Monsters University - English Transcript

The neck bone's connected To the head bone The head bone's connected to the horn bone The horn bone's right above the wing bones - I scared you! - No, you didn't. Okay! Remember our field trip rules, everyone. No pushing, no biting, and no fire breathing! What did I just say? Eighteen, nineteen... Okay, we're missing one. Who are we missing? Mike Wazowski. Thanks, Joe. Good luck finishing your crossword puzzle. - Sorry, Michael. I didn't see you. - That's okay. When I was on the bus, I found a nickel! I wish I had pockets. Okay, everyone, partner up. Get your field trip buddy. Jeremy! You and me? Okay, no biggie. Hailey? No? Pairing up with Claire? Great choice. She's a good egg. Russell. Mike? Wazowski? We car-pool? - We're cousins. - Hey! Okay. Good catching up. Well, Michael, it looks like it's you and me again. Come on, Karen. We're falling behind. Please don't call me Karen. Now, stay close together. We're entering a very dangerous area. Welcome to the Scare Floor. This is where we collect the Scream Energy to power our whole world. And can anyone tell me whose job it is to go get that scream? - Scarers! - That's right! Now, which one of you can give me the scariest roar? Me, me, me! Sir! Right here! Little green guy, two o'clock! No, it's like this. Hey, guys, watch this one. Hey, I got a really good... Whoa. Well, hey there, kids. Are you on a tour with your school? - Yeah! - Yes. We're here to learn about Scream Energy and what it takes to be a Scarer. Well, hey, you're in luck, because I just happen to be a Scarer. I learned everything I know from my school, Monsters University. Whoa. It's the best Scaring School there is. You wish! Fear Tech's the best. Okay. You guys watch us and tell me which school's the best. All right? MU is. Let's go, everybody! West coast coming online. Scarers coming out. Oops. Stop right there. Don't cross over that safety line. Human children are extremely toxic. Look at that! Whoa! Hey, guys, watch the eye! Ow! Look at that! It's amazing! I know! Excuse me. Fellas. How about we do tallest in the back? Look, he's going to do a real Scare! - Cool. I want to be a Scarer. - Yeah. Me, too. Come on, guys. I want to see. Out of the way, Wazowski. You don't belong on a Scare Floor. Brian! Do not step over the line. Mrs. Graves, Michael went over the line. Michael! See? I told you. He's fine. Well, I thought I heard something. What? Are you okay? You could have gotten hurt! I don't understand how this could happen! That was real dangerous, kid. I didn't even know you were in there. Wow. I didn't even know you were in there. Not bad, kid. Michael, what do you have to say for yourself? How do I become a Scarer? Monsters University! Anybody getting off? Well, everyone, I don't mean to get emotional, but everything in my life has led to this moment. Let it not be just the beginning of my dream but the beginning of all of our dreams. Gladys, promise me you'll keep auditioning. Marie, Mr. Right is out there somewhere. Phil, keep using the ointment till that thing goes away. I wish you all the best. Thank you all so much! I'm welling up with tears. Now, get off. Hello. How are you doing? Stroke! Stroke! Come on, put all you have into it! Stroke! Stroke! Okay! First thing on my list, get registered. Hey there, freshman. I'm Jay the R.A., and I'm here to say that registration is that away! - Okay, Jay. - Have a great first day. Hey, I'm Kay! Here's your orientation packet. Thanks, Kay. You can drop your bags off here and get your picture taken with Trey. - Say hooray! - Hooray! I can't believe it. I'm officially a college student! Okay, everyone, I'm Fay, and I'll be giving you your orientation tour on this perfect day! Here are the labs where students learn to design and build the doors to the Human World. Looks like the professor is about to test a door! The MU cafeteria serves a full buffet, three meals a day. I personally believe we have some of the best chefs in the world. - Yeah! - Yeah! The campus offers a wide variety of majors, but the crown jewel of MU is the Scaring School. Welcome to the Debate Team. We're happy to have you. I disagree for the following reasons. True happiness is a theoretical construct... Hey there! Keep your eye on the sky at the Astronomy Club! Hey, hey, hey! Come join the lmprov Club. You'll wish you were a... Never... Always... Ah, dang it! MU's Greek Council. We sponsor the annual Scare Games. The Scare what now? The Scare Games! A super-intense Scaring competition! They're crazy dangerous, so anything could happen. A bunch of guys went to the hospital last year! - You could totally die. - And it's worth it. You get a chance to prove that you are the best! Cool. Wazowski, Room 319. You know, your roommate is a Scaring major, too. "Hello, I'm your roommate." Oh, that's too bland. Don't force it. Just let it happen. Your lifelong best friend is right behind this door. Hey there. I'm your roomie. Name's Randy Boggs. Scaring major. Mike Wazowski, Scaring major. I can tell we're going to be best chums, Mike. Take whichever bed you want. I wanted you to have first dibs. You just disappeared. Sorry. If I do that in Scaring class, I'll be a joke. No, it's totally great. You got to use it. - Really? - Yeah, but lose the glasses. They give it away. Okay! Unpack. Check. Hang posters. Check. Now I just need to ace my classes, graduate with honors, and become the greatest Scarer ever. Boy, l wish I had your confidence, Mike. Aren't you even a little nervous? Actually, no. I've been waiting for this my whole life. I just can't wait to get started. Oh, man! I can't be late on the first day! Wow. You got to be kidding me. I'm so nervous! Relax. It will be fine. Good morning, students. Welcome to Scaring 101. I am Professor Knight. Now I'm sure all of you were the scariest monster in your town. Well, bad news, kids. You're in my town now, and I do not scare easily. Dean Hardscrabble. This is a pleasant surprise. She's a legend. She broke the all-time Scare Record with the scream in that very can! I don't mean to interrupt. I just thought I'd drop by to see the terrifying faces joining my program. Well, I'm sure my students would love to hear a few words of inspiration. Inspiration? Very well. Scariness is the true measure of a monster. If you're not scary what kind of a monster are you? It's my job to make great students greater, not make mediocre students less mediocre. That is why at the end of the semester there will be a final exam. Fail that exam and you are out of the Scaring program. So, I should hope you're all properly inspired. All right. All right. Who can tell me the properties of an effective roar? Yes? There are actually 5. Those include the roar's resonance, the duration of the roar, and the... Whoops. Sorry. I heard someone say "roar," so I just kind of went for it. Oh, excuse me, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you there. Hey, how you doing? Very impressive, Mister... Sullivan. Jimmy Sullivan. Sullivan. Like Bill Sullivan, the Scarer? Yeah. He's my dad. He's a Sullivan! I should have known. I expect big things from you. Well, you won't be disappointed. I'm sorry. Should I keep going? No, no. Mr. Sullivan's covered it. Everyone take out your Scaring textbooks and open them to chapter one. Hey, bub. Can I borrow a pencil? I forgot all my stuff. All right. Yes. There we go. That will get it. Yeah. Come on, Mike. It's a fraternity and sorority party. We have to go! If we flunk that Scaring final, we are done. I'm not taking any chances. You've got the whole semester to study, but this might be our only chance to get in good with the cool kids. That's why I made these cupcakes. That could have been embarrassing. When I'm a Scarer, life will be a nonstop party. Stay out of trouble, wild man. Wild man. What the... Archie! Hey! What are you... Wait... You're shushing me? Hey! Hey! You can't... - Where did he go? - He's dead meat. - That guy's in big trouble. - Yeah, he is. Hey, guys! Over here! Fear Tech dummies. - Sorry about that, buddy. - Why are you in my room? Your room? This is my... This is not my room. Archie! Come here, boy. Archie? Archie the Scare Pig. He's Fear Tech's mascot. Why is it here? I stole it. Going to take it to the RORs. The what? Roar Omega Roar. The top fraternity on campus. They only accept the highly elite. Okay, I'll lift the bed, you grab the pig. - Ready? 1, 2, 3. - What? No, no... What... That's it. Don't let go. Careful. He's a biter. Whoa! Whoa, hey... Whoa! I got him! That was awesome! What am I doing? James P. Sullivan. Mike Wazowski. Listen, it was quite delightful meeting you and whatever that is, but if you don't mind, I have to study my Scaring. You don't need to study Scaring. You just do it. Really? I think there's a little more to it than that. But, hey, thanks for stopping by. Let go of that! "My hat! "My Pig! Hey! Come here! Hey! Catch it! Come back here! Yeah! Ride it to frat row! Tentacles and serpent's wings, they... Hey! Go, go, go! Hey... Come on! Hey! Cupcake? Got it! Fear Tech's mascot! MU rules! M-U! M-U! M-U! Did you see him catch that pig? You are Jaws Theta Chi material, freshman. Thanks. I don't know... No, no, no. He's an Omega Howl guy. - Back off. We saw him first. - No way. We did! I'll take it from here, gentlemen. Johnny Worthington, president of Roar Omega Roar. What's your name, big blue? Jimmy Sullivan. Friends call me Sulley. This guy's a Sullivan? Like the famous Sullivan? I can't believe it! That is crazy! - Chet, calm down. - I'm sorry. Sulley, any freshman with the guts to pull off a stunt like that has got "Future Scarer" written all over him. Hey, did you see me ride the pig? That took guts. Slow down, squirt. This party is for Scare students only. Sorry, killer, but you might want to hang out with someone a little more your speed. They look fun! Hey there. Want to join Oozma Kappa? We have cake. Go crazy. Is that a joke? Sulley, talk to your friend. He's not really my friend, but sure. You heard him. This is a party for Scare students. I am a Scare student. I mean for Scare students who actually, you know, have a chance. Aw, snap! My chances are just as good as yours. You're not even in the same league with me. Just wait, hotshot. I'm going to scare circles around you this year. Okay. I'd like to see that. Don't worry. You will. Ready position. Common crouch. I want to see matted fur and yellow teeth. Basic snarl. Show me some slobber. Drool is a tool, kids. Use it. Now here is a monster who looks like a Scarer. You want a hope of passing this class, you better eat, breathe, and sleep Scaring. Yeah! Give me another one. - Fear of spiders. - Arachnophobia. - Fear of thunder. - Keraunophobia. - Fear of chopsticks! - Consecotaleophobia. What is this, kindergarten? Give me a hard one. Go Monsters U! You know what to do! The answer is C, fangs. Well done, Mr. Wazowski. - A bowl of spiders! - Correct! - A clown running in the dark! - Right again. Warts, boils, and moles, in that order. Outstanding! Ogre slump. Zombie snarl. Dominant silverback gorilla. That is some remarkable improvement, Michael. One frightening face does not a Scarer make, Mr. Sullivan. A Tauntaun Grimace with Extra Slobber. - You got it! - That's what I'm saying. I am going to wipe the floor with that little know-it-all. Yes, you are, big blue. Hey, wait. What are you guys... It's just a precaution. RORs are the best Scarers on campus, Sullivan. Can't have a member getting shown up by a beach ball. I am on a roll. I'm going to destroy that guy. Well, then you'll get this back right away. It's time to start delivering on that Sullivan name. Today's final will judge your ability to assess a child's fear and perform the appropriate Scare in the Scare Simulator. The Child Sensitivity Level will be raised from Bed-wetter to Heavy Sleeper, so give it everything you've got. Dean Hardscrabble is with us this morning to see who will be moving on in the Scaring program and who will not. Let's get started. I am a 5-year-old girl afraid of spiders and Santa Claus. Which Scare do you use? That's a Seasonal Creep and Crawl. Demonstrate. Results will be posted outside my office. Next. Focus. Johnson, Crackle and Howl. Yes! Hey. Do you mind? Don't mind at all. Come on, Mike. Let's just move. Stay out of my way. Unlike you, I had to work hard to get into the Scare program. That's because you don't belong here. That's what I thought. I'm so sorry. It was an accident. What? This? My one souvenir from a lifetime of Scaring? Accidents happen, don't they. The important thing is no one got hurt. You're taking this remarkably well. Now, let's continue the exams. Mr. Wazowski, I'm a 5-year-old girl on a farm in Kansas afraid of lightning. Which Scare do you use? Shouldn't I go up on the... Which Scare do you use? That is a Shadow Approach with a Crackle Holler. Demonstrate. - Stop. Thank you. - But I didn't get to... I've seen enough. I'm a 7-year-old boy... I wasn't finished. I don't need to know any of that stuff to scare. That "stuff" would've informed you that this particular child is afraid of snakes. So a roar wouldn't make him scream, it would make him cry, alerting his parents, exposing the monster world, destroying life as we know it, and of course we can't have that. So I'm afraid I cannot recommend that you continue in the Scaring program. Good day. Wait, what? But I'm a Sullivan. Well then, I'm sure your family will be very disappointed. And, Mr. Wazowski, what you lack is something that cannot be taught. You're not scary. You will not be continuing in the Scaring program. Please. Let me try the simulator. I'll surprise you. Surprise me? I doubt that very much. Welcome back. I hope everyone had a pleasant break. Some say that a career as a scream-can designer is boring, unchallenging, a waste of a monster's potential. Open your textbooks to chapter 3. We will now plunge into the rich history of scream-can design. Out of my way! Coming through! Sorry. Welcome to this year's Greek Scare Games kickoff. The Scare Games! Yeah! Okay, relax. We have a special guest, the founder of the games, Dean Hardscrabble. Good afternoon. As a student, I created these games as a friendly competition, but be prepared. To take home the trophy, you must be the most fearsome monsters on campus. So good luck, and may the best monsters win. All right, everybody. We're closing down sign-ups, so we'll see you all... Wait! I'm signing up! What? You have to be in a fraternity to compete. Behold the next winning fraternity of the Scare Games, the brothers, my brothers, of Oozma Kappa! Hi. Mr. Wazowski, what are you doing? You just said the winners are the most fearsome monsters on campus. If I win, it means you kicked out the best Scarer in the whole school. That won't happen. How about a little wager? If I win, you let me back in the Scaring program. And what would that prove? That you were wrong. Very well. If you win, I will let your entire team into the Scare program. But if you lose, you will leave Monsters University. Deal. Now all you need to do is find enough members to compete. We need 6 guys, right? Sorry, chief. We count bodies, not heads. That dude counts as one. Anybody else want to join our team? Anyone at all? Excuse me. Sorry. I'm late. - Can I squeeze by you? - Randy! Randy, thank goodness. I need you on my team. Sorry. I'm already on a team. Boggs. I'm finally in with the cool kids, Mike. Don't blow this for me. Do the thing. Where did he go? Please, anybody. I need one more monster. Just one more! Yeah, sorry. Doesn't look good. We have to move on. Your team doesn't qualify. Yes, it does! The star player has just arrived. No way! Someone else! Please! Anyone else. We're shutting down sign-ups, okay? Is he on your team or not? Come on! Let's go! Fine! Yes, he's on my team. Good luck. All right, Wazowski, what's the plan? This is a fraternity house? Hey there, teammateys! Come on aboard! As the president of Oozma Kappa, it is my honor to welcome you to your new home. We call this room "Party Central." Technically, we haven't actually had a party here yet. But when we do, we'll be ready! The hot cocoa train is coming through! Next stop... You! I would like to start us off first by... So, you guys are Scaring majors? We were! None of us lasted very long. I guess we just weren't what old Hardscrabble was looking for. Don Carlton, mature student. 30 years in the textile industry and then old dandy Don got downsized. Figured I could throw myself a pity party, or go back to school and learn the computers. Hello. I'm Terry with a And I'm Terri with an "I"! I'm a dance major! And I'm not. 5, 6, 7, 8! 7, 8, turn! And... Why didn't you turn? Because we never agreed to do this! - You said this was going to be cool! - No one said this was gonna be cool. - Now I'm embarrassed. - Now you're embarrassed? Yes, because it's in front of people! You should wake up embarrassed. Hey, hey, hey! I'm Art! New Age philosophy major. Excited to live with you and laugh with you, and cry with you. Thought you might like to keep a dream journal. Guess that leaves me. My name's Scott Squibbles. My friends call me Squishy. I'm undeclared, unattached, and unwelcome pretty much everywhere but here. Now that we've all been introduced, as captain of our team... So, basically, you guys have no Scaring experience? Not a lot! But now we've got you! You're about the scariest fella I've ever seen. Even with them pink polka dots. Thanks. Actually, I think I bring the whole package. Your hands are as big as my face! He's like a mountain with fur! Come on. I don't even work out. Yeah, me neither. I don't want to get too big. We thought our dreams were over, but Mike said if we win, they're letting us in the Scaring program. We're going to be real Scarers! - The best! - You betcha! Yeah! Right. And here's what you've been waiting for, fellas. Your very own Oozma Kappa bedroom. Great! We're sharing this room? We'll let you guys get settled. Anything you need, you just give a big holler-oonie! Okay, thanks, buddy. Are you kidding me? Look, they don't need to be good. I'm going to carry the whole team. Really? And who's going to carry you? Hey, if you want to go back to can design, you know where the door is. Great. Guys? Anybody home? Hello? Fellas? Do you pledge your souls to the Oozma Kappa brotherhood? - Do you swear to keep secret... - ...all that you learn here? No matter how horrifying? Hey! Will you take the sacred oath of the... - For crying out loud. - Sweetie! Turn the lights on while you're down here! You're going to ruin your eyes! Mom! We're doing an initiation! Scary. Well, carry on. Just pretend I'm not here. This is my mom's house. Do you promise to look out for your brothers... ...no matter what the peril? Will you defend Oozma Kappa no matter how dangerous? No matter how insurmountable the odds may be? From evils both great and small? In the face of unending pain and... Forget it! You're in. Look, we know we're no one's first choice for a fraternity, so it means a lot to have you here with us. Can't wait to start Scaring with you, brothers. - Time for a celebration! - Yeah! Grab the couch cushions, gentlemen, because we're building a fort! Mom, can we stay up late tonight? I know you're a princess and I'm just a stable boy. Yuck! - Mom! What are you doing? - Your grubby paw was in my bed! Were you kissing my hand? No. And what about you with all your shedding? - I don't shed. - Really. Uh... - Excuse me. - I just want to get my stuff. - Would you just... - Hey. Come on! ...let me get my stuff! First morning in the house. That's going in the album! - Guys! We got a letter! - A letter? We never get mail. - Sorry. It's stuck. - Would you... Give me that! Tentacles. They're sticky. It's the first event of the Scare Games. "A child's room is where you scare, "but avoid the toxicity lurking there." Wait a minute. Where do they want us to meet? Of all the sewers on campus, this one has always been my favorite. Art, you've been here before? I have a life outside of the house, you know. Welcome to your worst nightmare, the Scare Games! Scare Games! Scare Games! Yes! Yes, I love it! I love this energy! Okay. Okay, everybody. Let's hear it for the frats and sororities competing in this year's games... Jaws Theta Chi! Python Nu Kappa! Slugma Slugma Kappa! Roar Omega Roar! Eta Hiss Hiss! And finally, Oozma Kappa. Hi, Mom! Smile! Let's begin the first competition, the Toxicity Challenge! Human children are toxic! And anything they touch is toxic. We don't have any human toys, but thanks to MU's biology department, we found a close second, the stinging glow urchin! Trust me when I say, you are not gonna want to touch this bad boy! I want to touch it. And you certainly don't want to touch any of its friends. Yeah, I want to touch them. This is the starting line. The light at the end of the tunnel is the finish line. And whoever comes in last is eliminated from the games. - Mike... - What is it? Does that mean if we lose, we're out? - Don't worry, Smoothie. - Squishy! Squishy. We're not going to lose, because we have everything we need to win right here. Head. No! Me. I'm going to win the race for us. All right, all right. That's very cute, but move, move, move. I'm going to win this. It's an obstacle course. What are you going to do? Roar at it? I can get through faster than you, little guy. Take your place at the starting line! This is all about teamwork. Everybody, stick together. I'm going to beat you over that finish line. Get ready to eat my dust. Hey, guys, should we huddle up? Attention, teams. One last thing. Scarers work in the dark. - I want to go home! - On your marks... Hey, good luck, ladies. Thanks! We're going to rip you to pieces! What? ...get set... Go! I'm going to touch them! Come on! Guys! We're falling behind a little! Fellas! Cheese and crackers! Son of a moustache! Salisbury steak, that hurts! Is that as fast as you can go? - Just getting started! - What the... That's got to hurt! Terry! Don't worry, we'll be... Yikes! Roar Omega Roar wins! Take that, Wazowski! Are you delirious? I beat you! Get your eye checked! Way to blow it, Oozmas! Hey! Second place ain't bad. Second place, Jaws Theta Chi! What? Your whole team has to cross the finish line. Third place, EEKs! - Fourth place, PNKs! - No. - Fifth place, HSS! - No, no, no! And in last place, Oozma Kappa. I can't feel my anything. Shocker! Oozma Kappa has been eliminated! No. Don't look so surprised, Mr. Wazowski. It would have taken a miracle for you to... Attention, everyone. We have an announcement. Jaws Theta Chi has been disqualified. The use of illegal protective gel is cause for elimination. What! Which means Oozma Kappa is back in the games! It's a miracle! Your luck will run out, eventually. This is going to be harder than I thought. Okay! Listen up, Oozmas. Now, we're going to have to start winning these things together, so that means I'm going to need each of you guys to pull your own weight. - Mike? - What is it? We've made a list of our strengths and weaknesses. In high school, I was the master of the silent scare. I could sneak up on a field mouse in a pillow factory. Sorry! They get stickier when I'm sweaty. Oh, my gosh, that's terrible. We're experts in the ancient craft of close-up magic. It's all about misdirection. I have an extra toe. Not with me, of course. Guys, one slip-up on the next event, and we're goners. So for this to work, I'm gonna need you to take every instinct you have and bury it deep, deep down. - Done. - From now on, we are of one mind. My mind. Please. I will tell you exactly what to do, and how to do it. Okay, Mike. Seems about right. All right. Give me scary steps. 50 up and down, right now. Let's go! You're wasting your time. We need a new team. We can't just "get a new team"! I checked this morning. It's against the rules. What if we disguised a new team to look like the old team? No, no. We are not cheating. It's not cheating. I'm just, you know, leveling the playing field. Okay, so it's kind of cheating, but what do you want me to do? They're not exactly the scariest group in the world. Oh, a ladybug! Make a wish! Make a wish! This is not going to work. Where are you going? We're training. I'm a Sullivan. That's not enough. You're all over the place. You're charging ahead when you... You tell them what to do but not me. So long, Coach. Okay, Oozmas... Boy, we need to get you a bell. Listen up. "if a kid hears you coming, they'll call Mom or Dad, "then you'd better run fast or things will get bad." In the next event, if even one of us gets caught, we're all out. So remember, do exactly what I do. We are at the halfway point of the second event, and things are getting interesting. Got it. Only two teams left. Who will make it out with their flag, and who will be eliminated? In a real Scare, you do not want to get caught by a kid's parent. And in this event, you do not want to get caught by the librarian. Quiet. What's so scary about a little old librarian? I said, "Quiet." - Faster. - Slow and steady. - Slow and steady. - Slow and steady. Slow and steady. Slow and steady. - Sullivan! - Sullivan! No! 5, 6, 7, 8! Look over here! - Is that legal? - You better believe it, mop top! The only rule is don't get caught. Hey! Over here! - Come and get me! - Come and get me! Guys, what are you doing? They said don't let her catch you. But they didn't say how! Move it! Move it! Move it! Come on! We did it! No, we didn't. We forgot the flag! Mike? Way to go, Squishy! Way to go, Squishy! How? Misdirection. The EEKs have been eliminated and Oozma Kappa live to scare another day! We're OK! We're OK! We're OK! I've never felt so alive! We were awesome! Okay, look. That wasn't real Scaring. It was better than what you did. You should've stuck to my strategy. Whatever. Talk to me when we start the real Scaring. Hey! You guys going to the party? I think you've got the wrong guys. - We don't get invited to... - Party? The mid-games mixer at the RORs'. It's for the top Scare Teams. You're one of us now, right? See you there! - Did you hear that? - I can't believe it! - Bad idea. - This is great. They're finally seeing us as real Scarers. We're going! Do young people still dance? Because my moves are a little rusty. We forgot to bring a hostess gift. We can't go in there without some scented candles. Calm down. We earned this. What if there's a lull in the conversation? I never know what to... You know... Say? How are you so good at this? You just took on an angry 50-foot librarian, and you're afraid of a little party? Take a deep breath... ...and in you go! Hello. - It's Oozma Kappa! - These guys are crazy! What you did today was insane! That was awesome! Oozma Kappa, tonight we party like Scarers! I've never stayed up this late in my life! Hey, quiet! Quiet! Quiet down, you can-wranglers. All right. On behalf of the RORs, we'd like to congratulate all the teams that have made it this far. All, right, let's hear it for the PNKs! I love that trick! Never gets old. HSS! Very creepy- And finally, the surprise team of the Scare Games, Oozma Kappa! Come on over, guys. Now, I got to admit, fellas, I thought you were a bunch of nobodies. But, boy, was I wrong. Let's hear it for Oozma Kappa! Oozma Kappa! Oh! What? The most adorable monsters on campus. Release the stuffed animals. Faced! Don't worry. Nobody reads the school paper. Yeah, but I'm pretty sure they read the quad. Thank you very much. Okay. Would you like that with 2 sleeves or 4? Thanks. Tell your friends. Hey! What do you think you're doing? Raising a little money for charity. Yeah? Well, stop it. You want us to stop raising money for charity? That's not cool. This guy hates charity! I want you to stop making us look like fools. Hey, you're making yourselves look like fools. Let's be honest, boys. You're never going to be real Scarers, because real Scarers look like us. But, hey, if you really want to work for a Scare company they're always hiring in the mailroom. Guys, hold on! Hey, hey, hey! Wait a second. Don't listen to him. We just need to keep trying. No, you need to stop trying! You can train monsters like this all you want, but you can't change who they are. Mike... We appreciate everything you've done, but he's right. No matter how much we train, we'll never look like them. We're built for other things. Sorry, squirt! Some monsters just aren't cut out for the big leagues. The big leagues. Guys. We're going on a little field trip. My tentacle fell asleep. - Thanks, Mom. - Have fun, kids! I'll just be here listening to my tunes. Hey, where are we? The big leagues. Holy rely-poly- Wow. Nice fence. This is amazing, Mike. We're not stopping here. This is crazy. We're going to get arrested! AH Scare Floors now active. West coast coming online. Scarers coming out. Look at them. They're going into the human world, and they don't even look scared! Wow. Take a good look, fellas. See what they all have in common? No, not really. Exactly. There's no one type of Scarer. The best Scarers use their differences to their advantage. - Wow. - Terri? Look. Hey! Look at that old feller racking up the big numbers! Don, that old fella is Earl "The Terror" Thompson! What? Where? That's really him? He held the Scare Record for 3 years! Third door from the end! Carla "Killer Claws" Benitez! Look! It's "Screaming" Bob Gunderson! - I still have his rookie card. - Me, too! Doesn't have the speed anymore, but his - Technique is flawless. - Technique is flawless. You collected Scare Cards, huh? Yep. 450 of them. Impressive. I have 6,000 still in mint condition, but, you know, 450 is pretty good, too. Hey, look at me! I'm Earl "The Terror" Thompson! That's great! That's a pretty good one, Squish. I've been a real jerk. So have I. But it's not too late. We could be a great team. We just need to start working together. Hey! What are you doing up there? I can't go back to jail! Come on! They're right behind us! Get back here! Up there! Get them! - Thanks, brother! - Don't mention it. I'm fine, really! It's just a little heart attack. I want a piece of that action! Mom! Start the car! - What? - Start the car! Stop the bar? The car! Start the car! Okay. Come on, come on, come on, come on! Get in! Get in! - Mom, go! - Seatbelts. - Okay, go! - Does anyone want gum? Just drive! Okay. Here we go! Oh, yeah! Let's break in somewhere else! Rise and shine! Scary feet, scary feet... The kid is in the bathroom! Scary feet, scary feet... Oh, he's back! Wake up! 37! 38! Do I hear 39? Come on! Yes! Okay, Oozma Kappa, you're looking good. "To frighten a child is the point of a Scare. "If you frighten a teen, then Scarer beware." Okay, scare the little kid. Avoid the teenager! I'm on the phone! No one understands me! Whatever. But, Daddy, I love him! First place, Roar Omega Roar! Second place, Oozma Kappa! Third place, HSS. You're lame. "Someone is coming, this could ruin your night. "Stay hidden, take cover, and stay out of sight!" You got 10 seconds. Go! Kiosk! Pile of leaves! Standing out in the open. And there should be one more. How did I do? Not too shabby, Don! Thanks! I cannot get down. Zombie snarl! Angry poodle. Jazz clown. My Aunt Phyllis. In the morning. That's what I'm talking about! Time to go to work. You're out! You're out. Hey, tough luck, Kris Kringle. Thank you. Yeah! Yeah! We're down to two remaining teams, Roar Omega Roar and Oozma Kappa! Which leads us to the final event! "Every one of your skills will be put to the test. "The Scare Simulator will prove who's the best!" Tomorrow night you finally get to Scare in front of the whole school! Enjoy the attention while it lasts, boys. After you lose, no one will remember you. Maybe. But when you lose, no one will let you forget it. Oh, boy. That is a good point. Hey, Oozmas, you guys are awesome! You've got to teach us your moves. Well, then you're gonna want to talk to this guy. Sure, I can teach you. All right. You want to hide behind the chair? You have to become the chair. Thanks for coming, Dean. Dean Hardscrabble! If we get back into the Scaring program, I hope there's no hard feelings. Tomorrow, each of you must prove that you are undeniably scary. And I know for a fact that one of you is not. No. He works harder than anyone. Do you think he's scary? He's the heart and soul of the team! Do you think he's scary? We're going to win this thing tomorrow, Sull, I can feel it! We'll finally have our lives back on track. Hey. Mike? You know, you've given me a lot of really great tips. I'd love to return the favor sometime. Yeah, sure. Anytime. - We're doing this now? - Okay. You've memorized every textbook, every Scare Theory, and that is great. Hey! But now it's time to forget all that. Just reach deep down and let the scary out! Just feel it. Exactly. Go wild. I don't know. I've kind of got my own technique. Give it a try. Good, but bigger! Nope. You're thinking again. From the gut! Let the animal out! Come on! Dig deep! Boys! It's a school night! So, how was that? Up top. You know, it did feel different! I feel like it's all coming together. Yup, this time tomorrow the whole school is finally going to see what Mike Wazowski can do. You're darn right. Monsters University We give our heart to you Wherever children are dreaming We'll bring them nightmares, too Oh, Monsters University Alma Mater hail to you Welcome to the final competition of the Scare Games. Yeah! All right! It's time to see how terrifying you really are, in the Scare Simulators! But be warned. Each simulated Scare has been set to the highest difficulty level. The highest level? First Scarers to the starting line. Okay, just like we planned. I'll go first. Then, Don... Hold on. Mike's the one who started all this and I think it's only right if he's the one who finishes it. I think you should go last. Yes! Yeah, Mike. Finish strong! All right. Don, you okay going first? I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Oozma Kappa! Go Oozmas! I'm gonna do it. I'm going to beat this guy. Hey, Bruiser! You take it easy on grandpa. Unleash the beast, Don! Okay, then. Thanks for taking it easy on grandpa. Next group to the starting line. Let's do this. Yes! Yeah! - Come on, Art. - Come on, buddy. You can do it. Yes! Next up, Sullivan and Boggs! You got this, Sull. And it's all tied up! Ah! Tough break for the RORs. Hearts? Way to go, Boggs! That's the last time I lose to you, Sullivan. Worthington and Wazowski, to the starting line. Hey Don't worry about Hardscrabble. Don't worry about anyone else. Just go out there and show them what Mike Wazowski can do. Thanks. Don't take the loss too hard. You never belonged here anyway. Amazing performance by Worthington! - Johnny, you're my hero! - ROR! ROR! The Oozmas will need a record-breaking Scare to win this. You don't belong on a Scare Floor. No one will remember you. You're not scary. Come on! Dig deep! Yeah! They did it! Yeah! Hey! We're in the Scare program! Yeah! Come here, you son of a gun! - Way to go! - Yeah! A little stuck. Pardon me there, Ms. Squibbles. It's Sherrie. We did it! Way to go, Oozma Kappa! - Thank you! - Thanks a lot. - You rule! - I have never ruled before. You guys killed it out there! Awesome! Hey, Wazowski! Come on, let's go, you maniac! We're celebrating. Mike? I did it. I can't believe it. I'm going to be a Scarer! Yeah, yes, you are. You hear that? Get plenty of rest, kiddo. You haven't seen the last of Mike Wazowski. Boo! I knew I was scary. I didn't know I was that scary. Yeah, we're so scary I guess we broke it. Come on. It's been tampered with. I don't think you should be messing with that. Why are my settings different? Mike, we should leave. - Did you do this? - Mike. Did you do this? I.. Yes, I did. But you don't understand. Why? Why did you do this? You know, just in case. In case of what? You don't think I'm scary. - Mike... - You said you believed in me. But you're just like Hardscrabble. You're just like everyone else! Look, you'll get better and better... I'm as scary as you! I'm as scary as anyone! - I just wanted to help. - No. You just wanted to help yourself. Well, what was I supposed to do? Let the whole team fail because you don't have it? So your calculations were a little off. That door took me all semester. It's too dangerous. The professor's just going to shred it. There he is, the big guy. The first of many trophies, I am sure. Sullivan. Nice work out there. I look forward to having you back in class. Hey, there he is! Looks like I was wrong about you. You're one of us after all. Way to go, Sulley! Welcome back, broham! You are one of us now, okay? Anytime you want to come hang out and do whatever, you got a crew. You're a ROR, buddy! Hey! Where are you going? You did what? My team had nothing to do with it. It was all me. I cheated. I expect you off campus by tomorrow. Yes, ma'am. You're a disgrace to this university and your family name. What's going on? Someone broke into the door lab! What? Oh, no. Open the door! Don't go in there! You look funny. What? I'm so tired. What's going on? It's the middle of the night. A little funny green guy. I want to touch it! It's so cute! James! No one goes near that door until the authorities arrive. You don't think that could be... - it's Mike. - But he could die out there! James, wait! We can help. Leave it to the old master of sales. We got a call in, but that's the best we can do. Don Carlton, sales. Folks, today is your lucky day. How many times have you asked yourself the following question... - Arrest him. - Pardon? Spread them, pops! - Do you mind? - Don't move! What? Sullivan! Don't you dare! Sullivan! Don't go in there! Mike? Mike! The kids said they saw something in the cabin. - They're calling it an alien. - It was! I saw a little green guy! What's the problem, ma'am? Mike? Bear! A bear in the camp! Down this way. All right? I heard something over here! Mike! Come on, buddy. Let's get you out of here. This is all my fault. I'm sorry. You were right. They weren't scared of me. I did everything right. I wanted it more than anyone. And I thought... I thought if I wanted it enough, I could show everybody that... That Mike Wazowski is something special. And I'm just not. Look, Mike, I know how you feel. Don't do that! Please, don't do that! - You do not know how I feel. - Mike, calm down. Monsters like you have everything. You don't have to be good. You can mess up over and over again - and the whole world loves you. - Mike... You'll never know what it's like to fail because you were born a Sullivan! Yeah, I'm a Sullivan. I'm the Sullivan who flunked every test. The one who got kicked out of the program, the one who was so afraid to let everyone down that I cheated. And I lied. Mike, I'll never know how you feel, but you're not the only failure here. I act scary, Mike, but most of the time I'm terrified. How come you never told me that before? Because we weren't friends before. Check the lake! I heard something here! This way! I saw movement! Over there! Sulley! He's cornered! No! They're still in there! Until the authorities arrive, this door stays off! No! You can't do that! No! Enough! I want this room cleared now! You can't do this! We got to get out of here! - Let them come. - What? If we scare them, I mean really scare them, we could generate enough scream to power the door from this side! What are you talking about? I have read every book about Scaring ever written. This could work! They're adults. I can't do this. Yes, you can. Just follow my lead. Mama! Mama! Mama... What the... - Now what? - Phase 2. Keep together. Are you ready? - Mike, I can't. - Yes, you can. Stop being a Sullivan and start being you. Call for backup. Assistance on the north side. Repeat, we need assistance on the north side. Ranger, answer me, what's your 20? We need assistance on the north side. We have a... Look! What was it? Let's go. Sulley, come on! How? How did you do this? Don't ask me. Move, move, move! This is a 54-23 in progress. All right, everybody, clear out. Secure the perimeter. No child breach. Repeat: no child breach. You ruined our doors! I've been working on my door all semester! Let's go, you two. - You're alive! - We are so glad you're safe. Hey, wait! What's going to happen to them? That's for the university president to decide. But you can be sure we'll be watching these two. Always watching. - Expelled? - Yeah, we really messed up. So, you're leaving? Yeah, buddy. We have to go. Harsh, man. I'm sorry, guys. You'd be in the Scaring program right now if it wasn't for us. What? Well, it is the gosh-darnedest thing. Hardscrabble's letting us into the Scare program. What? She was impressed with our performance in the games. She invited us to join next semester! Congratulations, guys! And that's not the only piece of good news. Sherrie and I are engaged! Who is Sherrie? She's my mom. Well, if it isn't my two favorite fellas! Come here. Give me some sugar. So uncomfortable. Come on, Scott. I don't want you to think of me as your new dad. After all, we're fraternity brothers first. This is so weird. Just think of me as your big brother that's marrying your mother. Wait. Hold on. We're brothers who share the same mom slash wife. That's worse. Well, I guess we should be going now. Promise me you'll keep in touch. You're the scariest bunch of monsters I have ever met. Don't let anyone tell you different. So, what now? You know, for the first time in my life, I don't really have a plan. You're the great Mike Wazowski. You'll come up with something. I think it's time I leave the greatness to other monsters. I'm okay just being okay. So long, Sull. So long. Wazowski! Stop the bus! Are you crazy? Mike, I don't know a single Scarer who can do what you do. I know, everyone sees us together, they think I'm the one running the show, but the truth is, I've been riding your coattails since day one! You made the deal with Hardscrabble. You took a hopeless team and made them champions. All I did was catch a pig! Technically, I caught the pig. Exactly! And you think you're just okay? You pulled off the biggest Scare this school has ever seen! - That wasn't me! - That was you! You think I could have done that without you? I didn't even bring a pencil on the first day of school. Mike, you're not scary. Not even a little. But you are fearless. And if Hardscrabble can't see that, then she can just... I can just what? Careful, Mr. Sullivan. I was just warming up to you. Sorry. Well, gentlemen, it seems you made the front page again. The two of you did something together that no one has ever done before. You surprised me. Perhaps I should keep an eye out for more surprises like you in my program. But as far as the two of you are concerned there is nothing I can do for you now. Except, perhaps, wish you luck. And, Mr. Wazowski, keep surprising people. You know, there is still one way we can work at a Scare company. They're always hiring in the mailroom. This is better than I ever imagined! I bet we break the all-time record in our first year. Mike, we're mail guys. I know. I'm talking about the record for letters delivered! All right, newbies, quit goofing around. I'll have you know tampering with the mail is a crime - punishable by banishment! - Yes, sir. We're right on it, Mr. Snowman. The team of Wazowski and Sullivan are going to change the world starting today! Say scream! - Scream! - Scream! Wazowski, good luck on your first day! Thanks, Mew. - Good luck, Mike! - Thanks, fellas. You coming, Coach? You better believe it. I made it! My first day of class! The school year's over, son. You missed it. Great.