Jennifer - English Transcript

[Funk music] ♪ ♪ - So I had this ten-year plan for myself, and my life was right on schedule. I was up for senior v.P. Today, and I had a pretty good feeling about it. - We have to let her go. Half of her clients won't work with her. - She's going to yell. I hate it when she yells. Makes me look weak. - You wanted to see me, don? - Hey, there she is. You look fantastic. - Thanks. Having a great day. - Well, it's early. - What? - Jennifer, I respect you too much to pussyfoot around. I'm just going to say it straight out. Clay? - We're letting you go. - But...Senior v.P. - You have anger issues. Frankly, it's something that's followed you your whole career. - I don't have anger issues! Who says I have anger issues? - She's yelling. Jennifer, you are very good at your job, but... [Chuckles] You have a personality problem. You're aggressive, you're cocky, you take no prisoners. - Qualities that get men promotions. - And then you say hurtful things like that. - Unbelievable. - Hey, you know, take the rest of the day off. Go to the zoo. They have these baby pandas. They'll just melt your heart. - Um, the mother ate her babies. - What? When? [Door opens] Oh, come on in. Jennifer, you know Connie from h.R. And Larry from security. They're here to make sure you don't shoot the place up. [Both laughing] Right, guys? But seriously, you should go now. - Yeah. - Don, you handled that beautifully. - I felt good. I felt strong. - You know what, if you're gonna fire me for my anger issues, I might as well get my money's worth, don. Nobody gives a rat's *** what you shot at pebble beach. All the assistants are creeped out by your rapey backrubs. You are weak, lazy, hog all the credit, take none of the blame, and your breath smells like ***. We carpooled. - Oh, that's right. It's Tuesday. - I can take a cab. - No, no, no. I mean, you're on the way. - Great. - [Exhales] - So it's been six months, and I've gotten really close on a lot of jobs, but apparently, blackballing is a real thing. The good news is, I'm getting a lot of helpful feedback. Evidently, the men in the industry find me terrifying, but all the women find me inspiring and also terrifying. But hey, I'm going to be fine. I mean, I'm still confident, still strong, still-- excuse me. Unbeatable. [Upbeat music] ♪ ♪ - Mom, you're not listening. I don't want to live at grandma's. How are we broke? You made so much money. - Yeah, but we spent so much more. Mom, please don't make a fuss. - So we have nothing? - Oh, no, we still have mountains of debt. Mom, you're not listening! - Are you going to be drunk the whole time we're there? - It's looking that way, sweetie. Mom, please promise me you're not going to throw a party. - She's back! - Hey. All: Hi! - [Laughs] It's a party. [Whispers] What are you doing? - Well, I know you said no party, but it's just family and friends, very low-key. [LA cucaracha playing] - A mariachi band? - This close to cinco de Mayo, it was such a coup to get them. - Look, mom, I really appreciate you taking us in, I do, but this isn't really a party day for me. I mean, I can't get a job, I am upside down in my house, I burned through all my savings, and now I've got LA cucaracha in my head! - Sounds like somebody needs a Margarita. - No, mom, that is so not what I'm saying. I j--no salt! Please. Salt. Hey, Wayne. - Hey, sis. Quit screwing around, dude. - Jennifer! [Gasps] How's your anger? - Great, Steph. How's your passive aggression? - [Laughs] You're so funny. Wayne and I were both so sick about what happened to you. You lost everything? - I did. - Ugh, that beautiful house in Santa Monica that blocked everybody's view. - Lost the house. - Gorgeous condo in Maui that we only saw in pictures. - Mm, condo's gone. - Oh, and that hockney print that you didn't even light properly. - [Grunts] - That's three, Wayne. - What, but I didn't even-- - next! - This isn't over, Conner. Babe, will you please get me a drink? - Okay. Just don't talk about the eviction till I get back. [Laughs] - Give me that. Cannot believe I'm back home living with mom. Soon as I make some money, I'm out of here. - You can always come to work for me at the bar. You make your own hours. We have health care. - Wait, you have health care? - [Laughs] No, come on, we don't even have a first aid kit. - Okay, why the hell not? Thanks, bro. - Wow, I'm gonna be your boss. - Oh, my God, I feel like such a loser. - Oh, come on, you're not a loser. Just 'cause you're back living with mom and you got fired and you're blackballed and humiliated, you have no money. You used to be rich. There are plenty of people out there who will never make what you lost. - [Grunts] [Grunting] Hey, kids. Want, um-- you want some candy? There's a lot of candy here. - Morning, mom. - Good morning. It's so good to have you back, honey. - Thanks, but you know I'm not back back. It's just for a few weeks. - A few weeks, forever. We don't have to define it. - [Chuckles] Mmm. Bacon waffles? - Mm-hmm. - Okay, forever. [Laughter] Is there anybody in the neighborhood left from the old days? - Let's see. Mike Dorfman is living in his mom's garage, has it fixed up real cute. He runs his own computer repair business, and he's still single. - It's like a fairy tale. - Oh, and I ran into your old friend Dina simac at the grocery store last week. - Dina? - Yeah. I asked her over for dinner. - Oh, my God! I have missed her so much. I love Dina. You know, we haven't seen each other in a really long time. She is exactly what I need right now. - She doesn't want to see you. - What? Why? - I didn't ask. It's not my place. - Wow. - Did you eat cheese last night? [Billiard balls clinking] - Okay, put my self-respect in the locker. Where do I start? What? - Life is funny. You used to babysit me, and now I'm your boss. The paths we take. - Yeah. - Let me show you how to pour a draft. Now, the trick is-- - [Laughs] I was a v.P. For a fortune 500 company. I can pour a beer. - Okay. - Okay, here is your glass of... Foam. - Wow. - Sorry about that. That one is on me. - That's okay. - Okay. [Chuckles] - Hello, girls. - Hey! Just because I'm wearing this little sports-*** outfit does not mean I'm gonna put up with crap from jerks like you, you got it? - Got it. And these are my girls, abbie and lily. It's our weekend together. We're having dinner. - Hey, it's so nice-- so nice to meet you. - I'll be right there, guys. - I'm sorry. Your girls are adorable. - Thank you. So are yours. - Okay, here's the deal-- think of a sports bar like it was dad's den when we were kids. Never stand in front of a TV when a game is on, and never tell anyone they've had too much to drink. - And Dennis Miller ruined football. - You're a natural. - Thanks. Listen, do you think that maybe I could get a little advance on my paycheck? Gretchen's been really bummed out lately, and I told her I'd take her shopping. Just, like, 100 bucks. - I'll ask Stephanie if I can. - Ask me what? - Jen wants an advance. - Oh, there's no shame in that, Jennifer. - Didn't say there was, Stephanie. - Good for you. Wayne and I are happy to give you an advance. - Great. - This could be a teachable moment. - Ooh. - A what? - This is a great opportunity to discuss money management. Now, I don't know about you, but the way that Wayne and I manage our money is that we don't spend money that we don't have. - Uh-huh. - Does that make sense? - Yeah. Excuse us. Wayne? - Yeah. - Can I just-- - yeah. - Okay, so you have way more experience with her. When your wife talks like that, how do you keep from stabbing her in the eye with an ice pick? - I think about her naked. - Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't think that's going to work for me. - Yeah, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with that. - Okay. All right, great, thanks. - My door is always open. - You know what, that makes a lot of sense, Stephanie. - Great, this is gonna be fun. - Super fun. [Mouthing] Dina? - Oh, my God! - What? - I didn't know you were working here. - Hey! - Oh! - [Laughs] Hi. I have missed you so much. How are you doing? - Oh, I'm good. I'm still working for u.P.S. And pitching for my women's softball team, the L.A. lesbians. - Right. - Ladies like to put it out there. - Well, how are you and Jeremy doing? - Happily, head-over-heels divorced. - [Gasps] Oh, thank God. [Laughs] I have been biting my tongue for 15 years. I never liked that selfish moron. - He's still the father of my child, Jennifer. - Yeah. - I'm screwing with you! He's a scumbag! [Laughter] - Oh, God. See, this is what I miss. You know? - Yeah! - Remember when we used to sit in my backyard and smoking cigarettes... - Yeah. - And talking about our lives, and I was going to be the first American woman in space till Sally ride-- - you got to let that go, honey. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You know, my mom said something really weird. She said that you didn't want to come over for dinner. - What? That's crazy. - Yeah. I mean, I totally get it, 'cause my mom drives me crazy too. - Yeah. - She also made it seem like you didn't want to see me. - Oh, pfft. - You know, yeah. - Oh, sh--I gotta-- [Inhales] I'm just--I'm late for this thing that I gotta get to, so, um-- - oh. Okay, Dina, this is really weird. - What? - Yeah, it's weird. - No, it's not weird. - It is. Are we okay? - Are we okay? No, we're not okay, okay? We're really not, and we haven't been for years. And if you don't know why, that's part of the problem. But your hair looks really cute like that, okay? Have a nice life. - Dina. Dina. - Hi, is my mom in? - No, sorry. - Hi, sweetie, come on in. - Mom, are you hiring your patients again? - Isn't lorna great? - She just lied to my face. - It's a coping mechanism. She only does it when she's feeling threatened. Her family was a mess, poor thing. Bipolar father, domineering mother. Now she acts out sexually with men she barely knows. I can't really talk about it. - Okay, listen, can you take Gretchen shopping for me after school today? I promised her I would, but I have this interview. - Well, sure, honey. Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. Why? - You made this out to "what's the point"? - Oh. Sorry. Please don't ask me if I'm okay again. - Are you okay? - No, I'm not okay! Do I look okay? - You need to be in therapy. You have anger issues. - Why does everybody keep saying that? - I know you can't afford therapy right now, but I have a solution. I'm willing to see you for free. Or maybe a little yard work. - Are you nuts? - Well, just some light weeding. - Mom, I am not going to have my own mother as my shrink. I think Freud would back me up on this. - Freud. Who understands you better than your own mother? - Mom, you're not listening to me. I said no. - Give me one good reason why not. - Because you don't listen to me! - See, you can't. - $250,000? - I can work for less. Way less. - Doreen, she made $250,000 at her last job. - Damn, I wouldn't lose that job. - You can't lose that job. - That's the job you keep. - I'm afraid we're fresh out of our $250,000 jobs. - Did you check in the $250,000 job drawer? [Both laughing] - You know what? It's not funny. I lost everything. I mean, I had to move back in with my mother, and I'm working for my brother at his bar with his crazy-*** wife, my best friend hates me, and my daughter is planning her own funeral. - Wow. That sounds pretty rough. - Yeah, well, it is. - I'm so sorry. Hey, Doreen, join us. Jennifer's throwing a pity party. - Oh, I'll bring the kleenex. [Both laughing] - That's not fair. - Nothing's fair. I'm supposed to feel sorry for you because you have to work for your brother? You're working. You had to move back in with your mother? She took you in. - You know what, you are twisting everything around and making it all sound... Good. - Hey, I found the $250,000 jobs. I was sitting on 'em. [Both laughing] - Sorry I'm late, guys, but I had this little shred of dignity still stuck to me that I had to get rid of. - Gretchen called. She's mad at you for having mom take her shopping. - Of course she is. - Do you want my advice? - Your advice? - Just say you do. - I know it's none of my business, but-- - are you kidding? You know nothing about it, and I didn't ask you. Of course it's your business. - [Chuckles] Okay, loving the playful banter, guys, but these beers won't serve themselves, right? Table seven. [Indistinct chatter] - Seriously, Dina's table? - I'm sorry, but you have to get over your fear of lesbians. It's the law now. - Here you go, ladies. I'm Jennifer. Just let me know if you need anything else, like the chance to tell me why you're so mad at me. - Well, I asked for mozzarella sticks about 20 minutes ago. - Okay. Anybody else? Dina maybe? - Really? You really don't know? - Just tell me. What? - [Scoffs] - What-- Dina! [Sighs] Open this door! - Ah! Jesus! - Tell me what I did! - You changed. - I didn't change. How did I change? Oh! Oh! Okay, that is-- ow! Ow! You know what? I am not giving up that easy. - Whoa. What? Hey! What? - [Sighs] Okay, now, will you just talk to me? - I don't even know where to start. You remember when I was going through all that horrible stuff with Jeremy and I was flipping out? - Yeah, I sent you a $200 gift certificate to my massage therapist. - Well, I didn't want a massage therapist. I wanted my best friend to be with me and talk about it. - You didn't use it? - No, I used it, but still, it pissed me off. - Did he do the "hands on fire" thing? - Oh, my God, yes, that was amazing. - I know, you just melt. It's my favorite. It's like-- - no, but that's not the point. You used to be such a good friend to me, and then you turned into some stranger who just throws money at people. - Oh, my God. I did, huh? - What happened to you? - I don't know, I just-- I was making all this money and having all this success. And, I mean, I really was the Sally ride of investment banking-- - oh, my God! - Okay, I'm just saying. God. - [Scoffs] - [Sighs] I mean, I had a lot of what I wanted, but the truth is, I just-- I was still really, really lonely. Can't we just go back to the way things were? I mean, I know you still like me. You can't help it. I'm awesome. We both know that. - [Scoffs] - Hello. - Oh, my God. - Hello. [Laughs] This is probably my fault because we didn't go over it, but bar policy is that we don't usually take breaks so soon after coming in late. - Oh. - Or in the parking lot or in a friend's car. You'll get this. - Okay. - Two words. Hit and run. - There's a dumpster right there. Nobody would know. - Nope. - Hmm. - All right, get out. - See, we can build on this, right? You can't live without me. Don't kid yourself. Hey, I'm gonna win you over. - Now you sound like my second baseman. - Hey. - Hey. You okay? - Yeah. Yeah, I am. What can I get you? - Can I see a foam list? - [Laughs] You know what, I've got it down pat now. Watch. - Hey, very nice. - Thank you. I've always wanted to do this. [Glass smashing] Oh! That didn't work. You know what, I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna hand you this one. - No, come on. - Really? - Yeah, let her rip. - Yay! So I've gone from maximum profits to minimum wage. I work ten hours a day, then go home, cook, clean, take care of my kid, which is crazy and exhausting, and apparently, is something that 33.7 million single working mothers do in this country every day. So if I whine about missing my housekeeper, I am a giant *** bag. I miss lupe. [Laughter on television] - Thanks for the omelet, mom. - Oh, no problem. [Chuckles] Was it as good as the ones lupe-- - mom, don't. It was really fun going shopping with grandma. Yeah, she told me a lot about you. She told me about the shoplifting and the drinking and the pregnancy scare. But then she said she couldn't really talk about it. - She's my rock. [Both chuckle] - Maybe this was supposed to happen. - Maybe, honey. Maybe. [Chuckles] - There you are. - Mom, we were kind of having a moment here. - Perfect. Let's have a moment. I don't think you've ever seen these. This is from when we sent your mom to friendship camp. She loved it. - No, I didn't. - She loved it. See that big grin? - That's Angela Schwartz. - That's you. - I didn't have braces. - Never? Who am I thinking of? - Angela Schwartz. - Who's Angela Schwartz? - The girl in the picture!