Ryan stiles

You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue.

If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.

I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.

I look like Walt Disney just threw up.

Back off or the lizard gets it!

That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.

If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.