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TEA lN THE HAREM
OF ARCHlMEDES
You can take off your mittens, hey?
- Hello, Malika.
- Morning...
Sit down, leave me alone,
you drive me nuts!
Be quiet, children...
Come on, come with me.
Move your chair...
There you are.
- Eat, Tarzan!
- Let's be quiet now, calm down...
SlT-lN STRlKE
Morning, all!
Thanks, kid!
You OK?
Seen Madjid?
He's repairing his bike
at building C.
Don't fool about!
You see that, Maggie?
Anita put her ash in her cup...
That's a lie, Maggie!
Next time serve her coffee
in an ashtray.
Great!
Maggie...
- Give me a beer.
- Not now!
- A coffee, please.
- Right away.
Your bike's had it.
Don't bother.
lt's due for the scrap heap.
All the bums have left...
We're on our own, eh?
You're about to *** me.
Stop it... ***!
You'll never change!
***!
Hey, Rustine,
let's get dressed up!
We've got a date.
Shall we call a taxi
for the gentlemen?
Don't bother. Be cool...
You bum!
You ***!
Who's that?
lt won't be you who pays
when my dog's sick, huh?
Young idiots!
My wallet!
You lost it? Sure?
Look in your purse.
- lt may be at home.
- No, the subway tickets are in it.
My wallet, ***!
- What's up?
- My wallet, l said!
My wallet!
This guy's mad, crazy!
You've no right!
Want me to take off
my shoes, now?
What a bum!
We can't do much with that!
How much?
- 200F.
- 200F with a strip?
A full strip's extra.
How much?
200F, baby!
Too much...
He has a discount
for a large family, you accept it?
Go home and let me work.
Oh, a hard-on, ***!
Check that out!
Let's go and screw Josephine.
Not a bad idea.
OK, ciao.
- And Josephine?
- l'm not in the mood.
ls anyone there?
l'm stuck in the elevator!
What you up to, Rustine?
My husband'll be home soon.
lt's only 5pm!
Not today!
Don't be dumb...
You should have come earlier.
Couldn't make it.
Where's Madjid?
- Evening!
- Hello, Josette.
- Where's Stéphane?
- ln the bedroom.
Ready, Steph?
Eat here, Josette?
l must get home
and put him to bed, he's tired.
- Some hot soup?
- Really, thank you.
What about the strike?
The strike's over,
now it's the dole line.
Go and fetch your father.
Hurry up!
Take off your shoes.
Stay here, you!
Stéphane, come and eat!
l'm not hungry!
Get up!
Will you fetch your father
or must l go?
l don't understand.
Don't understand? l'm tired,
my legs are tired. You just sleep!
Good-for-nothing!
Bum!
Listen to me!
Why don't you get a job?
Lazy bum!
Listen to me!
The neighbour, Mama,
her Ali is a good boy.
Works like a man,
brings money to his mother.
Doesn't smoke
or spend his nights out.
May Allah bless him!
- Work, work...
- l found a job.
That's good, son.
- But l need to be French.
- What? French?
Never! Never French!
You hear me?
***!
Attack!
Attack, attack!
Calm down, J.R.
Calm...
- Looking for your Daddy?
- ***!
Not very warm, is it?
Everyone's in
a bad mood tonight!
Keep it down, savage!
Seen your face, black boy?
This place is such a bore...
Shut up!
Where'll we go in winter?
The club may reopen.
lt was your joint
that got us thrown out.
The guy who runs it smokes...
Let's hear some music.
This place is such a bore...
This place is such a bore...
Then go take a walk.
Go sing somewhere else,
my kids are asleep.
Can't even talk in this hellhole!
Then listen to my music.
l do as l like,
where l like!
Give me that, ***!
Give it back,
you don't know how to use it!
What an ***!
Let's party!
l'll record a song for you, OK?
- Break it, l'll break you!
- lt's coming.
What's that jerk doing?
Give that back, ***.
- Lucky it doesn't record smell!
- Really!
Ladies and gentlemen,
we will now play back
my fart. lt's majestic, unique,
the only one that has no smell.
Switch up the sound!
That black's a jerk. The only one
around and he's all ours.
- That was close.
- He almost busted my brains!
- Who was it?
- Don't know.
- Think he'd warn you first?
- Dumb ***!
Watch it, the guy
may have a machine gun.
Careful!
Postillon or Gévéor?
Must have been a wino.
- Pastelvin.
- What?
Pastelvin, can't you read?
Real luxury!
Let's check each floor.
Can't have come
from 1st or 2nd.
- Don't bother, it was my dad.
- Sure?
He gets the stuff
from my grandpa in the country.
Tell your dad
he's a stupid ***.
l did,
so he threw me out.
Where can we go now?
- Your place?
- lf you want.
Not the basement,
it stinks!
l'm off.
l'll be along.
- See where your *** got us?
- Enough!
Walking daddy home?
With me it was the opposite.
My dad brought me home
and kicked my ***!
- ls that why he split?
- Yes.
*** off.
l want him to laugh.
He never laughs.
Give it back, ***!
Look, he's crying!
Give it to him.
You're a real idiot.
Thanks.
Chantal!
- Want a coffee?
- l haven't time.
- 5 minutes...
- l'm already late, Madjid.
l'll walk you to work.
We've nothing for you.
You're just out of school...
lt's hard to get you
a job as a mechanic.
There's always
that course at F.M.
l can sign you up.
But l'd have to be French.
You were born here...
Take out French citizenship.
l hear you have courses
for driving school monitors.
l'm sorry
but your medical file indicates
you have bad eyesight.
- Me?
- lt's written here.
Sorry.
Goodbye.
Sir...
lt's for
the driving school course...
Yes, come in.
So, what's it like in there?
And you still count on them...
You little ***!
So...
Learning to ***, hey?
Did they hurt you, Mado?
Know what that is?
Like an elephant's ears.
That's the ***, idiot!
And that...
Know what that is?
These kids don't know anything!
Those are ***, idiot.
And Mado,
do you know her?
Well, she's not a bike.
Caress her
before riding her.
You mustn't damage her.
Start her up gently.
We were there first
and we left her intact.
So think of the next guys.
Say thank you to Mado.
Thank you, Mado.
Next time bring her chocolates.
She loves them.
Don't you, Mado?
Move it out!
Enough of your ***!
Maggie, he's *** me off!
Get out... Go on, out!
Faster than that!
The first one to move
buys me a drink!
Bunch of tight-***!
Not one who lifts a finger...
lD papers.
Take me for an Arab?
Don't get smart with me.
Or this'll end badly.
Patrick Fontaine...
born 23l7l65...
Cité des Fleurs.
Hey, old man...
Please,
can't you send me to heaven?
Just a little shot
to help us forget. Even your mug.
Why Rustine and not us?
lf you want to hook
the complex, start here.
Search him.
Come back with your junk
and we'll shred you!
Hear me, you ***?
Malika!
Come quickly,
daddy's hitting mummy!
Stay here.
Stop this, what's wrong?
Let go of me, you filthy Arab!
l'll kill that ***!
Let me go! ***!
***! ***...
***-faced ***!
***! l'll kill you!
Not nice, Mr Levesque.
You shouldn't drink like that.
- Did l scare you?
- A bit.
You surprised me.
Come with us?
Where?
Come and you'll find out.
Stay here and wait for us, OK?
Say thank you
to the gentlemen.
ls it much further?
My legs hurt.
We're almost there.
- Hello.
- What is it?
Like my sister?
Joachim...
How much?
- fifty francs.
- You joking?
OK, see you later.
When you're rich.
Thirty!
Coming!
The pigs!
This is for real.
Both want a ***?
Then that's sixty francs.
l want a beer
before starting.
lt's over, grandpa.
We've got to go.
You get one go,
not all night.
Like her?
A blonde, next time.
lnstead of shouting,
you should bring us a beer!
My back aches.
You must have really
got off with those monkeys!
lt makes me want to puke.
The sex-starved jerks
didn't make you come?
The fun's all over, for me.
- What's up?
- Nothing.
Tell me.
Something's wrong,
tell me what it is.
Leave me alone.
What's going on?
Talk to me.
Leave me alone.
Here, take this.
You think that
can make me happy?
Take it, l said.
lt's for your kid.
She's putting on an act.
You've been had, again.
Turn off the TV.
- Finished your homework?
- A kiss...
Everyone go and wash.
Hey, you donkey!
Aren't you ashamed of sleeping
while your mother works?
You'll get up early to see a girl,
and a French one at that!
l saw you!
Aren't you ashamed?
Mom, l need money
for a notebook.
Let me cry my heart out.
This boy will be
the death of me.
- How much?
- Fifteen francs.
Go and get your father!
Hello, Madj.
Hi, lsa.
- How's your mother?
- Still shouting.
She's right.
You tire her out.
You know
you're not allowed alcohol.
There's orange juice,
if you like.
Hey Pat...
since your sister started work
she won't talk to us.
Don't mention work
we'll start a fight.
So, Miss Secretary...
any work for a cleaner?
A pretty girl shouldn't
be stuck in an office.
Cut it out.
Coming, Madjid?
Let's split.
Are you coming?
Here are my saviours.
Get them a drink.
What did you save her from?
Shut up!
lt's not funny.
lt was for her kid.
Anything new?
A few, take a look.
Good thing
they put up the fence.
Do up your pants,
your tools are showing.
Put it away
before we cut it off!
What's wrong?
Mallard's wine.
l stole it from his cellar.
Let's see if that's true.
***!
A toast to us!
Hand over the bottles!
Come on.
Holy ***!
We'll get smashed!
What a party.
You guys,
we're having a party.
Come on,
there's wine and everything.
lt's Christmas!
- Make room!
- Go ahead.
***, that's huge!
Here's to old Mallard!
Let's get out of here!
Nice of you to drop by!
Come on, dad?
Son of a ***!
l'll show you...
Come on, come on...
l thought they weren't
afraid of anything!
He's out cold.
Anita!
Did you see Mallard's face?
See Pelletier?
Look at the *** running!
Well done.
Hey, Pat...
You brought your gang?
Shut up, fat ***.
We came here to learn.
Looks like you guys
have been done.
This is a cinema,
not a hospital.
Fat Luc,
you with your lady?
Mind your business.
Last time
she came through here
she came back on all fours!
Ask her if she still has
those blue ***.
There's a fight in the air.
Blood! Blood...
lsn't your name Mallard?
You live over
in building B?
Opposite from Pelletier?
l know them.
They *** up
at the station bar on Fridays.
Winos out! Winos out!
That's really smart!
- A quiet cuddle?
- l'm dead!
- Got a cigarette?
- Yes.
The last one.
l'm going to see my mother.
She'll have some cash.
Mine shouts all the time.
Mine too.
Especially now my sister's working.
Makes me look like a bum.
Any news of your father?
Neither him
nor the neighbour.
Then she must still *** well.
No reason to drop everything.
We *** her too
but we didn't run off with her.
l told my mom l went to
the labour office to fill in forms.
- Really think she believed you?
- Yes!
You can't even write.
Got a little something?
Where should we drop you?
We have to go,
we work tomorrow.
We work, too!
We can't leave like this...
Start with our own
then switch?
- Mine's good, hey?
- Not bad.
You can start with her,
as long as we're switching...
Come on,
between brothers...
Alright, if you want.
Your mother?
- Where is she?
- She's dead.
- You're all alone?
- My dad lives in the States.
- He's American?
- Polish.
So you're Jewish.
Shame you have your period.
- How did yours ***?
- Cool it!
Can't even joke, now.
Chantal, get in.
Rotten weather.
You OK?
What's wrong?
You should stay in bed
instead of following me every day.
l wanted to see you.
Yeah, right!
What's with the car?
lt's a Citroen.
Did you steal it?
l didn't want you
getting wet.
- l won't stay in a stolen car.
- l didn't steal it.
You're full of ***!
lf l knew how, l'd tell you...
- First, you have to change.
- lt's you who's changed.
- How was l before?
- You didn't avoid me.
ls there a guy?
A guy...
Poor idiot.
We haven't any mauve.
The U's in yellow.
No, you've done the O's,
now do the U's.
But there's no yellow.
Hi, is he ready?
- When will you be back?
- Two days.
And not three, OK?
- Dad!
- Hello, sweetie.
l guess 3 days would be too much,
like paying child support.
l'm in the ***,
l'll give it to you later.
- Come see what l've done.
- l'm coming.
Show me your works of art.
Show me how much
progress you've made.
The teacher wrote that?
- No, l did.
- l hope so!
And what's this?
Can you read this?
l've lost my job, you know.
Come on, let's go now.
- Are you coming?
- No, l'm busy.
- Let's go to the sea.
- Yes!
You OK, Steph?
ln good shape? Happy?
What's wrong?
What's going on?
Oh, sweetheart...
Come on!
Mom!
Give him a spoonful
if he coughs,
and see he has a pillow.
What's wrong?
***!
What are you doing?
Leave that alone!
Hey, you guys!
Hi, Balou.
lt's Balou!
Unbelievable, he's back!
l thought he was still inside.
Check out the car!
Look at the bills!
We could make them
fall off.
Look!
Holy ***,
he's rolling in money.
Look at that bird!
Mamma mia,
check out the chick!
l can't see anything.
What a honey!
She's shaved her ***,
brother!
l can see everything.
Whatever.
That's much more interesting.
You don't get it,
it's an old bet.
To the winner!
Once more...
Thanks, Balou!
Let's drink to this!
Where have you come back from?
He couldn't read, either.
The-tea-harem-of-Archimedes.
The theorem of Archimedes.
You've been drinking?
Drunkard!
Now he's taken to drinking.
That's all l needed.
Aren't you ashamed?
Drunkard.
Good-for-nothing! Bum!
What will the neighbours think?
He's killing me.
Madjid, my son...
l'm worn out.
l'm going to ask the Consulate
to take you home.
You'll do your military service.
You'll learn your own language
and you'll become a man.
lt's the only way.
l'm tired of
trying to make you see,
you don't understand.
Help me, my son...
What's left for your mother?
You're ruining yourself
and me as well.
Think of your brothers and sisters.
l'm worn out, tired.
May Allah protect and forgive us!
Stéphane, and mama
and Josette.
Four, three, two, one...
Happy New Year!
My God!
What's happening to us now?
Madjid, hurry up!
Go up to Josette's apartment.
Quickly!
Don't do it, Josette!
Oh, Allah!
What about the little one?
My God, Josette,
don't do it!
Tomorrow l'll find you a job.
A good job...
Well paid.
l'll hire you, tomorrow.
At the canteen.
You'll be a waitress,
it's well paid...
She's a kid,
she owes me 3 months rent.
The fire brigade
is on its way.
Tomorrow, Josette!
l'll find you work!
Tomorrow...
Allah...
Your little boy,
who will he call mother?
Think of the boy...
We're with you.
No, Josette!
Don't!
Your little boy
will be looking for his mommy!
Mom, look at my Babar!
Allah!
At Auteuil, the filly Nougatine
could well beat Mégalite,
also doing well,
and still the favourite...
News flash from Jean Gallé:
The body ofa North African was
found on the banks of the Seine.
The initial identification
has been made as a Mr Lakhdar...
Lakhdar, Lakhdar, my son...
They've killed my son.
Yesterday they got Abdelir
at Nanterre, and Kader at Vitry.
They got Touffik at La Courneuve...
Tomorrow who will it be?
- Tomorrow, it'll be you!
- Tomorrow, it'll be you...
- lt's no good.
- What's no good?
lt's too fast.
Yes, it's too fast.
We'll take it again...
What's it about?
His mother
made another scene yesterday.
Any jobs going?
Come by and ask.
Tomorrow?
But no *** around,
or l'll get it.
Don't worry.
Hey, Frenchie,
you want to act with us?
We need a white guy
to play a cop.
What does it pay?
You'll never change.
Which side is the street?
Stop wasting time.
- l don't know how to do it.
- l'll show you one last time.
l don't care.
Get out.
This is your nice easy job?
- They threw you out too?
- lf you like.
Don't say you left
so as not to let me down.
l didn't say that.
You're an idiot.
l'm an idiot?
You can't even weld 3 wires!
- lt just doesn't interest me.
- What would interest my lord?
- Shut up!
- Ok, it's over.
- You could have got one with nuts.
- Then change it.
As you move forward, bend...
You're moving like my grandmother.
Come on.
The rich.
Did you see her ***?
They can't even play,
it's all to show off.
- Let's do the locker rooms.
- They do sports, they run fast!
Yeah, right.
Don't worry, come on.
Holy ***, we cleaned up!
***, brother,
they're something!
Check out the black one.
Wow, holy ***!
That one would need a whip.
My *** needs action.
Go dip your wick.
- Too many people around.
- Who gives a ***?
Are you going, or not?
l don't know which one.
Look, check out the one
sitting on the red car.
She doesn't look bad.
Yeah, l'm off.
Meet you in the bar.
- Excuse me...
- Don't go.
You won't tell, will you?
Not anybody?
Don't worry, l won't.
Promise.
Don't,
your brother's over there.
Don't cry,
l won't tell him.
Here...
- No, l don't want anything.
- Come on.
No, l *** everything up.
Madj...
We'll have to start calling you
Lucky Luke.
Pulls a gun
faster than his shadow.
So?
l didn't go.
Why not?
She was a drag queen?
A whisky, please.
Something's wrong.
Madjid...
what are you doing?
Come on.
Come on! Pat as well!
Get in!
We have to get his dad.
Cut the ***!
He can't sleep there
and he can't get home alone.
- We'll take him.
- Yeah, get in.
Alright.
Oh, the sweet rat.
Hey, he's coming back.
Get a move on, Mado!
***, we're in a hurry.
Come on.
- Roll up.
- lt's Christmas!
Where'd you get this?
- Where'd the car come from?
- His dad, we're breaking it in.
l've got an idea.
Keep it, your last one
put us in police custody.
- Tell us.
- Let's go to the sea.
- Yeah, why not?
- l don't have my bikini.
That's OK,
you can still have a swim.
What do you think?
Let's go!
Shut up.
Guess you'd rather
go home to your dad.
Tomorrow we'll pick up
rich babes in Deauville.
Old ones, with lots of cash.
Fifty-fifty!
- You can't.
- Because?
Rich women like to *** blacks,
not go out with them.
Madjid and l are going to have
a festival at Cannes.
You sit in a chic café,
where they like drinking their tea.
You choose one
that's not too moth-eaten,
she looks at you...
You give her a baby smile
and she gets all wet to do a kid.
And her husband?
Doesn't care, he's gay.
The bourgeois are all ***.
But l'll never be rich
if they're all ***!
Their wives are bored shitless.
Anyway, you stay
on that café patio.
You look at her again.
She looks at you.
She cracks,
goes to the john...
And calls you in.
Let me finish, idiot.
She goes off
with her little purse,
writes her phone number
on a piece of paper,
then goes back to sit down.
She says to her husband:
''Shall we go home, darling?''
She lets him go first,
and as she passes your table,
as cool as can be,
she puts it
in front of you, my brother.
- But you can't read!
- Loser.
A phone number
just needs to be dialled.
She waits for you
in her villa behind the hill,
with its big iron gate
and huge trees all around.
You press the bell
at the gate,
and hear the intercom say:
''l'll open up, my love''.
The gate opens by itself...
And what do you do
with the dogs?
The rich
always have huge, flashy mutts.
She's sent everyone away,
it's all yours.
You cross the garden,
already with a hard-on.
You reach the door.
She opens it, the ***,
wearing a long, white
see-through dress.
You check out her ***
as she passes.
She takes your hand...
and leads you to a chair.
She takes your jacket,
you sit down,
she says:
''Whisky or champagne, my love?''
She fills the glasses.
Cheers.
She looks at you
with sultry eyes.
She offers a cigar box.
You take one
and she lights it for you.
You take a deep puff...
and let yourself fall back
into the armchair.
Then you close your eyes...
and feel her fingers
opening your flies.
And my ***'s off and running.
Give her a ball, like a real pleb,
until she's worn out.
That way she'll call you again.
And if she wears you out
you call us in?
She puts a *** of bills
in your pocket,
and you start seeing her often.
She introduces you to her sister,
her mother, her sister-in-law...
No hassle,
you give it to them all
while the husband
gets buggered on his yacht.
Your ***
has sent Madjid to sleep.
Let him sleep.
He makes the plans
and l carry them out.
Wait for me!
See? This is fun.
Unbelievable!
Hey, it's the cops!
Cops! ***, guys!
Madjid!
- Where are you lot from?
- With him, we'll get the others.
Sous-titrage : Eclair Vidéo
Ripped by SOUTHSiDE in 2002
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