sharing a drink, I'm gonna assume that you need a man of my particular talents. Three rules. One, always know more than your audience. Two, you talk ***, you back it up. And three, don't you ever, never, ever, underestimate me again. What are you talking about, man? I'm gonna give you one more chance to knock in that nine ball. Tomorrow morning, 9:00 a.m., WOL, Studio One. Be on time. Be sober. And definitely be by yourself. You my kind of ***, Hughes! You my kind of ***, Hughes! We love you! We love you! Oh my God! We need to make a personnel change. Really? Who? Sunny Jim. You're not serious. Sir, morning shows are becoming more than just a leisurely stroll. We have to compete here. WOOK is killing us in the morning. But Sunny Jim is a DC icon! Everyone loves Sunny Jim. He's so sunny. No sir, you love Sunny Jim. Sunny Jim is a relic of a bygone radio age. We don't play Nat "King" Cole or The Drifters anymore. And our DJ's have to reflect that. That's why we have Nighthawk and Soul Papa. I'm not turning this into some kind of teenybopper American Bandstand. We're a respectable R&B station. With all due respect, sir, this is not a respectable town. This is DC. You see them out on the mall every day, protesting the so-called respectable establishment. We can't become the establishment, or they'll turn on us. Who do you have in mind? Well, sir, I found a DJ from an out-of-town station. He has a major following, and he's recently been released from his contract. Jim, come back here, please. It's nothing personal. Oh, ***! I'm sorry... Watch where the hell you're going! All right, man. Oh, no. Hey, sugar! You know the drill. Call your man. I don't think so. Let me ask you something. You ever had anybody eat your ***? Mr. Sonderling! What's wrong, Freda? Oh, God. Blue Blazes. How the radio business? I put up with your shenanigans out front for a week, Mr. Brown. Greene. All right, Mr. Green, what do you want now? I'm your DJ, man! Freda, call the police. God damn! Y'all got some hospitality issues around this ***! You're cutting it close. What can I say, man? Had to get my vine together. Your vine? Yeah. You're going on the... ***. Mr. Sonderling, this is our new morning DJ. I've been hoodwinked! Come on. You are out of your mind if you think I'm gonna put this person on the air. Sir, I know this is unorthodox... Unorthodox? It's insane! Sir, hear me out. This man has a unique voice. I just have a feeling... I have much more than just a feeling. Sir, we need to put somebody on the air in the next two minutes or we go black. Black, black, black. Freda, run after Jim, he might still be in the building! Sir, we don't have time. You're just gonna have to trust me. One show. One shot. Our morning show's already in the toilet. We don't have a thing to lose. You don't have a thing to lose! Sir, it's one minute to air, and Jim's gone. Oh, for crying out loud. It's my own fault for listening to you. All right, one show, one shot. I want you on air with him. You can introduce him. I'll be watching and listening to every word, young man. You watch your language on the air. Scout's honor. Okay. Let's go. You ready? Yeah. Okay, remember, always talk, no dead air. Talk about your cat, your car, anything, but no dead space. And watch your language. Okay. Now, you're a man of Washington, so speak to Washington, okay? Connect to Washington. Okay? Yeah. You watch your language. This is it, Ralphie. Okay. Okay. We're coming in. Okay. Let's do it. Okay. Michael, get the door. Okay, we're on in five, four, three, two, one... And hello, Washington. Welcome to your new Sound of Soul, WOL. I'm Dewey Hughes, director of programming, here to announce that Sunny Jim can now be heard at the midnight hour, after The Nighthawk Show. Today I introduce to you a new voice on the DC scene, a native of Washington, a true son of the city, and some may say, a prophet of the streets, here to spin the tunes that will blow your mind, Mr. Petey Greene. Say hello, Petey. Yeah, hello. Like the man say, this is Petey Greene. And I'm here to spin the tunes to get you through your morning. Your AM morning drive. But hell, maybe you ain't driving. Maybe you're walking. Maybe... Maybe you at work already, maybe riding a bike. But irregardless, I'm gonna play the music that's gonna keep you going, and I hope I don't bore you with... With my rambling. Say the call letters. The call letters, y'all. What the *** is going on? You didn't come here drunk, did you? Oh, ***. No, man. I ain't drunk. It's nerves, man. I'm nervous. Nerves or not, you better get your *** back in there. My *** is on the line! I don't wanna hear some *** Sunny Jim knock off. I want Petey Greene, damn it! Stop putting your *** hands on me, man! I ain't no punk, fool. Well, stop acting like one and get back in there before the song ends! Move, man. Here. Got some ***... Well, that was a little funk to get you through your morning over your yawning, put the pep in your step, and a glide in your stride. Well, over the break, I was asked to be myself. So, who is Petey Greene? Well, I got an eighth-grade education with a Ph.D. From the streets. I'm a recovering alcoholic, been sober five hours. But I ain't touched a needle in over eight years, y'all. That's right. Kicked *** dead in its ***. I been incarcerated over half my life, most recently down at Lorton. My mama been in jail for 30 years, and as we speak my daddy's pulling 21 in Alcatraz. I am an all-around hustler, and some of my best friends is pimps, *** and gamblers. But I guess that don't make me no different than Berry Gordy. And hell, that brother own a label! I'm in pretty good company. Maybe I'll own a label one day, y'all. "P-Town." So this is me, y'all. And you ain't gotta worry about me giving you nothing but the sho'nuff, 'cause that's all I know. This is P-Town, y'all. Are you out of your mind, saying those things about Berry Gordy? Oh, man, I ain't said nothing that black folk don't already know. You will apologize immediately, or I pull the plug on this whole sorry mess. Okay. What? I will apologize. Now! You said you wanted Petey Greene, man! Just apologize. Just apologize. I'm going by. I'll tell you what, man. Open the mike. Sorry I had to break in now on you ladies and gentlemen. I know you was enjoying it, too. But in all seriousness, folks, I gotta apologize about something that I said a little earlier that upset some folks. I gotta apologize to Mr. Berry Gordy for making him out to be a hustler and a ***. Mr. Gordy's a very important man, and he's done a great deal. And I love the way he takes the little brothers and sisters, broke-down runaways, the downtrodden from the projects, and he gets them off the streets. Then he puts a few dollars in their pockets, teaches them how to talk and how to walk, then sends them right back out there to bring him a whole lot of money. So I'm sorry if in any way I made him out to be a ***. That ain't pimping, y'all! That's just good old-fashioned hit-making! Studio One. So why don't we hear us another one of them good old-fashioned... Mr. Sonderling, Motown's DC rep's on the line. Yeah. And again, I sincerely apologize, Mr. Berry Gordy, from the bottom of my heart. This is Petey Greene. I'll call you back. Something like that, boss? Mr. Greene, you may have just cost me my FCC license and a whole lot more. Get out. And you obviously can't handle your new responsibility, so you don't have it anymore. Call Jim. He's back on tomorrow. Same time. What the *** was that? Motown is Hitsville, U.S.A. This is a radio station, Petey! We can't afford to have them angry with us! "We"? Did I miss something, or didn't your *** just get demoted? But hey, like Malcolm say, "When the master sick, house *** say, 'We's sick."' Oh, you're a self-righteous field ***, huh? You *** right! Well, you just lost a job, field ***! Hey, man. Hey, man! At least I know who I am. I'm Petey Greene, and I'm gonna keep talking ***! Yeah? Yeah. For all the *** you talk, you still can't sink a nine ball. We're slowing it down tonight on WOL. This is The Hawk, taking you into midnight. The Love Hawk... How many times I gotta tell you the same thing, man? Oh, man! It's all about Motown, baby. Motown! That *** this morning? He was telling the truth! Come on, man, Berry Gordy ain't no ***. ***! You see, the problem with trying to be somebody y'all... You telling me a *** in America, with that much money... Why not? You're ignorant. Oh yeah? You're just telling it like it is, just like Petey Greene. No, I'm telling you. Why you think they snatched him off the air so fast if he wasn't telling the truth? C- O-N-spiracy. See, you're right about the con part. That's why they took his black *** off the air. Berry Gordy is a stand-up brother. Don't nobody want to hear some con talking mess about somebody like Berry Gordy. Right. Come on. I would rather listen to a con than this sucker-for-Iove-*** ***. Petey Greene was cool, but that white boy that was with him... Oh, God! You okay? Yeah. Guys, drinks are on me, okay? See that, now, I could get with that. Thank you, my brother. Thank you, my brother. Yo, bartender. Thank you. Right on. How much you leaving, man? Hey, hey. Keep it coming. Right on, Kevin. You ready to shake up the world, radio man? Let me ask you something, man. Why, huh? Why should I put my *** on the line for you? Why should I give up all this right here and take a chance on you? I guess I need you to say the things I'm afraid to say. And you need me to do the things you're afraid to do. Damn, that was deep. Yeah. It was, wasn't it? Yeah. It was good, man. You should put that *** on a greeting card. Go on, chump. Rack them. See if I can't teach you something. Yeah. Hey, Jim. I just wanna apologize about what happened and welcome you back. Come on, let's not fight. We still gotta work together. Fan mail. That's great. I'm gonna get some coffee. You want some? Come on, Jim. Black. Two sugars. Okay. Okay. Dewey! Hey! Is Jim in his office? No, I just checked. He's probably in the men's room. You go get him. I'll stall in there for a couple of minutes, okay? I thought that kind of work was beneath you. Hey, doing this *** is how I got thrown in the joint in the first place. Well, then this should feel good. You're on in five! Wake up, God damn it! Petey Greene is back on the scene! And this ain't Washington DC. No, this is P-Town! Did you miss me? Well, I missed y'all, too. Had to cut it a little short yesterday. Man, I don't know who's worse, though... Freda, help! I'm locked in my office! See, a *** get a little money in his pocket, and now we can't talk about it no more? Shoot! Look here, man... Freda! Excuse me, I seem to be locked in my office. Could you give me a hand, please?... I'm on the air, which may not be much longer, so I'm gonna go on ahead and get my money's worth. They're gonna have to take my title, just like they did Ali. And see, that's what I'm talking about right there. Freda! A black man can only say so much in this so-called free country, till they break you down. Well, guess what? I'm telling it. That's right, and I'm gonna keep on telling it. Some of it you're gonna like, some of it you ain't. If you got something to say, give me a call. If you disagree, tell me like a man. Dewey, have you lost your mind? Open this door right now! Even if you're a woman. Mr. Greene, sir, you are trespassing! I'm tired of hearing fools complaining in barber chairs and beauty shops. Let your opinion out. Come on and give me a call at this station. The number is 215-JK5-0199. Somebody tell Freda to call the cops. That number again, 215-JK5-0199. Dewey, this is outrageous. Open the door! And now, old Petey gonna play a little non-Motown for you. Dewey, open this door. You're both in trouble. Do you hear me? You are in real trouble, mister! Come on. Come out of there right now. I'm not kidding! Dewey, you're not... WOL. Yeah. Yeah. Putting you through. Talk to me. Is this Petey Greene? Sure is. Petey, didn't I see you last week down at the strip club on 14th Street? Oh, yeah, I was down there. Wasn't to see no show. But that don't mean I mind the company of shake-dancers. No. My girl, Vernell, she used to be shake-dancer. She has a bar down there now. What do you think you're trying to prove? Yeah, I had to go over there... WOL....and we'll talk about this, do you hear me? That's right. Putting you through now. Look, don't touch! Again. Talk to me. Petey, I agree with you, man. All them record guys are pimps, just like most lawyers and politicians. You give them all hell! You know I will. Do you hear me? Come on. Dewey! No, no, no, no. Put it straight through on the board. Line three. On the board. Dewey? Talk to me. What you think about that kid being killed by the pigs last week? I'll tell you what I think. Black folk life ain't worth nothing. One day, black folk ain't gonna take that no more and when that day happens... Do you realize what you've done? Are you trying to ruin me? Hot mike, man. Oh, for crying out loud. I'm sorry, sir, it was the only way. You just let this fellow ruin your career. You're finished, Dewey. You're making a mistake, sir. You can't see it, but I can. If you throw us out, we're gonna walk straight over to WOOK. Good! That will help our ratings. Gentlemen, will you kindly escort these men out of the building? Sir? I've been trying to call the police, but all our lines have been flooded. What? The operator can't handle the volume, sir. Are these listener calls? I think so. Wait a minute. Good morning, WOL. Yes, ma'am, he is, but I'm afraid he's real busy right now. You know, we're getting a lot of calls. Yes ma'am, I will, and thank you. Keep listening. Morning music and a talk show, with a man of the people. Because WOL is a station of the people, for the people, by the people. I'm the people. He'll be a hit, sir. I promise you that. All right, thank you all. Everything's fine here. Let's all get back to work. Thank you again. The next time you decide to make a personnel change, at least put it in a memo. Hold it. You can't give this thug a job. Man, I got your thug right here. Ten inches. Oh, for heaven's sake. Be cool, Jim. What? We'll talk. We'll talk, okay? I want him on a short leash. A very short leash. And I want a morals clause in your contract. Fine, man, whatever. I'll sign it. Just let me get back to work, okay? Jim, wait up. Can I get back to work? All right. But you watch your language. All right! And you keep an eye on him. Thank you, sir. All right, let's get busy here. I love that song! Reminds me of summertime on the beach trying to get some foxy coed to rub some lotion on me. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Well, in case you been asleep at the wheel, this is Petey Greene. Hello, caller, what's your name? And you ain't in Washington, DC no more, Dorothy. No, this is P-Town. All right, Tom, please hold. Hello, caller, what's your name? WOL-AM. Hello, James. My granny, I call her Aunt Pig, Aunt Pig say, "Petey, why you always in jail?" I tell her I don't know. "I don't know, Aunt Pig." Then one day I read my indictment papers, they say, "Ralph Waldo Greene versus the United States of America. " I said, "Damn! No wonder I ain't been winning!" He's talking about... And I don't care what nobody say, ain't nothing like a black woman. Now, that ain't to say I ain't dabbled before. I mean, I dabbled, man, I'm a good old dabbler. But give me a sister with big hips, big legs and a big old 'fro, and you ain't got to worry about me no more. Hey, hey, hey! Fan mail. How many for The Hawk? Three? Sorry. Gave you one of Petey's. Y'all listen everyday, huh? Ain't you, now! Check it out. Yeah. Talk to me, Petey! Talk to me! Talk to me! Want me to talk to you? I'll talk to you. God damn it! Oh, baby. Let me explain. I'm listening. Girl, put the bottle down and let me talk to you. Go on, Petey. I'm listening. "Talk to me, Petey. Talk to me, baby." Ain't what the *** said? You tell this *** how I was the only one to give your sorry *** a place to stay when you had nowhere else to go. Tell this ***! She took me in. I cleaned your clothes, and I cooked your food, ***! Oh, ***. Okay! Okay! Vernell, please. Baby, listen, now. Don't do this. You don't wanna do this here. Hold on. Listen, I'm sorry. I *** up. Yeah, you *** up. I did. I *** up. I know it, baby. I know it. And I ain't trying to make no excuses for it. But you don't wanna do this here. Vernell. Come on, baby, put the bottle down. Get out. ***, didn't you hear? I said get out! This is my joint. I don't give a ***, Petey! Get out! Let me put some drawers on or something. Get the *** out! Don't make me say it again, ***. I swear to God, I don't wanna get more upset than I already am with this bottle and get jumpy and cut your *** off. You'll be sounding like Frankie Lyman on the radio. Get the *** out! All right. Get out. I'm leaving. Vernell! Baby... Help a *** out, now. Come on. Come on, man. You gotta be *** me. Look at me, man! I don't want to look at you! I wanna get this image out of my head. Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, listen. Now, Vernell kicked me out the house. Caught me *** some other broad, man. I ain't got nowhere else to go. You should have thought about that before you let your snake out the cage. Listen, man, my snake's been incarcerated! I've been jacking off to girlie magazines for nine damn years. Come on, you telling me you gonna pass up some fine-*** woman just throw her *** all up on your face? Hey, Dave. Hey, Dave! Get in here. Come on. Just helping out... My *** deuce! Susan, this is Petey Greene. His girlfriend kicked him out, so we gotta... I'll leave you two alone. No, no, no, no, baby. No, no, there's no need for that. You... Just... Is this what you mean by taking your work home with you? Being married to your career? Listen, listen... I should have known. Come on, help me out here. No, no, no, no, no... Hey! Damn! Man, ain't that a ***? Women, man. I'm telling you. I've been loving you... too long, Vernell to stop now You are... Shut the hell up, man. Put that on! I'm sorry, Dewey. I *** up, man. Oh, ***. I *** up, didn't I? ***. Just... Just give her a chance to cool off, man, and then you'll talk, okay? She don't wanna talk to me. She mad at me. She loves you. She loves you, okay? Yeah. Okay? Yeah. Yeah. You're a good friend, Dewey. Okay. You're a good friend. Yeah. Yeah, it's... Okay, man. Thank you, man. Okay! Okay! Okay. Come on. Okay. Get some sleep. Get some sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning, Dewey. Tomorrow. Okay. In the morning, man. Crazy little... ***. Oh, man. I appreciate, you know, you letting me stay at your place again, bro, but... Come on, man. Good night, sir. Gonna have to give me some more threads. I can't... I'm not giving you any more of my clothes. Man... Good night, Mike. Good night. Good night, Jim. Good night. "Night, Jim. "Have a nice weekend." I don't talk like that. Yeah, you talk exactly like that. And you walk like you got a stick broke off in your ***, man. I walk with confidence, like Johnny Carson. You could learn something from him. Good night... Those are my gators, man. This all my... Is she still here? Now we're even. Oh, no, she didn't. Hold on. Hold on. No, she... You don't understand. Calm down, Petey. Move, Dewey, move! Calm down. You enjoy yourself, ***? Don't blame me. It's the voice. Oh, is it? Oh, ***. Okay, hold on, now, let me... Mr. Sonderling! Mr. Sonderling, he tried to kill me! He tried to kill me. I'm gonna need you on the air, right away. What is it? Once again, this just in. Oh, man... Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., winner of the Nobel Peace Prize and chief orchestrator of the Civil Rights Movement, was shot and killed by an assassin's bullet outside a Memphis motel this evening. They got him, y'all. They got him. Only 39 years old, Dr. King leaves behind his wife, Coretta, and... I'm sorry, y'all. I'm just tired of this. I don't know if I'm more sad or angry. I'm tired of them taking our leaders! I know you are, too. This is WOL, 1450 AM. They're burning down DC. What? They're burning it down. They're burning it down. Come on! Come on! My store. My store! Hold it! Hold it, man! Get out of here, man! Come on! Come on! No, stop. Stop! Stop! Stop it, man! Y'all! Run! Thank you. Now, go on. Go on. I got to get back on the air, man. I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight, that we as a people will get to the promised land! Coming to you, Petey, in five, four, three, two... Yeah, buddy, it's a dark day in America. Got to be one of the darkest days I ever seen, and I seen more than most. WOL. Yeah, hold for Petey. In Washington, this is Petey Greene. Talk to me. It can't go down like that, Petey. Somebody's gonna have to pay, I'm gonna tell you right now, somebody gonna pay tonight. I know you're hurting. We all hurting. He the only one we had, Petey. I know how angry you are. You want revenge, you want that quart of blood, and I don't blame you. But I want y'all to just go take a look out your windows. I mean, those of you that got them. Just take a look outside and tell me what you see. You see a city on fire. Now, that's your city. Our city. And that's not what Dr. King would have wanted. Now, I ain't nothing, man, I ain't nothing but a con and a thief. So I ain't up here trying to be nobody's preacher. I'm just trying to tell the truth to y'all, like I promised I would, and the truth is, I went to jail 'cause I was a knucklehead. Dr. King went to jail for what he stood for, fought for, and died for. And this ain't it, y'all. This ain't it. The man was a giant. Now, if they could do that to him, don't think for a minute they won't cut you down like a dog, too. So look here. If you at home, please, just stay home. And if you out in these streets, man, go home. Put your anger away till we can sort all this mess out. I ain't saying I know how we gonna do it. I just know that we will. We shall overcome. Hold on a second, now. Petey, there's a free concert tomorrow night. You and James Brown, Georgetown University. Okay, I've just been told that tomorrow night, Mr. James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, is gonna be giving a free show, that's capital-F-R-E-E, at Georgetown University. Bring your heartache, bring your anger, just bring all that to me, and we gonna work it out together. We gonna get through this, people. WOL. Hold for Petey. Talk to me. Petey, I just keep crying and crying. I just... WOL. Yeah, hold for Petey. Well, the clock on the wall says it's time to go. That's the end of my show, and there ain't no more. But before I go, I wanna leave y'all with this. "The ultimate measure of a man "is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, "but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy." And no, those ain't words of advice from old Petey Greene. Those are pearls of wisdom from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Like the brother said, I'm Petey Greene. Good evening, Washington, and welcome to P-Town! I'm happy you could make it. I'm glad you could show. But the government's the most happy, 'cause y'all ain't burning down *** no more. On my way over here, this white man say, "Mr. Greene, why them *** lose their mind "and burn their *** down that way?" He called me "mister," but called us "***." I say, "Hey, we ain't the ones that pulled that trigger! "And if you keep calling us ***, "your mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers "gonna have to call the grave digger. " I say, "Mr. Charlie, "I ain't seen no *** last night. "I saw a bunch of beautiful, angry black folk, down for the fight. " But I'm here to tell y'all, we ain't filled with hate. And the killing of our great King ain't gonna seal this kingdom's fate. We're gonna pray together... Yeah! ... stay together... Yeah! ... jump up and sing... Yeah! ... as we celebrate the memory of Dr. Martin Luther King! Now I want y'all to give a big old P-Town welcome to a bad ***. Oh, he's a bad, bad man! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage the hardest-working man in show business, Mr. James Brown! Look here, baby. You gonna open me whenever I come to town. James Brown! Do your thing, yo! Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud But I say we won't quit moving till we get what we deserve I worked *** a job with my feet and with my hand But all the work I did was for the other man Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud ... in Washington, faced with angry, disgruntled citizens of the United States, while the flag flew at half-mast for Martin Luther King. Amid the chaos today, two local radio broadcasters, Dewey Hughes and Petey Greene are being credited with restoring calm to the nation's capital. Now, DC is Chocolate City, y'all know that's right. Now they wanna keep us down, 'cause they afraid of what's gonna happen if we stand up. Why do you think they send our boys off to war instead of keeping them in school, where they can learn to score? Yeah! Yeah! Because the white folk know that if we stand tall, oh, buddy, we gonna have something called Black Power, y'all! Right? All of y'all look beautiful today. Psychologist asked me what I thought about the word "***." I said... Lady, "***" is the greatest stress reliever ever invented. See, white man say "***," he ready for a six-month hibernation, am I right? But, see, a black man, he could say "honkey," "ofay," "cracker," "peckerwood" a million times, still wanna go out there and kill somebody. You're gonna to have to tone it down, Petey. I've got the FCC all over my rear. Well, with all due respect, sir, the FCC can kiss my ***. I ain't saying nothing but the truth. As long as the people wanna hear it, I'm gonna keep telling it. I'm gonna talk it on the radio, and I'm gonna talk it on the streets. I'm gonna talk it to the police, and even that sucker, Tricky ***! This is P-Town, baby. Talk to y'all tomorrow. Now, that was a good one, Dew. That was a great show, Petey. Right on. That was a great show. Look at them. They're still calling. Oh man, what a day. That was a hell of a day. Thank you, man. Man, you're incredible, you know? I just see the things you do, the effect you have on people... It's amazing to me. You got a gift. You know? Something people like me could only dream of. I think you could go all the way. Let me be your manager. Let me guide your career. I'm talking stand-up, records, TV, movies... I want the whole world to be a part of P-Town. Well, I don't think the whole world is ready for a *** like me. Well I think you're wrong. I think the world's been waiting for a *** like you. What you say? All right. All right. You ladies ever been to vote? How you doing, young brother? Okay, vote for Shirley Chisholm. Shirley Chisholm for President, 1972. Over here, young man. Is your mom registered? Are you registered? Now the judge say, "Petey Greene, "why you rob everybody in the house?" I said, "Well, your honor, they all seemed like such nice people, "I didn't want anybody to feel left out. " And I'm looking out amongst y'all, and there's some good old robbing *** out here tonight. Watch your purse, baby. Well, I'm looking at the dates right now. I got him at the Howard Theater then the Crystal Room. He's booked. Well, I can get you a time next month. Can't wait? Y'all see the paper this morning, P-Town? Say "Petey Greene goes to the White House and steals some silverware." Now, come on, that don't make no damn sense. Imagine that, a *** like me, ex-con, get invited by the President to the White House, and I'm gonna run up in there and take something? Come on, y'all. I ain't that crazy. Well that's all we got. There ain't no more. My time is tight, and that's the end of my show. So grab your head and make a fist. Listen to me and remember this, I tell it to the hot, I tell it to the cold. I tell it to the young, I tell it to the old. Don't want no laughing, don't want no crying. And most of all, no signifying. Tune in next week. This is Petey Greene's Washington. Be cool, y'all. And we're out! We're clear! Great show, everybody. Great show. We're good here. We love it. We'll pick you up for 26 episodes. Congratulations. Thank you, sir. They loved it. They loved it. Local, then national. We did it, man! What? I know it sounds crazy, man, but I... I kind of miss that little old radio station back at Lorton, man. And I know it wasn't nothing but a room and a turntable with about 58 records in crates, but I... Pete, you're... You're a different man now, okay? You're not gonna be... You're not going to be defined by your prison time. Not you, Petey! This is Petey Greene. Oh, we got a good one for you tonight. My guest is the funniest man I know besides me, Mr. *** Gregory. How you doing, ***? My guest tonight is Reverend Jesse Jackson. Now what is the state of the dream, Rev? You see, I've always had a special gift for making people angry. "P.O.P." Pissed-Off People. Man, sometimes I feel like I should have a Ph.D. In P.O.P. And ain't that a wonderful expression, y'all? "Pissed off"? As opposed to what, man? "Pissed on"? Speaking of which... I gotta apologize again. Now, I know some of y'all heard that I lost my mind last night. Or as my Aunt Pig would say, "Boy, you're crazy!" And I was, too. I was, I ain't lying. See, I drank about four gallons of Cold Duck, and then I just walked right up on stage and started ***, just... Didn't even bother grabbing it, just walked and... Started skipping with it. I said... By the time I was through, the stagehand was drunk. And we had a whole row of white folk too, all the way across. Real important people, now. We talking about the big shots, you know, the muckety-mucks. Not like you, sir, but... I'm telling you, them crackers dropped dead right on the spot. All of them. Looked like a row of albino dominoes, just... Judge say, "Mr. Petey Greene, we charging you with using your *** "as a lethal weapon. Now how do you plead?" I said, "Your Honor! Not guilty, Your Honor, not guilty! "Come on now, I don't want no parts of this. I use my *** to make love, not war! "*** only look lethal to white folk. " Good evening, Petey. This is Petey Greene's Washington. Okay, let's try that again. For what? You said, "Good evening, Petey Greene. This is Petey Greene's Washington. " No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. Dewey, I didn't say... That's some stupid ***. How many times have we been doing this show? I'm gonna say some stupid *** like that? Come on, man. Okay, my mistake. I didn't say, "Good evening, Petey." That's stupid. Okay, let's try it again. Please. Are you ready? Born so. Good evening... Okay, let's try it again. Let's try it again. See what you did? I *** up, is what I did! Yep. I gotta stop drinking. God damn! Maybe. Good evening, Washington. My guest tonight is a *** that I wouldn't trust to wash my car, but y'all done elected him city official... Cut! Jesus Christ, Petey! What? Freda! I love my job! I love... Where's Petey? Where's Petey, huh? Lay it on me, now! Lay it on me! Right on with the right-on! You're not gonna believe what's happening. You're not gonna believe it, man. Was it Free *** Day or something? You are looking at the baddest manager on the planet. You, my man, are doing The Tonight Show. Next Tuesday, New York City, live and in living color. They had an act cancel on The Tonight Show, baby! You, me, Carson. This is it, my man. Yeah. This is that moment that I've been telling you about. Yeah. Yeah! Yeah, that's great, man. Yeah. Yeah? "Here's Petey!" Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. New York, New York, y'all. Like they say. If you make it here... I'll be a ***-*** ***. There it is. Dewey Hughes? Yes, sir. Fred De Cordova. I know. Glad you could make it on such short notice. If you called us twenty seconds ago, sir, we would have been here. And you must be Petey. Hey. Heard a lot about you. Johnny's looking forward to hearing your routine. Well, I just hope I don't disappoint him. Oh, you'll be fine. Oh, that's Vernell. Hi. So, dry run's at 10:00, we're live at 11:30. Hi! Oh, thank you. No, no, please... That's very interesting. Oh, no! Hey. Don't worry. Everyone does it. Should've seen Elvis. Really? Picking up some cable noise from boom 1. Yeah. Yeah. So Bette's going to do two songs, eh? Bette Midler? You should see all the food... Would you two relax? Carson's gonna give you the thumbs-up, he's gonna sit you down, and then you are gonna be a star. Yeah, well, I don't know about that, dude. I don't know if I'm ready, is what I'm trying to tell you. Bette Midler to the stage, please. Bette Midler to the stage. You're ready. And in exactly 30 minutes, this whole country is gonna know what I already know. That Petey Greene is the baddest comic in America. Just keep it real, like you do, you'll be fine. Excuse me. Yes, sir? Where's the green room? Oh, sure thing, sir. Just follow me. It's only New York, baby. Just a suburb of P-Town. Relax! Over here, to your left. Thank you. Dewey! Yeah? You have to get him out of this, man. What? Are you nuts? Listen to me, Dewey. I know that man. Hell, you know that man. And I know you saw that look. I didn't see ***. I saw nerves. Dewey, baby. I know how important this is to you. He does, too! That's the only reason why he's here! To me? It has nothing to do with me. ***, Vernell. ***! I mean, Cosby, Gregory, Pryor, they've all been on that stage. What comic in the world doesn't want to be on The Tonight Show? You see, he ain't a comic. He ain't a comic, he ain't a television personality, he ain't a civic leader! He's just a regular-*** *** from DC who... He's just a regular-*** *** from DC who likes to run his mouth. And for some reason, people respond! Vernell? Vernell, you're wrong, okay? Look where we are. Look where we are. He doesn't want to be here, Dewey. I can see it in his eyes. Just keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn't leave that room. Okay? Petey? Oh, no! No, Petey. McMAHON.: From New York, The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. This is Ed McMahon, along with Doc Severinsen and the NBC Orchestra, inviting you to join Johnny and his guests, Gig Young, Joe Garagiola, Bette Midler, Los Indios Tabajaras, and comedian Petey Greene. And now, here's Johnny! Make sure you're watching him. We'll be right on after Bette Midler. Yeah. He's gonna be the greatest thing to ever hit The Tonight Show. Hi, I'm Johnny, and if you have a few hours a week, you could be a Big Brother to somebody like me. Move. Did you see him? Did he come out? No, sir. Petey? Petey! Thank you! You're hot! You're hot! You know, I said it before when you were first on the show, and I mean it. I said, "You are going to be someone to contend with. "You're going to be a big star in this business, "because you are unique, and you're different. " Hey, man. ***! Petey, where have you been? I'm here, ain't I? All righty, we're back. Now, ladies and gentlemen, from Washington, DC, Petey Greene. Y'all gonna have to forgive me if I'm a little nervous, I just ain't never been in front of this many white folk before. I know my manager, Dewey, is backstage right now about to have a heart attack, saying, "Oh Lord, please don't let this fool go out here and say something crazy." But he knows I always speak the truth. Yeah. Well, the truth is, I'm just an ex-con, y'all. And the people that live in the world that I come from, well, most of them can't even afford TVs. They listen to me on the radio, and they do that because I keeps it real. When they out there laughing, I know they laughing with me, not at me. But I look out here at y'all, and all I see a room full of white folk waiting to hear some *** jokes. I ain't got nothing to say to you people. Y'all ain't ready for P-Town. Sorry, Johnny. I was being real, Dewey. You ***! No! Dewey! *** you, man! *** you! What the *** you doing? *** you, man! *** you! You know, as far as jails go, this one ain't too bad. Dewey, man, I'm sorry, man. Get the *** away from me, man. Look here. I ain't never asked for this ***. All I ever wanted to do was my little thing on the radio. All this other ***, this Tonight Show, come on, man. That ain't me. I tried to tell you that. The whole *** world was yours. I could've taken you right to the top. But you just *** it up. You're nothing but a con. That's all you'll ever be, just like Milo. Just another no-good, low-life con. I ain't your brother, man. I also ain't the one got us thrown in here tonight. That was you. So if I'm a con, baby, you a con, too. You two. You got bailed. Quit trying to change me, Dewey. Hey, baby, let's just go home. Carnac is attempting to divine an answer while you're sitting here, giggling. May I have silence, please? Yes. You've had it many times before. What the ***? You don't need Petey Greene. You've got your own voice. You've been on leave for months, and our ratings are in the toilet. But you want to came back now and take a shot as a DJ? Morning, DC, this is Dewey Hughes, with a morning jam for your traffic jam. Or if you're one of a whole lot of folks that can't afford to fill your tank, or don't even have a car to put that jacked-up gas in, give me a call. I'm here for all y'all. So whether you're in your car, at work, at home, or pissed off at the pump, pump up the volume and give me a shout! The woman said, "Listen, "if you think I'm gonna gargle with that *** after she's through washing her ***, "you out of your mind." Congratulations. Well, DC, it's Sunny Jim... ...Sounds of Soul. I mentioned Oliver North... If you want to let it out, you give me a shout. R&B hits from the '70s and '80s. This is The Cathy Show... Good morning, DC, this is WOL. I'm Dewey Hughes, rocking you to work this morning, so take your hand off the horn and turn up the volume, 'cause at WOL, we love music. Talk to me, Ralph! Wake up, God damn it. That's right, DC. Ralph Waldo "Petey" Greene is back on the scene. Morning, everybody. Hey, congratulations on your show, there, Dewey. Man, I gotta tell you, I never would've believed it, but you turned out to be one hell of a DJ, man. What you in the mood for, Petey? Why don't you play me some of that old Sly Stone? If You Want Me To Stay. Hung up. It's all right. What's your job, man? What's your job, man? I'm sorry, man. Screen the calls! Shut up! Screen the calls! God. One minute. How much is it? Priceless, but the pizza's on me. I ran into the delivery guy in the hall. Nice! So I hear you're the man up in here now. Cathy Show was a hit. I bought the station. Congratulations. Is that enough milk? Oh, that's fine, honey. To your success. Aren't you gonna ask me how he is? How is he? Come on, Dewey. He helped you build this place. You can say his name. How's Petey? Well, you know, all those years of hard living'll catch up to you one day. His time is tight. He misses you. You see this show? My whole *** life is this show. I learned to walk, talk and dress watching The Tonight Show. I can tell. It showed me that there was a world far away from the Anacostia projects. He reminds me of my brothers. Loud-*** ***-talkers. Funny as hell. Always had me cracking up. Milo was the funniest. He was my hero. He could say anything, do anything. He could've been a... Well, he's at Morgan's every Tuesday night, waiting for somebody to give him a good game. Thanks for the drink. I love you, Dewey. You take care of yourself, okay? Tails. So you the new Blue Blazes, huh, man? That's right. You sure did it, Dewey. Took that little old two-bit radio station and turned it into a powerhouse, man. I couldn't have done it without you. No. I could've never did that *** you did. Like you said, Dew, I needed you to do all the things that I was too afraid to do. What about the other part? What other part? The part when I said that I need you to say all the things that I'm afraid to say. Oh, that part. Not now. Well, the truth is, you ain't getting no younger, man. So I decided I'm gonna cut you some slack. Go on and forgive you. Forgive me. I love you like a brother, man. I know you love me, too. Now, you too stubborn to say it, but I think you miss old Petey Greene. So I'm gonna give you one last shot. That's deep. Yeah it was, wasn't it? I might put that in a card someday. Good shot, Petey. Everybody come back to the shop with their eyes *** up... Stop it! I ain't nothing, man, I ain't nothing but a con and a thief. So I ain't up here trying to be nobody's preacher. I'm just trying to tell the truth to y'all, like I promised I would. Petey liked to say that he was just a con. Telling it like it is. But he was more than that. He said the things that we were afraid to say. I'm sorry, man. He was the bravest man that I ever met. He was, and still is, everything I'm not. And that's why I love him. Yeah. So, in the words of my best friend, "That's all we got. Yeah! "There ain't no more. That's right! "Time is tight. "It's the end of the show. "So grab your head and make a fist. " "Listen to me and remember this. " ...and remember this. I tell it to the hot, I tell it to the cold. I tell it to the young, I tell it to the old. Don't want no laughing, don't want no crying. And most of all, no signifying. "...no signifying!" This is Petey Greene's Washington, ladies and gentlemen. This is P-Town! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Petey! Be cool, y'all. Wake up, God damn it! Shirley Chisholm for President, everybody! Vote Shirley Chisholm for President, 1972! Why do you think they send our boys off to war? Look here. I ain't never asked for this ***.