Stephen leacock

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.

If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.

On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing.

Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.

Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.